for newbies: big dating subreddits can do you more harm than good

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-01-18T17:56:37+00:00

The problem is A lot of times it’s older married women in their 40’s trying to tell single men in their 20’s about modern dating

jamminamon · 2022-01-18T22:36:50+00:00

Well it's also full of ugly self doubting guys that only want confirmation that they're unsuitable for dating.

Communist_Mustache · 2022-01-18T17:44:00+00:00

I don't necessarily agree with all of this but I do agree with a sentiment that women give rubbish dating advice cause most of it is usually coming from a moral high horse and you can boil it down to just "be yourselves" and generic crap like that.

Elbynerual · 2022-01-18T19:03:11+00:00

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MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-01-18T19:14:30+00:00

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creativeoutlaw44 · 2022-01-18T19:54:20+00:00

"...the girls you like, the young hot, sexy, beautiful women you like and want to fuck, are 99.9% NOT on reddit and NOT on dating subreddits. If they are good enough, they're most likely out there dating someone, shaving their pussies, fucking someone, or out with her friends doing things that normal hot girls do, like for example, having a life."

Amen.

You only have to be on Reddit a month or so to realize that it does not represent the real world at all. It has a bunch of amazing information, but it's like trying to learn about the world from a library. Eventually, you have to go outside and see if the words match up with reality. Shades of gray.

modidlee · 2022-01-18T21:34:15+00:00

I literally just had to stop myself from replying to a post asking women what an average guy who hasn’t had success with self improvement can do to be more attractive. I wanted to tell him to stop caring what women say about dating because they’re not using logic and reason when a certain guy makes them feel the things they need to feel to be attracted. They’ll tell a guy women are looking for this that and the other in a guy, but can’t explain why a guy who has none of those qualities is who they went home with last night. So men need to figure out how to find the women that are mildly attracted to them, then make them feel something instead of just worrying about how much weights they need to lift or what job they should get. But it had “Question for women.” So if I replied my comment might be flagged because I’m not supposed to be replying since I’m a man smh

ksmith11011 · 2022-01-18T19:14:28+00:00

I figured this out when I was in high school before Internet forums and smart phones existed. I remember saying it to my mother and sister on the way to school once thinking they would understand and agree but I was shocked they didn’t. Women really have no idea that what they say they want is usually the opposite of what they actually go for.

I will say this though, not all women are strongly affected by this tendency. My current girlfriend says what she wants and she actually responds favorably to getting it. So I believe the phenomena is caused by low self accountability, which is something you can filter for in a partner of you’re willing to prioritize it above other things.

hfthomas · 2022-01-18T19:55:30+00:00

And dont treat it as "Game". They are other living, breathing, thinking people with the same feelings as you and me.

Btw, when a woman says "be yourself", it is a good advice. Because if you alter your behaviour for her, you are not being yourself. She doesnt want you to alter your behaviour for her.

If you want to fuck her, but instead have her on dinner and buying her flowers, are you really "being yourself" then? Its because you dont want to be vulnerable and risk her rejection and then you put on a nice persona. Thats not being yourself

God_Assassin · 2022-01-18T18:47:52+00:00

I think this could have been said in a less misogynistic way, but pretty accurate nonetheless.

2022-01-18T20:10:58+00:00

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Carpsonian22 · 2022-01-18T20:42:39+00:00

Yet again, another man trying to tell men “don’t listen to what these women are clearly telling you they want or how they feel” because why would women know anything about how other women think? Crazy. Also, why would all the women be unattractive? That doesn’t even make sense. You do realize there are attractive women who don’t enjoy going out and getting wasted every night with their friends. I think the dating advice is generally spot on EXCEPT for FDS, that sub is toxic and even I was Jenner for speaking out against them. I think OP can’t get girls and wants everyone else to not get any either.

-Twyptophan- · 2022-01-18T20:29:07+00:00

I'd say a big thing is to trust people who get the results you're looking for. I would rarely follow them advice of anyone on the tinder sub because it seems like 99% of it is just the blind leading the blind. The only posts worth actually taking advice from are the ones where the comments are filled with "oh you're following rule 1 and 2" "say goodbye to your organs" "this is fake".

