q4w: Who is your female role model on who you are trying to become?

darkvalleys · 2022-09-23T19:37:47+00:00

I’m fine being me

_revelationary · 2022-09-23T19:49:17+00:00

Celebrity role models are silly. Trying to behave like a famous person whose every word and action is filtered through a PR team and who has millions of dollars at their disposal to meet their goals is just not helpful.

I aspire to be like other women in leadership positions in my profession, or other women in my life (my mom and sisters are good examples).

poppy_blu · 2022-09-24T01:48:00+00:00

Love how OPs concept of a female role model revolves 100% around her relationship status and children.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-09-23T19:53:09+00:00

If a girl does NOT have a role model, then it means she is being guided by the streets

TIL I'm guided by the streets. Tbf. I don't like to drive my car of road. Too muddy and you get stuck. And worst case you have to ask for directions.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2022-09-23T21:00:15+00:00

Role models are meant for troubled inner city youths in an after-school program.

I admire women who are determined and resourceful, and have enough grit to forge a life they want.

Ainsleygz · 2022-09-23T19:31:27+00:00

My mom :)

2022-09-23T19:38:56+00:00

I don’t have a role model of either gender

growandappear · 2022-09-23T21:26:09+00:00

I only have career role models, and they're not relevant to how I socialize.

then it means she is being guided by the streets

Here's where you go off-road. Adults, generally speaking, are not guided by role models. They are guided by their own inner sense of direction, and the peers and family they admire. Are you counting these in your consideration of what a role model is?

chalkandapples · 2022-09-23T20:21:10+00:00

Most people have more than 1 role model. I'm only going to mention female role models, even though I looked up to a lot of male role models too. Since I think it's more of what you're looking for and to keep my answer shorter.

Mom - She's a doctor, had 2 kids at 28 and 30. She's still with my dad. She's supportive of my dad when it comes to tangible things (job, when he needs something tangible, taking care of him when he's sick/tired etc.), but her personality is harder than mine and is more opinionated than me. So my parents get into pretty big fights over really stupid things like which gas station usually has the cheapest gas, how much fertilizer to put on the grass, and politics from half a world away.

Grandma - Makes old age seem cool and not so scary/dreadful. She was a mechanical engineer manager that managed a large team which was very rare for her time. Asked me to teach her web development when she was in her 70's and was decent at it. Had 3 kids in her 20's. With my grandpa until he passed. Started a company in her 60's that sold specific fans needed in some machine and was pretty successful, I remember helping her build those fans when I was a kid. I'm pretty sure she offered to babysit often so she can get free labour from me and my brother/cousins -__-

Aunt - Made it really high up in finance. Very good people person and liked by everyone. She's so nice and interested in you / everyone. I feel like everyone looks forward to talking to her. I mostly admire her because I'm very introverted and wished I had this type of people skills. She also used to bribe me with toys and candy if I got good grades, which was sweet now that I realize she was trying to help me do well in school.

I have some fictional role models too, I don't like real life celebrities. Those are:

Sailor Neptune from Sailor moon - Just so classy.

Sora from Digimon - I just clicked with her personality, she tough but not mean. I like that.

Rhubarb_Fair · 2022-09-23T21:20:38+00:00

I don't have a single role model. I try to live by having a firm set of values, morals and principles, and do my best to apply them practically in life and with compassion. Guess that makes me "ho on the streets", apparently.

Honestly too, I think its good to look critically at the good and bad of another persons life. But to look at one single person and essentially try to copy their life, when you are not them (nor surrounded by the same life circumstances), is likely, in my opinion, not to be a good practice for one's own mental health

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-09-23T19:29:45+00:00

Malory Archer

risdeveau · 2022-09-24T00:17:45+00:00

I don’t need role models. I just note what is possible

bunnakay · 2022-09-23T20:09:35+00:00

I stopped needing a role model in my 20s. Before that it was my mom: generous, single, doesn't take bullshit from anyone (least of all a man).

growandappear · 2022-09-23T19:45:29+00:00

If I had to pinpoint just one it would be my mother. She excels at basically anything she does. Gorgeous, warm and bubbly, 200k salary, 99.9% of her employees and coworkers adore her, and she can also be authoritative and no-nonsense when the situation calls for it. We're very close and I tell her everything.

In terms of women on social media I admire and find myself inspired by, my trinity is glaminsta08, the.pinup.doll, and Angelique Noire.

YaKnowEstacado · 2022-09-23T19:44:22+00:00

My mom is a really strong person who I admire and try to emulate in a lot of ways. My former boss was someone I looked up to professionally and who seemed to balance being a professional and a wife and mom really well, so I've tried to model my approach to work-life balance after hers. My best friend is an eternal optimist in spite of many challenges and I find her inspiring. And that's just a few women in my life; there are lots of men I look up to and try to emulate in certain ways too. But I'm not sure I have one set "role model," just various people in my life who I admire for different reasons and think "what would so-and-so do" in situations where it's relevant.

