I used to be a feminist and now I dont know why I was

Aimless-Nomad · 2022-07-22T03:00:37+00:00

Watch the red pill if you haven't already.

It was made by a former feminist.

GreatGrizzly · 2022-07-22T05:39:59+00:00

Men need more women like you. I will warn you though: just by posting on here you'll have a target on your back like the rest of us.

Even discussing men's rights and how men are treated can get you banned in multiple subreddits.

Wood-lily · 2022-07-22T03:50:41+00:00

Hey I am glad You have changed your opinion. It must be difficult for anyone one with an important male in their life in such circles. That seems to be a common thread among women whom come here, be it a brother, father or husband that has been harmed or threatened.

Honestly everyone one makes mistakes and poor judgements especially earlier in life. I most certainly have. What is important is the person one is today and tomorrow.

Welcome to our sub, pleased to have you here.

ZekalMacabre · 2022-07-22T04:46:17+00:00

I've been forced to deal with feminism and feminists for over 30 years.

Feminism is pure fucking evil and more toxic than raw sewage.

I'm glad you finally realized that.

Extra-Strike2276 · 2022-07-22T03:22:42+00:00

Feminism is a cult and easy to fall into because of the way we view women as a society. It's easy to agree with the face of feminism because of course women should have equal rights as men. The problem isn't the rights they want but trying to force women into position of men. It didn't matter if you're a man or women feminism will turn on you the second you think a women can do what she wants with her life.

Feminism has certain ideas they enforce in their groups and then all tend to be things that actually make the average women less happy, even though they sound good. It's like men being forced into homemakers, sure some would do good but the majority would hate their lives. Everyone should have the same access to choose what they want in life without having a group criticize their actions, regardless of thier gender. I think feminism has helped in the past regardless of their true agenda, but it's also caused a lot of harm too.

PricklyGoober · 2022-07-22T03:45:26+00:00

You are welcome.

chrisdidwht · 2022-07-22T08:49:00+00:00

I wish more women understood how malicious feminism is towards men. I ended up with self esteem issues because of how much feminism told me i was useless, ugly, a monster, etc. I wish i was never exposed to it at such a young age.

unanimous411 · 2022-07-22T04:27:37+00:00

You hit just about every point with solid logic. If you were truly a feminist (and not a man trolling to make manosphere points), then kudos to you for figuring this out. Like, really, most people can't be bothered. But, I have to say, I haven't run into anything near what you describe in my own personal life. Most people I know aren't really bigoted towards any ideology.

usernot_found · 2022-07-22T05:14:08+00:00

This is why we have to eradicate tumor, playing victim and stuff. Originally they are formed to combat discrimination. Now they are the definition of nazism

Namedoesntmatter89 · 2022-07-22T08:45:10+00:00

You know why my wife loves me? Because she knows that when push comes to shove, i will put our family first

You know why i love my wife? Because when push comes to shove, she will put our family first.

Im not a particularly great person, but at least i can do this one thing correctly.

Its always nice to hear others doing the same thing.

RedBaronYT33 · 2022-07-22T05:24:39+00:00

I’m glad you were able to see the light

LionVenom10 · 2022-07-22T06:03:06+00:00

I used to call myself egalitarian, and it’s not that I disagree with it, far from it, but I’ve personally lost hope. I feel like gender wars have already been established, and it’s probably too late for any label or movement to fix it. The damage is irreversible, we can only just hope to avoid all the rape, false accusations, infidelity, grooming, manipulation and degeneracy being promoted towards both sexes.

SpookieDookie483 · 2022-07-22T04:48:28+00:00

Atleqst you seen the light. You are okay in my book. Most likely all women feel the need to be one but they don't understand what it truly is. Glad you seen the light.

tenchineuro · 2022-07-22T05:57:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

needalife94 · 2022-07-22T06:09:22+00:00

Damn , sorry the ladies treated you that way when you wouldn't do exactly what they wanted. At least you saw the signs and decided to educate your self a bit. Thanks for being about mens rights and thanks for checking out the sub !!!

