Got rejected brutally

Brostory_com · 2019-02-11T12:17:11+00:00

Had the "worst" experience with rejection ever three weeks ago:

Early on at the club, dancefloor empty, two hot blondes standing by the edge.

Im feeling out of it as fuck but decide I have to do it anyways.

Walk over the dancefloor to the girls.

Say hi, whats up.

My voice cracks, sound like a castrated pigeon.

They straight out ignore me, don´t even give me a glance.

I turn around and fall over a chair. SMACK.

Straight onto the floor.

Entire fucking club was watching, LOL. People pointing.

And my wing just started laughing like crazy.

It was like a fucking movie experience, this shit doesn´t happen in real life does it.

So all I could do was join him, we both started laughing our asses off.

All my ego dropped in a instant. "I fucking did it" frame.

Had a insane night after that filled with confidence.

Getting hard rejected is the best thing that can happen to you!

spankthegoodgirl · 2019-02-11T11:25:21+00:00

From a woman.... take note of how you react to rejection. If they are looking at her being humiliating and mean, they are also looking at you playing it cool, polite, and not giving a fuck. And that reaction from a man is sexy as hell.

CloudzTheCook · 2019-02-11T10:29:54+00:00

Rejection doesnt matter, the more you'll learn to open up interactions the more you'll come across as confident and get rejected less and less.

Side note: your friend got rejected because his opener wasn't conveying enough confidence. Why would he introduce you first before himself? You'd have to be already a good gamer to introduce that way. Always start by yourself, show you're confident and cool, then bring your friends in

chaar__log · 2019-02-11T11:33:07+00:00

I was out with my friend day gaming just for.fun when we approached a set of three. The better ones were more receptive and smiling but we got rejected bu the ugly one. She literally was like 3. She basically told us to fuck off. But j knew that the the rejection had nothing to do with us and we got a cool story about how we got rejected by the ugliest one in the group.

2019-02-11T17:47:19+00:00

Some men prefer only to approach women when there are some indicators of interest first (eye contact, maybe a smile). Cold approaching is like playing the lottery, you can have success or get shot down brutally

I've been out with a beautiful friend earlier. She was constantly hit on and the approaching guys usually ignored us, her friends. Bad move, no one will like you, you'll be seen as the invader of the group, yet another horny guy who approaches the pretty girl. You as an individual don't do anything wrong, but you're not seen as an individual, but the 10th guy annoying this evening.

And the other way isn't so much better: A friend of mine still hangs out with the girl and says that he is extremely annoyed to always having to deal with her satellites (he's not interested in her for sure); some of them try to use him as a "friend" to get into contact with her, what's fake as hell

itzReborn · 2019-02-11T15:08:46+00:00

Where you sober by any chance

injesterstrust · 2019-02-11T13:49:27+00:00

Are you from the UK out of interest? Them kinds of reactions are normal here unless you're totally her type lookswise

Zlint · 2019-02-11T18:42:12+00:00

Bit of a confession from me but a while back during the day, I approached a woman on the street, told her how she looks beautiful, then replied that she had a boyfriend, as I was going to walk away she told me that she was approached by guys in a similar manner before and that what we were doing doesn't work. I felt like a creep. Ever since then my approach anxiety has escalated as I always think about what she said to me that day...

2019-02-11T20:27:12+00:00

Side note: some guys are so scared of rejection that they reject themselves based on neutral responses. Don’t be that guy.

Dcm210 · 2019-02-11T12:26:26+00:00

Some women are cunts, some women are nice. Good on you for taking the second path.

K3wp · 2019-02-11T16:38:36+00:00

Guys, don't cold approach. Especially in clubs when the girls are sitting down or otherwise engaged. You are going to get hard bounced, guaranteed.

Be warm and approachable. Look for IoIs and then make your move.

ModernWolfStrategies · 2019-02-11T15:49:18+00:00

Yea, you’ve got to laugh it off. The only other option is to get frustrated which just makes you look like more of an asshole. I’d really want to put it out there for new guys that this type of rejection is more likely to happen the later at night it is (people have been drinking longer and are more confrontational), the younger the crowd that are there (21-23), and the clubbier the club.

bluefingerblue · 2019-02-11T16:15:41+00:00

For future reference I think the worst opener ever is “hey this is my friend blah blah”.

It makes you both look retarded. Like why couldn’t you introduce yourself? And why is this clown introducing you and not himself? What’s wrong with him?

Tell your boy to permanently drop that line from his repertoire.

