How would an alpha confront the guy your girl cheated on you with? Advice from Seddit?

DrunkAtTheWedding · 2012-11-22T15:11:05+00:00

I've never gotten this sort of attitude. Your girlfriend is at fault, why the fuck are you mad at him? He might not have even known about you, even if he did he has no allegiance to you anyhow, unlike your girlfriend. The best thing you can do just walk by and realize it was your girlfriend who did this to you and not him direct you anger towards her.

Want to handle it like a boss? Act like a grown man. Don't hold a grudge against the guy, he did you a favor and rid you of an enormous waste of time and energy.

Drop off her shit and tell her she blew it and to never contact you again. Done and over with, move on with your life and realize you dodged a bullet.

confidentrisk · 2012-11-22T15:27:09+00:00

Throw out some negs, do a little push/pull and kino.

Kidding, ignore it. Not worth your time.

RedPosterboard · 2012-11-22T15:10:21+00:00

Don't confront him in the first place. Ignore him and leave. It's been unpleasant enough for you already, hasn't it? No need to swim around in the mud any more than you must. He's a guy like any other... If a girl wants to cheat on her BF, she WILL cheat on him, and if it hadn't been him, it would have been another guy. I hate to sound heartless, since I understand your pain completely (I'm dealing with something similar at the moment), but that's how the world works, for better or for worse. I never understood why people get angry with the lover, when it's the girlfriend who is more to blame.

But analyse and learn from this... what did your girlfriend not get out of this relationship with you that that other guy gave her? Excitement? Romance? More understanding? A stronger connection? Figure this out and change it so you avoid ending up in a similar situation again.

maestroni · 2012-11-22T15:58:18+00:00

Give him a hug. You're now officially Eskimo brothers!

residentassociate · 2012-11-22T17:36:11+00:00

You wanna be alpha? Drop the girl and be friends with the guy. She'd be like what the fuck and you just laugh that shit off

smithedition · 2012-11-22T15:16:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AverageJoe74 · 2012-11-22T16:55:31+00:00

Why care at all? The most alpha thing to do is to dump your gf and move on. Let bygones be bygones.

fluidkarma · 2012-11-22T18:57:32+00:00

Don't confront him. It's not his fault. Don't confront your girl, just tell her it's over, don't contact her again.

The alpha thing to do is realize the fault always lies with yourself...

kingbadger · 2012-11-22T15:25:16+00:00

I'm coming from this situation. 6 years on the same girl and she left me for her boss. Honestly I'm kind of glad it happened, and he's going to be in for a hoot of a time with all of her bullshit once the honeymoon phase is over, and that will be the sweetest revenge of all.

Or he won't, maybe they're perfect for each other. No idea really because I haven't spoken to either of them since the event and it's not something I am actively worried about. It's not my problem. I just know that my life has been getting steadily better since she got out of it.

EDIT:

If I bumped into the dude at a bar or something I would probably offer to buy him a drink. The guy saved my life.

tazunemono · 2012-11-22T17:42:44+00:00

I think you meant to ask, "how would an adult handle this situation?"

jk147 · 2012-11-22T17:48:46+00:00

Te least alpha thing would be staying with a girl after she cheated on you. The most? Act like it doesn't matter while it kills you inside.

Kiwi_on_my_boots · 2012-11-22T18:04:43+00:00

It would be far more impressive if you completely ignored the both of them, but most especially your ex. It'll drive her crazy to think that her sleeping with another guy doesn't mean a thing to you. It'll give her the impression that she's disposable, while you on the other hand is quite the catch. She'll regret ever messing it up with you.

Even if she did mean a lot to you, don't show it. I don't see the point in confronting the other guy.. Just unnecessary drama.

fireitup622 · 2012-11-22T14:18:52+00:00

If you and your girlfriend are no longer together, the most alpha thing to do would be put it behind you and move on (just ignore the guy, even if he somehow is associated with you or your group).

If you are your girlfriend are still together (you're already in the beta category so it really doesn't make a difference) then you also do nothing unless he's still trying to maintain contact with her.

scrat55 · 2012-11-22T14:10:45+00:00

I think he should be more worried about how he'd confront you.

TubbyandthePoo-Bah · 2012-11-22T15:50:17+00:00

Over a beer.

superchibisan2 · 2012-11-22T17:48:27+00:00

A real Alpha would confront the woman, not the man.

