Do you believe that work-husbands/ work wives exist? How would you feel if you found out that your S/O had one?

Willow-girl · 2022-10-14T03:54:04+00:00

I shared an office with a guy for five years. It was kind of an unusual situation; we were two white people working in a minority-majority environment in which white people were not liked or treated very well. I suppose that led us to bond more than co-workers usually do. It was a totally platonic friendship, though, and we didn't hang out together outside of work.

I lost touch with him after I moved on and we haven't talked in years. Wherever he is, I hope he's doing OK ...

hungrychick404 · 2022-10-14T04:12:35+00:00

Seems like it can easily devolve into emotional cheating if you’re calling someone your work spouse. You’re going to connect to some people at work more than others, but it’s disrespectful in my opinion to refer to someone other than your spouse as your spouse.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-10-14T04:20:29+00:00

Sounds like a friendship or an emotional affair depending on who you ask.

I'm of the opinion that someone who is married should not have very close, intimate friendships with straight people of the opposite sex. Catching up every now and then or hanging out in a group setting yeah, sure. But the sort of friendship that blurs the line between friendship and emotional affair, nope.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-14T03:02:42+00:00

I would not disrespect my husband by having a work husband. I may or may not have “work wives” or “twins” where we were thick as thieves and always worked together, ate lunch together, etc. Not lately though, since I haven’t worked in an office for 3 years.

Zuzutherat · 2022-10-14T04:35:06+00:00

I would never be accepting of that, why not just call them your closest friend at work? Best work friend? Adding wife/husband to the title makes it seem like emotional cheating, having someone in your life who may have feelings or feel a certain way about you should not be allowed when you’re in a relationship, that’s what ruined my first one.

2022-10-14T05:18:15+00:00

It often does become intimate, even if not sexually intimate. Works colleagues can develop deep emotional intimacy and have emotional affairs whilst it never crosses into the sexual. I don't think anybody would be comfortable with their partner having an emotional affair. For some people, their partner having an emotional affair is actually worse than them having a one night stand.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-10-14T06:32:56+00:00

Isn't that just called a friend? And yes my partner can have friends

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-10-14T03:23:50+00:00

Sounds like cheating

_revelationary · 2022-10-14T02:36:17+00:00

I think it’s a pretty dumb expression. My husband would never - that’s the polar opposite of his personality. I’d probably be a little bothered if some woman was referring to him as her work husband. He works with mostly men, though. As for me, I don’t have those types of friendly relationships with my colleagues. For better or for worse lol.

KombuchaEnema · 2022-10-14T13:02:13+00:00

I would never disrespect my husband by using the word “husband” to refer to any other man, even in a joking/silly manner.

That’s how a lot of affairs start. A lot of “I would never cheat!” types will have poor boundaries and then act shocked in therapy when they have to admit that they had an emotional affair or even a physical affair. “I never would’ve expected myself to cheat!”

Not cheating isn’t just about not fucking someone else. It’s about avoiding the “first step” of cheating, which is often something as simple as light flirting or a friend request on Facebook or whatever.

That’s why boundaries are so important. To me, referring to another man as my work husband would be that “first step” to developing an emotional affair. And even though I believe I wouldn’t let things progress beyond platonic friendship, I still avoid the “first step.”

It’s kind of like standing on the edge of a really tall building. I know I won’t jump, but knowing I could easily jump still freaks me out and I don’t want to be on the edge of the building anymore.

I would also be wary of any man becoming a good “friend” at work. All of my male friends are mutual friends between me and my husband.

EulenWatcher · 2022-10-14T02:31:42+00:00

That sounds like friendship. I'd see nothing wrong with but as long as it didn't become emotional cheating, i.e. my partner started seeking their friend company more than mine.

Barneysparky · 2022-10-14T02:47:23+00:00

I used to work with a guy who I argued with good naturally constantly. We had displays that we disagreed with each other on, when the other wasn't working the one who was was change it back, and so on and so on. It was a boring job, neither of us took it to heart and changing displays gave us something to do, when we worked together we'd "complain" about how the other was wrong.

My husband and his wife referred to us like that. Absolutely no sexual tension, just something in common (design sense and being right) that drove us into a very good (amusing) work dynamic.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-10-14T05:17:13+00:00

They do for spouses who enjoy pushing the limits of trust and fidelity.