Edit to answer the additional questions: My parents have been married for 46 years. Three kids. She had the oldest at 22 and the youngest (me) at 32. She was far more supportive of my dad than he deserved, and trust me he would say the same thing. Neither of my parents are easy people to get along with.

bluemooncookiedough · 2022-09-23T21:33:31+00:00

I never had a role model. I do what I think is right and make sure to always be true to my own moral compass. I have failed before but i always learn ftom it. Maybe the earth? Because in the end all I want is for this world to be full of happiness and love. And it gives me many answers when I meditate.

Qhoul424 · 2022-09-24T04:44:43+00:00

Morticia Adams crossed with the Trash Lady from The Walking Dead.

ciaogoosh · 2022-09-24T12:23:44+00:00

Nobody. I owe it to myself making the right (usually safe) choices and make the best of whatever I have to deal with.

ChadChasingB · 2022-09-23T19:43:01+00:00

My mom

Purple317 · 2022-09-23T19:54:46+00:00

I don’t have a role model per se - but my sister is someone I look up to. She’s brilliant, successful, kind, moral, interesting, and fun to be with.

Although I love my mother and have a decent relationship with her, she’s never been someone I wanted to emulate.

The person I most admired / looked up to was actually my Dad.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-09-23T20:24:04+00:00

my mom and my older sister. pretty much the two most badass women i know.

both successful, both happily married with children, both strong in their morals and convictions. big hearted and well loved, both of them.

Novadina · 2022-09-23T21:37:59+00:00

Why would my role models have to be female?

A big role model of mine has been my dad. Also my grandma, who commuted to the city and worked office jobs like I always have - but 80 years ago, unusual for a woman at that time.

A big female role model of mine that always inspired me is Susan Kare.

Edit: I’ve also had a number of role models that were coworkers or bosses. I’m in a male-dominated field so they are male. Also I thought of another female role model - my exes mom, she once told me the way to a successful relationship was always treat your partner respectfully and don’t take them for granted, no matter how long you’ve been together. I really did take that advice (my parents are bad role models for a functional family so I don’t look to them for that). Even after more than 15 years I still keep that advice in mind as I really did think it was a solid point, for example I always say thank you when my partner does something for me or for us, even the things we expect each other to do, like daily chores. He also thanks me when I do them too! It makes us feel appreciated. Also I never insult him, even if I’m upset (and again he doesn’t either, we really are on the same wavelength I guess).

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_Duriel_1000_ · 2022-09-23T19:55:18+00:00

I feel a bit old for a real “role model.” I do look to a lot of my friends who inspire me in many different ways — for how they live, love, work, how they get through difficult situations, the risks they take, the people they are to their friends. But I wouldn’t be able to point to one person as a role model.

My mom is like, my anti-role model. I learned from her life only who I did not want to be, how I didn’t want to be a woman in the world, and what I absolutely did not want for myself.

She was of the generation and social class that went to college only to find a good husband, got married at 21 to 23 max, never had a career and did only the stay-at-home mom thing. I saw how badly that life impacted her psychologically, and how vulnerable and helpless she was when life circumstances changed. She spent most of the back half of her life as a deeply, deeply unhappy person. I vowed very young it would not be me.

PlatypusPolka · 2022-09-23T20:20:13+00:00

Definitely my mother. There’s nothing she can’t create, cook or sew. She started off sweeping floors for a company at 15 to being the VP at 30 to owning her own company at 40. She celebrated beating cancer at 60 by going skydiving. She’s semi-retired now but still goes to work every day. She also started a modest latent career in local commercials and community theatre. Beyond all that, she’s a wonderful, involved mother, grandmother and great grandmother and auntie to the horde of her siblings’ kids.

2022-09-23T21:14:26+00:00

My grandfather. I didn’t have any female role models. Later, as a young adult, I wanted to write like Molly Ivins.

VulpixEevee · 2022-09-23T21:24:04+00:00

My role model growing up was my Dad. He's always been a constant model of pure kindness, selflessness, intelligence, morals, gentleness, and confident introversion. I wanted to be good, kind, resourceful, and smart, like him. He was an electrical engineer, I always wanted to build stuff like he could, to be a 'maker'. I am my father's daughter so it makes sense.

My mother was a mean bullying BPD alcoholic. She bullied me, called me thinks like "computer geek", just endless verbal abuse and scary threats. She beat my dad, cops called on more than one occasion. She also developed a terrible gambling habit for may years. She spent all his money on herself, never prioritizing us kids. I SO wish I could be like the other women in this thread and say my mother was my role model. But she absolutely was NOT.

I have strived all my life to be good and kind like my dad. I've also learned from his mistakes, and have done a lot of work on boundary issues and codependence issues (learned from him and my Mom's dynamic). I've also learned to speak up for myself more, and have more of a back bone, without giving ALL of myself away, like my Dad has. He basically gave up for the sake of me and my siblings. He gave up his life, his identity. I'm selfishly glad he did, because if it wasn't for him sticking around, I think I would have ended up on the streets, like the rest of the bad kids from bad homes in my neighborhood.

Anyway, my Dad is not perfect. But he's always been the #1 role model for me as a kid. I'll always want to be like him, his character is just pure goodness.