2019-02-11T20:37:40+00:00

We're you getting IOIs? If these girls didn't look at you then don't give them the time of day. That's why you got rejected. If you had rejection in your head chances are you are gonna get rejected. Don't take it personally. You didn't receive any signals from them telling you it's cool to approach. I wait for eye-contact and usually after that I'll approach. I do day game and social circle game. This is one of the biggest signs that a girl is into you. You'll never get rejected again after you learn to read IOIs. Indicators of Interest. You probably missed tons of them while you were there. If the girl really wants dick, watch out for lip biting. I got this a couple times. It's hot when a girl does this. I had waitresses do it that were 10s.

When you walk up to a two set. Go with energy and Say are you both having a good time tonight? Talk to lots of people don't just focus on the girls. Build rapport around the club. You always want to give eye contact because you are coming across as authentic. Make sure you smile and have a good vocal tonality as well.

DajuanKev · 2019-02-11T15:52:54+00:00

Brutal rejections WILL happen, its a fact. Just remember that there are women that will blow you away with reception.

Its all good.

Kenic_In_MD · 2019-02-11T16:09:55+00:00

Thats not bad at all OP. One time I literally got laughed at, and another time the girl I was gaming went back to her friends, told them what I was doing, all had a laugh together and then came back to me to joke about it.....

Those shutdowns were easy man lol, you'll get used to rejections. Think about it this way, they aren't rejecting "you" personally. Maybe they didn't like what was on the menu you presented.

wont_give_no_kreddit · 2019-02-11T16:17:24+00:00

Yeah, getting over that fear its annoying. Some nights i never get past it so I just sit and watch whatever its on TV while sipping from my drink.

I am not really popular on the looks or charisma department so any past success its just a matter of being at the right place and at the right time.

Haven't experience that kind of rejection yet but I see how it can ruin any courage built to that point.

Having a fuck it attutude its probably the best thing we can do when it happens.

PolesWithGoals · 2019-02-11T17:16:50+00:00

I was at a bar and a girl literally just came up to me and said, “don’t talk to me, you’re ugly”. As a result, I don’t to go that bar anymore. Rejections could always be worse, my guy. Keep your head up

Tyrion69Lannister · 2019-02-11T18:15:59+00:00

So how often does this actually happen to the average guy? Is it every other approach? Once in a blue moon? Ppl in pickup tend to only talk about and over exaggerate the positives and I’m just trying brave myself for reality if this sort of thing happens often

kimicooka · 2019-02-11T20:53:50+00:00

Good attitude to have! If you ask out 10 girls 8 could say no and 2 could say yes. You just have to get through the no's to get the yes's sometimes.

ace_grandmaster · 2019-02-11T10:29:21+00:00

Thank you. I needed to hear this.

minneapplewoman · 2019-02-11T17:35:14+00:00

Just because your not some girls cup of tea doesn’t mean your not to other girls. Not everyone works and this made me feel warm. Thanks for sharing

meltboro · 2019-02-11T20:37:53+00:00

honestly it sounds like you guys did something to get yourselves noticed by everyone in that bar in a bad way, maybe the bartender didnt like you or something? Or maybe the second girls just saw the first rejection? Perceived social value is pretty important

RProgrammerMan · 2019-02-11T23:37:26+00:00

I think the beginner mistake is to think that rejection will hurt your self-confidence and your self-esteem, which causes fear. In reality it only increases your confidence because no longer are you the guy too afraid to approach woman but now you are the guy who has the balls to approach woman even if it means rejection. The rejection itself toughens your skin and the fear disappears. You realize they can't hurt you but only make you stronger.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-02-12T03:36:16+00:00

1

I went through a harsh breakup 6 months ago and am just starting to get back into the game.

Sorry to hear about that break-up, man....

This sort of thing can really cast a long shadow and directly lead into the challenges you find yourself facing as you get back into things, so I have to ask:

How did you meet this ex? Who opened who and what was the response? Where did you meet? Etc.
Did you see the break-up coming or was it a surprise?
If you saw it coming, how long were things in decline before the final break?
Who broke up with who and how did the whole thing go down?
Are you on speaking terms with her now?

2

Getting beyond your fear of rejection is a huge step! :) It's usually one of the biggest hurdles we as humans face when we end up back in the dating pool.

That said, there's a lot of constructive feedback that could be offered to help you and your friend in how you run game out there.

The first rejection went like this: My friend and I were standing next to some girls and he turned to them and said: "May I introduce you to my friend..." and before he even finished the sentence the girl took a look at me, just said "no" and turned around.