ManhattanT5 · 2012-11-22T18:47:38+00:00

It's not some random dude's responsibility to safeguard or respect your relationship. That rests on you and your SO. She dropped the ball, so you should focus your feelings on her if you must.

If she really respected you, she wouldn't have done it. Good thing you found out now rather than even later. Logically speaking, the guy did you more of a favor than a disservice.

hip2thelou · 2012-11-22T14:39:14+00:00

You don't confront him. You wait until he has a girlfriend and you fuck her.

glassuser · 2012-11-22T16:49:04+00:00

Why acknowledge worthless people at all? Your time is more valuable than that.

LieBaron · 2012-11-22T17:38:26+00:00

I get you, I do, but... The guy's not at fault. Your ex is. While it sucks utter and complete balls, the only thing to do is... Let it go. That might take time, but until you do, you won't be right in the head. There is really no way such a confrontation won't turn out bad.

If what you want to do is confront the guy, then... Write him a letter and tear it up, or vent here (there are plenty of guys willing to listen.) That might not be 'alpha' enough for you, but it's damn sure the healthiest way to cope. there is no closure to be had from him, which is what I suspect you really want.

PS quit worrying about being alpha.

Rookiepua12 · 2012-11-22T19:32:49+00:00

you girlfriend is the one at fault, not him. I never get why people think this way

JudiciousJay · 2012-11-22T19:38:53+00:00

An Alpha would move on with his life and stop trying to find inner peace by attacking a person your own girl CHOSE to cheat on you with. To me the attitude you're showing always struck me as possessive, like you own her and another man came and took your object from you as opposed to the sentient woman you're dating purposely choosing to not be faithful to you. He made no commitment to you, she did and getting butthurt and trying to take it out on him won't change that edit: If you literally go around wondering how you can alpha situations chances are you're reall a beta trying to compensate

Fiach_Dubh · 2012-11-22T20:29:44+00:00

he wouldn't need to.

Whisper · 2012-11-23T01:48:42+00:00

how would an alpha confront that situation?

Thank him. Thank him for showing you what a lying, conniving whore you were in a relationship with.

Then dump the lying, conniving whore.

She broke her agreement with you. It's her fault. He didn't break an agreement with you, because he didn't have one to break. Monogamy is a contract between two people, and she broke it.

JamesFarthington · 2012-11-23T05:53:11+00:00

"She's all yours champ"

centurijon · 2012-11-22T17:41:38+00:00

No.

Your relationship is between you and her, not him and her. She's the one at fault, so dump the bitch. You don't have to pretend to be cool with the guy, but confronting him is not the "alpha" thing to do, it's the douchebag thing to do.

Modifier: If you knew him before she cheated, then I absolutely would confront him. A real man doesn't sleep with a girl he knows is with someone else.

mathrix · 2012-11-22T17:59:18+00:00

Buy him a drink. Give him a heads up of the shit he's in for.

emmawatsonsbf · 2012-11-22T19:07:08+00:00

Sleep with 10 other girls.

dakru · 2012-11-22T19:38:52+00:00

It was her who cheated on you, not him. She's the one who's responsible. The most alpha way to deal with her is to completely put her out of your life; she's not worth your time.

meeelting · 2012-11-22T19:42:45+00:00

Why would you confront him? Whats important is you and your girlfriend, you need to dump her. Now. Dump her. Immediatly. Then move on, shes trash.

throwaway1234xxx · 2012-11-22T19:51:29+00:00

He would dump the girlfriend and focus on living a good life.

Plenty of fish in the sea, and no reason to get stressed or upset over something you had no control over (namely your girlfriend's actions).

Elano22 · 2012-11-22T20:34:00+00:00

You don't. Throw her shit out and tell her have fun sucking his dick for some crack. You don't need to confront the guy cause it was mostly your soon to be ex girl's fault. Trying to be all "alpha" with the other guy will just start a physical confrontation. Hopefully that girl doesn't make your thinking about girls go down the tubes so you can actually connect and have conversation with different women in the future.

give_him_room_hooper · 2012-11-22T20:52:00+00:00

As if you don't give a fuck. You're better off now, and he did you a favor. If you act angry, jealous or otherwise upset, that is decidedly not alpha. There's an episode of Mad Men where Don is at a restaurant and runs into his ex with her new husband. Like that. Gentlemenly, polite, but slightly curt and not overly nice.

irvinestrangler · 2012-11-22T21:46:18+00:00

How do you handle this like an alpha?

