How introverts flirt?

Kind-Standard-536 · 2022-01-29T17:52:45+00:00

I’m pretty damn introverted but introverted doesn’t mean you’re anti-social, socially awkward, or any type of term that implies being socially inept. If you’re shy, I suggest exposing yourself to as much conversation as possible. I got a job at a restaurant when I was younger and that helped bc it forces you to talk, learn small talk, learn to be quick etc. I personally flirt by teasing and being playful, never lacked quick wit so I had that going for me but used to be shy to new interactions. Literally just expose yourself to it all, say hi to everyone wether you find them attractive or not. That’s a good start

The-Bull89 · 2022-01-29T17:46:26+00:00

Make eye contact for 0.12 seconds and never look back.

froze_gold · 2022-01-29T19:16:49+00:00

Introvert to introvert, here's my advice:

Introverts keep thoughts to themselves primarily, but will often share those thoughts and ideas with people they trust.

Therefore, when it comes to strangers the best practice an introvert can get for socializing (and flirting) is by directing their focus on the people they interact with. See, it's actually charming to take interest in people and ask questions about them (You know how to verbalize, don't ya?)

But - introverts might not be so keen to actually feel interest in others, with the exception of people they find attractive. Feelings alone shouldn't be relied on, it's about taking action in small steps. Next time you say "Hi" to a stranger, include the line "How are you?" Following that. And in small steps you increase the load - eye contact, more questions, a compliment, etc.

yournansabricky · 2022-01-29T17:27:35+00:00

We don’t.

ellz_wann_ded · 2022-01-29T20:45:24+00:00

Through astral projection

Head-Combination-299 · 2022-01-29T18:00:06+00:00

By learning about the person and taking initiative to do things they like

TheRiverOfDyx · 2022-01-29T21:20:56+00:00

We don’t, or we realize Introversion works against us, so we use “extroverted” tactics. I’m an introvert, but on the outside to others I’m an extrovert. It is what it is. Can’t win the game without shedding some skin

Alarming-Unit-7214 · 2022-01-29T20:08:14+00:00

introverted doesn't equal shy. All my introverted friends after graduating uni and having worked for the past 5+ years can hold a conversation fine because they're forced to talk with coworkers in the office every day. They just prefer staying in one their free days more often than going out.

Commercial_Habit_923 · 2022-01-29T20:10:18+00:00

As an introvert. Most of my experiences with women have been through mutual friends and stuff. Much easier to open up in that environment

Expelleddux · 2022-01-30T07:06:38+00:00

With lots of alcohol. You still might need social skills tho.

norwegiandoggo · 2022-01-29T17:53:01+00:00

Same as everyone else

singleguy79 · 2022-01-29T19:25:09+00:00

Hey....

Internal voice: Say something else but what? Damnit now they're staring. Abort abort!

viantros · 2022-01-29T20:04:00+00:00

Telepathically

humptyone · 2022-01-29T21:54:52+00:00

Being alone is great. Guarentee there are no stupid games.

yelalikethesun · 2022-01-30T01:20:59+00:00

Lots and lots of eye contact. Non verbal cues.

Amediath · 2022-01-30T12:01:39+00:00

The guy I'm seeing started to actually talk to me after months of coming across each other, it progressed to talking about books, then I gave him my number (it was cute when he said I could give him my email too if I want) when he actually prepared me a reading list to send it. I'm extroverted but I adapted to his way and started sending him memes and music and we ended up dating lol.

Melinored · 2022-01-29T17:52:18+00:00

Why So Serious 🃏 ?

Due_Ad_6202 · 2022-01-29T23:54:41+00:00

I don't even approach anymore. I've approached thousands and thousands of women never did i once take one home. Im honestly a good looking guy, and have learned confidence, but still it's not enough.

Crazy-Reason-5087 · 2022-01-29T17:48:44+00:00

Dude stop with this introvert extrovert bullshit, it’s all in your head go out with a good mood warm up to people and build confidence

spicylittlelady · 2022-01-30T04:08:09+00:00

Current boyfriend is an introvert. He’s actually relatively confident. He just doesn’t talk much when he doesn’t feel like it. His introversion hasn’t impacted him to come off as socially awkward. Just a bit more recluse than others.

He doesn’t really flirt. Just says things as he believes to be true. He’s very matter-of-fact when he speaks. Won’t open up about his feelings but you know through his actions that he cares.

elizabethkoh98 · 2022-01-30T06:35:57+00:00

Alcohol

Dnt808 · 2022-01-30T12:49:21+00:00

They don't.

garconip · 2022-01-30T15:17:37+00:00

Best flirting is no flirting.

