Dating apps are a good thing

CptKillsteal · 2023-05-17T06:33:12+00:00

If your target on the app is men then yes. If your target on the app is women then no.

keebydee · 2023-05-17T05:44:39+00:00

Most men can't even get matches or get flaky assholes nonstop. How are we not supposed to hate them? "I love destroying my self-esteem for no reason! 😁"

Zabadoodude · 2023-05-17T05:19:34+00:00

If OLD works for you, that's great. The issue is that for many people it doesn't work that well, but they are too afraid or lack the skill to meet people without them.

Having all the options for age, education, height, etc. can commodify people and make genuine connections harder.

Youngking41 · 2023-05-17T05:24:47+00:00

Just because there are tons of hot people on an app doesn’t mean you’ll be able to snag one. The hotties like the validation. The apps ensure only a small number of people have real choices while the rest are scrambling for who they can get

SDinAsia · 2023-05-17T06:24:20+00:00

It's much easier for an average woman to get casual sex off dating apps than an average man. Not really agreeing or disagreeing with you, just pointing something for you to consider.

Complex-Hat1875 · 2023-05-17T07:07:51+00:00

There's no way you could have that many options without dating apps.

I think that's one of the bigger reasons why people are pissed at the apps existing. You're not attempting to be the best man in the room anymore, but the best man in your nation. Additionally there's the frustration from filters existing so people feel pressured to lie on certain things to maximize their profile exposure, an example being you've been vibing with a dude for a couple weeks only to find out in person he lied about his height. He's great otherwise but wouldn't have been given a shot originally since you wouldn't have seen their profile had he been honest about it due to you filtering it out anything below 6'0

I dont get why guys complain about dating apps when they literally give you access to thousands of hot girls.

Because on the apps men outnumber women at least 3 to 1 and as such you're fighting every man within a 100 mile radius for even a mid woman's attention. I personally don't get satisfaction when I receive shitty 2 worded replies just because a cute girl sent them.

Its also great for casual sex. I mean anyone looking for casual sex can simply go on there and before long you will find someone. Its easy...I thought guys would be happy that tinder is also partly seen as an easy hookup app and is how a lot of people access casual sex.

The average man is not getting consistent casual sex on these apps, what reason do they have to be happy that Adonis is?

If it works for you, cool, but I've certainly had more negative experiences than positive at this point. Many times I've thought conversations were going well, dates were set up, and it all lead to nothing because they found someone "better" where as every time I've hit it off with a woman IRL it actually lead somewhere.

AshxInfernape · 2023-05-17T16:14:47+00:00

Why don’t you make an average male profile on a dating app and give us a report back.

DerayRevan · 2023-05-17T05:24:33+00:00

"Yet l love them"

Congrats

eefr · 2023-05-17T06:22:25+00:00

OLD can be a real advantage to people who are too introverted to go out much, I agree. It's also helpful for LGBTQ people because they don't have to suss out whether the person is attracted to their gender.

That said, I hate them myself. Not because I don't get matches, I do. But I find it so impersonal that I struggle to care enough to meet anyone, and there are so many people that I find it utterly overwhelming. It stresses me out a lot.

I know lots of people who have found great relationships through OLD. For myself, though, most of my significant relationships have been with people I met in person.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-05-17T09:39:09+00:00

Its also great for casual sex. I mean anyone looking for casual sex can simply go on there and before long you will find someone

For me and an increasingly dwindling number of men, sure. For the majority of men, no it isn't. And most women aren't that interested in casual sex.

So all the men who want to have casual sex are competing for the thin slice of women who are down and open to casual sex.

I dont get why guys complain about dating apps when they literally give you access to thousands of hot girls

Maximum LARPitude and reality blurring here. The vast majority of men --- and now this also includes most of the men in the group who can get casual sex off the apps --- do not have consistent access to "hot" women.

Dating apps also allow you to find the perfect person for you.

No one uses them for that. They use them to find a partner who is (1) attractive and (2) the right race, per research.

EverVigilant1 · 2023-05-17T13:43:41+00:00

OLD/dating apps are a good thing.. for women and for very attractive men. They are horrible for all men other than the most attractive ones.

Most men can't use OLD for much of anything. OLD intensifies the focus on physical appearance. Most men don't get a chance to shine unless they're actually out there in the real world where all of them is on display - not just their average faces or bodies.

Most women can't really evaluate a man unless and until they actually meet him in person - actually put eyes on him, all of him, head to toe. Interact with him. Hear him talk. See how he presents himself, and how he uses his best attributes and downplays his worse ones.

