The more attractive you are the easier time you'll have with the opposite sex!

Sensitive-Creme1627 · 2023-03-01T21:30:45+00:00

Being attractive is a catalyzer, but it works two ways: You attract more people you would like to, you have more options, but also some of those options are not being honest and just want to be with you for looks or status only.

Still, I would prefer to be handsome, for sure.

Capeninja · 2023-03-02T02:23:54+00:00

Whereas it is undeniably true, there is no point to be bitter of others' privileges or accomplishments. Being mad at what others have and you do not is a one-way ticket to the bitter-bus which is the most unattractive trait of all.

But one can absolutely be mad when others lie about the privileges not existing, and personally blame the people without them for what's simply a lack of luck.

Dagenius1 · 2023-03-02T03:46:30+00:00

Even simpler…the more attractive you are the easier time you’ll have with almost everything..

Backas_Before_Work · 2023-03-02T02:17:53+00:00

Reality is that women pick men. They pick us young, too. Around 12 for me was my first time. Since then, women have just picked me. They make the decision in a microsecond, who is attractive, who isn't.

No amount of struggling or having difficulty, will change this. Women want what they want. This is the reddest of all red pills. They choose. They pick. They do it early, and confidence is built up from that over time. If you have "difficulty" with women, it's because you don't have what they want. No amount of money, power, status, etc, can really ever change or fill the hole for the happiness that attractive men get for free. It's not even that difficult ultimately. For some men, it just happens. Consistently. And these men just don't even dwell on it.

Buildinsilence · 2023-03-02T03:42:30+00:00

Another way to think of it is like this:

Think of the top 1% of attractive guys (attractiveness defined as an overall thing that includes all the things that make women interested, looks, status, charisma etc)

Drake, Michael B Jordan, Thor, Channing Tatum etc

The closer you get to the 1%, the better your results will be

And it works exponentially rather than linear

A guy in the top 30% has 1 or 2 girls in his DM’s

In the top 20% has 3 or 4

The top 10% has 5 or 6

The top 5% has too many to count and just wants some alone time for a change

The top 1% is just trying to be nice and not hurt anyone’s feelings because he keeps attracting drama everywhere he goes and just wants peace in his life

I also think you need to take into account what type of dating scenario you’re taking about bc the criteria changes

The drunk bitch going home with chad from the club at 3am doesn’t give a fuck how much he makes per year or what kind of car he drives

The 28 year old who wants to start a family and settle down can’t stand chad from the club and wants someone who has his shit together and will be consistent

I think the context of what type of dating your taking about needs to be factored in when you’re talking about attractiveness bc different goals attract different things

Bekiala · 2023-03-01T20:05:27+00:00

I would think being attractive helps you find sexual partners and even long term partners but I'm not convinced it helps that much to form a working and happy marriage/partnership.

pet-davidson · 2023-03-01T20:18:45+00:00

That's why self-improvement is must for guys

Increase your money,status,chrisma,confidence,know female nature and you'll have the best time in dating and getting women

Safinated · 2023-03-01T20:08:14+00:00

That’s not good enough for transactionalists

They want guarantees

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ffandyy · 2023-03-01T20:31:36+00:00

So true

JDWhiz96 · 2023-03-01T23:06:48+00:00

"You're poor, but you need to be happy! Stop worrying about getting money, you loser! Just be happy, okay?!"

No one in their right mind would call this a reasonable response, but that is exactly what is shelled out to men on a daily basis.

daisydaisydaisy12 · 2023-03-01T22:00:48+00:00

R/noshitsherlock

gofigure62 · 2023-03-01T20:14:26+00:00

It's true up to a point. There's no looks maxing out of severe autism or personality disorders.

An attractive 40 year old autistic man went viral on youtube for never having a serious relationship last more than 2-3 months and he hadn't been with many women despite being attractive.

Familiar_Egg8802 · 2023-03-01T21:00:56+00:00

What is attractive along with the minimum/maximums are culturally and environmentally defined.

On an individual level you can maximize your own advantage while still advocating for a societal correction.

blackhumor13 · 2023-03-02T00:40:00+00:00

Very true. Everyone is just too hung about about gender in society that the constant argument is about men vs women. It's honestly always you vs you. The sooner people figure that out, the easier it easy to filter out anyone (man or woman) that sucks.

