I genuinely think dating for women is dangerous... but dont understand why women risk sleeping with men, why?

SianOiseau · 2023-07-24T05:59:06+00:00

There is bad sex and good sex. Some women have more negative or positive experience and when people complain online they rarely bring counter examples.

Sex can be good for women. It can be great. It takes some time and experience, a partner who cares about you and you being in the right place yourself.

To counteract examples you've read, I have a really positive experience with sex and sleeping with men, although I've ever slept only with my husband. He's gentle, caring, always makes sure I get to the peak and that I'm not in pain. I want to have sex with him and I know that he cares about me and my pleasure. I'm sure there are more men like this and he isn't some kind of abnormality or a rare exception.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-07-24T04:59:34+00:00

My guy, I don't know if you're incapable of retaining information or what, but the answers to your umpteenth ''why do women date and have sex'' question have already been given. Many, many times. I don't understand why you keep making more-or-less the same exact thread every week when you clearly don't use this information to learn about women or dating. At this point, it just feels like you're either trolling or you're looking for a specific answer that you've already decided is the truth and you'll just keep asking until someone confirms your preconceived notions.

As for the ''men enjoying hurting their partners'' thing - some do and most people don't like being hurt on purpose (there are exceptions). Most times any pain caused is mostly due to being clumsy and/or inexperienced, rather than being actively malicious.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-24T04:36:30+00:00

I’ve had some amazing sexual experiences with some very cool men. I wish it could be like that for every woman. It does not negate that there are women who have had bad, even horrific experiences, but most of my negative sexual experiences have been more clumsy than malicious.

Avakaaya-karam · 2023-07-24T12:22:14+00:00

Dude, clitoris is in the same spot of vagina for all women. It's not in some mysterious spots. Just like different sizes of dicks there are differents shapes and sizes for clitoris and labia but they are all in same spot for everyone.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-07-24T09:20:42+00:00

Because we're horny, and people will often have sex when they're horny even when it isn't the best idea. We like sex. There's good sex and bad sex, absolutely, but we pursue good sex. Even if we don't orgasm it feels nice and it's fun. Even if it hurts people can find the hurt to be worth it. Or do it anyway because, I repeat, we're horny.

Sonia314 · 2023-07-24T08:55:32+00:00

Regarding the orgasm question:

I've probably never had an orgasm (apparently that's a side effect of medication I've been on since I was a child). However, sex is still by far one of my favorite activities. Sex is still a lot of fun even though it's harder for us to orgasm than it is for men.

Regarding the violence in porn question:

The research I've seen so far finds women are more into violent porn than men on average. https://aella.substack.com/p/women-prefer-more-violent-porn-and

The study in that link is unconventional, but a prominent social scientist with a conventional background came out in support of it here: https://astralcodexten.substack.com/p/selection-bias-is-a-fact-of-life

Regarding the violent irl experiences you described:

A ton of women are into pain, degradation etc. If we are indeed more into this kind of porn than men on average, I would expect that to show up in the kind of sex we ask for. It sounds like those men were being disrespectful to their partners because their partners had not expressed interest in those kinks. However, it's a problem with the men's bad communication, not with the kinks themselves.

Please don't feel bad about being attracted to women!

JulesK00044 · 2023-07-24T04:51:53+00:00

Most the women I know love sex some others are just indifferent and find it a chore on a long list of other things they need to do. If they are not enjoying it is normally medical, hormonal, low libido, high stress levels or with an inconsiderate man.

Sounds like the one describing sex like that is just explaining it in a very negative light but thats her when in reality it's more tied to who it is you are having sex with. Sex with an actual boyfriend/ husband if you are compatible is amazing.

Hook ups mean men don't need to make such effort so I think disapointment is more likely so don't expect too much and in turn it can make a man (and woman) not make much effort in relationship sex as they are thinking they are good because they achieve hook ups. One night stands are quite pointless for majority of both sexes.

Men do need to stop thinking women want what is in porn though or being so focused on a fetish can be a turn off. Sometimes you are just not compatible sexually even if everything else is good

NJFlowerchild · 2023-07-24T13:21:54+00:00

It talks about how a vagina and the clitoris can all be in different spots of a vagina for all women

No, they're always located in the same spots. The clitoris that you can see is located externally to the vagina. The vagina is only the interior portion of the sex organ. What men think of as seeing "pussy" is the vulva and labia. The clitoris is located at the top of the vulva, outer lips, and extends internally around the vagina about 4 inches. The depth and sensitivity of the nerve endings vary woman to woman. Some are more sensitive than others and more sensitive at different spots.

Is that how women view sex?????

No, that's how children, she was 15, correctly view porn.

If women view sex like this, why even have sex???

Sex doesn't involve pain. This is how they're seeing or feeling after violent sex.

why do women date and have sex at all?

Because men are not a monolith of violent arrogant freaks that believe it's okay to ignore her consent and what she wants in bed.

