Kino from a girl's perspective

RobotGymnast · 2011-03-13T00:12:46+00:00

From the conversation, it sounds like Chuck doesn't escalate properly. I've known people who are just casually touchy, and nobody's ever complained about them.

kolumbia · 2011-03-13T04:51:45+00:00

Two points, and this is all you need to know:

1. It's really about congruency. Basically, if you have this guy who is kino-ing like mad, but the rest of his demeanor and lifestlye seems incongruent with someone who would be comfortable kino-ing, then girls pick up on this. Girls would have no objection to someone using lots of kino if they backed it up with a killer attitude, fun vibes, confidence, lots of social proof, etc. But if he just kinos without anything to back it up, it WILL come across weird and WILL set off their alarm bells. In short, girls are not weirded out by kino - they're weirded out by men who don't quite seem 100% genuine or comfortable with what they're doing - aka incongruency. In fact, this is probably one of the fundamentals of pickup. If a guy doesn't make 'sense' to a girl as a complete package, then it will come across to them as creepy or strange. So remember to sell your personality hard so that ANYTHING you do doesn't even get questioned - it's just part of the vibrant, confident you that does whatever he wants because he's a fucking BAMF.

2. It's really also about qualification and timing. This I could go into detail more later, but again - lots of guys have problems with qualifying girls. If a girl doesn't feel like she deserves your affection (because you haven't given her time to demonstrate why SHE is high value), then she will react badly to physical advances. Picture her mindset: you've been disqualifying her all night, tossing negs, basically chipping away at this HB's value so that she wants to earn back your good graces. Suddenly you start holding her and touching her. Wait, what? You never even made her do anything to prove why she was worthy. Remember, it's push-PULL. So, qualify her, make her EARN your kino; REWARD her for stuff she does right, even it's just you making her answer stupid playful questions or do you little favors. Build her back up at the right moments. Girls aren't turned on by feeling like guys are higher value than them. They're turned on by EARNING BACK THAT GUY.

Enthusizer · 2011-03-13T00:32:28+00:00

he's doing overt kino when he should be doing incidental kino.

HeIsMyPossum · 2011-03-13T08:39:09+00:00

Not to be Johnny Raincloud, but I think it's really dumb that everyone here just passes it off saying he wasn't doing it right.

By all the comments here, I've established this:

1) Use kino, if it works, you used kino.

2) Use kino, if it didn't work, you fucked it up.

Nothing is ever going to be perfect. In some situations, kino just flat out will not work. Stop trying to defend these "ideals" that Seddit has just because it didn't work once.

Every time I come on here and read FRs or anything else like this that went badly, everyone says it's because they messed something up. Maybe it's due to the fact that there wasn't a success rate in the first place. Seduction isn't perfect. Kino isn't everything. There are times where you can't win. I hate that Seddit always jumps on everyone's case when things don't go well.

Some girls don't like to be touched in certain ways, and no amount of "escalating" is going to change that. I swear, around Seddit, girls are nothing more than video games. If you level up properly and macro the hell out of it, you're going to win no matter what. If something doesn't go perfect, you obviously messed something up.

Life doesn't work that way.

I'm really tired of this.

/rant

EDIT: Before somebody comments, yes, I realized that this particular guy (Chuck) might have messed up by overtly hitting on every girl at the party, but I'm speaking on principle here.

joazito · 2011-03-13T00:33:50+00:00

Funny. As a guy, this is exactly what I think when I see some other guy touching a girl. Or me, I get terribly focused on a guy who touches me. It feels so unnatural. Doesn't mean it is, but it freaks me out. On the other hand, it does force some kind of connection.

Chuck is probably overdoing it, but it is still better than to not touch at all me thinks.

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-03-13T00:24:32+00:00

Chuck needs to work on his game. He's not doing it right.

TideNinja · 2011-03-13T00:47:25+00:00

The main point of objection seems to be on the lingering touch. When in the wrong circumstance (when there's no reason to touch them such as being in a crowd or while doing something physical) the lingering touch is rather creepy, especially in an unusual place like the knee. However, it does make an impression, as Girl 2 said. If Chuck had toned it down a bit i'm sure the impression would have been more positive.

