CMV: Polygamy is going to be the next big thing and it's going to completely decimate the dating scene.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-11-14T15:33:42+00:00

Removed for OP abandonment

Notanothrshitthrow · 2022-11-14T12:20:29+00:00

A huge difference between people increasingly considering it "morally acceptable" (which it is if all parties are consenting) and whether or not it's going to "take over".

The vast majority of people still prefer monogamy, it ain't going away. Thinking it's morally acceptable is completely different from wanting it for yourself, and hell it's still only 23% of people who consider it morally acceptable...

Gravel_Roads · 2022-11-14T12:23:11+00:00

Acceptance is not the same thing as "suddenly everyone will do it."

I'm saying this as someone who's had a life-long preference for open relationships: Most people want committed monogamy.

Poly people are just being shunned and shamed less, which is a good thing.

obviousredflag · 2022-11-14T13:11:59+00:00

Polyamory is not a mainstream thing and it will never be. The people are not in it for the reasons they think they are. And it really is not a Chad with many women, but really low desirability people being in a dysfunctional relationship that only lasts for a short period of time. A tiny minority of poly relationships really "works like intended". You can really see the true motives and issues the respective people have, when you watch documentaries about poly couples.

I have lived in a poly relationship with 2 girlfriends (for the wrong reasons and not stable and would never do it again. Now in an open relationship). I have talked to several poly people and observed their relationships, read and watched basically everything there is on the topic. It's NOT going to be a mainstream thing. People don't want that. It's a niche thing and even in that community it's a rare thing to work out.

Also, it's not going to work out regarding social peace. If one-man, many-women is the dominant situation (which seems like the only imaginable way), the main who get left behind regarding a partner will not accept this peacefully.

Very very few men are so attractive to women as long term relationship partners, that sharing them with even just one other woman would get them a better result than having a less desirable man for 100% of the time and his resources and affection. It's just not an attracte deal for most women. Yes, being the 10th wife of a king is a better deal for a beautiful lower social class woman than being married to a low social class man as a single wife, but there are not that many kings around to make that a mass phenomenon.

There is a problem of people extrapolating the 20-30yo dating phase and online dating to what happens after that with stable pair bonds and family planning. Some women rotate with other women for dating "Chad" while they are not looking to build a family. Sexuality can be shared with many women, commitment not. And they need 100% commitment from a man for the family building. Everything else will drastically reduce his desirability level.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-11-14T12:57:48+00:00

It might be more accepted for the minority of people that choose it. I doubt it will change much. Just like gay people being allowed to get married didn't change what straight people did. It's not like most people are too keen on the idea for themselves even if they're okay with other people doing it.

Polyamory is most commonly thought of as polygyny (in fact, the two are often treated as synonymous), not polyandry. Most of the representation in real life (certain religious sects only allow polygyny but the other way around is uncommon) and the media is of this nature.

BewitchedHare · 2022-11-14T13:48:58+00:00

Not sure if it will take off. I can imagine it being a longer term trend, but ultimately it has many flaws that people will wake up to. Polygamy is not great when it comes to raising children. We don't live in groups of 50 anymore where everyone takes care of each other.

Somehow I feel that sooner or later (later meaning decades) monogamy will make a comeback. I recommend the Paper: "The Puzzle of monogamous Marriage", which explains how monogamy could establish itself and spread around the globe even though it's unnatural to humans.

anjovis150 · 2022-11-14T14:11:36+00:00

Probably just a societal rationalization for the fact that ever smaller number of men are getting more and more women.

Goyeyo565 · 2022-11-14T14:37:44+00:00

Nah, marriage is already on the decline. Young people are struggling with marrying 1 person I can't imagine a lot of them would be interested in having multiple spouses.

Now if you're worried about polyamory, open relationships and Chad harems well then I hate to break it to ya but that shit has been a thing since forever regardless of what the law says.

wtknight · 2022-11-14T13:32:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Pastakingfifth · 2022-11-14T14:55:19+00:00

I don't think most guys are suited for it/desire it, when I tell people I plan on having five wives most guys think that's too many. Even guys that sleep around a lot.

PassMyGuard · 2022-11-14T15:20:17+00:00

Just because it’s on the rise doesn’t mean that it’s going to be anything close to the majority.

No need to be a doomsayer.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-11-14T15:36:08+00:00

I've known several couples that tried it. They closed the relationship or divorced within 0-2 years of the experiment. Typically they're couples with no children or children so young they have no concept of what's happening. They usually had very little dating experience prior to their committed relationship and felt like they wanted to explore what they missed out on.

A lot of the time it's often for financial benefit. If they move in together shared expenses decrease everyone's financial burden. But the relationship tension becomes unbearable.

It explodes spectacularly. I'm not going to shame someone for trying it. But I just quietly wait for it to blow up.