No-Department6252 · 2022-01-29T19:21:31+00:00

For me I simply focus on myself and work in the things in my control like being as physically fit as possible. When I go to a club or bar someone see this and are instantly attracted because of my physical aesthetics and dominance. I try to her eye candy so what I say doesn’t matter. This works for m me because I don’t have to worry about what I say anymore I simply appeal to her primal nature.

MysteriousBrush9505 · 2022-01-29T17:54:50+00:00

Sending the introversion to the hell and saying do The shyness to fuckoff. Create confidence, be strong mentally, and play the game so many times that u be a pro

Live-Ad-6309 · 2022-01-29T19:01:24+00:00

They don't. They are eternally single until they learn to stop acting introverted.

No-Bodybuilder2767 · 2022-01-29T20:06:23+00:00

you don’t. you get nervous and chicken out.

ArjunVermaReddit · 2022-01-29T20:22:09+00:00

So Ive had limited experience with plenty of failure but I'll tell you anyway. Some stuff learned from movies of course, smile a lot while talking, a couple of witty lines etc. and some stuff emulating dudes from school. Whenever I tried to flirt, I'd fail, Whenever I didn't I'd kinda pass but I stuck too hard to the innocent-coy routine and didn't close. The biggest problem, I dont know if its just introversion or the tension, is that no matter how insanely well the conversation goes with a girl I meet for the first time, like she'd be straight up hitting on me the whole time, I never ask for her number or ANYTHING! I can open quite well, I'll even do things like stand around quietly listening in on conversations and chiming in just the minimal amount and that works at getting girls to continue a conversation with me, but no number exchange at the end, its just a "twas nice to meet you" lol. I have learnt though that asking for an instagram ID has become the new number exchanging and see people do it a lot more

So once when I was 19 I was trying to act all cool telling her how naughty I was, fell pretty flat though cause I asked her for a kiss at the end of the date, in the sense I said with some confidence "lets make out" in her ear and went for it, got dodged, then started negotiating, didnt work out. However I did have some small victories in planting quick kisses while doing beach walks and stuff. Cut to couple years later, Im just telling her some lame-ass forgettable stuff about my views on things and she's literally nudging her tits in front of me. I didnt know how to react ofc. Ive generally noticed girls notice me when Im just being myself, mainly when Im chatting up a friend and laughing so maybe I have "natural" charm but not "applied" charm lol, its weird. Many years later I have matched on Bumble, hooked up straight up through touch game first date, after which I was smooth as butter cause she was already reeled in, just saying corny shit talking about her body, making grand promises, exaggerations and jokes about how I'll tell her dad I'm banging his daughter, you know the drill

artofmajic · 2022-01-29T22:49:23+00:00

I went to the computer lab at my college and there was this beautiful girl I wanted to talk to but was afraid to speak to in front of everyone and I also watch a lot of YouTube public pranks so I thought of something interesting and different and wrote on a book paper that she’s beautiful and passed it to her. She said aww thank u and we’ve never spoke after that nor have I saw her again till a yr later we’re in the same class in college and talked because we’ve remembered that encounter and became friends. she then told said that that was that was the sweetest thing anyones ever did and her favorite memory of me. Unfortunately I never got a chance to date her tho 🥲

RedDeadHybrid · 2022-01-30T04:46:35+00:00

I’m introverted and socially awkward. But I compensate for it, with the fact I’m funny. Women have told me, it’s a quality they admire about me.

MeSelOh · 2022-01-29T18:45:18+00:00

Jbvbb

alabrasa240 · 2022-01-29T20:36:19+00:00

It depends on what you mean by introverted.

Introverts by definition find social interactions very draining. I'm very shy as a person at first and I'm not the most loud speaking person in the room as many PUA types are, but I love meeting and talking to people.

All it takes is a short introduction or question and then I'll keep going. I look for eye contact and go with a shy "hi" sometimes and honestly I feel like women can be receptive to that. Not every woman wants a loud-mouthed guy so that's just my two cents

SGrosch · 2022-01-29T23:56:02+00:00

Online dating.

Or walking up to someone you find attractive and telling them “I like you”= has worked well for me.

-source. I’m an introverted ISTJ and a mens dating coaching for 15 years.

NattyGains4Life · 2022-01-29T19:24:58+00:00

You become an extrovert

DarkoLeonhardt · 2022-01-29T20:00:56+00:00

That’s the neat part, you don’t

Popular-Rate3182 · 2022-01-29T21:38:29+00:00

It’s in the eyes son

HomeBarista · 2022-01-29T21:48:43+00:00

By the title, I thought this was r/jokes

MentalCelOmega · 2022-01-30T04:39:45+00:00

How do introverts flirt? They don't.

iluvreddit · 2022-01-30T05:13:58+00:00

Alcohol

mishaxz · 2022-01-29T19:54:35+00:00

They drink first

Potential_Swimming83 · 2022-01-29T18:41:52+00:00

I just act socially awkward. It does mean that people might think I’m flirting when I’m not though.