However, people get a mirror put up in front of their face and freak out. Everyone needs to adjust their expectations and work on themselves. That simple. All these posts are always about blaming the other gender. Both genders have issues, both genders have issues that have been exacerbated by the other, it's no more one gender's fault than the other. People just focus too much on what others are doing and not enough on themselves and what they should be doing.

NockerJoe · 2023-03-01T21:46:12+00:00

People are allowed to feel however they want about the hand life dealt them without some anonymous jackoff telling them that other people having better lives is natural and therefore they shouldn't have any emotion to it.

CLyD3_H3ffalump · 2023-03-01T21:14:34+00:00

Downvote for an obvious, repeated to no end on this sub, statement

wtknight · 2023-03-01T21:14:47+00:00

Sexual attraction is based largely upon genetics. Looks are only one component of good genetics. A guy who looks great but is openly a complete asshole with no intelligence or ambition will not do as well with women overall as a decent but not great looking guy who is ambitious, intelligent and treats women well.

The female equivalent will attract men for sex, but not many will want to stick around for a relationship.

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-03-01T20:33:07+00:00

These are just words really.

This doesn’t help a specific person who is pining after a relationship with a specific person who is stringing them along, dating them under extreme conditions, settling for them, venting to them about other relationships etc

NittyGrittyDiscutant · 2023-03-01T22:15:51+00:00

Smells like industrial bullshit.

NoInjury1499 · 2023-03-02T01:29:10+00:00

uhh noo! Wrong people wrong!

herinquisition · 2023-03-02T16:45:51+00:00

That's definitely true, although, even if you are conventionally less attractive, you could still have an audience that's interested in you. There are so many people in the world who like different things or are open. I think shifting perspective to thoughts and ideas that actually contribute to your productivity, well being, and happiness is important. The facts are what they are, but a lot has to do with how we approach reality.

That doesn't mean we don't acknowledge differences in privilege. I'm a "plus size" woman and I know that in many cultures, thinner women are the ideal. I know that in the dating scene here in NYC, if I were slim or even just "a little bit fat" (lol), I would literally massacre in the dating scene. It's just facts based on my aesthetic and personality - people generally think I'm pretty, cute, or beautiful, I'm very intelligent, enjoy "intellectual conversations" and depth, I'm friendly, funny, very talkative and animated, bubbly, and generally empathetic and kind with some sass as needed. I'm a catch, honestly. But weight loss, specifically healthy and sustainable weight loss, is extremely difficult to attain. So much of this is about different body chemistries.

I decided many years ago to not let the awareness of this disadvantage make me angry about day to day life or about dating. I am aware of the social issues and definitely think it's right to speak up about how fat people are treated and represented, but I can't simmer in that anger all day. To be fair, I've had my fair share of guys approach me whom I find very attractive. I have also felt insecure and unwanted at times as well. It ebs and flows, but the same has been true for my thin, conventionally attractive friends - and they've often attracted poor partners and had undesirable relationships. The grass isn't always greener.

We have to make choices on which thoughts to nurture because that shapes so much of how we walk through the world - and this also affects our attractiveness! Part of what attracts people to me is my confidence, style, and personality. I focused on my relationship with myself as the priority growing up - body positivity helped a lot there, as well as an overall focus on self-acceptance and happiness in my life. I had to choose to live now, not continue cyclical attempts at weight loss and waiting to be "lovable." I went on dates / talked to a lot of guys. I highly value myself and my peace, so I was picky af when I finally wanted a serious relationship. (I was picky before then too lol) Gremlins online saying fat girls shouldn't be picky didn't bother me at all. Bitter men online have nothing to do with my reality or my happiness and have zero power over my feelings - you have to decide that to be true for yourself or others will decide how you should feel for you and they won't be kind. So much of life is being self-possessed and having a solid sense of self, I swear. You don't have to be perfect and it's good be vulnerable and okay to be hurt, but you also have to be grounded and firm in who you know you are and how you feel about yourself.

Having said that, I do know that many guys don't want to date the fat girl. I can accept that as true and still be happy, confident, and have my audience. I think a lot of men are actually confused when they meet a fat girl they find attractive, for that reason. It's partly a social thing - they want to obsess over you in private, but not be seen in public. Because fat phobia and fat shaming are still social norms and we often care what people think.