SirTruffleberry · 2022-11-14T12:40:12+00:00

Most governments would see no advantage in recognizing polygamy. It would be a free tax benefit that often doesn't lead to a stable family structure. Why would bureaucrats want that?

darksoul1622 · 2022-11-14T13:34:35+00:00

Okay people calm down I came from an country where polygamy is not only legal but also religiously accepted (islam) and it has been so for about a thousand years

Did it cause severe demographic problems? No most people stayed monogamous

Did a few select men get to hold all the women ? No only the top could practice polygamy and they are statistically insignificant and didn't really effect the success of the average man

How about the modern day do women now practise polygamy or accepting of it ? While most women accept it as a matter of religious ruling the vast majority will not accept to be made secondary wives and almost no educated gainfully employed women accept such a relationship, it is generally poor or extremely young women who accepts to be polygamous with men who are rich

So while Islamic polygamy is certainly problematic it is not a devastating societal issue and even though it is accepted as a matter of religious ruling it is practised only by a small minority.

Novel-Tip-7570 · 2022-11-14T12:24:40+00:00

You don't even know the difference between polygamy and polyamory.

And I don't think browsing TikTok counts as an organic source, for one its algorithm quickly updates for the user depending on what they've seen. Basically you dug yourself a little echo chamber on TikTok and count that as a source.

AnAugustEve · 2022-11-14T13:34:14+00:00

I have never seen an attractive person in the polyamory scene.

supershotmd · 2022-11-14T14:48:33+00:00

Polyamory is already practiced a lot more than reported. In nearly every survey, women report being "in a relationship" at greater levels than men do - how so if homosexual men and women are about the same percentage? And if you look at online dating, those top guys getting the lion's share of attention are not dating one-at-a-time.

Hi_mynameis_Matt · 2022-11-14T13:02:20+00:00

Polyamorous person here.

From reading this, I think you've got this weird ideation of what polyamory/polygamy is, and are conflating fundamentalist, patriarchal wives-as-property kind of culture with ethical non-monogamy. Let me tell you, it is not at all like that.

To that end, feel free to AMA I guess?

Hi_mynameis_Matt · 2022-11-14T13:00:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

UneastAji · 2022-11-14T12:36:52+00:00

acceptance is not practice

Americans love to wave around that people don't have such a big moral hangup about cheating in france. But americans cheat more.

This is a good example portraying america as the land of extremes, and europe is going that route too. So you may have more polygamous in the future, you will also have more rigidity in the monogamous people, resulting in less casual sex in general.

JumboJetz · 2022-11-14T12:45:46+00:00

I agree with this. Polygamy and even polyamory are dangerous for society as they tend to leave even more men out of the dating pool.

I think couple swinging where couples exchange partners 1 for 1 for a night is the only alt lifestyle that is sustainable at a population level. But 1 man having 2 or 3 girlfriends isn’t.

You could argue that will be balanced out by women taking on multiple men but that doesn’t seem to happen with the same frequency.

I think we need to be very careful as a society how we balance individual freedom to be poly with societal good.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-11-14T13:03:08+00:00

Well then the average man better up his game then and hope he gets picked or gives a women a good enough relationship that she doesn’t need to fill in the gaps with a women

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-11-14T14:24:53+00:00

Acceptance is different than participating in it. Most people accept that young dudes are going onto Onlyfans. That doesn’t mean everyone else just hops on, makes an account, or started selling nudes in the website. We just go. “Hey, it’s there did they guys that want it. Go for it”

Nodeal_reddit · 2022-11-14T14:29:31+00:00

The “next big thing” is going to be the push for legalization and normalization of pedeastry. The gay rights movement has cemented the idea that sexual orientation in in-born. And the trans movement is giving little children the ability to make life-altering choices about their physical gender & sexual preferences. It’s only natural that these two would come together and say that certain men are born with a natural affinity for young boys, and that the young boys should be allowed to choose for themselves if they want a relationship with an older man.

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supershotmd · 2022-11-14T14:01:08+00:00

I agree with you. It's not like gay sex or transgender surgery. A hereto woman adapting from having 1 man to having 0.5 of a man is not nearly as drastic. First it's cultural acceptance, than it's promotion, and then it's widespread adoption.

I would argue that within the next decade sharing a high-value man will be a legitimate option for at least a third of hetero women.

mrmudzi · 2022-11-14T15:19:25+00:00

Yeah, maybe some of you dudes crying about your lack of sex will get more shots on goal.

Should be good for you.

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-11-14T15:21:20+00:00

99% of women prefer securing commitment from a lesser value man. Then sharing a higher value man.

Cult_of_Chad · 2022-11-14T16:15:40+00:00

We're returning to monke. This is how our ancestors did it before the neolithic. Forced monogamy was an artificial construct that is not even universal in patriarchal cultures.

In the modern world I expect we'll end up employing multiple mating strategies, because humans are sexual generalists and so diverse neurologically.

We will see:

Pair bonding like the Gibbons. Mind you, that doesn't actually mean sexual exclusivity
Polygeny, like gorillas. Chad Silverback and his hypergamous concubines
Polyandry, like tamarins. For the horn dogs, the homesteading pioneers, the warriors and the daddies
And and a lot of wild promiscuity, like chimps or bonobos. Not sure yet which

Title	CMV: Polygamy is going to be the next big thing and it's going to completely decimate the dating scene.
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	28
Comments	159
Date	November 14, 2022 11:24 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yuwf3j/cmv_polygamy_is_going_to_be_the_next_big_thing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-polygamy-is-going-to-be-the-next-big-thing-and.1139888 https://theredarchive.com/post/1139888

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