Which ways do guys normally find a girlfriend?

Insaneflirt_max · 2020-01-28T06:01:09+00:00

Normal people find their significant other through friends and work relations, I don't say it, science says it.

But that's kinda lame to wait for someone to introduce you isn't it? Cold approach is the way.

Austinmk1000 · 2020-01-28T05:47:45+00:00

I'm with you man, I think im pretty average looking(not handsome but not ugly) and tried to put myself out there but wound up with the same conclusion

Merunit · 2020-01-28T06:34:32+00:00

Try Latin dancing. If you are good looking (I’m not saying super handsome, just average-good) and fit, you would be in a crazy demand as a dance partner. It’s a great way to meet people, make friends, and many ppl meet their partners. And it seems there tend to be waaaaaay more girls at our dance parties:) If I was a guy, I would totally do Latin dancing, as early as possible. Great fun.

loveopenly · 2020-01-28T06:36:35+00:00

When you say nothing happens. Well something should be happening.

When you approach, you ask them out.

Either you get a yes, or you get a no.

Dating is a process, with steps and milestones. You aren't going to get very far if you aren't systematic on figuring out where your sticking points are. Saying nothing happens isn't helping you. Being specific is what helps.

This is my issue. I do this. That happens. I've noticed a problem. What do you do differently?

If you don't take this approach, and you do any old thing, then the outcome will most likely be any old thing. Worse if you just repeat the same mistakes over and over without reflection or awareness.

I can tell you how you do it with little effort. You hire a mentor or expert. You want the fast route then find someone who can do it and follow their words. But little effort means massive courage, and there is no room for fear if you want to go fast.

jujigame · 2020-01-28T11:11:00+00:00

In my group, it's basically ALL through work

This used to confuse me a lot - especially as someone who's only ever gotten laid from complete cold approach on girls in bars and has never worked with girls (all my jobs have been manual labour working with dudes)

I had a few friends who always seemed to be getting laid from girls at work. I was jealous. One guy in particular was banging tonnes of hot girls way younger than him. He's a good looking dude, but i'd never really seen him get laid with cold approach. I couldn't kind of 'picture' how it might look, though. Not in a work environment and with girls you kind of know. Just imagine it being way different to cold approaching a stranger

Did they 'run game'?.

Did they walk up to the new girl at work and be like 'Hey, you're hot!' and run 'direct game'? Did they walk up to the new girl and be like ''Who lies more. Men or women?!!'' haha. And then use some pushpull lines on her like mysterymethod or something?

After bugging friends and investigating, what I learnt was what nearly always happened was what happens to kids in the school playground.

Basically, at some point, the girl decides that she thinks the guy is hot and tells her female friends/co-workers. Word gets around the office. The guy now knows she's attracted. (he usually hasn't even 'ran game' on her. He's basically just been 'friendly'/normal. She probably just like the look of him opr whatever or just thought he was 'nice') - They all go out for 'works drinks' and then, on one of theses nights she has a few drinks and starts to flirt with him and then, since they both know that they are attracted too each other and there's no 'risk' of rejeciton, they just get together

And sometimes this leads too a lrelationship rather than just a hookup

VDKay · 2020-01-28T08:59:55+00:00

Average guys, putting in minimal effort end up with low-value girlfriends. Fact. Just wait around to see for yourself how they are gonna end up.

Going out and not being approached by girls happens to 99% of guys, not only lame ones. Even the good-looking guys who get approached usually have shitty characters or are otherwise uninteresting and end up breaking up in bad ways..

I don't care if you are sick of approaching. Women and other guys don't care either. It is like saying that you wanna become a top-rated football player but you are sick of training and practice games. Suit yourself. Keep daydreaming

KingRemu · 2020-01-28T10:17:44+00:00

Read Models by Mark Manson. I'm half way through and it has opened my eyes. Way better than all the PUA stuff if you're looking for a meaningful relationship.

Tutsks · 2020-01-28T08:02:48+00:00

Aight, I'm gonna be a bit harsh, but you need to hear this:

It doesn't matter where "average guys" meet girls, furthermore, there is no real "ending up with a nice girl" with little effort.

As to how it happens naturally?

Exactly the way you are doing it: People who want to find other people go and try to find other people, until they succeed.

It sounds like, if anything, the problem you have is that you are trying too hard, and well, trying too hard puts pressure on things and scares girls off.

The reason people say "you'll find it when you aren't looking" is not that partners magically show up from the aether, but rather, that most guys, when trying to find someone, come across as meth addicts needing a hit, and that pushes most girls away.

