Q4W: What do you perceive to be 'weakness' in a man?

MidoriEgg · 2023-08-20T09:52:35+00:00

Intense insecurity that dominates a lot of their life, social anxiety, a general inability to face fears or uncomfortable situations, lying or being avoidant to get out of uncomfortable situautions. Being complacent. Being overly reliant on parents financially past 25, inability to work hard to reach any long term goals, gives up on things quickly, cant take criticism, even if he gives it out to others. Inflated self-esteem without anything to show for it, constantly sees faults in others to make themselves feel better.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-08-20T06:18:20+00:00

Being "that guy" at a DND meet up. Whiny baby man

Uglypostwall · 2023-08-20T06:23:33+00:00

Weakness-Not being assertive.

I get that ick when a man makes fun of his partner in front of others, regardless of whether the joke is harmless or not. I see making fun of one's partner, especially in front of others, as a kind of red flag. It allows others to witness a public display of disrespect or criticism, which can potentially be used against you in manipulative ways or other negative situations.

IWillKeepYourSecret · 2023-08-20T07:57:58+00:00

I find people who are quick to anger extremely weak. Things like yelling, name-calling and using personal attacks to try and "win" an argument show immaturity, a lack of empathy and no ability to solve problems.

For the same reasons, someone who is quick to judge others harshly is also weak. It's a big sign of insecurity.

Having no self-awareness and being unable to introspect.

houstongradengineer · 2023-08-20T06:25:34+00:00

Utter lack of ambition, work ethic, or standards.

Obsession with some unrealistic, shallow goals to the detriment of anything more important/meaningful.

When they blow up or hide shit instead of actually facing problems in a more healthy, timely way. Yes, this includes emotional problems.

Inability to adapt to change especially when it's genuinely a necessary, normal part of life.

Failure to stand up for and support the people closest to him when they deserve better. If you can't be good to one or two people... Well, you suck.

Faking things like one's feelings, personality, or history when it isn't actually doing more good.

These same things make a woman weak, too.

AngeCruelle · 2023-08-20T06:36:49+00:00

Inability to control his anger, his sex drive, or both

Birb-brained · 2023-08-20T07:00:25+00:00

Crap moral compass.Lack of inner strength and resilience. Defensiveness. Poorly developed sense of self and general lack of ability to be reflective and listen. Same for women. It takes strength and maturity to listen to other people and communicate without defensiveness. I feel like I’m basically describing narcissistic people here and I l do think they are some of the weakest people in existence.

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JNRoberts42 · 2023-08-21T00:04:56+00:00

Lack of independence, insecurity, jealousy. A man who “checks in” every hour seems childlike to me.

BunnyFlopped · 2023-08-21T10:46:11+00:00

Being unable to take accountability and apologize

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-08-20T09:31:30+00:00

Child men - if I get the impression that I would need to be a mum for him, hell no. I read about a guy who was unable to pack his bags himself. When he was moving he called his mum and sister to come help him.

Arrogant, self-absorbed - a huge turn off.

Verbal incontinence - not hearing me or others out shows lack of self-discipline and ignorance.

Speaking very loudly - makes me instantly feel uncomfortable and doesn't match my own nature.

Being very passive, never offering new topics or suggestions on his own. I don't like the feeling that I need to 'take him by the hand'.

Checking his phone constantly on a date - unless he has a very good reason to and tells me upfront. Otherwise it's again lack of self-discipline and ignorance.

Insecurity that he expresses through arrogance, by putting others down, judging, seeing me as his concurrence, gaslighting, and other toxic behaviours.

Whining and not willing to change anything about whatever he is upset with.

Emotionally unstable - like being sweet to me one day and cold and unresponsive the next day. It's sometimes a strategy to make the girl insecure about the guy's feelings. Doesn't work on me. I want a grown-up I can rely on.

Smoker - I hate cigarettes. I couldn't stand being 5 minutes around him, not to mention kiss him.

Polo shirts - not a weakness but my personal ick.

Steroid-buffed - not for me. I like a healthy level of fitness.

Emotional responsivity is fine, just don't cry over a pretty flower or about how much you love your mum. This is too much. Be able to be stoic if required, like in critical situations or when someone needs you.

sweetestpineapple · 2023-08-20T20:00:49+00:00

Not standing up for me when other people are being rude, constantly complaining about his perceived flaws, high pitched screaming when he’s scared (dated a guy that did this and the ick was unbearable), not being a hard worker/choosing to be unemployed. Low paying but difficult jobs are fine. Not treating severe mental illness when they can afford and have access to therapy. Putting down women for their looks, especially women that are more attractive than them. Being super out of shape-can’t help me lift boxes, can’t walk a mile without stopping, obesity.

GooseneckRoad · 2023-08-20T06:08:42+00:00

Being emotionally responsive and empathetic is a good thing to most people. I'd say anger issues, narcissism (like the actual disorder, not hyperbole), and violence are the biggest weaknesses a man could have.

WYenginerdWY · 2023-08-20T07:50:22+00:00

Leaning on old patriarchal norms to soothe his ego about what his "rightful" place is in the world. If you have to pretend that 'muh biology' says your dick makes you more suitable for leadership, I just assume you suck at life and needed a crutch.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-08-20T08:13:19+00:00

Bottling in his emotions or personality to conform with others or what they think he should be, acting like he can't help himself from being driven by emotion (for men this is especially feeling angry or horny) or actually lacking the self-control to do so, never having dealt with any hardship or refusing to put himself in situations he finds or thinks he'll find difficult. I would hold myself to higher standards for lacking weakness though.

mvnnyvevwofrb · 2023-08-20T06:49:09+00:00

Basically any qualities that a woman should traditionally have, is perceived as a weakness in men. Men that are too sensitive, have too much emotion. Or men that are naive or too passive. Women perceive them as being weak and show cruelty/spite toward them.

