What’s up with dating apps?

Kindly-Draw2901 · 2024-10-16T17:08:06+00:00

Unfortunately the vast majority of women you match with on online dating do not take it seriously/only want attention/want to promote their socials. So you should expect a pretty low conversion rate when it comes to actually getting women out on dates. I’ve done but it take ALOT of matches/numbers

Practical-Macaroon38 · 2024-10-16T17:22:07+00:00

Real life is the way to go.

Dating apps should be a back-up that you forget that you even have.

If you’re checking each app every 5 minutes to see if you got a new like or new match & it’s causing you to feel anxious or bad, then take a break from that shit.

They favor paying customers & women way more than men, even if you’re good looking & wealthy.

Kind-Standard-536 · 2024-10-16T17:13:08+00:00

So just side with the mode that gets you the best results. No need to be deterministic about OLD apps, it’s a dying social dynamic

jjboy91 · 2024-10-16T17:52:12+00:00

Why do you even bother with dating apps if you have success IRL, I don't get it

Brunoclement123 · 2024-10-16T20:59:25+00:00

Hoeflation

KoleSekor · 2024-10-16T18:26:26+00:00

It's almost like humans evolved over thousands of generations to feel actual attraction in person and not through a smartphone.

Ghost_of_Chrisanova · 2024-10-16T17:23:32+00:00

Hoe Math of Boobtube, has given tremendously beneficial explanations & very detailed illustrations, to help explain this phenomenon.

F the dating apps.

awgsm10 · 2024-10-16T18:10:49+00:00

Dating apps block your profile from being shown unless you pay, although from experience I’m convinced most of the profiles shown are inactive, real life does not reflect dating apps. Sure, you’ll have to go through rejections, but it will build your character and make you better than the rest.

Jaspjay · 2024-10-16T19:19:38+00:00

Attractive girls don't generally need dating apps so you're left with the dregs. That said, from what I've seen, the calibre of men on them isn't much better. I think in my few months of heavy use of dating apps I matched with one genuine 9/10. It was a sea of 3s and 4s with the occasional 5 or 6.

Sandvicheater · 2024-10-16T20:38:35+00:00

Because off the hhhhuugggeee gender ratio inbalance. From what I understand there's like 15 dudes for every 1 legitimate girl on any dating website. So your odds from the starting gate before any other factors like looks or money is considered is little over 6% chance of success. Now you only swipe on hot girls like every other dude on Tinder and you see just how much of a slot machine crapshoot it becomes statistically

With all do respect if you're that hot and rich as OP claims he is, he should be slaying pussy in real life rather than the awkward texting song and dance you have to do with these tinder chicks over the course of several days.

fatal1tyltf · 2024-10-16T20:58:07+00:00

In my experience when dating apps start to get me less results i find more success irl and when irl gets me less results dating apps goes up like some weird market dynamic

MysteryLiezer · 2024-10-16T17:06:36+00:00

How is it confusing?

Every single women on dating apps ALSO exist in real life.

Not every women who exists in real life ALSO has a profile on dating apps.

Likewise, I would also assume that more women have an Instagram/Snapchat than a profile on Tinder/Bumble.

Where’s the confusion?

Star__boy · 2024-10-16T18:36:58+00:00

After COVID most of the desirable women now get approached IRL and don’t need to bother to date online. They meet people via their hobbies/interests and friendship groups. The ones currently online are the ones that can’t..go figure

puma085 · 2024-10-17T06:21:06+00:00

If dating apps where the only way to meet women I would be still a virgin. Dating apps never worked for me. And despite being a men I cannot get attracted to women via pictures only. Ok thats only half true. There are some women that could blow me away via picuture only and but you only find these girls in a penthouse or playbay magazine.. The normal women you find on the dating apps do have the necessary charisma to impress me.

I do ok in the real world and that is enough for me. I am in my 30s already so I can live oustide the social me dia realm. I also think that there is somthing fishy with the search algorythm of the apps. Or at least there i something wrong with tinder.

Back home in Austria I got ignored by the women online there. Since living in LA for work related further eduction I get more likes but from women that are not my type. I know LA is much much bigger than my Austrian home but this cannot be the only explenation for the big difference in the level of attention.

throwawaysunflower77 · 2024-10-16T18:55:15+00:00

Just git gud

But seriously, just like how you need game for real life, you need to learn game for online dating. A lot of skills translate between them, but you still need to learn how to play.

My personal story is that I started out getting zero quality matches the first month or 2 of "trying". Then I completely submersed myself in the study and really tried hard to change my tactics, and after just 30/40 days, I started seeing significant results. Now I can pretty regularly get 1-3 new dates a week, depending primarily on how hard I want to try. As this is not a quick activity to do, you have to put in the work.