So, they have better luck when just "being themselves" and not trying, since that way they interact with girls without pressure.

If you want to know how average people, how most people do it, its simple:

Be charismatic, friendly, get a good reputation, this makes other people try to set you up, say good things about you, and gets you in contact with girls. It wont get you metric tons of them, but at least a few, over time.

Other than that, the only thing there is is what you are doing:

Smash your face against the wall until you figure it out.

Good luck!

Fletch_311 · 2020-01-28T08:04:15+00:00

Your approaching way to much for a beginner. Chill out and spread it, don’t use that line on girls thou ;)

Drewskie888 · 2020-01-28T09:43:34+00:00

Because we put in little effort? As soon as the women smells your desperation she puts you into a certain type of guy only wanting sex. Everything should flow organically because over thinking every situation will cause stress and anxiety to all the precious types out there. When you aren't trying to find a girlfriend is usually when you will find one. Also when you are practicing this stuff and thinking about it, the thought process does get quicker and makes it second nature. Don't give up and just keep putting yourself out there. But make sure to chill the fuck out everything won't happen in a day. Sometime the best hook ups have happens from weeks of build up.

usedtimecapsule · 2020-01-28T15:34:52+00:00

I think we have the same issue. It’s no that we can’t find girls, it’s that we’re not escalating when we have the chance. It’s hard for me because I’ve never had a girlfriend so maybe that’s your reason too.

xbluexhawkx · 2020-01-28T07:41:56+00:00

I’ve had success off going to bars/parties and tinder.

Best way for quality girls would probably be from friends, I’ve met cool girls this way.

But if you’re semi attractive and have good pics I’d try tinder, something you can put little to no time into and get good results depending on your looks.

yosef33 · 2020-01-28T09:13:10+00:00

This can sound lame but you can try going on language apps where you meet people of the opposite gender that are interested in getting to know people and learning a language with them. Most of the time you forget about the language part and move to whatsapp after a week and start building a friendship. Sure, it might be long distance, but you got yourself a friend atleast which can turn into something bigger.

cpcallen · 2020-01-28T08:51:47+00:00

The secrets to my success: 1) Learn to dance (swing, in my case, but any partner dance popular with people your own age is good). 2) Wait ten years. Spend the time practicing dancing and chatting with people one meets. Don't expect to get any dates out of it. 3) Spend another ten years practicing dancing, but this time make a point of flirting with and asking out anyone interesting. Mostly get turned down politely. 4) Get asked out. 5) Say yes. 6) Repeat, until you have to start saying no due to too many suitors.

brian-d-brain · 2020-01-28T09:30:22+00:00

I have met my exes: by approaching, at work, at school, in the club, through friends, and more situations.

Yes, girls are in general more passive but not always. But my advice is to not care about that at all. It is your own actions.

I see plenty of times guys talk to girls for hours without anything happening. Why? Because she perceives it as a conversation between buddies.

Girls can easily think that you are not interested in them. That you just see them as just another person.

So make that conversation a bit more hot. Let her do the talking but you set the tone for the conversation.

Just think about it how different the conversation will be if you ask her what her favorite brand of washing powder is versus if she has ever done something she would never tell her parents.

Trust me, talking about secret stuff can get very sexy very easily. Just do not tell about any of your exes!!!

TrustNothing · 2020-01-28T08:40:19+00:00

Be yourself but put yourself way out there, fearless, chase what you want without shame.

Don't be disrespectful.

Forget the rest and all the made up rules, guidelines and tips.

where? everywhere, anywhere, see a girl you want to talk to? find a reason and go do it?

I've literally walked up to a girl and been like, Hey, I love your shoes and I needed a reason to talk to you, how are you doing today I'm blah blah...like for real.

Just be real and confident.

tHeIglO0H · 2020-01-28T09:10:20+00:00

Before we start.. you're 100% sure you're not gay?

speaklastthinkfirst · 2020-01-28T06:38:26+00:00

These days it’s all online my friend. Tinder bumble pof hinge happn get after it.

aletamale · 2020-01-28T07:24:21+00:00

Perhaps you are going for women with little in common with you. Conversation topics are also important.

beastboi27 · 2020-01-28T08:10:57+00:00

Dating just seems harder then ever for guys. I haven't been on a date in years and girls think I'm "handsome"...might as well be quasimodo lol. My social circle really sucks.