Why do women who continue to have these bad experiences with men... continue to be attracted to men???? I just dont get it.

Not all men or women are the same. There's a lot of shit people of both genders that are only out there for what they gain for themselves. That's why you vet.

learn2earn89 · 2023-07-24T04:20:39+00:00

If it helps, I’m 33F and I don’t participate in it.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-07-24T08:57:52+00:00

Because sex with the right man is earth shattering

When you both care about each others pleasure and are sexually compatible it’s the best feeling in the world

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-07-24T11:04:42+00:00

Well you’re right that porn has made sex quite unpleasant for women a lot of the time. There is a reason we are pickier about who we sleep with and typically want to wait longer than men do. However, that doesn’t mean women don’t still desire to have sex and relationships and won’t keep trying after some bad experiences, because it can be good when you’re in a relationship with someone who cares.

lacuti3 · 2023-07-24T04:34:57+00:00

It’s women’s nature to use men to make their lives easier. It’s been like this for tens of thousands of years.

Women don’t care how insecure/depressed men are, they don’t care if incels shoot up schools out of sexual frustration or if men kill themselves. They’re not trying to validate men or alleviate their suffering. Women vary in how much they care about sex and you would be surprised how common it is for them to care very little for it lol.

The one thing all women have in common whether they’re consciously aware of it or not is they want men stay sex obsessed so that they’re easy to exploit. The sooner men accept this and reduce their ego (need for validation) the happier they’ll be.

Men don’t care about women they only care about spreading their seed. Women don’t care about men they only care about money, emotional validation, and making their lives easier. People don’t care about other people in general.

PrinceJamRoll · 2023-07-24T15:11:37+00:00

In my experience every woman's vagina is located in a different part of her vagina

icebluefrost · 2023-07-24T11:53:34+00:00

There are a lot of guys like this. They don’t deserve sex or relationships and should be publicly shamed for it so other people know what they’re like.

Lot of other men are respectful and loving and worth building a longterm relationship with and enjoying mutual sexual pleasure together.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-07-26T15:50:55+00:00

Because of Chad. Women will break every rule for Chad. If a woman REALLY wants to sleep with you, nothing will stop her. Not her safety. Not his lack of money. Not his status. Nothing. If a woman is not breaking rules for you, she doesn't love you.

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Billsandasonom · 2023-07-24T07:30:23+00:00

B/c women are still attracted to men or still want a man despite the risks. Most men are aware of the dismal divorce rates and the risks of modern marriage but marry anyway because their biological desire to be with a woman supercedes their fear, along with the foolish confidence that they won't become a statistic.

RelationshipSalty369 · 2023-07-24T09:41:48+00:00

I've had a few rough sexual situations with men. I've had a few horrible situations that I've barely escaped. But I've overwhelmingly had positive, fun and consensual relationships, flings, and ONS with men. Basically, I've learned that you literally can't tell which one is going to be fun and which one is going to hurt you, so go into it prepared for the worst and to hope for the best.

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-07-24T12:31:40+00:00

It depends on the man. Lots of men are capable of having consensual, good sex where both parties are satisfied. In addition, lots of men consume way too much porn and have equated sex to violence in their minds. Some women are into things like choking and what not. However, some men do push boundaries for sure.

I will say the majority of men are fine. Women like sex and want to have it. The problem is which man will you be getting- the violent one or the normal one? Usually the normal one but occasionally the violent one.

Being a straight women is weird overall. We’re literally attracted to our number one predator.

lemansion · 2023-07-24T14:00:05+00:00

LOL tell me you're vanilla without telling me you're vanilla.

As a woman who loves sex and has zero patience for bad lovers who aren't generous, I actually get off on being degraded and "abused". It's actually what makes me orgasm. It actually takes a very kind and considerate man to create a safe enough environment to feel like you can do that kind of sex. And before you think I'm a hoe, I have a low bodycount because obviously guys like you give a shit about that. I prefer fewer lovers I trust and can go deep in to really get the pleasurable sex I want which just so happens to be demeaning and aggressive.

That being said, obviously fuck dudes who do that without consent but stop making assumptions that women are sad about this. I'm personally quite happy that it's become more mainstream and people feel less judged about embracing what truly gets them off.

Sell-Chemical7413 · 2023-07-24T14:16:42+00:00

I genuinely think driving is dangerous... but don't understand why people risk their lives for cars

Sillysheila · 2023-07-24T14:21:00+00:00

I think they were discussing why some women might be apprehensive. Generally speaking one thing I’ve noticed about women throughout my life is that women’s sex drives seem to vary a lot more than men’s. It’s a lot more of a bell curve.

It seems there’s a lot more that are either very sexually driven, to the point where they might even surpass a couple men in sex drive (typically these women might be slut shamed and stuff, a lot are sex workers) and a lot that are very low sex drive, who mainly do it to please partners, and who barely understand why their partners want sex all the time.

Men meanwhile I’ve noticed seem to either have an average or high drive, with some occasional low sex drives thrown into the mix.