Also, its easy to fall into a trap thinking that all girls are essentially the same. This is hardly the case, and what one girl will love when it comes to kino another will be loathe. I have known a couple of girls who hate hugs for instance, and put up with them because their friends like it so much. Others seem to be one drink away from wrapping their arms around anything that moves. This is why calibration is so important.

marbles12 · 2011-03-13T02:50:23+00:00

Well dude, everyone who's starts out doing this will go through the "creppy" phase. You can't go from AFC to Casanova overnight. These things take time and a lot of the time you're gonna look like the overly touchy guy. He'll need time to gauge his kino escalation.

On the other hand, having feedback could be very helpful. "You're touching too much" should suffice for now. But you can't learn without experiencing.

2011-03-13T16:37:41+00:00

The only reason it's "creepy" is because Chuck is not attractive.

ItsJustMyOpinion · 2011-03-13T02:20:51+00:00

Step one: lighty touch arm while making a point, or a quick hand on hip to get someone's attention. No lingering.

Step two: touching hands, playful pushing, light and brief touching of knee, touching hip while talking.

Step three: thighs, neck, resting hand on knee, back, or hip for longer periods of time. Face touching/grooming.

Step four: 2nd base

2011-03-13T03:29:24+00:00

He's not doing it right. That's the problem, not that he's doing it.

MonkeySteriods · 2011-03-13T03:56:32+00:00

In summary it sounds like two things: 1. Girls separate verbal communication from physical communication 2. Kino makes a lasting impression over verbal communication

As far as the drama I would ignore it... they're gossiping for each other, and you're not involved in the conversation.

much_ado · 2011-03-13T00:51:37+00:00

I think you need to stop listening to what girls say about this kind of thing.

One or both of them has probably blown Chuck.

frogma · 2011-03-13T00:46:41+00:00

Chuck sounds a lot like me when I get too drunk. Doesn't mean kino's bad or anything, you just can't overdo it. I mean you can and have plenty of success, Chuck's just not doing it right (especially the knee thing, that's a little weird).

Bobsutan · 2011-03-13T05:57:43+00:00

Sounds like Chuck isn't calibrated and needs more experience learning how to escalate properly.

I strongly suggest Vin Dicarlo's kino escalation ladder as a good primer on kino. It's not perfect, but it's a great resource for newbies.

fourtyfour · 2011-03-13T20:21:27+00:00

My (female) perspective: if I don't know you and you leave your hand on a part of me that feels intimate (hip, lower back, etc) my first reaction is to be really weirded out/run/leave.

If I've been sitting talking to a guy and he brushes my arm, or 'accidentally' brushes my leg, I'm more inclined to believe that he's interested, and not in a creepy sort of way.

Lilybloomus · 2011-03-13T01:56:10+00:00

This subreddit has me wanting to now punch in the face any guy who accidentally brushes past me. "HE WAS TRYING TO SEDUCE ME! I KNOW HE WAS!!!!"

on_the_dl · 2011-03-13T04:19:48+00:00

Kino works best when you follow these 3 simple rules:

Be handsome.
Be attractive.
Don't be unattractive.

vegaeccentric · 2011-03-13T21:24:38+00:00

Just to give another girl's perspective, kino that is more intimate than just a high-five or a pat on the shoulder is...well it makes some of us uncomforable (I say some because there is no way I could possibly speak for the whole gender). I have never appreciated a guy I just met touching the small of my back (for example), not even if I actually found him attractive. It puts me on edge, because I'm not used to people invading my personal space like that; especially people I don't know well. On the flipside, it certainly leaves an impression (just perhaps not the one you want).

So guys, try not to focus too much on Kino. It is just as likely to hurt you as it is to help you.

Almsothere · 2011-03-13T01:44:05+00:00

i bet all of them would do chuck if he made a movie...

monkmonkmonk · 2011-03-14T04:00:55+00:00

CHUCK DOESN'T USE ENOUGH JARGON LIKE ALL THE FAGGOTS IN THIS THREAD DO.

coinpurse · 2011-03-13T16:54:01+00:00

This thread is making me rage.

Title	Kino from a girl's perspective
Author	FoxAndHound
Upvotes	136
Comments	92
Date	March 13, 2011 12:08 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/g2u2q/kino_from_a_girls_perspective/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/kino-from-a-girls-perspective.1316400 https://theredarchive.com/post/1316400

Comments