Metroid545 · 2022-07-22T06:34:59+00:00

For many people feminist just means equal rights, something we all generally agree with. That is not and has never been the feminist stance

SpookieDookie483 · 2022-07-22T04:54:08+00:00

Also it is really sad to see them brainwash women to hate their fathers. Good fathers who do nothing wrong but raise them but because he is white, straight, and a man he is pure evil. Some of the poor fathers having to go through their daughters hating them for no reason just because a roast beef put it in their head to do so.

Huffers1010 · 2022-07-22T10:30:56+00:00

You probably described yourself as a feminist for some fairly supportable reasons.

At the most basic level, if you ask anyone what a feminist is, they'll tell you the whole thing is purely, only, and solely about equality. If that's as far as it goes, why wouldn't you sign up? Under those rules, most of us are feminists, though a lot of us probably wouldn't choose the term by default because it's become so loaded. That's not what feminism often means in 2022.

You also probably grew up in a world where you were exposed to a huge amount of media coverage of the problems of women. A lot of those problems are completely legitimate and we should all do what we can to help solve them. The problem is, you probably also saw quite a lot of coverage suggesting men don't care about those problems (which is a lot less true) and almost no coverage of the problems men face (which are also pretty legitimate in a lot of cases).

You're probably also aware of the many injustices imposed on women in the past, which are hard to deny, not that the overwhelming majority of modern men were responsible for, or would have agreed with, any of it.

Also, if you had any really unpleasant experiences with men, or any really unpleasant gynaecological problems which highlighted the practical downsides of being a woman, you might be excused for feeling a bit more strongly about it. I've met a couple of people who had really horrendous periods and, understandably, got fairly pissed off about it, and who can blame them. Not much can be said about that other than we probably all wish there was better medical care for it.

If you've managed to undergo any or all of this and still come out saying "hang on a minute..." about the nastier side of modern feminism, good for you.

AndyBrown65 · 2022-07-22T23:24:31+00:00

Feminism is a hate movement

Koda1214 · 2022-07-22T07:01:50+00:00

It makes me wonder if if these types of women could handle the casual mutilation that boys/men have to endure threw out there life. Taking in to account all the things you have to hear and all the programs on TV. I wonder how well a women could handle this type of equality.

Sad_Chair8797 · 2022-07-22T11:24:15+00:00

I used to trust the police, Then I grew up.

I used to think grown-ups knew everything, Then I grew up .

I used to think church helped people Etc Etc Etc

oats_and_cakes · 2022-07-22T12:56:01+00:00

Hey OP fellow ex-feminist here 🙋‍♀️ Even I was a blind feminist like u but after watching jordan Peterson, some YouTube channels discussing men issues etc I have been able to open my eyes.

Tayzey · 2022-07-22T11:23:17+00:00

With the education system, especially universities becoming more and more feminism based by the day, my generation (young millenial) has become a toxic dating place for young men. Mid 20's, we aren't rich yet, aren't entirely established but well on our way to successful, fulfilling careers. But many women are always looking to climb the ladder and will monkey branch to an older, more succesful man as soon as one shows interest. Most likely cheating and being in both relationships at once.

Not to mention dating apps, where they get like a hundred matches a day, where even above average guys get like 5 a week that usually go nowhere other than a few exchanged messages. Traditional dating is dead.

Lucky you and your guy have been together for 7 years. The dating scene is way worse now. My highschool sweetheart cheated on my and left me for a 35 year old guy that had kids, but was fairly wealthy. They dated for like a year and a half, she got pregnant and had a kid with him. Then she wanted me back lol.

I just don't look anymore, just focus on my hobbies and work. It's better than digging through the weeds trying to find 'the one' these days. Good luck to you, glad you opened your eyes!

MBV-09-C · 2022-07-22T12:52:03+00:00

I theorize that women like those single mothers you know probably act that way because it's what they think men act like from bad partner choices, poor media representation, other bitter women, and/or unfortunate parents. They decide they want to be abusive chauvinists that sleep around with no agency for their actions because they project that behavior onto men. Problem with that type of thinking is that, on top of being insanely sexist, most men are nowhere near that brand of soap opera evil, so they're way more often than not lashing out at people who think nothing like the men they're emulating.

