I'm a 31 year old middle European man and I have been in and out of several relationships for the past 10 years. I talk a lot to strangers and acquantances about relationships and their experiences. Based on these stories that happened directly to me or were told to me from first hand, I have gathered the following idea that I would kindly ask your opinion on:

"Committing to a relationship with a man is a net loss for a woman - unless she wants a child, or the man is extremely wealthy".

I have not been in a committed relationship for many years now and I get most rejections from women saying, yes they are single, but they are not looking for a relationship / they don't even know if they'll ever want one again.

The reasons I hear is because they have to give up a lot of freedom in exchange for a committed relationship. For example what they have to give up:

  1. Reckless schedule. Women, regardless of age (between 18 and 36 in my experience) in my city enjoy living a spontaneous schedule and do not plan ahead, except for at what time they have to get up for work that week / next day. Getting absolutely blackout drunk on a Tuesday evening randomly? Sure. Doing drugs casually on weekdays? Why not. A person in the friendgroup calls at 10PM to come over and have a bottle of wine and sleep over if it gets late? Sure! We agreed to do X on the weekend many weeks ahead but then something comes up and they do a 3-day bender without notifying the host? Absolutely. However I rarely encounter men doing this (they focus more on carreer). Of course they have to give up this behaviour in a committed relationship, coming home in time, not disturbing the other persons sleep schedule, spending time together, eating meals together, etc.
  2. Irregular Diet. What you eat affects you directly (looks, mood, sex-drive, reliability, stamina) and taking responsibility to feed yourself is costly and takes a lot of time. I rarely see women cooking (most of my male acquantances cook) and usually just grabbing fast food, barely drinking water, at irregular intervals which affects their health negatively.
  3. Freedom to have little income. If they are only responsible for themselves, women can earn as little as they want to. They can just take any easy-to-do, flexible, low-paying job, and live in a lease with 2-3 friends together. However in a committed relationship there are long-term goals (mortgage, large purchases, car payment, etc.) so it means they basically have to become a business partner, and take on an actual, real job which might be stressfull but pays well and they do not want this.
  4. Sexual freedoms. It is common to keep 3-5 regular sexual men partners for women. This is because in my country there is an awful ratio in any social place (club, park, disco, etc.), men outnumber women on a good day 5:1, on a bad day 30:1. Lately I have been seeing 20-something women take 8 or 10 guys with her to the club. On Tinder, the women I talked to (they are completely average 6/10 looking, no bikini pictures, just standard normal pictures), get around 100-200 matches per week. In clubs it is not unusual for them to take many men home (sometimes even at once) - and men will not object, because the ratio is so bad that they just swallow their pride just to get laid. In a committed relationship they have to throw away all of this, no more casual hookups, no more Tuesday Tony, Wednesday William, Friday Frederick.

And in turn from an average man they receive:

  1. No protection bonus. My country is very safe so women do not have to be afraid to go on the street alone, drunk, etc. They can be sure that they will not get robbed, raped, unless they go to extremely bad neighbourhoods which are very far outside of the city. So basically having a man on their side at night does not provide a major safety advantage.
  2. High risk of abuse. Lots of stories about men sexually or emotionally abusing their women. Domestic abuse and domestic rape is the most common (strangers rarely abuse women).
  3. Likely poor sex-life. I hear severe complaints about men performing poorly in bed (not taking care of the woman's needs).
  4. Little care and few shared interests.
  5. Burden of chores. I don't know why but I hear a lot of men still think that they should not do laundry, do the dishes, cook or clean in the shared household.
  6. Not much better quality life than if they lived alone or with women friends. With today's financial crisis and inflation it is unlikely that having a man will result in a much higher socioeconomic status.

Based on the above, If I were a woman in 2024 in my city, I would not want a committed relationship - because I do not want a child and I do not care about money. I would just mess around, hook-up, travel, not worry, get wasted, party, etc. until my late 30's or even early 40's and then settle for a somewhat well-off man so that I have company.

What do you think?