I've dated a few legitimately great girls who were just unable to see and fix their issues (mostly from trauma). They made it impossible to tell them because they'd always blow up and make it my problem, so I just learned to bottle it up until I couldn't take it anymore. I figured at the time I was just getting "unlucky", but now I'm in my 30s and realizing that all the women I know are like this. I legitimately cannot think of a single instance where a woman in my life reconsidered her own actions and/or apologized to me, let alone doing so unprompted. Not my mother, not my significant others, and not the female friends I've had. It's possible that this is a human thing, but I'm looking for a wife and so I really only pay close attention to the character of women.

At first I thought I was just being hyperbolic and that there's no reason this would be a gendered problem. I don't hate women and I know better than to fall into the typical manosphere traps. But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Here's what I've surmised:

Women can be and are just as "bad" as men. But the 'women are wonderful' effect prevents us from giving this any airtime. Especially these days, anything but unwavering support for women is labelled as misogyny. It's like everyone is falling over themselves to worship these poor hard-done-by women who have been innocent victims for too long. I see all this baseless garbage on social media telling them they are perfect and they don't have to change themselves for anyone and yadda yadda. As a funny aside, the men's version of this is the total opposite, with the messaging being that you're nothing and need to make something of yourself. Anyway, I get the idea of this type of female empowerment but at the same time, who's to say there's nothing wrong with you? Maybe you actually do need to change yourself. Maybe you're not perfect or even close to it. Maybe you actually have some serious issues that you need to sort out.

I feel this whole "the future is female" era we are in is creating a bunch of narcissistic women who don't self-reflect and have no reason to start. Society tells them they're great, other women unwaveringly tell them they're great, and there are lineups of guys who will tell them they're great. If they end up with a guy who tells them they aren't that great, they can just put it back on him and move to the next guy who will tell them that they are. Even their therapists tell them they're great because they control the narrative in those sessions. One of my exes was a huge believer in therapy but her sessions were all about feel-good things like confidence and limiting beliefs instead of the deeper issues that were destroying our relationship. Basically, there's no incentive or pressure for women to self-reflect or self-improve. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen or that it never catches up to them, just that there's no immediate consequences if they don't.

Take for example a couple of the girls I've dated. When issues starting arising, I would voice my thoughts and feelings and they'd get really upset and put it back on me. In an effort to not hurt them, I'd start to bottle up each little thing because speaking about it would just create more problems. Eventually it would all add up and I'd end the relationship. I'd take the blame and say the typical "it's not you it's me" thing, thinking there was no point in hurting them further if we were done. I've ended all the relationships in my life, all with women that were very into me. I figured that with some time away, they might reflect on things and come to see all their own issues. I thought it was clear that our relationship died by a thousand cuts and they'd eventually realize that when they did the autopsy. But then I came to learn that they weren't self-reflecting at all and just continued on as if all the issues were because of me. They didn't think they had to work on anything, and they were back on dating apps in a matter of weeks. Because of the unlimited access these days, all they had to do was flip the sign around saying they were available again and the stream of attention resumed. Whereas if I wanted to date again or be in another relationship, I had to build myself up again and be ready and confident enough to pursue and compete for another woman.

Anyway, this has happened to me three times with three very different girls (all of my serious relationships). And I've met countless other women who are ignorant of their shitty behavior because they never have to look at it. The thing is I can't even blame them. It's human nature to avoid pain, especially the type that comes with acknowledging and examining your own flaws. But we've created a really unproductive dynamic for everybody here. Women are becoming these brats who think their shit doesn't stink and nothing is ever their fault and men are starting to hate them for it. It's stunting their development and preventing them from landing a healthy relationship that lasts with a high quality man. The biggest reason I'm pessimistic about finding a wife is that it seems there are no women in my dating pool (24-30) who have gone through some honest character development. Maybe it'll happen later in life for them but I don't want to date someone in their 30s who only figured their shit out after wasting their prime years running around unchecked. Or maybe I just need to have more of a backbone and put these women in their place. But they make you feel so bad for doing it! Lol

Thoughts? Anyone know what I'm getting at here?