Pretty sure my ex ruined herself financially

HereinPA1 · 2023-09-17T23:43:33+00:00

There’s a side of me that says go for it, but the wiser side says she made her bed, let her lie in it. As I’ve read on this sub before; not your monkey and not your circus.

Aromatic_Boot3629 · 2023-09-17T23:35:24+00:00

As much as I want to say bury her cheating ass, you'll probably never see any money for your fees or what she owes you if she's that broke.

That being said, if you don't mind being out some cash, then go for it.

i_am_buzz_lightyear · 2023-09-17T23:39:25+00:00

What was the order?

TheBoyBand · 2023-09-17T23:26:42+00:00

Let the cheater live with consequences of her choices, they will never live in peace.

LonelyDadbod4U · 2023-09-18T00:15:01+00:00

Nah don’t waste any more energy mental or physical. Time is more impt - Will never create balance if you live in the past.

prepend · 2023-09-18T01:07:20+00:00

It will cost you out of pocket. Judge will probably just say "don't do that again" and is unlikely to award you attorney fees over such a small amount.

If your divorce is final, then this will cost you just to get before the judge. If your divorce is pending, then just save this for the end as one more thing.

But ask your attorney and see what they say. And know that you're paying your attorney to as them questions like this.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-09-18T03:29:12+00:00

I'd let it go but not let her know you're letting it go. She may take that as a sign she can ask you for money.

hairy_russian · 2023-09-18T04:22:00+00:00

If you have kids do what is in their best interest.

But if you don’t be careful if you have her incur too much debt she will just file bankruptcy instead of thinking she can dig herself out.

Kwen_Oellogg · 2023-09-18T04:59:46+00:00

That depends. Do you have children with her? If you do have children then let her be. It will be the children who really get hurt in the end.

And besides, the courts don't really care if she broke a court order as long as they get your case off the docket.

soontobesolo · 2023-09-18T13:52:43+00:00

Ask your lawyer what is best for you strategically. It may be worthwhile having it recorded officially, so you can use it against her later if you need to. It'll also remind her to keep in line.

black65Cutlass · 2023-09-18T17:18:39+00:00

I would pile more on there if you have the opportunity.

Salty-Rutabaga-3329 · 2023-09-18T00:08:19+00:00

Weird. I'm in the same exact position. We have one loose end, splitting my savings.

She refuses to cooperate which is bizarre. She'll be getting well into the six figures. We're stuck on it. Pure spite.

But it's a deadlock (long and even more bizarre story). I cannot continue forward without her cooperation and she won't budge. I've tried to explain many times. E-mails, text messages, phone calls, letters, certified letters. All get screams and threats of restraining orders.

I have to file a contempt of court motion ($$$) to give her money. It's crazy.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-09-17T23:39:41+00:00

Why would you waste your time on your ex? That’s time you should be living your life…move on

SpareAd7760 · 2023-09-18T01:05:24+00:00

Dude, let it go. KARMA is a bitch and so is she. You wanna be that

AlmostThere22 · 2023-09-18T14:47:39+00:00

Go the fuck after that bitch.

You know damn well if roles were reversed she'd have already had that shit petitioned.

Fuck her. If she wants other dick and to be some strong independent women. Let her but there's a price to pay for it.

Being nice and understanding is a husband thing to do. You're not her husband anymore.

She disrupted everyone's life. She needs to continue to pay the penalty for that.

Go after the bitch.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2023-09-18T01:36:16+00:00

Bury her.

Decon_SaintJohn · 2023-09-18T02:03:46+00:00

Go for it. You shouldn't have to pay for her bad decisions.

BlessedAF-FR · 2023-09-18T04:57:14+00:00

“ Should I push the issue and rack up more fees for her?”

Yes.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-09-18T05:16:17+00:00

What would she do if the shoes were on the other feet? She cheated, it’s a lawsuit. All is fair in love and war.

True_Scorpio23 · 2023-09-18T01:18:25+00:00

Remove your feelings from the situation and focus on the legal and practical aspects of her actions and how you should react. Forget “getting back” at her for the cheating and “burying” her even more. Those feelings a for you to deal with outside of the courtroom.

She has violated a court order and it has resulted in financial burdens for you. You must inform the court immediately by filing a motion to show cause. What happens when the next month she cancels the children’s insurance and tells you it’s up to you to insure them? Or even worse, she withholds the children for whatever reason? Not taking action is sometimes perceived by the courts as if you don’t disagree with her actions. You want to document everything for any future tricks she tries to pull. You might also want to consider how she would act of the tables were turned. Would she give you the same courtesy? You should be able to file something this simple on your own or with a paralegal service to minimize costs if that’s your concern.

SkeptiCynical · 2023-09-18T15:30:45+00:00

The right thing to do is pursue it in court. You have no idea if her mom is telling the truth about her debt or income. Problem is, you have to lawyer up first, and family court is really unlikely to make her pay your attorney's fees, even if it's in the SA, even if it's 100% her fault, even if those are the rules. Financially, it's not worth it.

The sensible thing is to get your own insurance, eat the few hundred bucks and move on happily with your life. Even after you get a judgment, your chances of collecting are slim.

dog_fart_tacos · 2023-09-18T17:22:01+00:00

I'd likely do the bare minimum so she learns not to break any more court orders that impact you. Otherwise, why let her keep living in your head rent free?

Reflog1791 · 2023-09-18T17:41:23+00:00

I would request the money out of court. A nice neat packet including the healthcare bills, the line in the legal documents about not taking you off the insurance, and her text screenshot showing the same. This shows you have your ducks lined up.

“I need to be added back on the insurance and reimbursed for $716 by October 1 or I will be forced to take this matter to court and request attorneys fees.”

mpjune69 · 2023-09-18T20:49:01+00:00

Take the high road... otherwise it shows you still have interest in the ex. If you don't have kids together, let it go - you're a free man now. Use that energy and time in a positive way.

Title	Pretty sure my ex ruined herself financially
Author	Throwaway_858493
Upvotes	36
Comments	48
Date	September 17, 2023 11:21 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16lff7h/pretty_sure_my_ex_ruined_herself_financially/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/pretty-sure-my-ex-ruined-herself-financially.1232167 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232167

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