Over heard a guy say this today while he was on the phone. It was brilliant.

30vanquish · 2012-02-23T10:38:44+00:00

"What made _____" is a good open-ended layout for asking questions.

"Why" sometimes can come off as offensive. "Why did you become an artist?" can seem offending whereas, "What made you decide to become an artist?" has a better ring to it.

McG4rn4gle · 2012-02-24T02:01:44+00:00

A: How was your day? B: It was good. A: That's great! What made it good?

Boom - that's goin' in the toolbelt.

cawkpot · 2012-02-23T20:46:10+00:00

I already do it nonchalantly so it doesn't seem like I'm probing. Yesterday, I went to Subway and approached the counter. I had my phone in my hand and was looking down, kind of fiddling with it. The girl behind the counter said, "Hey, How are you?"

"Good and yourself?"

"I'm good" I replied

"Why's that?" I said without hesitation, still looking at my phone.

"..." Was her reply. I looked up to make eye contact with her and gave a small smile.

It was almost as if I snapped her out of the "customer service" role and back into being a person.

Shit was cash.

dablac · 2012-02-23T12:33:22+00:00

This is a good article on this topic.

2012-02-23T12:30:36+00:00

I've always did this because I get bored of small talk REALLY fast. Talking about emotions and experiences is actually interesting.

Which in turn lead me to think about how I feel and how I could articulate myself more instead of a simple 'good' which invites other people to conversation thread.

2012-02-23T21:54:40+00:00

I've been saying "what made your day so good?" for a long time, it really opens people up. I'm a naturally inquisitive person by nature anyway, and I love hearing about people's days, so I say it even if I'm just being friendly. Its a great conversational tool, and women love it, they love to talk about their great days, and they love to be asked about them.

Deadpoint · 2012-02-23T14:45:28+00:00

"How can I make it better?"

remarkedvial · 2012-02-23T14:18:47+00:00

Consider expanding to something like "what made it a good day, did someone say/do something that made you laugh/smile?" This has the added potential of getting her to smile or laugh.

ShamwowTseDung · 2012-02-23T15:34:19+00:00

This is great, another person discovers WWWWWH.

Enjoy the gifts of communication my friend!

_do_ob_ · 2012-02-23T18:01:36+00:00

From personal experience, one easy way to confuse people is to do this routine:

"Hi, how are you?"
"Doing good."
"Why?"

Most people at this point become confused. Think about it, why in your quote did he have to make an emphasis on it ("No, I'm asking why was your day good..."). It's because the person he was talking to was confused.

If you want to confuse people even more replace "Why?" in that routine by "That's a good choice."

Now I think there is "good" and "bad" confusion. If instead of asking "How are you?" you say something like "Is there sun in your heart today?" people are confused at first, but happy about it and they can follow up with the routine they are comfortable with.

throbbingmanhood · 2012-07-16T07:25:57+00:00

Me: How was your day?
Her: Good.
Me: Why was it good?
Her: Ummm... I don't know.

Fuck. Now what?

SenorSpicyBeans · 2012-02-23T18:49:18+00:00

I do a variation of this at work all the time. I have to ask 80-100 people per day "How are you doing today?" every single shift. Whenever I get some half-hearted, bullshit "oh, good..." or "just fine...", I call them on it.

Something like, "Well Jesus, you sound so depressed about it. Has today just been that bad for you?", which elicits a smile and conversation probably 85% of the time.

midnight_toker22 · 2012-02-23T16:37:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jewdai · 2012-02-23T16:30:45+00:00

Any Psychologist will tell you WHY questions are terrible to ask, they dont get much detail out of people.

How did you

What made you

What did you

how did you feel

wolfie1010 · 2012-02-23T15:53:09+00:00

Welcome to regular human conversation.

healxph0enix · 2012-02-23T10:21:09+00:00

haha that is great

Apparently caffeine gives you epiphanies. Keep on drinking that

lezzit · 2012-02-23T12:29:02+00:00

I usually say something along those lines if the person says "okay" or something less enthusiastic, but I guess it would also work if they say "good"!

ogSPLICE · 2012-02-23T14:23:48+00:00

This is good, why didnt I think of this. When I try with the girl at work, I get "Oh hey whats up, hows your day going so far?" HER - "good...." all the time..and then im like uhhhhhh wellllllllll.

silverscreemer · 2012-02-23T18:25:37+00:00

Sounds like something I would do. I'm very inquisitive.

thatguy52 · 2012-02-23T21:22:39+00:00

The word why has been a huge part of my sales game for years. When somebody gives u a bullshit objection/reason they're not gonna buy, don't attack and overcome, simply ask why. People really aren't prepared for this simple question and more often than not they instantly become engaged in the conversation and will speak honestly. Same concept applies to seduction.

If u chain too many together it can get awkward quickly though.

fluentinsilence · 2012-02-24T00:51:00+00:00

I heard this from someone else but I think it's universally useful.