I actually have two cousins like this, sisters, the older one is a single mom, she divorced her husband within a year of their marriage, and the younger one is pregnant but likely going end up in the exact same boat. Their mom was an abusive, drug-addicted, psycho that pushed her addiction onto their older brother and he died of it. Their dad was easily the more responsible one out of the two despite drinking and smoking. Guess who those two ended up taking after anyway? They're not as bad as some feminists I've seen but they'll bring up feminist topics unprompted are family gatherings, express blatantly anti-male sentiments like calling men trash and such, sleep around with men who keep getting arrested, and can't seem to hold onto a job for more than a month. No amount of reasoning from the family has swayed them and so now we pretty much just shoot their bs down and force them to be miserable by themselves. I just pity the kid and the kid to be for the situation they're in, we can only help so much but if that's their parents, they're not going to turn out well, and since both the kids are girls, I'll bet they're going to try pushing their views on them too.

jasonrodrigue · 2022-07-22T13:59:00+00:00

Cultural brainwashing. Plus the entire government, education system, most people’s families and peers, entertainment, western religion styles, and society try to pitch it as a good thing and trick you into having no dignity and self-respect and that you should live your life as an apology to other’s if you are certain classes of people. Reject this. Anyone can accomplish anything if they focus and dedicate themselves to it. Wanting to be a victim and receive entitlements is a loser’s mentality. Being an over accommodating wimp and subordinating yourself to “uplift” others, is rejecting that you can have any value or dignity because of other events and circumstances outside of yourself. It also rejects other people’s ability to learn to do for themselves. Look at any baby learning to walk or talk. It starts off hard and they start off very unskilled and with a lack of understanding. Overtime this can be overcome. This is a representation of everything in life. You might have already developed other skills and learned prior information that might make certain skills come to you more easily, but you can always find new ways to think and figure out how to do anything. Feminism rejects hard work.

DietDoritos · 2022-07-23T02:29:05+00:00

Feminism up until about the 70s was about equality, but from then on it became more about superiority.

Imaginary-Luck-8671 · 2022-07-22T05:25:00+00:00

No offense, this is just my opinion, but there is nothing inherently disrespectful or self deprecating about being a highly sexual person, as long as you don't cheat and are honest with your partner. ... That's all I wanted to add. ✌️

HikuroMishiro · 2022-07-22T06:00:40+00:00

Welcome. Please ignore the trolls, I see at least one is already being annoying in the comments.

Canadian-female · 2022-07-22T11:47:52+00:00

I’m not a feminist either. I’ve never been an activist about anything, but I would say “I’m a feminist” because I thought if you weren’t that meant you were against women. I was there in the seventies when this modern push for equality really started and I was all for it, but now, on the other end of it, I’m out. The more extremist they’ve become , the more important it’s become to disassociate myself from them. I feel like the war has been won and to me they’ve become greedy extremists.

syedalired21 · 2022-07-22T06:51:31+00:00

Yes. Many think that feminism means a movement for equal rights. But then we realise how corrupted the movement is and how disingenuous is the media coverage around all of this.

More power to you and thank you for the post.

I honestly feel that social media, mainstream media etc have ended up dividing us into two opposing groups with no room for overlap. Either Feminist or Misogynist.. most people (mena nd women) are reasonable.

capitanMorgan89 · 2022-07-22T09:53:51+00:00

Reddit Moderators now have a target on your back!

AtmosphereMinimum328 · 2022-07-22T17:58:13+00:00

Good to hear. I’m a gay man and I hear these feminists saying awful things and how bad the man is. How she will keep him from seeing his kids by claiming domestic violence. Really putting men down yet also sleeping with many different men. Not all but a lot. The hate. I once said the. Why do you have men over to fix things if you hate them so much. Also you have sex with them. All of a sudden I’m a privileged faggot that has no idea. These ugly woman need to be stopped

ILoveBigBoobsYesIDo · 2022-07-22T18:00:43+00:00

Yea OP. Everything you said, said by a man will be labelled all things under the sun. Crazy isn't it

kiadragon · 2022-07-23T00:59:39+00:00

Thank you. We appreciate you and what you have to say.