Couple things here:

"May," is uncertain and easily interpreted as weak unless you're really owning it. Either he wasn't, or you weren't holding yourself well.
Overall, such a polite and weak sauce intro is almost begging to be slapped down. It had zero to do with anything happening around you or the girls. Which means it was a weak interruption that immediately annoyed them.

Having confidence is important, but being observant is perhaps the most important thing many guys overlook. Or if they do observe, they discount what they observe as relevant to how they interact with others. This could not be further from the truth. So many things going on around you, are great to reference in conversation because showing that you are paying attention and simply talking about what you've noticed, is simple, but powerful. It amounts to connecting with people based on your shared experience. This is no small feat.

3

The second rejection was when we went to a quieter part of the bar and I saw a girl sitting with her friends, so I just went up to her and introduced myself. Immediately she got extremely defensive and told me basically to fuck off. I was a bit perplexed by her angry tone and stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds, when even her friends came up to me and told me also in an extremely rude tone that she wasn't interested and I should piss off.

People don't go from zero to defensive and angry out of nowhere most of the time. You can observe who is more open to interacting with strangers pretty easily by paying attention to non-verbal communication before you open. It can be as simple as noting who smiles back if you're smiling. Or who avoids eye contact and who doesn't.

You're going to get these types of responses when you take stabs in the dark without getting any kind of feel for where other people are at.

4

I chose to take the second path: I owned that shit, told my friends about the epic ways I was just shut down twice, had a good laugh about it with them and continued to chat up girls. I ended up talking and dancing with two hot chicks throughout the night and even got the number of one of them.

Good show! It's definitely a good quality to be able to shrug it off and keep a good attitude! Can't really teach this.

5

Just don't take it seriously and realize that everybody has a type and there are always girls that will reject you, just don't let it pull you down.

Definitely true! You can do everything "right" and still get bad responses. I've seen people react negatively to someone making a throwaway comment in passing (with no intention of stopping or interacting beyond the comment) that someone in their group had an infectious laugh.... The reaction from one person was like they just saw a cow with two heads or maybe they assumed the guy was trying to shoehorn into their table. Drunks sometimes, amirite?

streetMD · 2019-02-11T13:06:41+00:00

I wanted to make a post for this but I dont know how on the reddit phone app so I'm just throwing a comment here... do you guys on this sub ever feel like losers for spending so much time and effort working on "game" to pick up chicks? I mean all the reading of books, watching videos, seminars, I've even seen some guys pay 1,000 bucks for a online coach. It just seems like you become one of those "try hards" and never get any pussy anyway.

I think the more time spent working on game the worse you get. Maybe like a self fulfilling demise in your quest to get women. I read something in a book that said "the best way to have charisma is to not try to be charismatic" makes some sense.

If you just focus on you life and don't be a little bitch the women will come. What do you guys think?

cyrilan · 2019-02-11T10:39:37+00:00

This is perfectly normal. Girls will almost never be open and nice to you on the open. They will have their shields up. It's very important to understand this. Whenever I approach a girl, I don't expect her to respond well at all. I have to persist until she does.

Girls put these shields up to filter the cool guys from the losers. Losers will be put into their head by her reaction and give up. Cool guys would laugh around and get her to warm up to them as they assume value.

A_man_of_culture_cx · 2019-02-11T17:09:24+00:00

Getting rejected for the first time and get easier as you do get more and more rejected.

The only problem is though that not all guys/girls in this world chill in the club and want to hook up with some random other guy/girl and eventually start a relationship with them.

Like in my case: I have a crush on a classmate? Not really a class mate. We have only 2 classes together.

Since I have no friends and am afraid and idk how to do shit, I try to make friends with her best friend. Not bc she is her best friend but bc I generously like her.

The initial plan was talking to her friend and make my crush join the convo, no it looks like I found a friend lol

Not bad either

DrExtra · 2019-02-11T19:58:56+00:00

Bro honestly what you're telling me that's not even that bad. Get more thicker skin, by the time you do situations like this won't even bother you.

BrickSandMordor · 2019-02-11T21:09:40+00:00

Truly, only a bitch will believe it's acceptable social etiquette behaving badly as OP described. Only a stupid person goes on like OP described. Being rude is impolite obviously to most all people. Seriously it's not a literal battlefield getting hit by fire. Because the only girlfriends who will believe that act means someone's a moral angel are the stupid ones. Why care to impress dummies? /s

OP, I see two options: A.) Give no more of your energy or time to the mean B.) treat those the way they want to be treated..Back by informing her she's rude and probably a bitch. And it would be extremely rare that any of her friends find the behavior of their friend acceptable as a matter of fact.

ltdemon · 2019-02-11T21:36:19+00:00

Fuck that bitch.