Playing the high/low game. You ask someone what the high and low points of their day were and they would obviously do the same for you and then you both delve deeper on that. It sounds so simple, but it opens up avenues for conversation, connecting/understanding another person, etc.

tardwash · 2012-02-24T04:51:27+00:00

I use something similar with any girl I'm hanging out with all the time. I say "how has your day been?" (or something similar). If they don't respond with 100% amazing omg, I just say " tell me something great that happened to you today." 99% of the time, they think of something really positive to convey (you reframe based on this). It's just a really simple way to make girls stop feeling sorry for themselves.

rensfriend · 2012-02-23T09:30:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

24hrbeerdelivery · 2012-02-23T14:00:17+00:00

I've used something similar when talking to people. The "hi, how are you" "ok/good/fine" has always seemed like an automated response.

"How are you?"

"Ok"

"No, how is your life today?"

Anyway, thats just me.

Themataaa · 2012-03-02T15:17:28+00:00

It's actually a pretty deep psychological question if you think about it.

What the christ.

AveofSpades · 2012-02-24T04:13:30+00:00

Socrates figured that shit hundreds of years ago. Kudos on learning it. Better late than never.

ChangingMyLife · 2012-02-23T16:16:05+00:00

I've had this realization too, before. If you really do think about it, anything can be turned around in to question form. It is just a matter of picking the sentence apart, finding left out details that could be expanded upon, and then going from there.

testmypatience · 2012-02-23T22:31:51+00:00

Huge fucking breakthough for me to try. I use "Why" a lot. I should start using "What made you ask?" or something similar like OPs post.

WolfInTheField · 2012-02-23T13:23:12+00:00

Reminds me of gambler's old idea for comfort-building; Motives & Emotions. Ask about those instead of just asking about the bare proceedings.

ablefolk · 2012-02-23T17:15:47+00:00

I just ask them what the favorite part of their day was, it takes them to a happy place. Learn how to take people to happy places and they may take you to a happy place

pulsatingbrain · 2012-02-23T19:51:14+00:00

Thats simple and brilliant. I think its just the line that can help me get going into a conversation.

Joeygforce · 2012-02-23T20:11:46+00:00

Thank you very much lately I've been trying to think of ways to make the other person want to be more engaging and this fits with that nicely.

throwingstars · 2012-02-24T01:19:32+00:00

I always ask why! lol

PinkZeppelins · 2012-02-24T03:21:20+00:00

This is what is called an open ended question. You'll get more than just a yes or no. At work, it's part of my job to keep the customer engaged as they wait. Merely asking if their day was good or not will shorten the conversation and make the awkward silence time feel like an eternity.

ccm596 · 2012-02-24T07:37:15+00:00

I thought everyone knew this, because I did, and I subconsciously assume that if I know something, everyone does, haha. But awesome! Congrats, hope your effective use of this will ultimately lead you to good places.

kendranot · 2012-02-24T19:19:03+00:00

well don't you just seem adorable

VLDigital · 2012-02-24T21:25:38+00:00

Brilliant.So good, it feels like a "cheat code".

dirtmaster · 2012-02-24T04:08:03+00:00

Its more of just asking a open ended question. Makes sure every question you ask cant be answered with a yes or no. Simple yet effective.

2012-03-02T15:37:52+00:00

Genuinely curious to know where OP falls on the autism spectrum.

atheistjubu · 2012-02-23T16:22:25+00:00

Sometimes I badger people into giving me a real answers. I say, "Nonsense, that's the fake answer everyone gives, give me a REAL one." It's fun to do this with barristas.

My inspiration came from this article:

The next time you ask someone how their day is going, expect, no, DEMAND a response. Don't settle for good. Demand the truth. Make them admit that they're having a shitty day, and then do your best to make it worse.

EDIT: Yes, don't go doing this without calibration, but I worked in McDonald's for 3 years in high school and summers in college so I know how much standing behind a counter pretending to care sucks.

lurkerinmyheart · 2012-02-23T14:01:46+00:00

Are you kidding me? This is like the basics of good communication, say stuff that you mean and ask benevolent questions.

GoP-Demon · 2012-02-23T16:52:15+00:00

lol. I do this to one of my asshole friends.

He's like your phone sucks, that sucks, thats stupid.

Why....?

2012-02-23T16:11:21+00:00

Lol fucking noobs

Lewan72 · 2012-07-27T02:20:08+00:00

Another favorite. "Why just good? Why not great?"

Title	Over heard a guy say this today while he was on the phone. It was brilliant.
Author	Dwight22
Upvotes	832
Comments	128
Date	February 23, 2012 9:09 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q2awy/over_heard_a_guy_say_this_today_while_he_was_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/over-heard-a-guy-say-this-today-while-he-was-on.1328796 https://theredarchive.com/post/1328796

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