gotmahswagon · 2020-01-28T08:18:13+00:00

F here, i dont care about looks though but if you have amazing/unique weird dorky personality maybe ill be drawn into. Just be yourself i guess

TomHopeless · 2020-01-28T08:38:26+00:00

Timing, pure luck!

fiddlycat · 2020-01-28T08:46:32+00:00

Gal here and to be frank, I talk to pretty much anybody. If the conversation is decent and I don't feel like 'being cornered' and a 'date' of the platonic or romantic type just kind of casually slipped into the conversation I rarely say no. The only exceptions are when I know the guy is clearly interested but I'm not. In which case, I'll still see them but just never one-on-one. Otherwise, I can even go and spend a day with a platonic friend, if their partners are not bothered by it.

fabmarques21 · 2020-01-28T09:08:05+00:00

internet lol

martinscourt4life · 2020-01-28T09:23:37+00:00

All my life I have problems with taking to women and going out on a date with them. I would like to meet someone great and go out with her I would like to know how to talk to women and start to date with a good woman..

breyzipp · 2020-01-28T09:35:55+00:00

Dating websites, Tinder, salsa parties in my case.

STD_Tyler · 2020-01-28T10:52:54+00:00

If you approach a lot and nothing happens, then don't only work on your game. Work on your appearance too, dress better fashionable clothes, get a better haircut, wear cologne, lose weight, build muscles..etc, Because attractive guys don't need to approach a shit ton to get a GF... And don't quit like a bitch..

amrit-1997 · 2020-01-28T15:11:28+00:00

You could try get your friends to set up with someone there know, ask them to match you

blockgoblin · 2020-01-28T16:16:09+00:00

I arrived early to an event so I cold approached my (now) girlfriend and her best friend on a bench, made a few jokes, giggled at her very posh french accent, gave her my number, and then went to meet my mates in the bar across the street.

Cold approach is very unlike me (she doesn't believe it for one second) but I knew if I didn't say something I'd regret it.

blockgoblin · 2020-01-28T16:16:15+00:00

I arrived early to an event so I cold approached my (now) girlfriend and her best friend on a bench, made a few jokes, giggled at her very posh french accent, gave her my number, and then went to meet my mates in the bar across the street.

Cold approach is very unlike me (she doesn't believe it for one second) but I knew if I didn't say something I'd regret it.

blockgoblin · 2020-01-28T16:17:02+00:00

I arrived early to an event so I cold approached my (now) girlfriend and her best friend on a bench, made a few jokes, giggled at her very posh french accent, gave her my number, and then went to meet my mates in the bar across the street.

Cold approach is very unlike me (she doesn't believe it for one second) but I knew if I didn't say something I'd regret it.

LonelySpawn · 2020-01-28T16:46:55+00:00

That’s the problem, you are approaching and thinking I your head “I wish this leads to something”.

Don’t rush it, when a girl really likes you and wants to be with you, she will invite you to go out sometimes or even start conversation, clearly 99% of women at parties are not looking for a relationship, it can happen, yes sometimes, but it’s harder to happen than you think.

Off of my 3 relationships, only 1 was cold approaching. A cashier at Uni, we traded smiles and I approached to her after a week of smiles.

The time will come, but try to approach to girls in a more friendly manner, not wanting to fuck them or have a relationship with them.

Kevinclimbstrees · 2020-01-28T16:46:58+00:00

Go to a country bar dance lessons night. Tons of good lookin women, usually in shape, learning to dance just like you.

LonelySpawn · 2020-01-28T16:47:44+00:00

That’s the problem, you are approaching and thinking I your head “I wish this leads to something”.

Don’t rush it, when a girl really likes you and wants to be with you, she will invite you to go out sometimes or even start conversation, clearly 99% of women at parties are not looking for a relationship, it can happen, yes sometimes, but it’s harder to happen than you think.

Off of my 3 relationships, only 1 was cold approaching. A cashier at Uni, we traded smiles and I approached to her after a week of smiles.

The time will come, but try to approach to girls in a more friendly manner, not wanting to fuck them or have a relationship with them.

Awareness193 · 2020-01-28T16:51:13+00:00

I tell you the best way, don't approach just anyone because you feel like you want a girlfriend. Let go of that thinking pattern.

Approach the girls you really tend to feel comfortable around. Sometimes I met girls at the gym who may look like a 10 or a 5, it doesn't matter as soon as I can talk to her with no filter, my relationship with her is going to be effortless. Don't put effort into someone who isn't right for you, you just end up faking a good relationship.