Be aware that you are now likely to receive a message from r/feminism bots telling you that you are banned from their subreddit for having the gall to post somewhere they don't like.

Trev6ft5 · 2022-07-23T05:11:00+00:00

It's good that you're staying away from feminists as mental illness among them is too common and Narcissist Personality Disorder types aren't healthy to body and mind. Better finding women who are on your wavelength.

Cody4969 · 2022-07-22T03:23:48+00:00

Currently white straight Christian males are the most targeted group in America. Any view that you take that isn’t apart of modern beliefs you are seen either as xenophobic, sexist, racist, homophobic, fascist, and/or all the above. I remember 8th grade well enough to here the chant of vote or Obama or you are racist. Then fast forward to 2016 to see videos of black people attacking white people because Trump got into office. Everything that I’ve witnessed has just made me believe that the only safe haven you can find is your own land and food and rifle by your side. The last attempt to have free speech was barber pole which was taken down unsurprisingly. And now if you have any conservatives views you will more then likely get doxxed or banned from websites entirely. Welcome to America

Derpalator · 2022-07-22T10:39:10+00:00

Wow. You my friend are clearly a dinosaur----in a good way! I still remember the good-old-days when a majority of females thought the way you do. Might I enquire as to your age? I suspect over 50 at least. Please pleasantly surprise me.

Akhlyr · 2022-07-22T13:03:39+00:00

This made my day better and probably others as well, thank you for writing

blueclitcommando · 2022-07-22T14:53:34+00:00

I’d like to point out I’m always considered guilty of something even when I haven’t even done anything wrong ,being white doesn’t help much with that either ,double dose of targeting. I’m used to it,I don’t really care anymore empathy level is pretty much zero. But for some people I can see it having a really bad effect on them to the point they start going on a rampage (it happened recently very close to me,some boy obviously had enough and snapped,got a gun and started popping people,in England) not defending his actions at all but something and someone drove him to it ,so in my eyes they are as responsible as he is for what happened. To think it could have been avoided if he wasn’t targeted because of his gender ,race and such is sickening ,targeted for absolutely no gain or reason 🤷🏼‍♂️

flameguy4500 · 2022-07-22T16:49:14+00:00

It has gotten really toxic in the last, maybe 30 years? But especially the last 10 have been extremely noticeable.

See I used to be a feminist too. But then I saw what awful shit people were doing in the name of feminism, and I hated being anywhere near them. I started calling the extremists Feminazis, but as their hateful faction grew and took root in mainstream feminism it became almost impossible to distinguish between what I call suffragettes (the women who fought for equal rights from the 1910s to around the 1980s) and the current, misandrystic feminsts, who's only goal is the eradication of the male gender.

Now, I'm here. I'll still stick up for women's rights any day, but only if men get the same rights. If a woman gets the privilege of avoiding the draft, so to should a man. If a man gets paid a dollar, so to should a woman. (Personally I think the wage gap is less of a gender issue and more of a worker's rights issue)

Recently I recovered my old twitter account, and the super feminist tweets on it made me cringe into another plane of existence.

Honestly, I don't know why we gotta sub divide all the issues we face into gender and politics. Can't we just let people be equal? Why must we hurt each other? Why is discussing problems men face suddenly make someone a misogynist? If I want more domestic abuse shelters for men and boys, that shouldn't make me a misogynist who wants to oppress women.

BrodieS11 · 2022-07-22T17:02:30+00:00

Truthfully, it looks and feels 90% are Feminists because it's "status quote" even though a good chunk of modern Feminists are cancerous...

IGotBigHands · 2022-07-22T19:50:16+00:00

I feel like feminism started out with good intentions but got side tracked and turned into a hate group.