Aaron_77777 · 2022-01-29T19:12:32+00:00

There is a difference between being an introvert and being shy.

GhoulChaser · 2022-01-29T20:34:03+00:00

Buying things for people instead of genuinely showing them we are interested. We (I) do it through materialistic things.

thatman18 · 2022-01-29T20:50:32+00:00

I would say I’m very introverted, specifically INTJ. Once I got to college I really began to put myself in situations that required socialization, I joined a lot of different organizations and I got a job as a waiter. At first it was hard going out of my way to speak to strangers, but the more I did it, the easier it became. I feel as though I can talk to anyone now without getting nervous or always running out of things to say, before I used to always overthink my conversations. Once I start speaking to someone, ESPECIALLY a girl I find attractive, I get in this crazy zone where the words literally just flow out of my mouth and it feels like I’m just saying all the right things.

I’m still an introvert, I just forced myself to be very sociable and outgoing. At first it was uncomfortable, but now it’s like second nature

bb54321 · 2022-01-29T21:04:49+00:00

A introvert without social anxiety flirts like any other person, it just makes them tired far quicker.

A introvert with social anxiety avoids most social situations, flirting included.

ShadowFoxxx15 · 2022-01-29T21:11:07+00:00

I am a very introverted person and 9 times out of 10 women that approach me with random questions or needing help and that is a woman's way of showing interest. For the most part if a woman asks you more than 2 or 3 questions she is interested in you and you could probably ask them out without any issues/flakes. But for me your best bet is to joke with women when interacting with them. Then you can tell who likes you. The ones that like you will giggle and entertain your jokes. If she doesnt like you though she may blow you off like you dont exist which is typical female behavior when you dont spark any attraction

EmpRupus · 2022-01-29T21:13:23+00:00

I generally don't do the "cold approach" - ie - walk up to a random stranger in the bar and start casual small-talk. Generally there are specific hobby/interest groups that I am a part of, or I go to specific events about stuff I am knowledgeable about or interested in.

And then, if I get along well with someone, I ask for meeting up for coffee later or one-on-one.

You need to understand that introverts really shine when we are in our own element. And you are more likely to find another introvert person, who loves deeply connecting around similar angles, and not just superficial small-talk and pick-up lines. You need to enjoy the flirting part yourself, and don't merely see that as a means to an end.

alienCarpet14 · 2022-01-29T21:23:02+00:00

what's flirting?

Czekraft · 2022-01-29T21:34:35+00:00

You go to a retail store where the woman is forced to listen to you and smile in hopes you buy something. After trying on multiple things and getting complimented on how good you look, she'll laugh at just about any joke you say. As you check out, remark how excellent her customer service was.

Return product next day.

K_Sleight · 2022-01-29T21:54:36+00:00

I make jewelry. If I'm interested in someone I'll kinda show off. Sometimes I give a girl I like a gift.

Equivalent_Speaker26 · 2022-01-29T22:39:03+00:00

Progressive desensitization (in regards to socializing)

Rainmaker0102 · 2022-01-29T22:52:08+00:00

As someone who is borderline extrovert/introvert I feel I can share my experience here.

I'm generally awkward af, and some people find it funny, others not. That's not my main point, but a preface.

What I usually do is make banter from conversation. A good imagination serves you well here. Just have fun with it.

pistachio02 · 2022-01-29T22:53:43+00:00

We’re mysterious and cool so we’re good

Indian_Cap · 2022-01-29T23:00:24+00:00

We don’t

j_tothemoon · 2022-01-29T23:11:16+00:00

bold of you to assume we flirt

Mrcopeland25 · 2022-01-29T23:13:09+00:00

i’m heavy introvert here. i’m usually soft spoken and laid back but when i speak i talk with swagger in my tone and i don’t say to much cause i don’t over think it. but i do ask a question. i make sexual reference from stories in my life and if they fuck with me ight but if not ight.

i also like to think of it as i’m going out to find someone as introverted as me to an extent so we can be introverts together.

ThePhunkyPhantom13 · 2022-01-29T23:14:50+00:00

TheBookOfSeil · 2022-01-29T23:23:21+00:00

Depends on how we feel. Most of the time, we don't flirt in ways that anyone would notice. We just look and keep walking. Maybe even look twice.

