There is little difference in libido levels between me and women, the mistake men make is project their own sexual arousal process to women

WilliamWyattD · 2021-10-10T16:13:40+00:00

Much of what you say is true in terms of ways to unleash the full female sex drive.

That said, the research on this is more sophisticated than just conventional wisdom. While it is ultimately difficult to quantify and compare the female sex drive to the male, given both have different processes, the data is pretty overwhelming. All the numbers strongly favor a more powerful male sex drive, and include metrics that try to control for much of what you are talking about.

But sure, at the end of the day, there is no perfect apples to apples comparison. One could also get into semantics arguments about what 'sex drive' or 'libido' means. Overall, given the data, I think it is still fair to say men have a stronger libido, if proper caveats are understood.

DeliciousPussyNectar · 2021-10-10T17:24:58+00:00

This scientifically isn’t true.

abaxeron · 2021-10-10T19:46:56+00:00

[Women] need to feel comfortable, safe,

Under this assumption, we'd conclude that men should get progressively more sex the more "comfortable and safe" they are. The most generous estimates show no such effect. The least generous show the opposite, in all possible estimates available (amount of children, marriages in a lifetime, STI drug prescriptions, etc).

they need to be with the right guy who projects confidence

OR men are more likely to "project confidence" when they have regular and fulfilling sex. I don't contest the connection, but it just might be that it goes the other way.

Brilliant-Hornet1916 · 2021-10-10T21:06:37+00:00

They need to feel comfortable, safe, it takes time, they need to be with
the right guy who projects confidence so they can feel confident wjth
him to experience the level of sexual arousal that men do much easier.

How do explain all the women who have had a 1 night stand from a nightclub, or a college party? How do you explain the millions of hook ups that happen from tinder every year?

Women have a higher bar for safety, connection than men do, sure. But a lot of them will throw all that out the window for a guy they find genuinely physically attractive and has high enough social value to not have to wait months for sex.

If Chris Brown tweets out his hotel location and room number right now and says "any ladies want to join me?", within an hour he'll have a queue of women outside his hotel room 3 miles long.

snowcakey · 2021-10-10T16:06:56+00:00

But there is a difference in male & female libido. Men have 15-20x more testosterone than the average women. Testosterone is a major sex hormone that is responsible for libido, sperm production, aggression, muscle size & strength, etc.

Don’t get me wrong, women are horny & sexual too but very rarely does it TRULY “match” men. Your point still stands and makes sense to me but I disagree about men and women having similar sex drives.

2021-10-10T16:08:22+00:00

Nope, just do some reading about the effect T has on trans men when they first go on it. For a lot of people it's night and day.

Even if we assume all is equal, which I'm not convinced of, we still end up with a large gap in functional libido because of all the things you talk about that pull women out of the mood. Most guys can get it up with very little stimulus.

You're just splitting hairs so you can make the same "men bad at sex" point that we've all heard a million times. It's just as much a problem of a lot women being hard to pleasure as it is a problem of men being bad, look at the difference between gay men and lesbians.

M3taBuster · 2021-10-11T07:42:12+00:00

If women have more conditions that need to be met in order to experience arousal, then they will inevitably be aroused less frequently than men... So how exactly is that not a difference in libido? Or at least, how is that not the same result as a difference in libido?

YtBlue · 2021-10-10T16:49:12+00:00

It's like you guys have never watched a MtF or FtM transsexuals transformation. All report the same thing, the male sex drive is way higher than a woman's. A woman will never match the sex drive of a man. The reason why women get to choose is because of their low sex drive in mass. Simple supply and demand.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-10T18:01:23+00:00

I don't really see the difference between a lower "threshold to get aroused" and a higher libido.

Though it is interesting to talk about why the M/F difference exists.

KikiYuyu · 2021-10-10T17:41:51+00:00

They need to feel comfortable, safe, it takes time

Yess! I'm not the type of person who views all men as a threat to me, but that doesn't mean I have nothing to worry about when it comes to my safety. Being alone and naked with a person is pure vulnerability. Emotionally and physically.

I've had so many guys on here tell me that no woman can be single because she can always just find a person in minutes. Yeah, I can find strangers easily enough. Being vulnerable with a stranger is how you end up a missing person.

Perpetual_Question · 2021-10-10T19:50:29+00:00

Libido literally means the ability to get sexually aroused. If it's harder for women to become aroused, then they have lower libidos. Words have meanings.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2021-10-10T20:00:29+00:00

Women don't have a higher threshold for sexual arousal. They have higher inhibitory mechanisms. The whole idea of 'last minute resistance,' 'token resistance,' 'being coy,' is not wrong --- these are real things that happen even if you are a 'hawt guy.'