_LordBread_ · 2022-07-22T20:30:21+00:00

Jesus I never knew that side was that bad… holy shit that’s terrible.

Spirta · 2022-07-22T20:59:09+00:00

You don't know why you were a feminist? Because it sounded good. Quite simple. Let me draw you a parallel. Hitler greatly improved working conditions in factories. Being a factory worker under Hitler was way better that under his predecessors and many contemporaries from other countries. So, supporting him sounds nice, right? Especially since you were ether a factory worker or you had friends and family who were.

Amnesiaftw · 2022-07-22T22:04:16+00:00

I’ve known a few feminists like that. One tried to use the white/cis/straight/male thing against me basically saying she’s uninterested in anything I have to say because of these qualities I was born with. So I was like actually I’m gay (i’m bi) and prefer non-binary (I don’t care about gender but I still present as a man). So she just simplified it to white male and disregarded my argument. I grew up with 3 sisters. 2 of which are my age and I’m familiar with their complaints. I’m certainly aware of some sexist shit men do (often ignorance is the problem). But most of the shit they complained about I related to myself. I think feminists tend to think EVERYTHING that makes them feel less than is due to men vs women. But it’s not everything.

Manux005 · 2022-07-22T23:02:27+00:00

Up until a couple of months ago I was pro feminism as well. I never thought about why, I suppose that's because of the feminists having more platforms to speak their mind, while MRA is rather frowned upon by most feminists. I first visited this subreddit out of curiosity, but then it made me think about the things feminists told us. They already achieved equality long ago. Now they aim for superiority.

JekobiWan · 2022-07-23T00:13:24+00:00

I’m glad you came around man lol

flashbang_out · 2022-07-23T01:20:21+00:00

Those weren’t feminists. Those were assholes.

thuebanraqis · 2022-07-23T06:48:08+00:00

Girl, your friends weren’t feminists, they were lunatics.

lemons7472 · 2022-07-25T19:32:38+00:00

I hear a lot that many people on this sub like you were once feminist, but slowly realized that feminism was only harming them, except for you, it seemed way more sudden. Your friends sounded like absolute psychopath, to the point where even I think feminism wouldn’t go that far…well with the threats of cutting off your husband privates I mean. Still tho, many feminist are just straight up assholes anyways.

Sinner12180 · 2022-07-22T02:49:22+00:00

In Nazi Germany, you'd be a member of the distance. Welcome to the team.

tuga_encaracolada · 2022-07-22T12:13:16+00:00

What your friends are doing isn’t feminism at all.

Sincerely, A Real Feminist.

sparkydoggowastaken · 2022-07-22T04:25:06+00:00

unfortunately feminism has left from its original, actual purpose of making women equal to men, which i and many people here support. i recognize i as a man have advantages women dont. but i am not going to say men have the advantage in everything because we dont. feminism now does say that, and extreme feminism like in your post thinks of men as way below women. its sexism turned up to ten. nowadays i identify as neither an mra or a feminist, because identifying with either group puts you closer to the far side of it, like the mras who are sexist and bigoted, and the feminists who are sexist and bigoted too. anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk lmao

Michaello45 · 2022-07-22T23:04:27+00:00

I will do precisely the same with posts about "all men"-Obligatory not all feminists

What you described are simply misandrists and hypocrites trying to pass off as feminists. They do little more than spread hate and toxicity, other than being used as an example of what is wrong with 3rd wave

Still we cannot forget that many, arguably majority, are true feminists that advocate for women's rights and status in society. We, as in the Western civilisation, came a great way in gender equality, yet women still face many social, economic or political issues.

That being said, i worry about rising levels of agresivness of previously mentioned group. It may be quality of youth to be so passionate about something, but in this regard it is directed in a very dangerous way. As OP described, threats towards entire gender are not only going unpunished, but being normalised and even praised, as long it is one specific gender. Blaming entirety and demanding responsibility not from those actually responsible, but all on the basis sharing said gender. Refusing to acknowledge that "gender of oppresors" is also facing issues. I could go on and on.