I think some people would want to disqualify my results because I am tall (6'2"), but I think it's clear that this isn't the case as my OLD improvement occurred over a very specific and constrained time span of just about 30-40 days. And I definitely did not get taller or have a change in career during that.

I am also not what I'd call a physically attractive looking person. I'm definitely a bit below average in face, with a drooping eyelid on one eye, not fair skin, Asian lol, and underweight at 170lbs (big improvement for me, but a work in progress). I don't even dress that well, it's just kind of average everyday wear with like joggers and a well fitting standard Old Navy T-shirt.

I don't have high hopes this comment will be received well, but maybe someone will listen. I've been trying to help my friends here lately, but most are pretty unwilling, so I thought I'd direct some energy here. I have finally helped one friend score his first online date in his life, so that's a huge milestone! We're both in our early 30s, so it's really never too late to get started either. I feel that most people here are in their 20s, so there's plenty of time to turn your life around, don't give up yet.

poly_nerdy_panda · 2024-10-16T17:46:31+00:00

your photos probably suck check playing with fire on youtube he gives a lot of good advice on photos

DAH517 · 2024-10-16T17:16:29+00:00

Right there with ya brother. I been tryna stay off the apps for this skewed reason

Kofuku- · 2024-10-16T18:14:10+00:00

The last 50 something straight matches I had were all scammers/catfish profiles looking to get me off the app and onto WhatsApp.

Fearless_Isopod_3562 · 2024-10-16T17:17:55+00:00

How do you meet girls on snap/insta. Are these people you connected irl or you just slide in cold.

As for dating apps, you’ll have to improve your photos and improve your text game. Many resources on this subreddit.

bannedcanceled · 2024-10-16T17:57:58+00:00

Cutch22 · 2024-10-17T03:50:43+00:00

Literally everyone is more success in real life unless you have some kind of social or anxiety disorder.

Hour_One_9504 · 2024-10-17T12:04:37+00:00

Ikr. I get more "pulls" when im out and in person.

appolonysian · 2024-10-16T19:12:12+00:00

Most women are there for a validation fix while they chase the guy they’re currently hung up on. There are so many factors working against you that are outside of your control on apps that it’s best used as a passive backup option. Prioritize in person meeting and don’t let the rejection rate on apps get to you - it doesn’t reflect your actual attractiveness.

Outside_Bowler8148 · 2024-10-16T18:02:01+00:00

Ur pics likely aren’t good

billoverbeck00 · 2024-10-16T19:01:41+00:00

Dating apps are a thing of the past literally. They were golden from 2017-2021 I’ve had ton of success up until 2022 but after that it’s like a shift happened

MeleeBroLoL · 2024-10-16T21:58:52+00:00

Fuck dating apps fr. They're just there to prey and profit off people's lonlieness and social anxiety. The quality of people on them is so low it's not even worth the effort imo

Obi2 · 2024-10-16T23:33:56+00:00

Dating apps are horrid. Dating apps as a man are appallingly abominable.

From what I have heard, their golden years were pre 2018 or so. Now it's all just monetized gambling for the most part.

R4bbl3r · 2024-10-17T01:10:41+00:00

I have talked to some women who have bumble and tender and they get 50 to 100 likes A day. The only reason they noticed my profile was random happenstance.

djhood54 · 2024-10-17T01:11:16+00:00

It’s just OF and crypto for $ex on most dating apps now

Fuzzietomato · 2024-10-17T01:30:36+00:00

Wish a had the confidence to meet people at coffee shops or something like that, bars have never been my scene though.

fancybroom3 · 2024-10-17T01:46:53+00:00

The last couple years that I used the apps, it seemed like people were using them more for their own validation and not so much for “dating.” In the last 5 years or so it’s become damn near impossible to use them for their intended purpose from what I’ve seen.

TheMasterCharles · 2024-10-17T02:41:16+00:00

For me hinge has been great. I get 0 action on tinder or bumble but a lot off hinge. 🤷‍♂️

Sargasso234 · 2024-10-17T03:05:07+00:00

I can totally relate to the mixed results on dating apps. I’ll get matches on Tinder, chat with someone, and things seem to be going fine—until they bring up WhatsApp. It’s not everyone, but when it happens, it's like a switch flips. I don't use it, mostly because none of my friends or family communicate that way, and it’s just never been necessary for me.

But for some reason, once I mention I don’t have WhatsApp, it feels like I’ve committed some kind of dating sin. The conversation dies off. It’s baffling. I mean, I’m out here thinking we’re vibing, but suddenly not having this one app is the dealbreaker? It’s frustrating to say the least.