Most men don't get access to "thousands of hot girls" through OLD. The best they get is access to their photos and can message only after they pay for a membership. Why do that when pr0n is free?

It's extremely difficult for most men to get casual sex. I mean, I suppose they could if they dropped their standards into the subbasement, but most men just won't do that.

If we took away dating apps, it would force people (especially introverted men) to be more social. In decades past, introverted men and the men we call autists and incels now were social because they had to be. If you weren't social, you just languished, so instead of doing that, you got out there and you socialized. You found a way. You made something happen. You had to be proactive. You learned socialization because you had to learn it. That's what we should be doing now - you make these guys learn this. You start teaching it in school. Same with increasing numbers of women - you need to start learning how to socialize with others without using devices and instead using your voices, bodies, hands, and eyes.

OLD isn't really all that good for women either. All it does is give women so much choice that they can't settle on one. All it does is give women access to orders of magnitude more men for casual sex. Women had this already - it's just that they have way, way more of it now. It hasn't been good for women.

No, OLD isn't good for most men. It's not good for a lot of womenro either.

Hot-Law2682 · 2023-05-17T05:44:20+00:00

I am fairly introverted, parties and cold approaching did not lead to any success for me. So far dating apps have been a great way to meet people and I have started multiple relationships with people I met on them.

In case people think I'm a chad, I'm not: (5'10, lean/skinny, 4/10 face maybe, nerdy/indie vibe)

~60% of men claim they had a positive experience with online dating so I am not alone.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/02/key-findings-about-online-dating-in-the-u-s/

Safinated · 2023-05-17T06:19:17+00:00

If they work for you, they’re good

If they don’t work for you, they’re bad

And if they don’t work for you and you’re resentful of that, you will complain and try to get them banned

Pretty simple

Sadly for their opponents, dating apps are voluntary, legal, and popular

unknown646468 · 2023-05-17T14:32:21+00:00

I was gonna say you must be a hot dude but it turns out a woman wrote this, of course its gonna work well for you.

False_Cod_4747 · 2023-05-17T15:31:10+00:00

"I used to do that and its quite good validation having 5 hot guys complimenting you and messaging you all the time."

Such shallow dopamine. Surely you don't think those guys are exclusively messaging you either? 🤦 I could put my cock between my legs and wear a wig and I'd likely get OLD matches knowing how desperate guys are.

I used this analogy before but it's like me bragging about scoring 5 goals in hockey.......... Except it's against a team of retarded disabled kids

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-05-17T08:19:00+00:00

Enjoyable for a short while but soon become tiresome!

Roxenoff · 2023-05-17T13:16:46+00:00

Most of what you wrote about introverts and filtering in the first few paragraphs are fair points.

The rest is very naive about the experience of others (particularly most men), however. You are projecting your own experience of dating apps and think its the universal experience. Only a small percentage of men can access casual sex on the apps.

Putting aside the casual sex and addressing your last point about meeting a partner, again I think your overall perception is skewed by your own experience of having a lot of options and then being able to whittle down the one you like the most. It's a female-centric perspective because the average woman will have a lot more options than the average man. Of course, the more attractive a man is, the more options he will also have, just not anywhere near the same amount that women have on these apps.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-05-17T18:37:53+00:00

If it works for you, good on you. But not all introverts are attractive. Most introverts are unattractive and these dating apps are nothing but shallow. What is the first thing you see on any dating app? Looks. You think women will take their time to read a bio? Fuck no. These dating apps opened up so many options for women that the guys who are average are put aside. The average man is doomed nowadays in the dating market mainly because of dating apps. Average dudes barely get one match a month and it's usually a girl promoting her Instagram. Why would guys love dating apps in the first place? You think we love destroying our self esteem?

SexiestmanaliveOG · 2023-05-18T15:12:54+00:00

I beg you, make a tinder profile pretending you are an average looking guy. Do that and get back to us with the results.

ROBYoutube · 2023-05-17T05:18:36+00:00

I cant see any negatives to dating apps.

Really?

I can see an argument for dating apps being a net positive if you wanted to argue that, but saying you literally can't see any negatives means you have gone out of your way to avoid information that contradicts your current world view.

I'll give you one:

A [Tinder] spokesperson said, “There are definitely registered sex offenders on our free products.”

daddysgotanew · 2023-05-17T14:11:13+00:00

You’re a woman. Of course it works for you.

bodaciousbonsai · 2023-05-18T16:37:42+00:00

If you're a woman that enjoys casual sex or one of the tiny minority of men that has access to casual sex, then yeah, they're great. Everyone else? They are absolute garbage that prays on the underprivileged.