"Work husband"?

Yeah, honey, sit down. We need to talk.

Smiling_Jack_1025 · 2022-10-14T06:36:26+00:00

I have work buddies that’s it I would never disrespect my girlfriend/wife by giving another women that title.

2022-10-14T03:45:29+00:00

I've never had a "work wife", it's not something either of us would do, nor want to.

If I was previously dating a girl who I thought had those tendencies, I would probably not see her as wife/mom material.

I don't think it's bad in general though, different people have different thresholds for what they are OK with.

I've heard that in hospitals, RNs hook up with MDs frequently. It wouldn't surprise me if the work wife/husband phenomenon happens too.

saraimarsena · 2022-10-14T04:30:24+00:00

i feel like it’s very real.

it’s a very fine line to walk, and can easily dip into “cheating” territory. depends on the strength of the relationship, and the personality of those involved.

me personally, i ended a messy situation with an abusive ex immediately when i realized i was catching feelings for a coworker. how’d i realize i was catching feelings? i got jealous when he referred to a mutual friend as his work wife. at this point in time, i would not be okay if he referred to someone else as a work wife.

KingWhoCared86 · 2022-10-14T06:37:23+00:00

I’ve had a couple work wives over the years. Both of them were married and I was seeing someone at the time. Her husband knew of me and never seen to bothered by it. My ex girlfriend was jealous of me hanging out with another woman while at work, which is ironic because she was banging people at her job. I think I have another work wife currently but its odd because I’ve started to like being alone and she’s desperate to be my best friend.

YaKnowEstacado · 2022-10-14T12:10:19+00:00

I can't think of anything more disrespectful

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-10-14T16:40:01+00:00

Lol my ex cheated on my w a coworker she said "were just friends"

Work wives and husband's cross the line

JuneChristine · 2022-10-15T07:10:53+00:00

My ex-husband had a work wife. He ended up leaving me for her sooooo 🤷🏻‍♀️ seems disrespectful to the title of “Wife”

JediNinja232459 · 2022-10-14T02:30:48+00:00

I know people who refer to someone as their work wife/husband. One even introduced them both to me at a Christmas Party by saying "This is my husband, and this is my work husband." I don't know how much they did together.

A colleague and I also refer to each other as work husband and wife, but we don't do everything at work together as you described. It's just a fairly close working relationship.

h1shman · 2022-10-14T04:05:52+00:00

I’d end the relationship no questions asked. I’d never date a women naive enough to think men can be platonic friends with beautiful women.

Patrickstarho · 2022-10-14T03:17:55+00:00

It definitely exists and I had a few. One of them was so heartbroken when I quit and she quit shortly after.

Another one was really trynna fuck me.

I’m the most loyal mfer ever. Looking back I wish I cheated. I still kick myself over it

LotBuilder · 2022-10-14T07:13:17+00:00

I’m divorced but my work wife is 18 years older and a good 225lbs with short hair though she is strait. She’s been my most trusted employee for 9 years. I would never form any kind of close friendship with a young, attractive employee. In fact I try to avoid hiring hotties for my main businesses because it turns into a distraction and they rarely last. I also own a bar and a mobile cannabis dispensary where I do employ young hotties but they are still a distraction with high turnover.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-14T10:00:29+00:00

As I understand it, it's just having a close friend of the opposite sex at work. So I don't really care. I don't think that being emotionally close with other people crosses any line I'd want to draw.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-10-14T14:44:29+00:00

I have a work wife. My partner doesn't really care except he does get a little amused when he can hear her melting down.

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FineDevelopment00 · 2022-10-14T07:33:34+00:00

Do you believe that work-husbands/ work wives exist?

Apparently they are indeed a thing, but I hadn't heard of them until recently.

How would you feel if you found out that your S/O had one?

Disrespected and betrayed, with a significant dash of fury. Oh, and deep disappointment because that's so unlike him.

Have you ever had a work husband/work wife and would you accept your S/O having one?

No, and 🔥👿🔥 no!

However it NEVER becomes intimate or crosses that line but it is definitely ON the line or just behind it.