Sekina7 · 2023-08-20T06:40:06+00:00

A fragile ego.

I_can_get_loud_too · 2023-08-20T10:18:34+00:00

Physical violence / a guy who breaks things or throws things when he gets upset. Think Roy from the Office when Pam broke up with him the second time and he went to go attack Jim. Major ick/huge weakness. My ex husband was like that and he was a 10/10 in physical attractiveness, tall, muscular, book smart, but as soon as the violent side came out I would get really turned off. For both men and women, it’s definitely a sign of weakness when someone can’t control their anger to the point when they do things they could get arrested for. Nothing screams weakness like someone who can’t control their behavior to the point where it’s only a matter of time before they get arrested. Maybe that’s cute in high school / college, but as an adult woman that’s disgusting to me.

dyngladfel · 2023-08-20T11:15:44+00:00

I don't think my standards on this are particularly gendered. I categorise people who take their insecurity out on others or who can't ask for the things they want without acting out about it as being emotionally weak, but perhaps that's because those are things I've tried to actively learn to be good at myself.

GrandRub · 2023-08-20T11:21:34+00:00

working too much and identifying with your "hard work ethic".

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-08-20T13:00:47+00:00

Being sensitive, indecisive, passive, subservient, lacking discipline when it comes to sex & work. Being very hedonistic. Also, lacking some sort of muscle.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-08-20T18:25:11+00:00

Laziness, bar none. Now I know not all men are lazy and oh my god have I seen lazy women too. But the question was about what do I perceive to be weakness in a man: so trolls, don’t come at me with not all men and women do it too. Um, obviously

Safinated · 2023-08-20T15:26:13+00:00

Being a pushover, doormat, victim, incompetent or whiner

Same as in a woman

toasterchild · 2023-08-20T16:21:04+00:00

It's not about being emotionally receptive it's about what you do when being emotionally receptive. A strong person doesn't feel the responsibility to fix the problems of others. They can listen and discuss without feeling the need to make it better. They can acknowledge that they still have their own needs even if the person they are with is hurting. A strong person can be supportive without becoming enmeshed.

A weak person will sacrifice their personal needs to try to make you feel better. If they disagree with you they won't say it out of fear of making you upset or hurting your feelings. It's like they are trying to be supportive but in a manipulative self self-sacrificing way. It puts a lot of pressure on the person who is hurting to feel better so they can feel like they are helping.

IshidaJohn · 2023-08-20T06:47:05+00:00

Mine is women

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-08-20T10:10:44+00:00

Being dumb. Making stupid decisions and then acting like the world is treating you unfairly because you are suffering the consequences of your own actions.

GrassToucher29 · 2023-08-20T12:21:04+00:00

Men who:

-fall prey to gambling,

-are unfaithful,

-pay for porn,

-don’t respect themselves and consequently let others disrespect and take advantage of them,

-respond poorly to insults (let them get under their skin),

-skinny men without much muscle mass,

-obese men (can’t resist food/lacks self discipline to remain healthy)

-men who are financially irresponsible (can’t stop buying shoes/video games/alcohol/cars etc. when he’s broke/drowning in credit card debt/has no savings

1Here4Bach · 2023-08-20T13:08:25+00:00

Basically anything that stems from a lack of self control and discipline.

Ainsleygz · 2023-08-20T13:10:48+00:00

Not being funny

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-08-20T13:44:10+00:00

Whining, temper tantrums, bullying (especially his female partner and female family members), pouting/silent treatment, pettiness, inability to handle appropriate criticism, nothing is ever his fault, total lack of self-awareness, can never admit to being wrong about something. Basically, a weak man’s self-image is very fragile and he takes it out on those around him, either in the form of aggression or passive-aggressive sulking.

Being emotionally receptive is not weakness.

armpitpics · 2023-08-20T13:54:07+00:00

Insisting that I should take his last name, keep my level of sexual experience low and stay home as he "supports" me.

Bekiala · 2023-08-20T14:01:29+00:00

Anger, violence and not being able to listen to others nor care about their well being.

Dom-Francon · 2023-08-20T17:15:38+00:00

A guy who has to put people down to feel like a big man. A guy who can’t laugh at himself and takes everything as an attack on his masculinity.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-08-20T18:11:10+00:00

Inflated aggressive emotional response to mild inconveniences. Instead of clearly communicating what is bothering you. So like yelling and slamming stuff because you are upset that your boss made a disparaging comment about your performance. But taking that frustration out on everyone instead of just like I'm a bit upset my boss was on some bullshit. I just need space to kinda work through it.

A guy who has weaknesses and vulnerabilities is human and I am cool with that if he's honest about it. And can communicate if he is upset or at a low and what he needs from me as a partner is a strong person and I can figure out best to support him when he is struggling.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-08-20T19:46:28+00:00

Can't take a joke.

People who flex all the time.

Has to keep up appearances and is afraid what others will think of him.

Loses his cool and gets irritated often, making a large and dramatic scenein the process.

Can't stand up for himself.

i_love_lima_beans · 2023-08-21T14:23:07+00:00

For me it would be passivity - refusing to lead or take charge, unable or unwilling to protect - instead looking to a partner/others to make all the decisions, solve issues, plan all activities, arrange all social interactions, etc.

goingtothecircus · 2023-08-22T01:28:51+00:00

Someone who doesn't like to cuddle

Title	Q4W: What do you perceive to be 'weakness' in a man?
Author	UrExWasntANarcissist
Upvotes	11
Comments	94
Date	August 20, 2023 5:57 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15w3225/q4w_what_do_you_perceive_to_be_weakness_in_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-what-do-you-perceive-to-be-weakness-in-a-man.1229108 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229108

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