Do you agree of disagree with the phrase "If it's not a fuck yes, it's a no"?

Mriconicdev · 2022-01-14T16:31:34+00:00

Agreed. Why waste your precious time with shit you really don’t want to do when a lot of times you’re forced aka your job or other shit, doing shit you don’t want to but HAVE to do.

its_kiddos · 2022-01-14T16:29:26+00:00

Absolutely.

No means no.

Maybe means no.

I don't know means no.

20 nos followed by a defeated yes means no.

Only an enthusiastic yes, means yes, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Eye_of_Horus34 · 2022-01-14T16:50:04+00:00

Yeah pretty much. Unless it’s already been a yes at one point in which case maybe you can turn it around. Hell maybe you can turn it around from a No or a maybe. You probably can. But how much effort do you want to exert vs just dating someone who really wants to go out with you too? Much more fun that way.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-01-14T16:52:19+00:00

Regarding consent? Absolutely. I don't want to sleep with someone who might regret it in the morning.

Regarding partners... I'm a bit more flexible. I'm not going to get very serious with someone who is anything less than a great match for me, but I'll happily have flings with anyone that's fun to be around.

2022-01-14T16:27:40+00:00

Agreed

lord202 · 2022-01-14T16:49:37+00:00

In terms of women? Not necessarily because you can always raise low interest women's interest levels. I've done it before. But generally speaking I do prefer fuck yes women of course.

lawnguyland567 · 2022-01-14T17:37:16+00:00

Yeah. You don't wanna fuck around with consent and find out they weren't happy later. At best, it'll ruin your relationship with them. The worst is the potential for life ruining legal consequences for you, and massive trauma for them.

AnAngelOfVengeance · 2022-01-14T20:53:44+00:00

disagree - I've had lots of girls that were on the fence come around. you never know whats going on in her life, somethings just take time. I always keep girls in my line up, I just text them progressively less and less. Keeps me in practice and gives me girls to practice lines on. You'd be surprised how many times those girls just suddenly pop back up and want to hang. maybe she had another guy and just nexted him. maybe her friend just started hooking up with a guy and now she feels she has an excuse to. you never know. it costs very little to keep things minimally warm with her. A HUGE hidden benefit is that over time, she will realize, bc you are just occasionally texting, man this guy is really not needy, he's clearly has options, and definitely isnt the kind of guy to blow up at me bc I rejected him. Sometimes time shows that better than anything else

NewCommonSensei · 2022-01-14T18:11:11+00:00

It makes life a lot easier when you follow this rule.

PondScum420 · 2022-01-14T19:39:14+00:00

Very good rule of thumb I think. Obviously there’s exceptions, always are. But sometimes you just get stuck chasing people, putting time and energy into changing their mind, trying really hard to make it work, when all the while there are people who would be into you from the start without all that hassle

FilthyStylish · 2022-01-14T18:35:34+00:00

Totally agree. If it isn’t a fuck yes, it’s a no. A girl who wants to spend time with you will be fuck yes about it. She won’t hesitate or be like umm not sure let me get back to you or shit like that. Think about it. If a friend of yours called you and offered you a bag full of money, you’d probably drop everything in your hand and go meet up with him. Or you’d offer a reschedule if you couldn’t meet him at the time he suggested because you really can’t make it like you will be taking an exam at that time or something. You won’t take ages to text him back or tell him you’re busy. Fuck that.

MikeAlphaGolf · 2022-01-15T02:57:27+00:00

There’s no bigger time and emotional sink hole then a man chasing after someone who doesn’t want him. Usually because he doesn’t have any other options. Dating is so much more enjoyable when you’re skiing downhill.