Move the fuck on and stop acting like a bitch.

Also, we know you're not alpha but that's okay.

Adamskinater · 2012-11-22T21:51:44+00:00

Like a man. If you really have to confront him, sit down with him, have a beer, talk the situation over. If you're no longer with this girl, which is what I would think should be the case for an Alpha, you can focus on her loose morals and propensity for this sort of thing.

Getting physical wouldn't prove anything even if you beat him to a bloody pulp. If you feel the need to destroy him, do it psychologically. Make him personally invested in your feelings by establishing trust and then make him feel like absolute shit.

TheUltimateBeta · 2012-11-23T01:36:46+00:00

It's time for you to put on your confidence hat and approach him like a man. If you show outward signs of aggression, he will see it as the showboating move that it is.

See if you can get his phone number (ask your girl) and text him to determine his availability. If you both have access to a modern sms style client like LINE or What's App, you can diffuse the situation with a friendly emoticon. There's one with a teddy bear that looks a bit frustrated. But use your own judgement.

Set up a time for the two of you to meet, perhaps over tea. Make notes if you need to, but make you go over the ways this has affected your self esteem as well as your relationship. You may want to extol the virtues of monogamy to this chap. But in short, don't think of this as a confrontation. This man may be acting act due to his own emotional trauma. It's unlikely you'll uncover this in your sit down but if you see some signs that he's been hurt emotionally you might want to recommend a good therapist.

SPECTREagent · 2012-11-23T04:07:19+00:00

Someone who can't keep their word is not worth your time. Forget about her.

Someone who has to target a taken girl because they can't interact with girls without a way in, is not worth your time. Forget about him.

You're lucky because now you know and don't need to waste time or energy interacting with either.

nsgafc · 2012-11-23T04:40:15+00:00

He wouldn't.

pararin · 2012-11-23T09:08:55+00:00

One of my friends told me that he will probably start dating my most recent ex and that he might've had more or less to do with our break-up.

I made him dinner.

pballa4eva · 2012-11-23T14:07:18+00:00

"Exclude physical violence"

In that situation (been there done that) that phrase is nowhere in my vocabulary.

Nexdominus · 2012-11-23T19:32:33+00:00

Alpha wouldn't confront because he doesn't allow anyone else's action to affect him, he effects the actions of everyone else.

I understand your anger of course. I would be angry too.

I suggest ignoring, or making some joke about it as if it means nothing to you and leave him and her hanging with nothing to say.

If she cheated on you she'll cheat on him.

SupALupRT · 2012-11-24T00:14:23+00:00

You don't confront, he can have that cheating skeeze good riddance.

eddkov · 2012-11-26T03:21:05+00:00

Smile and shake his hand, preferable in front of your ex, and then proceed to hit on the hottest bitch in the place

rib-bit · 2012-11-22T18:42:49+00:00

I'd ask him if he likes how my cock tastes...

IarrLegend · 2012-11-22T18:16:13+00:00

Dump that bitch an buy that guy a drink, probably just did you the biggest favor ever.

TeddyV · 2012-11-22T22:08:36+00:00

"Glad you like sloppy seconds, you'll fit in the first time because I already streched her out, anyhow expect to get cheated on in the future. Take care and goodluck in all of your future endevours"

Recondog762 · 2012-11-22T15:23:59+00:00

IMHO excluding physical violence also excludes "the most alpha course of action". MOST ALPHA being the operative term.

ejpusa · 2012-11-24T09:15:39+00:00

Read Sex at Dawn. Monogamy is un/natural. What your GF did is really no big deal. It's really natural. It's just sex, it's no big deal, really it's not. But for sure, read that book.

michaellane · 2012-11-22T16:33:28+00:00

The ONLY "alpha" thing to do...is to beat him. Period. No talking. Just beat.

JasonUncensored · 2012-11-22T14:59:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

GreyWolf107 · 2012-11-25T05:51:14+00:00

Everyone who thinks the cheater shouldn't get his ass kicked is a pussy and a beta. If I saw this guy after work I would not hesitate to fuck him up.

Title	How would an alpha confront the guy your girl cheated on you with? Advice from Seddit?
Author	smithedition
Upvotes	30
Comments	121
Date	November 22, 2012 2:05 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/13mc6i/how_would_an_alpha_confront_the_guy_your_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-would-an-alpha-confront-the-guy-your-girl.1343140 https://theredarchive.com/post/1343140

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