Everybody sucks before doing 100 approaches. Don't complain, approach.

showerthought1222 · 2019-08-12T02:11:20+00:00

2500 a month for one person? Like Dayum son I should be a millionaire 😂 shit sounds too easy

jikol1906 · 2019-08-12T05:38:52+00:00

During the last one and a half month I've done maybe 120-130 daygame approaches:

I mostly use direct "Excuse me, I thought you looked cute and just had to say hi"

I am:

- 6'

- Average looks 5.5/10 (My rating on r/truerateme)

- Dress decently.

My stats:

8 dates

5 kiss closes

1 fuck close (and one bj from another)

Most girls were in 4-6/10 range.

Don't know if I should have expected more or less.

HoobaDooba420 · 2019-08-12T03:22:27+00:00

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” Helen Keller

Bammer1386 · 2019-08-12T03:48:29+00:00

Very true. Youre going to look back at your 10th, 11th, 15th, etc approach in hindsight and be thinking, "WTF I SAID THAT?"

It's going to happen, and it's because you are learning. Sometimes I like to beat myself up when I'm trying to sleep about something embarrassing I did in real life at work, or a meeting, or in public, and realize its only embarrassing because I learned something from it, realized I shouldnt have done that, and I'll try a different approach next time.

ekoagobuchi · 2019-08-12T08:45:58+00:00

It is also important to approach with the intent to take it as far as possible otherwise you will not be growing along the edge of sexual tension which is where pickup occurs

Anon-E-pamplemousse · 2019-08-12T03:37:27+00:00

At first I thought you meant 100 approaches to warm up for the night. I was like, damn I must be really good at game. Then I realized you meant total. Honestly I'd say you have to do 1,000 or so approaches for the average n00b learning this stuff to get decent, 100 doesn't come close.

Keep in mind, you can approach as much as you want, if approaching and girls rejecting you is tearing down your mental state, picking up girls is going to turn into a terrible fucking experience. You have to learn to enjoy doing this. For me just starting out, I forced myself to break through the pain of rejection until it didn't phase me anymore. Kind of like little mini breakups that would hurt for awhile when I got rejected, after so many approaches and actually getting make outs, getting handjobs in an alleyway, and actually getting laid, I realized the rejections don't really matter. Besides they're not really rejecting you, they have no idea who you are after a 1 minute conversation, and most dudes aren't even doing that, they're just walking up and saying some stupid shit and getting shot down immediately, lol.

saulisdating · 2019-08-12T05:54:49+00:00

Pretty much best advice on this sub, except for the PS part.

Improvisation and saying what pops into your head is my whole shpiel and it works amazingly well the vast majority of the time... If you do it right.

Approaching like in the mystery method is good for absolute beginners. But then it quickly falls off in how well it does VS improvised approaches.

See when you teach guys how to rely on themselves and their wit/personality, instead of a certain approach "from the book"... sure, at first it's gonna be more difficult. But with certain constructive feedback and adjustments, they quickly learn and their approaches quickly become significantly better than they'd normally be.

I tried it both ways with some students and it really shows. The difference in ability is MASSIVE later on.

UncleGrga · 2019-08-12T06:32:35+00:00

i dont agree with quantifying it. but OP is right, practice anything to get good. standard learning curve, use it to your advantage.

Everything is scary/difficult/confusing at first, driving a car, climbing a mountain, welding etc... The key is, learn some basics, apply them, learn from mistakes, learn as you practice.. you'll either gain mastery... or you'll find a place on the learning curve where you're happy with the success level you've attained.

Below is what a learning curve looks like.

https://i2.wp.com/stratfordmanagers.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/07learningcurve.jpg?w=900&ssl=1

Now this 2nd part is key. State of flow... A lot of these bootcamp guys want to throw you in the fire, and to an extent it helps... but observe the chart below, and thats flow... do things in comfortable increments, this works amazingly with bodybuilding for example. picking up women is a little trickier, since the scariest part is initiating contact, so there is no comfortable zone at first.

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Ying_Yang52/publication/279226015/figure/fig1/AS:613447343554574@1523268652149/Graph-of-Csikszentmihalyis-flow-state-when-a-persons-ability-to-execute-a-task.png

ChrisDarmount · 2019-08-12T20:35:03+00:00

For me, this was more nuanced. I needed to do approaches and also read. Obviously only reading is a terrible strategy. And the attitude, "I'm going to read all these books and AFTER I'm done THEN I'll approach" is pretty dumb, cowardly, and masturbatory.

That being said, its really easy to get caught in a loop where you're approaching and not getting anywhere because you don't have enough information to learn from your mistakes. Thats where the books come in. I listen to audiobooks, and I do while I'm cleaning and stuff. I don't do them instead of approaching, but at times when I wouldn't be approaching anyway.