Such actions and mindset cannot end in a good way and i realise that how my country proverb goes "you hear the dogs that bark the loudest" (coined for populists precisely) but this lets call it movement is rising and becoming even more radicalised. In turn opposing movements do the same as radicalisation is never one sided process, and this little war grows

We need to fcking put it down from both sides but i have no idea how

Wood-lily · 2022-07-22T11:55:54+00:00

I lurk in a lot of gender rights groups. I believe in the definition of feminism from a political and societal perspective - that is, I want the sexes to be equal. I do not want any advantages being a woman may confer to me in society just because of a genetic coin toss.

I see a lot of self proclaimed men’s rights activists who are feminists by definition, and a lot of self proclaimed feminists who are actually misandrists by definition.

From what I’ve seen…there is a lot of anger and hate and frustration going on every side.

There are grains of truth in everywhere amongst the frustration and anger and venting.

BUT there is so much anger and frustration on both sides that it makes it hard to see things clearly. The venting looks like hate, but the grains of truth are obfuscated by the hate, so it just looks like hate.

I was a bad feminist until I lurked in Feminist, XX, Men’s Rights, Men’s Liberation, and Red Pill subs for about a year.

(Bad feminist meaning a self proclaimed feminist without a true understanding of what men rights were all about. I and am still a bad feminist because I think we are all works in progress and I will never be able to fully understand what men experience without doing a lot of listening).

I am happy you are seeing other sides, but I hope you continue your journey as I did, to know that it isn’t b an all or nothing black or white issue. One side is not definitively wrong and the other definitively right.

Pain exists on both sides.

Look for where issues overlap between feminist groups and mens groups and try to see where there is misunderstanding around a common goal that is obfuscated by anger.

Lurk to look for the grains of truth between the lies and hate. That’s where the answers are.

Don’t play into the hate and then bandwagon because it is fun. Be as critical of yourself as you are of others.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Educate your feminist friends where they are misguided.

Peace and love

bargantus · 2022-07-22T22:41:59+00:00

Im putting down 20 for fake

TheSnesLord · 2022-07-22T09:13:52+00:00

I just wanted to share that I care about men's rights

I don't really believe you.

Because I think that if you were to get into a situation where it's you against a man (such as in a divorce court), you'll magically be a feminist again and s**t on men's rights.

PotentialSecond68 · 2022-07-22T15:52:58+00:00

Once a feminist always a feminist 🖕

zalinanaruto · 2022-07-22T19:02:20+00:00

wait what? feminists hate men but they talk about how many men they fucked? I thought feminists dont have sex with men in general.

real question here. im so confused.

If I hate a woman i wouldnt want to have sex with her. I thought everyone's like that.

Aimless-Nomad · 2022-07-22T03:10:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

traveller1976 · 2022-07-22T12:13:33+00:00

Thanks for your honesty. Perhaps your return to justice, fairness and ahem, equality will yield much happiness for you.

Relativity_Star10538 · 2022-07-22T12:46:36+00:00

It really is a strange, almost cultish mindset. Very destructive and self-sabotaging. It's good to hear you're seeing it for what it is!

Sylvain_Bob · 2022-07-22T15:47:41+00:00

Former Feminist guy here. I was so young when I started believing feminism. I was like 12-13. I believed my life was worth nothing and that women were the strongest etc. Feminism got me into a deep hole, that's a reason I became depressed (and suicidal) until 16 (I'm 19 now). I fortunately got out of this hole thanks to some friends I made on a discord rp server (pls don't laugh at me). I'm so much happier right now, I was sort of freed from this toxic community. I'm happy you got out of there too, stranger

doomsday1021 · 2022-07-22T15:52:25+00:00

It’s probably influenced like bandwagon promotion and ideology that was presented and encouraged by your educators. It’s a common thing in western education.

geocitiesuser · 2022-07-22T16:18:29+00:00

You was brainwashed my guy

Popular-Spirit1306 · 2022-07-22T16:18:46+00:00

Interesting, glad you started coming to these conclusions on your own.

