Oddly specific but soooooo spot on

Nightingale1820 · 2020-05-16T13:01:49+00:00

[deleted]

dzgata · 2020-05-16T10:11:45+00:00

I had an insecure rat laugh at me and tell me I sucked at singing. He said this when I was a teenager so I really internalized it. It took hundreds of people to tell me otherwise and literally praise me to get over that. His comment affected me so much that I even stopped singing in the shower or while walking around the house for over a year. Don’t let stank ass rat testicles put you down ladies.

CandyCaneQueenz · 2020-05-16T11:53:08+00:00

First guy I dated. Insulted my art style... at an art show where I made the paper. Then he insulted me my art style again

Guess whose afraid of drawing

featherflowers · 2020-05-16T14:02:35+00:00

I never once heard this ex sing. We were in the car, heading to a nice dinner with friends, gorgeous weather, and a sing I like comes on and I start singing. He says "what band sings this song?" Me "it's..." Ex, cutting me off, "let them sing it"

A more recent ex not only said the EXACT same thing, but he thought he was God's ft to karaoke. He was always flat. I did a lot of painting while I was with this one. If I asked what he thought he would squint at it and say "it's better than I could do." Could never actually compliment them. What a shit. When I left him he demanded I leave certain paintings I had done that he liked. I made him buy them.

The one he wanted the most I kept. Fuck him.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-05-16T10:03:42+00:00

Ha ha ha this actually describes my ex. No empathy, but could occasionally fake it, and kid you not - no bed base or frame. He was 33.

But sad but true that it’s also true that it describes so many men and their effects on so many good women.

Nightingale1820 · 2020-05-16T12:38:00+00:00

“I'm really gonna miss you picking fights And me falling for it screaming that I'm right And you would hide away and find your peace of mind With some indie record that's much cooler than mine”

cirrus_cloud · 2020-05-16T14:52:25+00:00

This is so true.

My last bf heard me singing in the kitchen while I was making breakfast one day and he said “ugh, don’t quit your day job”.

At the time, it really hurt my feelings and I felt really belittled.

But for the past year and half since I’ve broken up with him, I’ve taken voice lessons and am now the lead singer of a band. Who’s laughing now a**hole?!

themissdaydreamer · 2020-05-16T10:52:14+00:00

didn't expect to feel called out this early in the morning , i'm-

bonenecklace · 2020-05-16T11:32:30+00:00

Haha indeed oddly specific but true....

Why are so many of us attracted to guitar players? No matter how skilled their fingerwork is on that guitar, they still can't find the clitoris...

Mayonegg420 · 2020-05-16T12:49:47+00:00

....luke. his name was luke. 🥴🥴🥴

circescircus · 2020-05-16T15:32:47+00:00

Yeah, there is this very talented YouTube artist I watch, and I cringe when she makes self-deprecating jokes. One or two funny self-deprecating comments is fine, constantly shitting on yourself and trying to laugh it off is not. I watch less of her content now because of this. I don't think she even realizes that she does it. She's married, and I wonder if her husband tells her that her work is beautiful, that she is brave for doing what she does? It takes so much bravery to be a woman creator, to put yourself out there... stop insulting yourself/your own work!

ms_monquis · 2020-05-16T19:43:27+00:00

On the topic of creativity, I want to share one thing: Beware of becoming too result focused.

I read an essay long ago that has stuck with me for decades. When we were children, we made things with no concern for their “value” or how “good” they were. We created for the sheer joy of it. And then the adults in our lives — usually with all good intention — would say “this is wonderful, what is it?” And we learned to explain, justify, and grade our creations as objects, rather than just enjoy the process.

In our adulthood, people can use that against us. Sometimes on purpose.

When you create, remember the joy of those moments of flow, when you’re deep in whatever it is, the outside disappearing. Why you started doing it to begin with, and why you kept on. This doesn’t mean that you don’t observe valid critique, but consider the source, intent, and usefulness of any critique — and critic.

And remember, that’s not why you started this to begin with. Don’t let their voice(s) drown out yours.

open_heart_shrink · 2020-05-16T16:47:30+00:00

Futon sleeping seems highly correlated with lack of empathy. Men don’t sleep on futons, only manchilds in adult bodies.

rendervelvet · 2020-05-16T18:54:19+00:00

I sh*t you not, the post DIRECTLY above this one on my feed was a dude with no bed frame and an acoustic guitar (a Top Broadcast Live video). I can't speak to his empathy but damn that's an eerie coincidence!

ivy176 · 2020-05-16T13:33:38+00:00

Lol so accurate

nopuedeser818 · 2020-05-16T21:54:11+00:00

I hardly even remember guys trying. But if they did? It was so inconsequential that I don't remember.

Don't get me wrong, I could get very hurt when negged for other things, but my creative work? Nope. I think this is because I started showing interest in creative things at a very young age, had already survived many discouragements at a young age, persisted, and was determined to never give up. After all of that, some random idiot talking crap wasn't going to even register.

I do remember one time in college, there was a guy who felt competitive towards me for some reason. I wasn't antagonistic towards him, but he decided to take stabs at the quality of my creative work a few times. It didn't really bother me, because his own work was mediocre. Who cares, literally.

But this one time he was VERY loud and vocal in belittling something I had done. It was one of those class assignments where you have to follow certain guidelines and it was in an area that I wasn't very interested in and didn't have a lot of experience in. And it sucked. I wasn't really hurt when he said it sucked (because meh, it did). But he seemed so HAPPY to proclaim that to the whole class very LOUDLY. Because he was so vocal about it, I decided to give the same back. "I may be bad at [this thing], but you are terrible at [a much harder thing that is much more important.]" (The thing I said he was bad at also happened to be one of my main strengths and everyone in the class knew it.)

OH NOOOOOO that was NOT okay. Everyone around him laughed and groaned and he was SOOO pissed, but the truth is the truth. He dished it out, he needed to be able to take it.

I have found that in the creative field, men, especially young men, tend to be more thin-skinned and full of bravado and false pride. I've also been fortunate to have some wonderful, supportive men in my life (family members, friends, teachers), so I've had a lot of good experiences. But when you meet a creative person who has a huge overblown ego and thinks they can do no wrong and thinks they're superior to everyone else, they're more likely to be younger men. Not all the time but most of the time. (I think it's mostly young men because as the years go by, the struggles of life take away some of that early piss and vinegar.)

academinx · 2020-05-16T16:20:39+00:00

I’m in this picture and I don’t like it.

shakethat_milkshake · 2020-05-16T21:04:50+00:00

No bed frame hahhhhh!

sushiwalrus · 2020-05-17T00:39:23+00:00

The acoustic guitar with no bed frame has me SCREAMING. Guilty as charged dating one of these losers

chungkingxbricks · 2020-05-18T04:40:16+00:00

I feel seen ™️

Title	Oddly specific but soooooo spot on
Author	TheOGJammies
Upvotes	1797
Comments	53
Date	May 16, 2020 9:10 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gkrotx/oddly_specific_but_soooooo_spot_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/oddly-specific-but-soooooo-spot-on.676016 https://theredarchive.com/post/676016

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