It's usually operationalized as 'disgust,'

Men get horny and that horniness just erases any inhibitory disgust men have --- hence, men easily drop their standards.

WOMEN DO NOT DO THIS.

A woman being horny for the most part does not have any bearing on her inhibitory mechanisms, which is why women will be extremely pissed that they have no one to 'fuck' even though there are several offers (beneath their standards).

There's a study that shows this well:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/317273311_Disgust_Trumps_Lust_Women%27s_Disgust_and_Attraction_Towards_Men_Is_Unaffected_by_Sexual_Arousal

Notice that while the thought of fucking an unattractive guy spikes disgust to 5, even the hawt guy in that example still spikes the disgust to 3. Note as well the thought of kissing a hawt guy has a really low disgust level, hence why it's so easy to just randomly make out with women when you're out and about (and why that utlimately means nothing).

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2021-10-15T00:56:06+00:00

Nope. Women have casual sex just like men do. A one night stand isn’t exactly something you have after careful vetting and establishing intimacy. What many men are dissonant about it that a woman will sleep with a man simply because he’s physically attractive, and not because he checks all the boxes

gofigure62 · 2021-10-10T15:02:06+00:00

I think libido varies from person to person. I have yet to meet a man that macthes my high libido.

But ultimately yes. A disturbing amount of men don't know anything about vaginas or care about their partners saftey or comfort.

So many women have explained how their partners don't even wait until they're wet to penetrate them.

So many women have explained how their partners don't actually give foreplay to arouse them.

And many men have expressed that they don't care. It's "work" for them to care about the pleasure and comfort of their women.

It's the reason why most heterosexual women never orgasim with men.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-10-10T16:54:45+00:00

Nope. Most women have responsive desire: they get horny from having sex.

Only a minority of women get gorny before sex like men do. Yes that applies to me.

TodTheRod01 · 2021-10-10T20:08:20+00:00

Considering the posts from FTM trans people saying testosterone administration = libido overdrive....

I DISAGREE HARD

jbo99 · 2021-10-10T15:27:42+00:00

Totally. This is where I lean hard blue pill on this issue. I’ve found when I’ve been in relationships and have basically done basic things correctly like gone on a date or snuggled for a bit or watched a move or other just basic “warm up” activities my girlfriend will pretty much always be down to have sex and pretty much always be down to do whatever I want. You just have to follow a bit of a process.

A lot of RP guys make long term relationships out to be a suckers bet for getting sex and I just don’t understand. Relationships are (or at least should be) super fucking sexual. If yours isn’t, end it.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2021-10-10T19:07:53+00:00

Many women who parrot this line about men and women having equal sex drives are doing this with the subtext of showing how shitty men are.

It’s basically saying “see! my libido is just as high as yours, yet I don’t watch porn / check out asses / chat up strangers / have filthy sex with people I just met because i’m a good person!”

ImportantResults · 2021-10-10T22:07:26+00:00

Men simply need to get an erection and have an attractive enough stranger in front of them to want sex.

You are not “men”, you are an individual, so you can talk for yourself.

SaBahRub · 2021-10-10T23:44:48+00:00

The sex, law enforcement and dating industries beg to differ

spinsterchachkies · 2021-10-11T06:27:57+00:00

Completely true

Rosifer433d · 2021-10-10T16:12:04+00:00

I dunno about that, chief. I've been approached by random attractive women for sex, and I stood there scratching my head wondering if these women were going to kidnap me and to turn me into a male sex slave to rich old fucks, or wether they were going to steal my kidneys, because I ain't ugly, and I ain't fat, but I'm not the pinnacle of male beauty and masculinity(the honour of being both belongs to the red pillers and black pillers).

There's billions of women in the world, and each Country has it's own culture. I was approached for sex in Brazil, Spain, and Sweden. I sure as shit ain't getting approached for casual sex if I land in Saudi Arabia or if I take a car ride to Salt Lake City, ya dig?

There have also been women whom I've been attracted to, but I never made a move because I was aware that I wasn't the kind of guy they usually go for, but then these women for a reason or another went to go months without any sex, and when they came back, they texted me asking me if I was awake at 4 in the morning or if I wanted to go watch a movie at midnight with them.

I was probably their third or fifth option of the night, but they were still horny, just for the sake of being horny, out of the blue I reckon, and I suppose using me as a dildo was better than using a rubber dildo.

kcam3114 · 2021-10-10T15:48:59+00:00

This is 100% true.