I’ve been leaning towards meeting people in more old-school ways, like bars or other places where you can just have a real conversation without worrying about whether or not you have the right app installed. At least then, I know it's based on a genuine connection, not some app checkbox.

ConcernMinute9608 · 2024-10-17T14:43:39+00:00

Your profile is should be designed to sell yourself. A business can have the best quality, consistency, and efficiency but if it doesn’t market itself then nobody will give it a chance. I bet it’s your profile

MindsetsForDating · 2024-10-17T22:36:48+00:00

You can display your personality more in person than on any app. On dating apps, women are flooded with matches and messages, which can sometimes be overwhelming. I recommend optimizing your pictures and bio on dating apps, but I would focus more on meeting women in real life.

LoneWolfCamper · 2024-10-23T03:56:54+00:00

Nah these apps are frustrating as hell. I'm on bumble/Facebook dating. I get matches but it never goes anywhere. Either they never message me while on bumble, or if they do, it's a dry as 1-2 work message and replies. 2 days ago i match with a girl on Facebook dating and She sends me a wave. I replied with a actual message to get a conversation going. Got a reply like 15 hours later. No big deal. I so replied and pretty much asked if she'd wanted to meet in public, possibly dinner or something else so we could actually talk in person instead via phone. She replied and said she would like that and asked if I wanted her number or snapchat so we could set something up. I give her my number & snapchat. She sent me a text, I replied to her text and never got replied to. Never even got opened at that lol. The fuck was the point of texting me if you weren't even interested.

Outrageous-Error-137 · 2024-10-16T17:50:06+00:00

If you get success at bars and coffee shops then what the hell are you complaining for?

heartrob22 · 2024-10-16T18:04:52+00:00

It's better to have a real life experience than virtual one

Reliant_Self7298 · 2024-10-16T18:13:43+00:00

I think the problem with dating apps is the lack of emotional connection, that’s why in person game is often more effective.

Trust me bro I get it, we grind and get our money up, have a car, your own place etc. the reality is you can’t convince a girl to like you by being logical. These are things we should strive for nonetheless.

Also most dating apps are 60/40 or even 70/30 male to female, terrible ratio.

MrMattradio · 2024-10-16T19:08:35+00:00

I'm married now so all done with the apps but in my experience women viewed matches with way more skepticism than when I'd chat someone up in real life.

It takes a lot more effort to talk to a total stranger than swiping. IMO just focus on real life, old school ways.

For the fellas, when I was on them, I noticed big swings in my dopamine up and crashing down. I ended up deleting them way before I got off the market. I'd sign up and get a ton of matches then would bottom out and dopamine would plummet. You'll feel better in the long run moving on from those wretched apps.

actstunt · 2024-10-16T21:36:04+00:00

I'm on the same boat as you, I have good income, I'm handsome, have nice conversation topics, a variety of hobbies, good jokes and sense of humour, adventurous, I match with several bios by several beautiful girls and have a fair share of matches but then you get the girls that rarely answer, even when you share phones, girls that answer every so often, girls that don't know what they want, etcetera.

And then some girls that are so invested in you but I've discovered they have not forgoten their exes and just want to make them jealous lol, or are batshit crazy despite them claiming they're mentally stable.

FiftyNereids · 2024-10-16T22:05:16+00:00

Same boat as you, I’m a top 10% earner along with a multitude of talents and positive traits. I get decent number of matches but like you most don’t go anywhere.

Im probably gonna hang up on the apps soon because it’s actually contributed to personal negative world views. I also think that the pool of women who frequent apps tend to be a certain type of individual, contrast that to women who don’t use apps.

You’re basically exposing yourself to the worst and bottom of the barrel, ie. Women who will tend to be more attention seeking, narcissistic, and entitled. I’ve been on the apps too long and it’s affected my own mental health in a negative way. And like you I’ve always had better opportunity and outcomes IRL.

Thinking I’m going to get off the apps ASAP.

sanb865 · 2024-10-17T01:38:51+00:00

You already know the answer you are here to brag.

nordik1 · 2024-10-16T21:32:23+00:00

You need good photos and understand prompt/bio design. There's strategy to it that makes it work well once you "get it"

On the guys side it's not as simple as just posting some decent photos from your camera roll and making a few genuine prompts

Once you nail it dating apps will produce way more warm leads than cold approach

Title	What’s up with dating apps?
Author	PixelSteel
Upvotes	158
Comments	76
Date	October 16, 2024 5:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1g54bds/whats_up_with_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-up-with-dating-apps.1533583 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533583

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