Do you have to physically escalate on the first date?

chips_and_hummus · 2024-06-14T17:00:00+00:00

at least break the touch barrier on first date. light flirty touches. does not have to be a kiss. if she responds very well to the touching (doesnt pull away, moves closer to you over the date, touches you back), then you should go for the kiss at the right moment.

if you don’t kiss on the first date its far from “lost”. should def try on the second though in those cases.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-06-14T16:42:31+00:00

No, you dont have to but you should. If you dont and between your first date and the second date she goes on a date with someone who does, you are going to be at a massive disadvantage all the way to her telling you that she is seeing someone now

norwegiandoggo · 2024-06-14T16:02:45+00:00

You don't have to. But you improve your chances if you do in most cases. Unless she's very conservative.

postbody · 2024-06-14T16:26:18+00:00

IMO yes every time. I always go for the kiss no matter what

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2024-06-14T16:40:34+00:00

It depends on the girl. Happeend to me once early in my dating life where I waited to make a move and lost my chance. I'd say don't wait past 2nd date. First date if you can get it then go for it.

contemplatiive · 2024-06-14T22:01:13+00:00

Read her broski. Reach for her hand, if shes cool you go for the kiss... You need to leaen how to read

spacemangoes · 2024-06-14T16:32:11+00:00

doesn't have to be escalation but, you have to give out the vibe that you are a man who want to take her. If you just chat like she your friend, she's gonna be your friend. sad but, its what happens most of the time, unless you are following the first 2 rules.

MrHelloBye · 2024-06-15T07:07:37+00:00

I'd venture to say most girls won't feel comfortable kissing unless she's *super* into you right off the bat. Physical escalation is a series of steps, not a leap to the end. Break the touch barrier. If she recoils from you even trying to just touch her, yeah it's a lost cause. If at the end of the date she doesn't even want to hug, or seems to do it out of pity or obligation, also lost cause. But it's pretty ordinary to not end a first date with a kiss. You have to read feedback, no way around it.

TripleDigitNomad · 2024-06-14T22:50:20+00:00

I always go for the invite back to mine on the first date, defaulting to a kiss at the very least, if she declines. You should be doing the same if you don't want to be mistaken for lacking confidence.

FromTheCaveIntoLight · 2024-06-15T15:48:42+00:00

You don’t have to do anything. But if you want more success, at least touch (hand, arm, shoulder, thigh) and see how she responds. Tell you a lot of how she feels about you. So in my mind, it’s a must.

EntertainerSimpler · 2024-06-14T17:05:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

atomant88 · 2024-06-14T17:03:38+00:00

Always try to escalate. As long as you ask for consent you cant go wrong. She can always say no and you try again later.

axiom60 · 2024-06-15T13:18:26+00:00

With the nature of dating apps these days where women are talking to several guys at a given time, yes because the window of time after you first meet a woman to establish yourself as a potential partner is very small, otherwise you get friendzoned. It took me way too long to realize the reason I’m not making it to the second date is because i let the first one be completely platonic and they only see me as a friend because of it.

mufasis · 2024-06-15T16:15:33+00:00

If you watch really great artist, they will escalate on the first approach by lightly making some type of contact, shoulder touch, hand hold slightly longer than socially acceptable, hug, something that triggers in their brain this guy likes me. On the first date you just extend this and see the response, it should always be in a push/pull format.

PrinceDestin · 2024-06-15T19:28:42+00:00

Ain’t that the point? I would never go on a date and not at the very least get a make out session,

Foxito_007 · 2024-06-16T07:01:19+00:00

I usually take things to a physical level on the first date, like kissing, hand touching, playing with hair, gently touching legs, and whispering behind the ear. If she's conservative and not comfortable with it, then I know we're not a match, and I will not see her again.

Her loss 😂😂.

Ok_Perception_2294 · 2024-06-16T08:01:53+00:00

Yeah just get a few touches of the leg, hair, back in and take it from there, it’s normally relatively clear based on how she responds to that.. also environment, I like to start off somewhere a bit more social if it’s a bar so she feels comfortable then move to somewhere a bit more intimate if things are going well

Traditional_Dig_249 · 2024-06-16T15:59:17+00:00

you can plan out the first dates and organise them such that the women go straight to your place - i laid out a plan here mindful-masculinity.org/2024/06/11/9-step-first-date-same-day-lay-guide-planning-texting-and-escalating/ had a decent 30 percent hit rate on dates for me in terms of getting the woman back to the house - you can try to escalate soon on the first date see what happens if it fails plan a 2-3 location date then push for the bounce back to your place

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-06-14T20:18:15+00:00

There is a difference between not making a move because you are in total control VS not making it because you are chicken shit.

If you frame this as “this is a 30 min interview for her to prove to me that I should consider having sex with her”, then you don’t need to make a physical move. You can just say “it was great talking to you, I will be in touch”. Leave it at that.

Then text her in a few days “let’s plan a get together. How’s this Thursday? You bring the wine, I will order take out. Here is my address”. Then when she shows up, get busy within 5-10 minutes. Then you choose if you want to hang out and drink wine and get take out OR not.

2024-06-14T20:28:08+00:00

You won’t be physically escalating if u area 5’9” and indian like me.

Sporty_guyy · 2024-06-14T16:50:38+00:00

If casual you can . If looking for long term avoid it .

dobbs1997 · 2024-06-14T17:20:47+00:00

lol what do YOU wanna do?

harrysquatter69 · 2024-06-14T18:50:57+00:00

Always go for it—if you’re turned down you know where you stand. If you’re not you’re positioned well to repeat if the second date goes well and potentially escalate further by the third.

BravoPUA · 2024-06-14T19:25:26+00:00

You don’t HAVE to do anything

But

You run the risk of friend zoning yourself, letting her attention get filled elsewhere, and losing your shot by not.

I use to go for kisses at the start of the date :)

Kobe_curry24 · 2024-06-14T19:59:47+00:00

It’s important to establish a man to woman vibe with her and yes touch her but you should of established this the first time you met her for the that first date take her to a place that makes this easy to do not a boring ass dinner date

punktfan · 2024-06-15T05:28:48+00:00

Yes, you should start physically escalating within half an hour. That doesn't mean you have to go all the way to sex on the first date, or even kissing, but you need to start touching as soon as possible or you're gonna friend zone yourself.

Title	Do you have to physically escalate on the first date?
Author	EquinosX
Upvotes	48
Comments	74
Date	June 14, 2024 3:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dfua9j/do_you_have_to_physically_escalate_on_the_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-you-have-to-physically-escalate-on-the-first.1521498 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521498

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