I wouldn't follow a fitness trainer who doesn't have the physique I'm going for, so I wouldn't follow the advice of people who don't have the results I want.

hardthumbs · 2022-01-19T00:30:17+00:00

All gendered subs end up toxic as hell

On-The-Mountain · 2022-01-18T22:18:12+00:00

"I have had sooo many situations of beautiful girls telling me: I hateyou but I want to fuck you so bad. I hate you but I love your dick.You're a bad person, but you make me so horny, I cannot resist you."

I do not want women like this, so I also don't use your strategy. For me personally the best realisation was that I didnt have to do anything to get girls. It hurts to say this because it sounds so cliche but being honest about what you want (her) and thus being yourself seems to better way for me. I hate mind games.

MinnNOLA · 2022-01-19T00:50:50+00:00

This is some serious incel/pickup scammer BS. Please do not DM OP for tips.

reversedbydark · 2022-01-19T00:26:19+00:00

I've been saying this (and getting downvoted) here & on the dating sub from the very beginning.

vorter · 2022-01-18T20:29:05+00:00

normal hot girls do, like for example, having a life

Loooool

UnitedIntroduction48 · 2022-01-18T21:17:12+00:00

Furthermore the girls you like, the young hot, sexy, beautiful women you like and want to fuck, are 99.9% NOT on reddit and NOT on dating subreddits.

When you hear a woman talking about dating on reddit you can assume she is 100% NOT the type of woman who you would like to date

What if the men that these types of women wanna date are guys that don’t hang out on this sub?

darkprincess98 · 2022-01-18T21:15:33+00:00

Tell me you're an incel without telling me you're an incel.

2022-01-18T20:59:35+00:00

The irony

daydreamsofcalm · 2022-01-18T22:03:49+00:00

Jeez, someone must have hurt you bad in the last couple of weeks. How do you go from asking about iPhone cameras to this utter shite? You don't even write the same, your tone shifted completely. What happened dude?

jamminamon · 2022-01-18T22:43:59+00:00

r/neckbeardthings r/incelsinaction

Idk choose one. Or both.

Extra-Boysenberry · 2022-01-18T22:19:48+00:00

Part of the problem is, if you have one slight criticism of a woman, you get called an incel very quickly.

DifferentEditor6 · 2022-01-18T19:25:46+00:00

I’m getting incel vibes from this post, still its overarching message rings true. Best dating advice for men comes from successful men.

Pop_Culture_Username · 2022-01-18T17:40:41+00:00

This HAS to be satire. Or trolling. Or maybe you're just really fucking stupid.

I can't tell which it is.

Agitated_Character41 · 2022-01-18T22:13:38+00:00

When you ask women in your life that actually love you and actually want you to succeed, so many times their advice is to ask a man. So many times I've been told they are so glad they aren't attracted to women because it doesn't make sense, lol.

Exmerus · 2022-01-18T20:21:36+00:00

Furthermore the girls you like, the young hot, sexy, beautiful women you like and want to fuck, are 99.9% NOT on reddit

They are on Reddit. But posting nudes to promote their only fans, definitely not taking the time to give dating advice to random losers.

frank_the_tank_9 · 2022-01-18T23:32:36+00:00

This is 100% true. While I was in my teens I didn’t know how to talk to girls. So I befriended them and asked them for advice. Mostly bullshit advice like “ just be yourself” … be sweet, nice, caring… blah blah. A bunch of the same dumb shit.

To OPs point, he is absolutely right. What girls say they want, vs what they actually want are 2 separate things. While I was being the nice guy getting friend zoned, they were fking another dude.

It wasn’t till I began ignoring all their advice and learning my own technique/approach, that I began cleaning up.

It’s a journey. Learning. Seeing what works and throwing away the rest. But again, do NOT take advice from any girls. Especially ones on Reddit.

