"Finally sent child support"

djchair · 2013-08-23T14:21:12+00:00

I've seen this before, it turns out it actually doesn't portray what you think it does. The girl photographed is the child, and she calls her father Juan because she has no interest in viewing him as a father. She opted to use the money he sent to get new shoes and her nails done. Here is one thread from reddit that backs this.

crazyex · 2013-08-23T13:14:15+00:00

I'm a rare custodial father that is supposed to receive child support from my ex-wife. I spend most of my income on supporting the children, and barely keep my head above water. On the rare occasions child support shows up, it gets spent on whatever needs to be bought.

Sometimes this means I get some work shoes or pants with it, mainly because almost every dime I've spent of my own money went to supporting the kids while I go without.

Just a thought.

DangerDick26 · 2013-08-23T11:57:23+00:00

My son's mother was granted back support for when she lived with me and I was supporting her. They made me pay from when we broke up, not when she moved out. So she has been getting my tax returns for a few years. Last year's tax return put a down payment on her fiancees new car. The one before that bought her her engagement ring. My son was told this year that he doesn't get a birthday party because they have to save for the wedding. When I tried to throw him one she got pissed off and wouldn't give me the contact info for any of his friends parents.

EDIT I am typing up the full story right now and will post it in this sub when it is done.

c0mputar · 2013-08-23T12:35:16+00:00

Stupid post. If the child is being neglected, that's one thing, but we don't know that. Quite frankly she could be spending plenty on her child, neglecting herself. She "finally" got child support meaning it might not be a regular occurrence... Therefore she is treating it like a bonus.

Not going to get into a debate about child support and all that shit, it's mostly fucked up, but this witch hunt is misguided without more details.

bandwidthpirate · 2013-08-23T14:07:25+00:00

No indication that the child is being neglected due to lack of child support payments. Who is to say that she isn't just recouping what she spent out of pocket to support the child? If she bought food with her personal money, and then when the check "finally" came, used it on what she planned to do with her previously spent money, I see no problem.

n1njabot · 2013-08-23T14:38:30+00:00

I have paid and received child support - let me tell you sometimes when you get that check and have been neglecting yourself so you could buy food for your kid because your shithead ex stiffed you for months it's nice to replace that pair of work pants and get a couple work shirts for yourself.

It's not as cut and dry as you might think.

NvrConvctd · 2013-08-23T13:56:28+00:00

Yep. Sitting here reading texts from my ex about how if I have money to take my son to the movies i should be able to pay more in child support. Not even behind or anything.

Cikedo · 2013-08-23T15:57:35+00:00

...I'm just browsing /r/all, so I don't know if this is supposed to be a joke or not but...

How in the fuck can you POSSIBLY judge a woman for this picture? I mean, I'm a guy who pays child support and this makes no sense to me. Look, my ex basically spends 100% of her income just on necessities (rent, food for her and my kid). When all is said and done and daycare is paid for, and school fees are paid, and my little man eats - she's basically out of money.

When I'm paying child support, I'm reimbursing her for money she's already spent. I wouldn't be surprised if 0% of the money I give her ACTUALLY gets spent on the child, because she's already spent it. I would NEVER in my life go so low as to look at her facebook the day she cashes my check and say "OH MY GOD, SHE WENT TO THE MOVIES WITH MY CHILD SUPPORT MONEY!?".

What the fuck kind of subreddit is this? Are you guys idiots?

givemethe_formuoli · 2013-08-23T14:53:18+00:00

Have any of you ever thought that her dad sent child support?

davers84 · 2013-08-23T15:42:09+00:00

My dad use to get mad when my mom would spend the child support on herself. He would tell me and my brother that the money was for us, not her. When I was younger, I didn't quite understand all of it, but when I got older and was still hearing about it, I finally told him "Mom works 3 jobs to support us. She pays the bills and gives us food. She pays for our schooling and buys us stuff we really don't need. I'm fine with her using the money on herself or to take herself out to eat every now and then." He didn't like my answer BUT he never mentioned the money to me again.

Peter_Principle_ · 2013-08-23T12:22:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

notnotnotfred · 2013-08-23T11:20:25+00:00

1) this has been posted before.

2) the person in the photo could be a child (Juan's child) just as easily as his wife.

3) she could just as easily be a fictional character.

McFeely_Smackup · 2013-08-23T15:12:31+00:00

I don't think it's fair to say these exact dollars from one parent must be spent on the child...in fact the phrase "finally sent child support" makes it sound like it's late, and as such would basically be paying back money the mother would have already spent.