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wtknight · 2023-05-17T11:11:17+00:00

I agree with a lot of what you said except that you don't mention the gender skew. The fact that there are usually many more men than women on dating apps makes things much more difficult for men who don't have appealing profiles for whatever reason.

KingOnixTheThird · 2023-05-17T14:13:17+00:00

Online dating apps work best for good looking introverts. People who may lack the interest or the social skills to go out, but are still attractive enough to at least get some initial interest from the opposite sex.

You also have to be fairly thick skinned to use online dating because you will be rejected, ghosted, and left on read quite frequently and you have to be able to handle this without being devastated. Not everyone can handle rejection but I believe it's essential to online dating, otherwise you're going to have a hard time.

RedditAlt999 · 2023-05-17T14:29:17+00:00

Dating apps also allow you to know that the other person is interested in something more than just being friends. In the real world it can be hard to scope if someone is single or interested in you romantically

Dating apps also allow you to find the perfect person for you. You can refine the age to what suits you, you can see what they look like, their job, education etc.

These are all the exact reasons why I like dealing with apps over approaching irl. 90-95% of the women I've dated or slept with I met via apps vs in person.

I mean it gives people SO many options. There's no way you could have that many options without dating apps.

And there in lies the problem. The paradox of choice. Women typically don't like having to make choices, usually won't and will continue monkey-branching due to FOMO thinking "the next Chad I meet will commit" . When they make the wrong choice they complain that "all men are terrible", not the ones they chose.

I dont get why guys complain about dating apps when they literally give you access to thousands of hot girls.

"Getting swiped left" isn't access. Just seeing them on the app isn't access. Even matching with them isn't access. Getting them on a date, which is the equivalent of pulling teeth, would be access, but good luck.

Active-Razzmatazz-86 · 2023-05-17T21:26:00+00:00

It's great for 99% women and chads to meet and date.Its not good for most men

HazyMemory7 · 2023-05-17T21:58:09+00:00

I used to do that and its quite good validation having 5 hot guys complimenting you and messaging you all the time.

I cant see any negatives to dating apps.

This is why you see no negatives, you have no clue what the experience is like for men.

I met my partner off tinder. Its quite easy to find your person off there.

So did I. Had casual sex with hot women I met from there too. Dating apps are still shit for most people, men especially. They artificially inflate women's standards, because women get flooded with so many options, and they can't differentiate between sexual interest and interest in an actual long term relationship/dating seriously.

My gf is absolutely crazy about me, she thinks i'm a total catch. I think I have a lot going for me, but if we were both to hop back on dating apps she'd get 100+ likes daily and could hypothetically have sex with 3 different men a day if she wanted to, whereas for me it would be dramatically harder and may take a few weeks to have casual sex once.

screen_silver · 2023-05-17T22:44:15+00:00

Dating apps are good to see what’s out there but not good to find a wife.

calfshrug · 2023-05-18T00:30:27+00:00

But I can’t meet people on them… I’m like 50-70th percentile looks for a young male, but o don’t get any matches except for the odd cismale-born queer or non binary or fat girl, and they never have interest in me besides only people who ar either attention seeking, selling content, scamming, or are below my level of attractiveness (and know I’m probably only looking for sex), therefore I can’t make any connections.

And if I try to use the apps to just hang out with people platonically they’ll likely feel used or downtrodden, as I always do, and there will be no real connection even on a friendship level because neither of us have any common friends or history

2023-05-18T01:59:00+00:00

The troll posts are getting out of hand.

Highonuppers · 2023-05-18T02:00:25+00:00

As an introvert, I don’t think I could’ve met anyone irl bc I don’t rly go out a lot. In my experience, I like it, that’s how I met my now long term boyfriend lol

throwaway316stunner · 2023-05-18T19:14:28+00:00

As an introverted, autistic man, I have to disagree when it comes to the opportunity.

I tried OkCupid, Bumble, Hinge, even Hiki. None of them were successes.

eternitypasses · 2023-05-20T13:02:12+00:00

As an average to below average woman, dating apps were the best thing to happen to me. I went from having no dating prospects to having a lot… more than I thought was possible.

But I didn’t take it seriously tbqh, it was mostly just for an ego boost. I never really met with anyone on online dating specifically. But I did meet with men I met on the internet in general. So all in all, internet is good for meeting other introverts. If there was no internet, I basically never would’ve had a boyfriend.

Title	Dating apps are a good thing
Author	Glowupgirl111
Upvotes	0
Comments	81
Date	May 17, 2023 5:03 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13js1bq/dating_apps_are_a_good_thing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-apps-are-a-good-thing.1219515 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219515

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