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2022-01-18T20:40:47+00:00

Yeah, no shit. Dating apps aren't much better anyways. Better just to build your battle and attract what comes to you

Nalayak_Launda · 2022-01-18T21:50:58+00:00

What other subreddits do you recommend

Intelligent-Dingo-64 · 2022-01-18T22:31:59+00:00

bro i got rejected i felt so bad for 1 hour or more at least , i pushed myself and i made her feel i am trying hard and then she fucked me up by her response ,she was mean ouh for fuck sake i hate her but i know it was logical response to my stupid investing in situation i mean she will not change my world ,she is not surly my only choice and it would be different reaction from her if i was enjoying my time .

i thinked of giving up but i will not give up yet i am determined now to be better persone

xuml · 2022-01-18T18:37:30+00:00

lmao i think i smell an incel

TrueBroccoli8 · 2022-01-18T19:49:46+00:00

As they say, would you ask a fish for fishing advice?

m2niles · 2022-01-18T20:05:54+00:00

Lot of wisdom in this post.

anoyingprophet · 2022-01-18T22:16:29+00:00

I recommend that men never ever ever take dating advice from any woman. Straight women don't date women, so they don't know anything. Period. I think the moment I stopped taking advice from my older sister was when I actually started pulling. The type of a guy a womans asks you to be when you ask her how to get girls, is not the type of guy she ever dates. She'll literally make you into an overly agreeable, passive, overly complimenting and gift-giving guy, because she wishes the guys she dated were like that. Yet, she never dates guys like that because they're boring. Women are attracted to guys that keep them on their toes. Guys that give them a sense of uncertainty, unpredictability. A guy that isn't easy to get. I don't know why, and i don't make them.

eyesopen1111 · 2022-01-19T00:46:22+00:00

You can learn Good Game from either men or women, wtf--isn’t this obvious?? There is so much Game to read, learn, and practice that you’d think Gen Z would be outperforming GEN X, but instead Gen Z is the least laid group of males ever studied, complete with articles about Gen Z having the highest rates of virginity on record. The young guys have mostly learned nothing and read nothing about Game. They ask beginner questions. They are terrible at Game and refuse to learn. They mindlessly talk about "hitting the gym" or getting hobbies to get girls. Proven stupidity, that is.

Many of the 20-something year old Gen Z women are on Seeking, or Only Fans, or whatever dating app having sex with financially established 40-somethings like me. That's where they’ve disappeared to, guys. They are renting themselves to the highest bidder for a taste of the good life. No need for Game, just be a top 10% success as a guy and let the girls for fight for you. Lol. The most searched age for women on online dating is 18, but for men it’s 50 fucking years old. Why 50? Because we’re established and they are looking for guys with money resources who have balls and edge and who can maybe take them on a trip or shopping or whatever.

Eat your heart out, Black Pill, it isn’t all about muscle and looks after all.

Throwaway-helpplspls · 2022-01-19T01:29:45+00:00

just get off Reddit it makes me wanna die

rohrohrohroh · 2022-01-19T02:25:42+00:00

Plot twist: this was written by a woman to help other women weed out the weirdos faster

ProductivityMonster · 2022-01-19T01:55:40+00:00

In general I agree - don't ask a fish how to fish, especially if that fish a bitter online troll. However, the one area women do have good advice about dating for men is identifying red flags in women. Ironic, I know.

Women have had more experience in dealing with the BS other women do so they're aware of what to watch out for more than men. But they know very little about actually seducing women.

RefrigeratorCute5952 · 2022-01-19T07:02:29+00:00

a large portion of guys problems are related to value. some people forget money is value as well or at least a representation of value which triggers the survival button. women nest when they are pregnant, they need someone who is able to take care of their offspring so they filter out dudes who are struggling, at least the younger ones do. what really should happen is men should be looking out for other men who are attempting to get their life in order.

they should be leader of men by helping dudes grow their business or get into a new position. i am telling you that the most “alpha” thing a man can do is make money and help other dudes make money. like it sounds basic, but everything is just adjusting to correct cues while around women. but not like in an avert try hard way, try hard usually means a guy has limited resource issues so it communicates scarcity. like being too pushy gives off a cue that this dude may have limited time, but not in a false time constraint way, more like a shit this better work because i am running out of resources way. yes, you can fake value but better to become if you want a ltr

Title	for newbies: big dating subreddits can do you more harm than good
Author	seovibe
Upvotes	170
Comments	89
Date	January 18, 2022 5:27 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s72rki/for_newbies_big_dating_subreddits_can_do_you_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/for-newbies-big-dating-subreddits-can-do-you-more.1268762 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268762

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