Good on you for not getting beat down over some random girl.

2019-02-11T22:57:49+00:00

Girls are rude and unfriendly where I live.... unless of course you’re an unhealthy douche who has nothing to offer.... it’s bizarre

freakstate · 2019-02-11T23:05:30+00:00

I wouldn't take it personally. This is probably an unpopular opinion considering the nature of this subreddit but not all girls want to chat to guys on a night out, maybe they've got boyfriends/husbands etc or perhaps youre just not their type, plus if the intention was to 'bring them home' then maybe that intention was apparent from the start and wasn't there bag. Some (most?) girls do just go out to have fun with friends, not to get hit on after all. Did you try to talk to anyone else or was twice the entire effort from the night? Low effort yields low results maybe? Honestly wouldnt give people witnessing you getting rejected as a big deal, at least you tried and that's what counts.

ImJustSo · 2019-02-11T23:32:12+00:00

I mean, is it even a rejection, if she's instantly a bitch?

I think about it like this: I am never going to escalate from my normal to huge dick upon someone I've just met. So if someone can instantly do that, would I ever touch them? Would I ever go seek a woman like that and decide to love her? Or a man? Would I want to know a man like that and become best friends with him? Would I want to stick my dick in that girl and risk getting her pregnant and being stuck with her in my life for the rest of a child's life?

Fuck no, I wouldn't. So if that bitch can turn around and say, "No" to an introduction then I wouldn't even want her meeting a child of mine, let alone make a child with me.

I wouldn't call that a rejection, I'd call that the most timely information I could find out from a potential partner.

Cuz ya know what? Some chicks are sneaky. They'll get into your life and their entire existence up until then has been elite training for how to fuck up your life. They are masters of mind fuckery and heart breakery.

Best to avoid shit women, because I am not a shit man. I wouldn't ever shit on someone like that, so I couldn't possibly ever be rejected by someone that would shit on someone like that. We can just assume it's mutual here. I will handle those behaviors my way, she handled my behavior her way, and hers is way worse than mine. Bad behavior gets ignored, good behavior doesn't.

Tl;dr Bitch, bye.

2019-02-14T03:14:13+00:00

Yes MAN. I love this post.

I’ve been brutally rejected several times in the past too. Normally happens at night but I’ve had one or two day approaches where the girl was rude too. When you approach in large numbers it just bound to happen every now and then.

But I always use those brutal rejections as fuel. Whenever I am nervous to approach a girl I think back to those hard rejections and think “well I handled that .. I know I can handle rejection. I am confident I can handle rejections so there’s nothing to be scared off” and off I go.

For any guy who is terrified of rejection and has never had a brutal one. I dare you to approach so many girls that it happens to you. Because once it does and you learn you can take it, you become extremely confident and mentally tough.

Hard rejections + looking at those hard rejections from a positive angle = insane confidence

SpacePip · 2019-02-11T10:51:18+00:00

maybe you havent looksmaxed yet?

paxterrania · 2019-02-11T18:01:39+00:00

Be thankful for brutal rejections, they save time. Imagine she had been in a good mood, and you'd have dated her. You would have wasted weeks or months to find out what a person she is. But like that, you can just react "hey, thanks for the big red warning light".

steveblahhh · 2019-02-11T18:22:05+00:00

"You should really work on your manners, princess" With a smile. Then leave.

2019-02-11T16:24:46+00:00

Those aren't brutal. When someone rejects me, I immediately take that energy to the next girl and make it more fun. My worst rejection would be rejection by a slap....hasn't happened yet.

wont_give_no_kreddit · 2019-02-11T11:12:00+00:00

In ten years you will have mastered the game enough to be giving the same shit back to the bitches....its quite fun to totally devastate an uppity and nasty cunt that just pulled that sort of shit on a guy, and send her squalling from the bar.

hernanemartinez · 2019-02-11T17:52:18+00:00

Buddy, that’s not even “level 1” rejection. When I readed your title I thought it was far worse.

You should try coming to Argentina.

plxxx · 2019-02-11T11:42:59+00:00

My favourite way to deal with rude girls is: “oh sorry I thought I was talking a lady. My mistake.”

Title	Got rejected brutally
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	414
Comments	167
Date	February 11, 2019 9:40 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/apemsf/got_rejected_brutally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/got-rejected-brutally.1462212 https://theredarchive.com/post/1462212

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