Live your life and be open! Try to be positive and work on self-love. It can affect so much. The way I dress changed after embracing body positivity. Guys approached me before that, but it definitely made a difference. Not just because I looked better and now wasn't afraid of getting attention and therefore less defensive (definitely that!), but I moved differently and I also treated people better tbh. I dressed to hide before that tbh, and I hated/feared both possible attention from guys and possible rejection. I found that through body positivity/self love/self acceptance, my internal dialogue changed from criticism/negativity to empathy/acceptance and my external relationships mirrored that, as they often do in how we treat others vs. ourselves. I really wish more men here understood that and really let that sink in, opposed to drowning in misogynist pseudoscience and bs narratives. You may think it's just your looks but if you're bitter af with a chip on your shoulder against women and insecure, it's most likely not just that and it probably shows in how you approach women and how you treat them while you're with them. And that's a harder pill to swallow, tbh - I've been there. It's one thing to blame the world for not seeing you as attractive for things out of your control or very difficult to change - it's quite another to realize that people who were attracted to you were put off by something negative that you didn't think you embodied or didn't want to see/swept under the rug. It can be painful. I'm probably the feminist harpy of your nightmares, but I can empathize with men on this point. That shit can hit you and it hurts to realize that maybe you didn't treat people as well as you could have, but you didn't see past your own bitter insecurity and self loathing at the time. I kid you not - how late teens/early 20s me interacted with friends and family was a world of difference after this shift in my later early 20s/mid 20s. It was like a dark cloud lifted within like a year or two. A good friend of mine hadn't seen me in a while before we decided to jet off to Europe together for a year and she said I seemed like a different person. This affects attractiveness! I was never an intentionally mean person, but that insecurity and bitterness seeps out even when you didn't mean to hurt someone. This will likely affect how you interact with people. So focusing on self-love and acceptance in a healthy way is actually the most logical choice if you want to be the most attractive that you can be. Anyway, I'm so glad I went through that journey very young, as maturity should come with age, but so much of where we end up is about choices.

All that is to say that I've had very conventionally attractive guys into me, while being fat. I actually think the men who approached me in public would be considered more conventionally attractive on average than the men who messaged me online, and that makes sense - they would be most likely to have the confidence to do so. My current bf (and I believe he is my person <3) is oddly in a similar "league" as I am when it comes to looks. (I don't really believe in or focus on "dating in your league" but I know how many people here think.) He's also overweight (he's losing weight at the moment actually), I think he's quite handsome, and he's 6 ft tall. I look at him and get giddy often - I'm very attracted to him. He has this smirk that kills me, I love that he's tall and has broad shoulders, I think he's handsome and nice to look at, and he has the blue eyes + dark hair combo that gets me. I actually like his facial hair and he has really nice hair for a mid-30s guy, as many men start balding and losing their hairlines by now. (I'd still stay with him if he lost his hair lol) Most important is our connection and who he is as a person. No relationship is perfect, but we're so happy, affectionate, and playful when we're together and we resolve conflict so well, which is huge for me. We have healthy boundaries and communicate our needs. We compromise, and he cares about making me happy, as do I for him. We have similarities and differences that keep us connected and balanced. He's secure enough in himself that he doesn't feel the need to control me and doesn't have misogynist views on women. His strength as a person and a man means he doesn't need me to be weak for him to be strong - we work together. He loves hearing my opinionated perspectives, we find a commonality in discussing logic in arguments, and we make space to talk about things we both enjoy together - politics, science topics, work, games, etc. We have similar core values, which was a high priority for me - he's also an atheist and identifies as a leftist, although our political views are not exactly the same - we're in the same book though. We have similar views on how we might parent a child if we have one and we talk about these things often. When we don't agree, we discuss. And because I know how so many people here focus on SMV factors like income, I'll add that he's a high earner in the top 5% for individual USA incomes.

I'm very happy - and I think spending the time to focus on myself and growing in the ways I mentioned was extremely key for me to show up in this relationship the way I have. He always tells me he's the most comfortable he's ever been in a relationship, he thinks I'm the most considerate of his feelings, he feels validated and desired and he thinks I'm thoughtful and very good to him. If I didn't work on myself and self-love/self-acceptance in a healthy way, I don't think I would have been the kind of partner I'd want to be for someone and I don't think I would have chosen well either. Love yourself, people!

Title	The more attractive you are the easier time you'll have with the opposite sex!
Author	Ok-Expression7575
Upvotes	39
Comments	151
Date	March 1, 2023 8:01 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11ffv07/the_more_attractive_you_are_the_easier_time_youll/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-more-attractive-you-are-the-easier-time-youll.1153915 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153915

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