AChromaticHeavn · 2022-07-22T16:19:39+00:00

Welcome back to sanity. It's amazing to me how much men have gotten shat on for daring to want equality.

Roy_Battery · 2022-07-22T16:46:02+00:00

Feminism resulted in me being denied access to my son who I've not seen now for 8 years.

thinkb4youspeak · 2022-07-22T16:51:29+00:00

It's a fine line to walk in life being supportive of gender equality for all. It's even harder to take the high ground against people who claim equality when they really mean superiority and domination of any gender.

ShitFauxBrains · 2022-07-22T17:06:40+00:00

i had a similar experience. i realized nearly all my abusers were women and that men have always been there for me and have been loving and kind. their narrative that men are abusers and women are victims sickens me.

GuaranteeUpstairs218 · 2022-07-22T18:17:40+00:00

Yeah, I can relate. I’m glad you got out of there, there’s just too much hypocrisy to deal with on that side.

A9SteakSauce · 2022-07-22T18:43:19+00:00

It’s relieving to hear people wake up to it; thank you for realizing and seeing us as real people

guachumalakegua · 2022-07-22T19:03:14+00:00

I find it perplexing that many feminists that says they want to physically hurt men are they themselves not very physically imposing or physically capable of doing so, was that the case with your “friend”?

Sintar07 · 2022-07-22T19:24:11+00:00

The bit about them convincing you your father was evil was rough to read. Brings me back to high school and watching the first girl I ever actually loved be slowly twisted around and consumed by feminism until seeing her was like seeing some thing in her skin.

When I first met her she was a happy member of a happy family, she was so kind and considerate of others, and she loved gaming and science fiction and would sit with her brother and me for hours chatting about it. Then a few years down the road, the wife initiated a divorce over money, and when she was in this vulnerable emotional place, struggling with her family breaking apart, struggling with her faith, when she needed support and comfort and help keeping her life together, these opportunistic monsters pounced on her under the guise of friendship and tore her life apart. Pushed her away from her family, her faith, her other friends, pushed her to try casual sex, and I've always suspected some drugs. It was like seeing a pack of wolves cut the weak deer out of the herd in slow motion. First time I remember moving from "feminism is misguided" to "feminism is evil."

They got her to cut me out of her life, they convinced her I was just some creeper who hated women and wanted to pump and dump her. Maybe they even believed it; it sounds like something they'd project about men since it's a common enough trope and it was their own attitude towards love. They later got her to cut her father out of her life. The ex wife helped them there. I was on good terms with the dad and son still, so I heard a little about it secondhand. It was one of the most painful times of my life, and I hated her friends for it. I still do. I could never really bring myself to hate her. Even when I heard about her saying cruel things behind my back, I could only ever remember the happy times with her and feel sorrow for their loss.

Anyway, that was a long time ago. Almost 15 years, now I think about it. Half moved on, though I still think of that time, among others, when I see people saying "feminism is just about [insert positive sounding vagueness here]." Stopped quietly hoping to reconnect with her on any level myself several years back. But I've always hoped she'd reconnect with her father before he died. Your story and stories like it give me some hope she may yet see the light. I'm happy you made it out. Welcome back to humanity.

Namedoesntmatter89 · 2022-07-22T20:43:07+00:00

Dude get a life man. Stop trying to convince me to take such a depressing stance in my marriage.

dont-believe-me- · 2022-07-23T01:05:38+00:00

Sounds like you just hang with shitty people

wjdthird · 2022-07-24T03:13:09+00:00

Unfortunately my sister is a mellow feminist. Totally clueless.

I used to be a feminist and now I dont know why I was

Comments

You are a warrior.

Title	I used to be a feminist and now I dont know why I was
Author	bunnydigs
Upvotes	630
Comments	300
Date	July 22, 2022 2:43 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/w4z8pr/i_used_to_be_a_feminist_and_now_i_dont_know_why_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-used-to-be-a-feminist-and-now-i-dont-know-why-i.1124712 https://theredarchive.com/post/1124712