I just realized

peachesngrunge · 2020-12-22T00:19:25+00:00

I’ve noticed on TikTok especially, when a woman posts her age and she’s in her 30s the kids are always blown away and are just like “OMG no way you’re 33?!?! You look 20!!!” Like, what do people think 30-somethings look like? We don’t turn into crones on the eve of our 30th birthday. FFS.

rainbowshummingbird · 2020-12-22T00:52:59+00:00

People who are very good looking when they are younger often are still very good looking when they are older. Aging by a decade does not magically transform them into an ugly person.

PeachPitiless · 2020-12-22T00:54:03+00:00

When I was 38 I went on a few dates with a man who was 31. We met on a dating app where it clearly showed our ages, but for some reason he didn't notice. He heavily pursued me respectfully so I figured I'd give it a shot, despite the age difference. On our third date when I mentioned I was 38 he had a mini freak out about it and went to check the app right there to verify it. He then said it didn't bother him but his weirdness caused me to end things. Certainly gave me a boost about my looks, but yeah, he had no clue.

threedotlove · 2020-12-21T22:50:08+00:00

I’m 32 and people still mistake me for a teenager so tbh I find it even extra gross when men in their 40s+ hit on me.

burpleseaurchin · 2020-12-21T23:11:37+00:00

I'm convinced that older women only sometimes don't look as good because they've dealt with male bullshit longer. Ever notice how the more confident, scrote/stress free, and happy older women look absolutely radiant?

Also society loves to neg older women into feeling inferior/sacrificing themselves for others and I think that can be reflected physically as well, for example she might not buy nice clothing (despite wanting to) or you may notice a lack of self care because she doesn't deem herself worthy.

cowburners · 2020-12-22T00:28:49+00:00

Extreme age gaps are really common here in high immigration parts of Canada and extremely damaging to women. These are trophy girlfriends. Gives the guy bragging rights -- usually to other guys but I have literally had a guy tell me about his 20 year younger Filipino girlfriend when we carpooling to a hike in a meetup. Basically the first thing out of his mouth to me and another woman who were both single and his age. He was nothing special. Had a lower working class job. Definitely not rich. I mean I have since met her and she is really nice but this kind of thing is far to common and one sided in favor of men.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2020-12-22T00:11:15+00:00

Some of us do change. At 13 when I started in a new school, other kids thought I was a teacher at first. Now that my kids are tweens and teens, I'm informed that I can't be their mother. It ended up causing real problems when I used a lawyer to get Visas for the kids for a sabbatical abroad. The lawyer not-so-subtly accused me of committing identity theft because I couldn't be the mother of a thirteen year old (in a country where women give birth at 11).

I don't know what happened. I looked like shit when the kids were all little, mostly from lack of sleep. A grade school school administrator would passive-aggressively tell me to watch my blood pressure whenever I addressed classroom issues. Then parenting and work got easier, I started really basic self care again, taking vitamins and eating better and suddenly I'm 25.

I hadn't been 25 since I was 13 lol.

cosmicabstract · 2020-12-22T00:39:26+00:00

went on a few dates with a successful man who was 34 (I’m in my 20’s), when I asked him why he didn’t date women his age, he responded with “women in their 30’s always expect something from you.”

I think it’s just typically the perceived age when women get their shit together / realizing their worth. 🙃

ThrowawayKITTY777 · 2020-12-22T00:01:18+00:00

I'm almost 43... still the same dress size I was at 23, everyone says I look young....and honestly I don't care. I'm stylish, and elegant and have settled into aesthetics I'm happy and comfortable with now. My face hasn't changed much, my body hasn't changed much.... but my confidence and style grew exponentially.

I look back at pics of young me and I have to cringe at all the things I used to do..... hanging onto that unflattering dark plum lipstick I loved for all of my 20s, my 5 year experiment with asymmetrical haircuts, that tacky habit I had of wearing 10-12 cheap silver rings at a time.

Young me might have been cute, but she was clueless about real glamour.

My peak for good looks STARTED in my 30s, that's when I'd finally developed the final form of my personal style and had the confidence to go with it.

And even when the wrinkles hit and my tits start sagging I'll still have my style... and my brain which really IS my best asset.

My brain, not my looks, was what got me my two careers, my house, my loving friends and most of my happiness in life.

Men really are the dumber gender.... they'd throw away everything that's important over ephemeral physical appearance.

😹😹😹

I don't have any patience for that kind of stupid.

megiroma · 2020-12-21T23:39:08+00:00

My oldest sister is approaching 40 (or maybe she is already 40), and she looks awesome after two kids! She avoids the sun though because she doesn’t care to go outside, so I think that is part of the reason why her skin looks so good

rf-elaine · 2020-12-21T23:16:38+00:00

The appearance of aging kicks in when you lose laxity and fat in your face. That can be mid to late 30s. But yeah, from 18-35 I looked the same, plus or minus a haircut.