Gurnoor_1 · 2022-01-30T00:09:49+00:00

first admit that you are nervous and then try taking risks in conversation slowly

ahr90 · 2022-01-30T01:05:11+00:00

Be open to any conversation. Active listening 👂

Equivalent_Current_3 · 2022-01-30T01:09:22+00:00

I personally pretend to be extroverted. Doesnt work since girls can see right through it.

Woujo · 2022-01-30T01:10:12+00:00

There is no such thing as an introvert. Stop crippling yourself with these self-imposed labels.

jjboy91 · 2022-01-30T01:29:14+00:00

Go travel for a few months 😉

BunningsM8 · 2022-01-30T01:39:29+00:00

I did theatre improv and study business negotiations at uni. So how I flirt has been a culmination of these two skills

When an actor learns to improvise dialogue on the spot we are first taught two techniques. Firstly to always keep the scene going, and this is drilled by person a with an open ended question like “did you pass the test today” person b responds “yes and did you remember your calculator”. You see naturally how it flows. Secondly it’s to never block someone. Ising the same scenario person a says “did you take the test” and person b says “no” they’ve blocked their offer. Blocking causes tension, not the sexual kind and that’s how flirting escalates is by building tensions. So blocking an offer from a woman, and the scene can’t progress.

Note this is also vice versa. You need to have strong offers and accept when she blocks. But also recognise if you have weak offers and build off hers.

Also as introverts we have a keen sense to read the room. Think of this as understanding the flow and tension. Like when someone drops a bottle the room goes quiet. This can be useful for making an offer when flirting by noting the tension, but also being sure you match your vibe ro the room.

When it comes to intent, you need to have a game plan. You wouldn’t want to have an appraisal meeting and not steer the conversation into increasing your salary.

This is where you will find what works and doesn’t. Once you practice going with the flow well enough you will understand which tonality, choice of words gets success and you build off from there. But for now practice on listening to what comes to mind first, reading the tension and avoid blocking.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2022-01-30T03:20:21+00:00

They whisper

random_question4123 · 2022-01-30T03:47:11+00:00

Introverted people, I personally feel, should be better with their words because they talk when they have something to say. They don’t want the mic on them just for the sake of hearing themselves talk.

userisauser · 2022-01-30T03:53:53+00:00

This is an oxymoron. Of you want to get a girl, you have to make a move. That means you have to cultivate some type of extroversion.

RareGeometry · 2022-01-30T06:55:57+00:00

Just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you’re socially inept or incapable of normal conversation or interaction. It just means that you tend to prefer your own company or one on one with a single person to recharge and that social situations with more than one other person can be really draining and exhausting for you.

I really hate the misconstrued idea that introverted means socially crippled or completely antisocial.

I’m strongly introverted but I am a great conversationalist and lecturer/presenter to a crowd. I absolutely talk to random strangers all the time, about anything. My husband is introverted as well, he’s just stubborn and hates people so he does everything to avoid conversation. However, when he wants it, he’s extremely polite and an amazing conversationalist and that’s how he hooked me.

Gold-Ad-2488 · 2022-01-30T10:12:23+00:00

We can flirt?🤯

puma085 · 2022-01-30T10:19:56+00:00

Introvert guy here. In the past i did not flirt the classic way. I just used my environment to meet new people and new women. And when woman get to know me better it worked quite well. I am not a total loser with the females but also not total hero. AndI really to adapt to a bit more offensive flirting that is totall against my nature. If i do not do that my future will be ready dry. I am 36 now and single now. My old ways of meeting women via considence does not work anymore. Even if new people enter our circle they are either taken already or not interested into new stuff due their backage. The older you get the harder it gets for rather introverted guy.

When younger it is not total downside to be a introvert. If you are not super creepy there might be still some woman that like you. Not as much as a more offensive guy would get of course but still enough to keep you busy and happy. But it is never to early to try at least to get a bit more offensive and daring to learn to deal with woman.

I think is easier to learn that when you are younger. For me as a older dude it will take some time to adjust. But I am motivated to do so. Life is always about improvement after all.

Chiliboy420 · 2022-01-30T16:04:48+00:00

Didn't know they did.

mosAilee · 2022-01-30T17:10:38+00:00

Fucking awkwardly.

Individual_Wash_30 · 2022-01-30T17:33:23+00:00

There is a course name introvert dating playbook Helped much

MK2718 · 2022-01-30T20:20:20+00:00

Socializing Tips for Introverts

Title	How introverts flirt?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	220
Comments	136
Date	January 29, 2022 5:23 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sfmv09/how_introverts_flirt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-introverts-flirt.1268002 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268002

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