I fall into the category of more sexually driven. Sex is easy for me and I enjoy it. I don’t have lots of issues with orgasm typically and it’s really easy for me to get in a mindset for sex, I just have to read something sexual or think sexual thoughts.

One thing that does help is fore play, I mean we might not orgasm during penetration but a lot of women are fairly easy to make climax if you finger or lick her before sex, and if you’re worried about what spot it is you ask her where it is. She’ll guide you. Then that effectively solves the orgasm problem. The potential issue would be if you don’t do this. Then sex could be a lot more uncomfortable and climax would be more unlikely to happen.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-07-24T14:47:19+00:00

Dating women is not dangerous. It’s fun. Look around you. Billions of guys dating and marrying and happy.

daddysgotanew · 2023-07-24T17:26:56+00:00

Those are the opinions of women with an unhealthy view of sex/ and or past trauma.

A lot of women love sex. A lot of women take risks to get their shit pushed in by men that they are attracted to. A lot of women like seeing and feeling penises. A lot of women actually like semen on them (many of my experiences dictate this).

emochikk · 2023-07-25T07:46:07+00:00

Every woman says they don't like penetration until there's proper forplay, and you finger them the right way. Most girls love the things fingers are able to do in there. As for dicks... I don't know really. Try to grind on their cervix while inside, it will stimulate their clit. Don't just pound, grind. Up and down.

Repulsive-Yoghurt-71 · 2023-07-25T07:59:50+00:00

Cuz women have been led to believe that they need to be mothers and wives. That’s changing. Also I don’t blame women for not telling men that sex feels horrible cuz it’s always then turned back towards her “oh you haven’t had an orgasm thru PIV?? Every other girl I’ve been with didn’t have the problem” 😂 ok buddy, it’s all women, we all lie. Male ego is too big to bruise. Porn industry also makes it hard for men to believe it. Men for some reason want their dick to be something that bring a a woman pleasure. Why??? I don’t think my vagina brings pleasure, a man rubbing his sexual organ with the correct amount of friction brings him to O not me.

bruhminer · 2023-07-25T10:04:27+00:00

Women don't find sleeping with attractive men dangerous, that's for sure.

2023-07-25T18:28:30+00:00

Why do you drive to work and risk a car crash? Why do you turn on the stove and risk fire? Why do you eat and risk food poisoning?

Haunting_Afternoon62 · 2023-07-26T22:17:27+00:00

Aww I love you so much for this. So not all men luckily are into this. I think a lot of women don't orgasm because we are people pleasers so we dont speak up if something doesnt feel good. Luckily I'm not one of them. I will make sure I get mine. But unfortunately porn has made this image of sex expected. And it's awful. It's definitely a reason why I've been celibate for 3 yrs. I just feel like I'll never be good in bed at this point. I'm sick of feeling bad about it. Men enjoy making her feel pain because they think it means their dick is huge. They're just dumb af. And women have sex because at the end of the day we are trying to get love. Even if this is how low its gotten. I was talking to my friend who is 35 and she has never had an orgasm and she told me what men do to her and she has never spoken up about what SHE wants. It's sad.

B_A_Hunter · 2023-07-29T00:04:44+00:00

I do not think that most modern women understand any differently. As a woman, I have never been able to orgasm OTHER than vaginally. I do not understand the clitoral orgasm, I just can't see it. But, yes, as for women, they need to understand that our sexuality is different. There's no real way- apart from avoiding penetrative intercourse- to get rid of male dominance in the sex act.

I was able to orgasm for the first time with my husband when I was 19, because I was able to fully relax both body and mind and trust and submit to him completely. I imagine for the modern woman it would be difficult in most cases to truly open up, relax, submit, and let the man take all knowing he can overwhelm and hurt, or deny her pleasure, yet knowing that he can be trusted not to do that.

I think most of the orgasm frustration for modern women is psychological, not really physical. I was reading research from the 1960s, and half of the women could orgasm vaginally. Today that has come down to about 18-20%.

I know my orgasms are not coming from outside but inside of my body, but I also am holding him and depending on my husband for my basic needs in life too. Most women, in contrast, are financially independent even from their husbands. Speaking personally of me and my husband, there is a real natural gender dichotomy there that most today have to engage in kink and other games just to feel.

And as for men, I think it's natural to want to be aggressive in sex (women desire that aggression and dominance from men as well), but I think, for most men, the bragging point is that the woman DID come, not that she didn't, as well. But women must be taught to guard their sexuality, something that most of them have not been taught to do today in this modern culture.

Title	I genuinely think dating for women is dangerous... but dont understand why women risk sleeping with men, why?
Author	Iamslightlysad
Upvotes	28
Comments	102
Date	July 24, 2023 4:09 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/157zrk6/i_genuinely_think_dating_for_women_is_dangerous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/i-genuinely-think-dating-for-women-is-dangerous.1226296 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226296

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