Also, I've found listening to books on approaching and game to be a little like hypnosis. I keep pounding my brain with the idea of approaching, which makes me more likely to approach when I'm out.

The best book I've read on approach so far is called "The Natural". He started out as very socially stunted and ended up being very socially intelligent. As a result, he explains very many things in great detail. Things that other people find intuitive and thus they don't explain (or even know how to explain), he breaks down very clearly and in great detail. This allowed me to actually analyze where each approach went wrong and to actually make progress and learn from my approaches.

This is called "directed practice." Malcolm Gladwell talks about this in one of his books. Its possible to practice a lot and not get very far. You have to practice in such a way as to make progress.

gtrman571 · 2019-08-12T03:12:33+00:00

I’ve done way over 100 and still suck lol

aym4ne · 2019-08-12T09:53:55+00:00

50 in one weekend?? How? Seriously I can't find more than 4 girls in one evening! I usually hesitate for 3 and go for one lol (fml)

Taken250 · 2019-08-12T02:59:58+00:00

I already approached like 300 women. Didn't get any better. So I question your theory

BrunoFromBrazil · 2019-08-12T06:57:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

randomcritical · 2019-08-12T13:14:08+00:00

I aggree, however i also think that going in with the mindset of shes so pretty i want to ask her out isnt the only reason to go and have a conversation. Like how you interact with people who you already have to interact with. For instance last week i was getting some ice cream instead of saying one chocolate icecream please i asked the lady what flavour she likes. I was making jokes not to flirt with her but to just have some fun while shes making my icecream. Its a great boost for your confidence, it helps you with your social skills, puts the both of you in a great mood and most important you have icecream.

treatsndentalsticks · 2019-08-12T13:37:48+00:00

What if you approach 1 and she asks you out? I'm I to say sorry I have to approach 99 more women but please wait for me.

kurdishboy47 · 2019-08-12T18:33:35+00:00

I think approaching is good and all but if you're all desperate about it thats the root of the problem.

I think we should be tellin guys to chase their dreams instead of women. Because approaching becomes a lot more easier when it's not the most exciting thing or the only thing you're doing with your life.

Maybe im wrong but thats how i feel.

NSOLOGIST · 2019-08-12T21:06:30+00:00

Yessir. Just like performing on stage, if you want the benefits of having the types of cojones to walk up to ANY woman, you gotta earn your stripes.

wolfbee16 · 2019-08-13T01:44:11+00:00

For my bros in college, work at a night club! My social skills have gone up ten fold by working at one the past 4 months. Sober or drunk I can talk to almost any girl. Working sober I watch and learn from watching guys. I practice different things on girls and the best part is there are an ample amount to talk to. I have learned so much but I’d say the most important have been body language and tone of voice. Getting good at those will give you results. Most of the time I’m chatting up a girl I say pretty much whatever comes to my mind first, stupid or not. It’s about how you say it and the confidence you put behind it

Aeon199 · 2019-08-12T06:16:03+00:00

Brazilian women have the highest standards of all, from what I've seen/heard. If you're not some super-social guy, it's pretty much over. You can't even be slightly shy, over there in Brazil, and expect to get action, like, ever...

beta5507 · 2019-08-12T07:13:41+00:00

What’s the best place to start approaching? I go to a small college (~3500) and almost all the local bars are almost always populated by someone from my school. I’m trying to stay away from that and go an hour away or so. What are some good types of spots to look for?

Paltenburg · 2019-08-12T07:14:32+00:00

Good point!

But I hardly think you just mean the Mystery method do you? I'd pick the method that resonates the best with yourself.

Conscientiousless · 2019-08-12T09:58:27+00:00

How to get the most out of every approach? It's not always easy to see exactly where you fucked up.

oe84 · 2019-08-12T12:20:54+00:00

That is a good advice but where do you find so many girls to approach ?

ManyCountry · 2019-08-12T14:10:33+00:00

Great advice

injesterstrust · 2019-08-12T16:14:42+00:00

It means 'read the Mystery Method and approach exactly like it says in the book'

Mysterymethod is kinda outdated and will also put most newbies way too in their head, worrying about remembering DHV stories and what 'order' everything needs to be done etc (''shit, I can't say that since i'm not in A3 yet. I need to get another IOI, but she IOD'd be, so now I need to IOD her and then DHV etc etc) lol

Also, most of seddit encourages direct game

MBSCinsight · 2019-08-12T16:56:25+00:00

While I agree with you that going out there and approaching 100 women is helpful and will help guys increase their ability to seduce women, suggesting Mystery Method is not a long term solution to a core issue.