Rosifer433d · 2021-10-10T16:05:16+00:00

So this is why women hook up with chad on tinder in a few messages? Lmao Get out of here

You ever had a chad friend?

Wildhouse83 · 2021-10-10T20:40:57+00:00

I doubt that women need to feel comfortable. That may be the case with her provider/good guy. If she is really attracted to a guy, things can escalate very quickly.

SaBahRub · 2021-10-10T15:20:37+00:00

Make two online dating profiles, straight male and straight female

Observe the total lack of difference in your results

JennyConcinnity · 2021-10-10T16:40:32+00:00

Thank you Op. This is 100% my experience too.

eye_fuck · 2021-10-10T15:05:38+00:00

'Difference in sexual arousal mechanism' IS mostly the difference in libido lmao op. Look up sex drive of women on testosterone and compare it with male sex drive, then look up sexual behavior of low libido men and compare it with average women. Obv there's some differences between genders but you can't just say 'there's little difference in libido' why am i even wasting time on this

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-10-10T14:54:01+00:00

You are forgetting that women are attracted to status the same way men are attracted to hot chicks. You ever notice how when women talk about degrees like it's suppose to make them hot or something? that's because they are projecting. That's what they want, not what men want.

So if you can increase your status, you can be hot enough to get women to want to fuck you like that.

LillthOfBabylon · 2021-10-10T19:34:19+00:00

But women have a higher threshold for sexual arousal.

I would say that means we have a lower sex drive. If it takes more effort for a person to be arouse, I would say their libido is low.

They assume if they looked like Chad women would just strip off their clothes and start fucking them on the street

That has less to do with male libido and more to do with certain men not understanding that porn isn't real. Most men are not going to fuck in public, that's disgusting and that shows a lack of self control.

And please don't forget that most hookups amongst young people involve getting drunk. So when it comes to noncommittal sex, it's more about acting on impulse and not taking the time to think things through.

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trail22 · 2021-10-10T20:16:14+00:00

Thats like saying one legged man can walk just as far a a man with 2 legs, they just have to put in more work.

LUCKYMAZE · 2021-10-10T20:50:28+00:00

women are usually hornier than men, and they did a study showing that women get horny from regular objects while men don't

Insidious-Sid · 2021-10-10T21:23:19+00:00

Men and women have different requirements for getting turned on.

https://img.ifunny.co/images/deebbc7229b7b61973029775564f9357c9dcfada09721736b79f0aabb38db928_1.webp

naka2531 · 2021-10-11T00:18:01+00:00

I'm a male and I don't have any desire to have sex with strangers just because I have a boner, that's just stupid. Also, there are a lot of freak women who will just have sex with strangers because they can, there are people of both genders who get turned on by things like danger, fear, humiliation, pain, and other deviant things. I don't necessarily need to feel super romantically attached to someone to have sex with them, but I only feel really aroused when I know I'm having sex in good spirits, which means I have to feel safe and comfortable, I have to feel like being open and socially vulnerable, the girl has to be cute and nice, the situation has to feel light-hearted, happy, and low-pressure. If there's a sense of distress or distrust around the act, I consider that having sex in bad spirits, which I don't like.

MisterJose · 2021-10-11T03:18:46+00:00

Is there something inherently female about feeling initially uncomfortable, unsafe, and without confidence?

Shot-Suggestion6256 · 2021-10-11T03:37:19+00:00

In my experience, two of my relationships my ex’s were more horny than I am. I’m a once a day guy and they wanted it twice or three times some days. We’d cuddle on the bed and I’d touch their bodies or kiss their necks/lips and they were already horny when I didn’t even mean to do that. When we first meet after not seeing each other for a few days or a week, they would jump on my body as soon as we were private.

2021-10-11T06:13:33+00:00

Testosterone does play a role in libido, but you are absolutely right in that men project their sexual arousal process onto women, and that it's quite likely that the difference in libido is not as big as some would assume.

MattPruga · 2022-01-16T21:29:40+00:00

Men hold 10 times more testosterone in their body, women will never be able to experience the horniness men live.

Title	There is little difference in libido levels between me and women, the mistake men make is project their own sexual arousal process to women
Author	JacobMoogberg69
Upvotes	64
Comments	165
Date	October 10, 2021 2:21 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/q58y6b/there_is_little_difference_in_libido_levels/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/there-is-little-difference-in-libido-levels.1076452 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076452

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