Please don't jump on here and say "SEE WOMEN SUCK and they will all do this if you marry them!". This was a very unique situation, I can't relate to a lot of people in my life as an adult on this issue because I simply don't know anyone else in my circles who's been through it.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-09-24T00:26:29+00:00

Hannah Arendt, Martha Nussbaum, Hypatia, Aphrodite, Sabina Spielrein, Katharine Janeway, Annika Hanse, Mary Queen of Scots, Queen Hatshepsut, Audrey Hepburn, Katherine Hepburn, Susan Haack, Eartha Kitt, Vera Bennett, Mary of Nazareth, Cersei Lannister, Grace Kelly, Lady Snowblood/Yuki Kashima, Emmy Noether, Toni Morrison, Thai Lee, etc etc

neutralhumanbody · 2022-09-24T00:57:21+00:00

My Aunt-In-Law. She is one of the most kind-hearted and intelligent people I’ve ever met.

Edit: Also, Amy Dunne

vindictaisracist123 · 2022-09-24T02:05:12+00:00

No one. Maybe that's why I'm mentally ill

2022-09-24T02:56:45+00:00

I view role models as people to take influence from, not to copy exactly. I would say my mom is my main role model tho we have out differences. As for public figures, I really admire glamorous, yet rebellious women, like Marilyn Monroe and Clara Bow. For more modern figures, Sana and Jihyo from the girl group Twice, Yuqi from (G)I-dle, Amy Lee from Evanescence, Lady Gaga, plus political figures like Elizabeth Warren.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-09-24T05:38:56+00:00

I really love my grandmother but how she reflected on her life was very interesting. She married young to a much older man and had six children. Her husband was abusive and when he died everyone was pretty much like "welp the old bastard is dead". It was at that point my grandma became who she truly wanted to be, after all her children were out of her home, after her husband died.

She loved her job and her friends and age traveled with them and her sister and did whatever the fuck she wanted with her home and she was kind and compassionate and realistic and she recognized how fucked up the world used to be. She almost never talked to me about her life as a wife or mother. It was the before and the after. When she did talk about her husband it was pain. She accepted less than she deserved and never did what she wanted because of the times, the sexism and bullying.

She was always so happy when I went to school dances with my friends, "it's so nice you get to go with your girlfriends, when I was young I had to wait for a boy to ask you or you couldn't go". She was proud I went to college. She was proud I did what I wanted and that I was my weird weird self. She encouraged me because I think it's what she never got. Despite having such a difficult life she was a wonderful compassionate person. She was funny and sassy.

I want to live a life she would be proud of. I don't want anyone to go through what she did.

So in a way a role model but also not following the same map, avoiding the pitfalls.

992702050602 · 2022-09-24T19:46:40+00:00

I don’t have a single role model. My journey is mine alone. I make my own goals, I get advisement from people I trust but ultimately, I make my own decisions. Public figures lead drastically different lives than the one I lead. I can enjoy and appreciate their content and their public personality, but at the end of the day, our situations are totally different so how could I be guided by a public figure?

My day to day activities are heavily guided by my own ambitions, my income, and my duties. My background and history is completely different from the person next to me and where I want to be in 10, 15 years isn’t necessarily like any of the people I’ve met or celebrities/public figures so what purpose would it serve to have them be my role model?

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-09-25T00:27:38+00:00

Many men don't believe that a lot of women are simply "thots and whores"/"for the streets".

I don't know anyone in humanity regardless of gender who I would consider a primary role model. You shouldn't try to be the best [insert other stranger here]. You should try to be the best you.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-09-25T07:15:38+00:00

Myself is my own role model.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-09-25T08:38:21+00:00

I don't have a specific female role model. Could be my grandma, grandfather left her with two kids aged 5 and 3 to be with another woman, and wasn't much involved in my mom's life. Still, she raised my mom and aunt very well by herself, never dated anyone else because of religion and she didn't have any time either.

My general role model in life is my other grandpa. He was a refugee in the capital city after his village burned down in ww2 when he was 9 years old. He also had polio as a child and his entire left side was paralysed. He managed to become a county judge (second highest judicial position in my country). My grandma also died when my dad and uncle were still in high school, and he also raised them well.

My parents have a stable, regular marriage, going strong for 23 years.

NakedStreets · 2022-09-26T01:00:47+00:00

It’s perfectly possible to have goals without having a role model. It’s perfectly possible to aspire to how one person leads at work, another person cooks, another person treats their family, etc.

StoicGypsy · 2022-09-27T03:26:31+00:00

I wouldn’t call her a role model since I don’t have role models I do not know personally, but I adore how Angelina Jolie seems to carry herself. She is so full of grace, intelligence, kindness and somehow blends strength with femininity perfectly.

She speaks openly about her past difficulties and uses her fame and money to give back when she could just sit back and enjoy her wealth.

Title	q4w: Who is your female role model on who you are trying to become?
Author	_Duriel_1000_
Upvotes	0
Comments	106
Date	September 23, 2022 7:22 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xm6o7z/q4w_who_is_your_female_role_model_on_who_you_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-who-is-your-female-role-model-on-who-you-are.1131950 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131950

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