CharacterNote · 2019-08-12T17:09:06+00:00

Can't recomment mystery personally. Look at how he just bores people and how weird all of his littlte methods make you look lol. (whole vid is funny, but the main interaction is like around the 6 min mark or so)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuceTz9gZRQ

Also, his results were fairly average, especially considering he was facially a good looking dude who was also like 6ft 4 lol

But yeah, I do agree on approaching loads to just get more comfortable with women (which translates into getting better)

secrecypuzzle · 2019-08-12T17:32:37+00:00

tips?

Made an approach on a girl in the bar close to where I live.

I open with FTC and then an opinion opener.

She answers but seems a little bit taken aback like she’s surprised some random guy is talking too her. (non touristy part of Scotland. Strangers don’t talk. small town. Even in bars it’s quite unusual to see people cold approach)

I tease her about her answer and she smiles.

I nearly ask her what she’s up too but have to stop myself as this is a mistake as per mystery method game? No questions allowed yet (even though RSD do it)

Nothing about her gives me an interesting cold read or a roleplay or anything that I can go into and so I DHV and tell a short story that mentions my model ex girlfriend (lol). She doesn’t really reply. I take that as an IOD, so I need to give my own IOD as per the rules? Not sure what IOD i’m supposed to give here, but I get my phone out at if she’s lost my attention.

I now need to DHV again although she’s now turned her back to me. I know i’m not allowed to ask her questions and stuff until she’s showing me interest, so I re-open her and run horsegirl routine on her. She doesn’t really respond much, but she’s listening. Take that as an IOD so I need to IOD back, but not sure what IOD i’m supposed to give here.

Looking at my phone basically lost her last time! I just look around the room a bit. Aware that I can’t ask her name or anything yet, I make an observation and run the smile routine (c shape, U shape). She’s like ”that’s interesting” but it feels more polite than that she’s actually interested.

I’m kind of out of material here and since she hasn’t asked me anything, I can’t ask her name/age/plans etc, so I need another routine, but i’m a little in my head and can’t think of any others in the moment and she leaves.

Better than an instant rejection though…sort of

IllStep · 2019-08-12T18:20:06+00:00

Any other long term seddit readers completely baffled to see a post advocating myserymethod is so heavily upvoted?!! lol

(seddit famously hates mystery and is instead reccommends mark manson which is like the polar opposite! haha)

Kratz177 · 2019-08-12T18:27:26+00:00

100? I would say do at least 1000, if you ever want to learn this.

world-breaker-hulk · 2019-08-12T19:18:59+00:00

What’s the mystery method

EarthWarping · 2019-08-13T00:26:21+00:00

After doing a few approaches, realizing that rejection doesn’t hurt so badly is quite the uplifting feeling

NegativeCollision · 2019-08-14T17:40:13+00:00

I had about 200, I lost count after 80

j50wells · 2019-08-30T21:39:58+00:00

Everyone sucks before doing 20,000 approaches. Don't believe me? Why did it take Neil ten years to find the girl of his dreams? Why did it take Mystery 4-6 years in Toronto, approaching 4-5 thousand women a year to get extremely good.

C'mon, we all know the numbers. Neil did 50-100 approaches a week. That's 2500-5000 a year, for ten years, before he finally found what he was looking for. It takes a long time to realize a dream.

Sinn did the same. Don't believe me? If things were so good, why was he suicidal after being a pua for several years? If you blew your brains out after sleeping with 100 women, then what's the point?

It takes years of womanizing to work out the cobwebs and figure out who you are.

If you want to be a womanizer, then you become a lifelong womanizer....period. It's not a game, it's a lifestyle that should last you your whole lifetime.

showerthought1222 · 2019-08-12T02:09:55+00:00

How are you qualified for this?

winningace · 2019-08-12T03:31:53+00:00

Yep. Do 100 minimum.

You don't need teachers. Just find your why and that'll be motivation enough.

BrunoFromBrazil · 2019-08-12T17:14:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SeriousInterneter · 2019-08-12T06:09:51+00:00

This showed up on my feed randomly so im not a member, regardles... DO NOT approach random women. Focus on becoming physically attractive it is infinitely a more effective use of your time... women could care less how you act. I wish someone told me that years ago... well anyway good luck and i know i wont change anyones mind today, but i will plant the seed in the back of your head and over time you will see anecdotal evidence that what i am saying is in fact, accurate. Good Day lads.

showerthought1222 · 2019-08-12T01:53:55+00:00

Probably works if you want some basic ass hoe

BrunoFromBrazil · 2019-08-12T13:25:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BrunoFromBrazil · 2019-08-12T11:29:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Everybody sucks before doing 100 approaches. Don't complain, approach.
Author	BrunoFromBrazil
Upvotes	527
Comments	169
Date	August 12, 2019 12:56 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cp54ro/everybody_sucks_before_doing_100_approaches_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/everybody-sucks-before-doing-100-approaches-dont.1475870 https://theredarchive.com/post/1475870

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