I disagree. If one is throwing the title "wife" or "husband" around like that when said title should mean something profoundly exclusive, it's definitely crossing the line and looks like just another way to say you're cheating (or planning/wanting to) without saying... Nah scratch that, you're literally saying or at the absolute least implying it. (Meaning "you're" in the general sense, ofc.)

ashpr0ulx · 2022-10-14T07:46:18+00:00

i have men at work who i really lean on and bitch to and can count on to have my back, but i don’t really care for the wife/husband terminology. they’re just my colleagues or friends.

i do work with my partner though lmao so i guess there’s that.

2022-10-14T09:48:29+00:00

No, I would never. My office is male dominated so the few women have become pretty close.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-10-14T09:57:55+00:00

No, just an term of excusing emotional cheating. Titles such as wife or husband are simply between the bound of marriage.

2022-10-14T09:58:37+00:00

Having one if you’re committed to your Bf or husband or gf or wife is very disrespectful to your relationship and your partner regardless of gender. You as an employee are always replaceable

Capable-Resolve-2001 · 2022-10-14T10:17:38+00:00

I think these kinds of relationships are disrespectful to the alienated spouse, at best. I’d definitely consider it to be a form of cheating.

ChadChasingB · 2022-10-14T11:35:24+00:00

Is your partner calling them their work spouse or are you defining a close work friendship as that and asking if people would be okay with that friendship? Those are not the same thing.

Acaciduh · 2022-10-14T12:06:38+00:00

One of my very best male friends was a coworker but I never called him work husband seems a bit juvenile to me. We did become very close and at the time he was single. However, I did introduce him to my husband and they hit it off as well. He since gotten in a relationship and had two kids and we all hang out a lot together. I think as long as your SO is aware of the friendship and harbors know mistrust you can absolutely have friends of a different sex.

ExpensiveShoulder580 · 2022-10-14T12:31:45+00:00

That's a work bestie.

I don't even want friends of the opposite sex let alone a "work spouse".

bunnakay · 2022-10-14T14:23:14+00:00

I have a work wife. Not sure about the hubby, but he works with all men so I would assume it's a work husband.

sublimemongrel · 2022-10-14T16:11:12+00:00

My old boss called me his work wife. It’s very common in my industry for law partners to have younger right hand associates and mentees who spend an inordinate amount of time together, travel together for work, etc. he and I def had that type of relationship for almost 4 years. His wife, unsurprisingly, wasn’t a huge fan of mine, but honestly he exacerbated that for whatever reason. My husband didn’t give two shits, but I mean there was nothing on my end whatsoever that even resembled an inkling of romantic thought for my older boss.

He was never romantically or sexually inappropriate with me but he kinda was just inappropriate with our relationship in general so I’m not surprised his wife didn’t really like me.

Bad_texter · 2022-10-14T20:24:15+00:00

I had a work husband. His gf dumped him for it, my husband couldn’t care. It was completely platonic, and my husband knew everything. I’d share Anss explain jokes i had during the day with my husband as if he was my girl friends at work.

My work husband moved away but then came back. He treated me to lunch (just 4$), i said “thanks, is this alimony?” Lol

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-14T21:35:38+00:00

Seems like there’s definitely potential for it to become an emotional affair. Whether or not that happens, depends on if they’re attracted to each other as more than friends and how committed they are to their partners.

ThisBoringLife · 2022-10-15T14:37:14+00:00

I know they exist. I've seen it in my past work.

Sounds like a platonic relationship, especially since it's with a coworker.

You'd have to have confidence in your partner not to cheat on you, but I'd have no issue with it.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-10-16T15:18:38+00:00

They do exist in all fields, for the very brief time that I tried to work corporately, that was definitely a thing, and even then I have a work wife, she's one of the waitresses, she's even referred to as my work wife, my wife and her husband both know but we both know how each other work, everything goes smoothly, she makes sure I drink enough water especially when things get super busy, I've got candy for her when her sugar gets low, etc., there's absolutely zero attraction on my end lol

Title	Do you believe that work-husbands/ work wives exist? How would you feel if you found out that your S/O had one?
Author	studentsensei
Upvotes	10
Comments	71
Date	October 14, 2022 2:25 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y3hfui/do_you_believe_that_workhusbands_work_wives_exist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-believe-that-work-husbands-work-wives-exist.1135748 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135748

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