MummyCroc · 2020-12-22T04:35:32+00:00

My mum is 61 and she looks like she's my older sister. In fact, most people assume she's my sister until I correct them. She gets a kick out of it. When she broke up with my dad, she barely aged and she takes good care of herself. I obviously want to be like her when I grow up

smallishtree · 2020-12-22T00:01:23+00:00

I’m only 26 and people lose their shit over it and say, “oh man you look 20!” ... ??? Maturity wise there’s a difference but if you’re THAT shocked or grossed out that I’m not twenty and you’re almost thirty, what the fuck?

BeautifulMadness7 · 2020-12-22T07:14:57+00:00

This is especially true within my ethnicity and culture, I’m close to 30 but people still mistake me for a middle schooler lol. That confused me why most of the males I knew wanted someone much younger than them since most of us already looked like a child, so I asked my ex this and he said that’s because younger girls are easier to control and they’re more likely to be submissive to an older man. He also wanted a wife that is 10 years younger than him to match his ‘sexual timing’. My other male friends said the same thing. :(

Kimpractical · 2020-12-21T22:54:48+00:00

I’m almost 40 and I still get carded for alcohol everytime

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2020-12-21T23:48:15+00:00

If you put a wig and full makeup on most teenage boys (not that you would without their consent), they'd look instantly 45-55. Men don't "age better." The standards are just warped.

throwaway111qqq · 2020-12-21T23:56:03+00:00

Looks should not be the reason u date someone anyways to be honest. I am weary if a guys past gf was much younger than him

plembb · 2020-12-22T01:29:06+00:00

Ok I’m 28 but I don’t see myself slowing down anytime soon... I plan to date younger guys, because even as women age, we still have WAY more options than men do, let’s be real. Been dating younger lately too and it’s kind of nice! I have no idea why, but I’m excited to be a cougar.

chinchaslyth · 2020-12-22T12:51:06+00:00

I’m about to turn 30 on Thursday and everyone thinks I’m 18. It runs in the family. My 55 year old aunt looks like she’s barely 40.

I hate that I attract older men though who think I’m dumb and want to be their sugar babies

tjhoughton · 2020-12-22T01:05:16+00:00

Can confirm I'm 32 and I'm still far from peaking. I get mistaken for early 20s all the time! (Retinol and daily moisturizer)

99power · 2020-12-22T01:44:46+00:00

Honestly my mother is 55 and still looks 40. If she lost weight she’d be able to date around. I’m not worried at all. Makes me extra bitter about all the emphasis on women to use anti-aging products when it’s men who hit The Wall™️.

Austenma · 2020-12-21T22:41:42+00:00

Absolutely

janatztxcxxx · 2020-12-22T06:22:52+00:00

Yes I read men in my country writing that they prefer someone in early to mid 20s since they’re not that picky. When I put my tinder age as early 20s even guys in 40s swiped right on me.

Meccha_me_2 · 2020-12-22T16:31:06+00:00

I can really tell this is true just going by the number of men who became less interested in me after finding out I’m 26 and not some 19 year old with a fake ID. Apparently I look 19-21 right? So if it’s all about looking young, they should feel like they hit the jackpot right? Not the case because they want someone they can manipulate.

HuMMHallelujah · 2020-12-22T02:52:16+00:00

Most guys are surprised when I tell them I’m 40. Apparently I’m supposed to look a lot older. I don’t do anything beyond basic skincare.

AdrasteaRed · 2020-12-22T12:07:21+00:00

The only thing that changed in my 20's are my standars. I have met 2 professors from my high school when I was 25 and one of them asked me how do I manage to look the same age (referring to my skin and general youthful appearance). Then another profesor in college learned that theu have one older student than the rest in the class, they didn't even think it was me. 🤣

ariaa126 · 2020-12-22T12:33:24+00:00

I work with youths and during our monthly activity sessions there’s bound to be a youth asking how old am I. I even get mistaken for a youth instead of a facilitator once.

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2020-12-22T18:31:47+00:00

I just want to comment on how The Wall used to be at age 30 but has now been lowered to 25. How fucking low will it go? I bet 5 years from now incels will be saying women hit the wall at 15 🤢

Poggersisms · 2020-12-27T13:06:53+00:00

Exactly. They run the “women hit the wall at 30” game as if we don’t know what’s really going on.

More like, by that age, even most pickmeishas realise they aren’t getting anywhere by being a doormat for men, and they don’t wanna play ball for a scrub anymore.

Can LVM just be honest??

They want to manipulate women to get the most ‘bang-maid’ (seen that used before, so accurate, lmao) service without any commitment.

They want these young women to be “cool girls”. Clean up after them, have unsatisfactory sex with them, and appeal to their male gaze.

Ladies, that doesn’t benefit any of us. A life of servitude is a life wasted. And what a slap in the face to women a hundred years ago, who knew exactly what needed to be done. 1) raise our standards. 2) occupy positions of political and economic power. 3) raise our voices. Loudly.

We can’t stay begging men for attention and decency.

We need to only accept intimacy in the terms we find reasonable, not give up our careers and our dignity to please these bum ass LVM.

JaneIsaPain · 2021-01-15T00:02:03+00:00

Hard agree. I don't tell people my age it is none of their business.

Title	I just realized
Author	Mcccy
Upvotes	645
Comments	67
Date	December 21, 2020 10:17 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/khromp/i_just_realized/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-just-realized.735773 https://theredarchive.com/post/735773

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