That being said, I don't think it's unreasonable at ALL to ask the custodial parent to provide receipts for the childs expenses. If the expenses don't equal 200% of what the non custodial parent is paying, then clearly the support is too much (since both parents should be paying half, right?).

But no, we pretend that accounting for expenses is just too much trouble to ask...as if it were more trouble than actually earning the money that has to be sent.

2013-08-23T14:14:45+00:00

You don't know that she didn't spend her boot money on things for the kid, and is recompensing herself for having carried the entire financial burden.

That being said, you're right though, there are those who consider child support "non taxable alimony."

2013-08-23T14:55:13+00:00

So she spent her income on the child with nothing left over for herself, when the support came through she could finally get something for herself. Am I missing something or are we all just going to assume she is scum with no real evidence to the contrary?

reddit_feminist · 2013-08-23T16:09:04+00:00

I'm pretty sure the last time this was posted, it was determined that "Juan" was actually the poster's father, and not her baby daddy. So Juan paid for boots and a manicure for his daughter.

broff · 2013-08-23T15:08:04+00:00

Just for context, she probably spent about $100-110 on herself here. The boots are $84 and nails aren't that expensive.

2013-08-23T16:57:13+00:00

this sub is downright embarrassing.

woooooh · 2013-08-23T15:24:12+00:00

Maybe she spend "her" money on the kid and had to wait until the dad paid his end so she could buy some clothes.

I don't care about nails and boots, but maybe she's not irresponsible.

irregodless · 2013-08-23T15:24:19+00:00

This is old, this was posted by the daughter, not the mother

MrAlyx · 2013-08-23T14:01:43+00:00

As a single parent this frustrates me a bit. The majority of my income goes toward raising my son. Despite having a higher income than me, my ex pays a whopping $130 a month. The support is directly added to a card. Usually I take the money out in cash and deposit it into the bank to be used as general fund but there have been times when I used the card to purchase things directly. Once while buying cigarettes (yes I do smoke but never around my son) the cashier, as he handed back my card recognizing it was CS, made comment about how he's sure that wasn't a purchase for my child. I was infuriated. I've spent $110, almost the entire monthly amount of support, on back to school clothes. Not mention school fees, lunch money, snack milk money, sports, etc.. My son is very well taken care of and not by the mere $130 a month we receive in support. Not even $260 a month, if it was split evenly between us, would take care of our son. As far as I'm concerned people need to stop worrying about how other people spend the support they receive to raise a child so long as said child is well taken care of.

2013-08-23T14:15:54+00:00

I have full custody of my daughter and my ex-wife will start send me child support soon. You better bet that all of that money will go to my daughter.

RavensHand · 2013-08-23T15:09:48+00:00

That belongs in /r/rage

2013-08-23T13:42:23+00:00

You can't win. The system is stacked against you. Deal with it and move on. If you don't the unfairness of the situation will slowly crush what little self esteem she's left you with. Don't let her have that as well. I feel for you. I've been through it myself.

searedscallops · 2013-08-23T13:44:33+00:00

Maybe she spent her own money on caring for the child, then used the child support money on herself.

icpierre · 2013-08-23T12:31:20+00:00

Is it just me, or should child support be sent on a Debit/ATM card whose purchases can be viewed by either the father or mother electronically, to ensure that the money being sent is being spent on the child, and have a record of it?

adidasimwearing · 2013-08-23T16:29:14+00:00

Child support should be just like taxes. Keep your receipts to prove in an audit that the child is being supported by the money being paid. I've heard countless stories of women blowing child support money on god knows what and have had countless discussions with otherwise intelligent women who constantly defend this blind accounting of child support money. Makes me crazy and I'm not in a position to have to pay any child support.

arguslogos · 2013-08-23T16:52:25+00:00

The emotions I feel when I see something like this. Sympathy for the neglected child. Righteous indignation towards the mother for choosing vanity over her child. Shock that she is stupid enough to brag about her irresponsible and selfish decision on social media.

sillymod · 2013-08-23T16:56:35+00:00

For being 5 hours old, and a really old repost, this has a disturbingly high number of votes.

This is likely being voted on by outside, based on the traffic stats.

iamirishpat · 2013-08-23T17:05:56+00:00

It's shit like this getting upvoted to the top that makes our page look bad.
THERE'S NO CONTEXT HERE.

hellsgrave · 2013-08-23T13:36:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-08-23T13:01:26+00:00

Fuckn' repost.

Johnzsmith · 2013-08-23T16:03:06+00:00

My ex was one of those bitches that would always spend the child support money on herself.

Best thing to ever happen? When my daughter was 13 I got custody. My ex went from receiving child support to having to pay child support. Sometimes I think that maybe Karma is real.

woooooh · 2013-08-23T15:25:46+00:00

sweet subreddit

WhatWouldMySonsSay · 2013-08-23T15:08:34+00:00

How does this even happen? I pay 50 bucks a week for 2 kids, the only reason for this is because my mom lives downstairs from me and the pays most of the houses rent, so the courts wanted to balance out the monies. If my ex ever did something like buy herself shoes I'd go to court and have it changed immediately. Seriously people, take a stand, order the court that you want joint custody and nothing less. Oh, also have 10k in your 401k available for a good lawyer.

label4life67 · 2013-08-23T13:53:03+00:00

I'm a PI, take my advice, document everything, make all of your purchases electronic, save reciepts of everything you buy for your child, have pick ups and drop offs in the parking lot of police stations. And most importantly be as fake nice as possible, you would be surprise of what can result in "harassment". If you roll your eyes, use a nick name she might not like. You have an uphill battle, goodluck.

firex726 · 2013-08-23T13:07:04+00:00

I really think CS should be treated more like WIC or other assistance program.

Don't just cut a check; setup a budget in different areas, clothes, school, medical, entertainment. When the custodial parent goes to spend a money they can use the CS debit card and it'll deduct based on the items being bought from the budget pool.

If one area runs out, then it's on the custodial parent to fulfill the need. Thus you cannot spend all of the school budget on going to the movies.

If a portion of the budget went unused one month, then it's just rolled over and was deducted from the next payment.

Things like alcohol and adult entertainment would of course not be covered at all.

berrythrills · 2013-08-23T13:42:00+00:00

Maybe TOMS donated the 2nd pair of shoes to her kid?

NeoShader · 2013-08-23T14:59:02+00:00

http://memedad.com/meme/30387

"Child Support"

boddah87 · 2013-08-23T15:04:51+00:00

Did anyone else read about John Cryer?

2013-08-23T16:39:15+00:00

/r/cringepics would be proud

brzcory · 2013-08-23T17:07:35+00:00

Thought this was /r/cringpics

Was not disappointed :D

2013-08-23T17:21:04+00:00

Do research before you go posting something.

The girl is the man's daughter, she calls him Juan because she doesn't see him as much of a father.

Venomroach · 2013-08-23T15:25:51+00:00

Edit: blind rage, bad comment.

waceyy · 2013-08-23T16:17:20+00:00

Oh wow look at this singular example of someone using child support to buy shoes!!! MEN NEED RIGHTS TOO. Srsly tho, stfu.

drakeblood4 · 2013-08-23T11:45:31+00:00

For a place as justifiably enamored with the apex fallacy as /r/MensRights, there sure seem to be a lot of people in the hivemind who don't understand that a single point of compelling data is indistinguishable from bullshit.

6inchpianist · 2013-08-23T14:42:46+00:00

There's a voice within me that hopes people aren't really awful. That part of me says that maybe she had to do without boots and "nails done" with her own money because she had to buy the kid's school supplies and school wardrobe by herself. I know that voice within me is a naive sucker too though.

majakeyes · 2013-08-23T15:17:51+00:00

Sounds like my hubby's ex. She paid her car off but won't buy my stepson new shoes or clothes. So sad and frustrations and not a damn thing we can do about it.

yellowzealot · 2013-08-23T15:28:48+00:00

Isn't this admissible as evidence in court for misappropriation of funds?

kou_uraki · 2013-08-23T17:15:32+00:00

It's fucked up because people have to pay child support, man or women, for them to spend it as they please. If they have enough money to not need the child support then they shouldn't get it. Obviously, they aren't together so why should someone's money go to them when it's meant for the child? There should be some sort of legal procedure or guidelines for reporting child expenses and showing that the money was used properly. She should at least pit that money in a college fund if she doesn't need it.

cawkwielder · 2013-08-23T14:02:01+00:00

What a fucking cunt.

LoveThemApples · 2013-08-23T13:29:46+00:00

Please, please turn this person in. Not sure how. But please do.

2013-08-23T14:02:41+00:00

juan is mexican, probably.

Title	"Finally sent child support"
Author	hellsgrave
Upvotes	1114
Comments	413
Date	August 23, 2013 10:59 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1kxpc5/finally_sent_child_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/finally-sent-child-support.1165650 https://theredarchive.com/post/1165650

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