ANewOriginalUsername · 2022-01-14T17:56:36+00:00

I disagree, and here’s why. I think it’s the guys job to get women to the “fuck yes” mindset. I think we have to be there first. HOWEVER people in general will not always be in that mindset, and you gotta understand that going in. You can’t always expect a girl to be in that mindset, there’s too many variables. I will say though that enthusiasm is an underrated quality that not a lot of girls display in a relationship. So it’s up to you to screen for the type of girls that are as id like to say “bout it bout it”

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-01-14T18:33:26+00:00

Yes, 100%

Things flow so much easier when a woman is really into you right off the bat.

kuro_fenrir · 2022-01-14T20:10:16+00:00

Yep. Don't waste your time with maybes in life. Anytime a girl doesn't give me a straight answer. I see that as the sign to go ahead and make a plan B. To try to call her out on it or act butt hurt, just leave the ball in her court and keep playing the game elsewhere.

2022-01-14T20:33:07+00:00

Strongly agree

2022-01-14T20:43:01+00:00

Disagree. Sometimes people just don't know, and things change. Not everyone can be an immediate "fuck yes" unless they're born lucky. Leave the ego at the door. Seducing someone takes time and effort, but phrases like this make me think people who subscribe to it don't want to put in time nor effort.

K_Sleight · 2022-01-14T17:55:38+00:00

Absolutely. If I ask a girl out and she's not excited and happy to go, especially if she's hesitant or has reason the think I'm up to something, all of these are red flags.

immatonton · 2022-01-14T22:09:12+00:00

Life’s short. Why do something you’re lukewarm about?

I want somebody to be all in about me.

hulk_hogans_nutsweat · 2022-01-15T00:06:43+00:00

Because even if it’s not a “no”, my time is valuable. If I want to set up a date with a chick and she’s saying “well can’t today” with no backup plan, or “can’t today but maybe next week” but no real energy to actually meet up, I’m moving on. She can get back to me if she wants and if I’m free I might try to meet up, but she won’t be my priority.

I spent too much time back in my younger days waiting around for girls and even getting strung along by some of them. No more.

BeleriandCrises · 2022-01-15T02:15:41+00:00

I don't agree. If we barely know each other I wouldn't expect a very excited "yes", I still have to pretend to be amazing

2022-01-15T03:59:22+00:00

I enjoy Mark Manson, he’s pretty good overall! I do agree with “if it’s not a fuck yes, it’s a no”. I want something or someone to be all in or all out, have no want nor need for someone who’s unsure

TacoRockapella · 2022-01-15T04:25:01+00:00

I agree. I think this comes as you get older. Not enough time to compromise. I’d rather be alone.

2022-01-15T06:02:38+00:00

it's not something you agree or disagree.

the benefits of thinking "she isnt enthusiastic but sex is sex" and have sex are obvious. sex. but there are benefits in not accepting anything else than people who are as excited as you.

also, if we are talking about a long and serious relationship, unless you are very young, i 100% recommend not being with somebody who is with you just because she couldnt find anything she likes better and is too scared to keep looking for it and maybe dont find it.

FilthyStylish · 2022-01-14T18:49:29+00:00

The problem with this kind of thinking is that most women who could be very into you are “maybe” or “neutral”. A small percentage of women will be “Fuck yes” right off the bat and another small percentage will be “Fuck no”. I think guys only go for “fuck yes” girls as an excuse to not go after the “maybe” girls, which are usually more attractive than the “fuck yes” girls from my experience.

The whole point of game is to create attraction in women with your charisma, personality, vibe etc. If you’re going for women who are attracted to you regardless of your game, you’re limiting your results.

DeeGeeG · 2022-01-14T20:33:44+00:00

Both, if it's a yes it's a yes, doesn't have to be a fuck yes. Just as long as it wasn't proceeded with a no

2022-01-14T21:36:35+00:00

I don't agree. Most women aren't direct like men. They need to see you're able to attract them and inspire respect in them. Most women won't give a fuck about you until you show your qualities and make her show her good girl side too. Also most women want to be pursued and desired, so sometimes they won't show you a fuck yes immediately unless you're some celebrity or they're prostitutes.

The guys here who say they'd not lose time with a girl who's not direct seem to be emotionally weak and are gonna lose a ton of girls with that mindset.

TongsOfDestiny · 2022-01-14T20:14:39+00:00

I disagree, it's unfair to your partner if you say yes when you're unsure or you'd rather say no, no matter what tone you use. No absolutely means no but yes also means yes; you shouldn't have to decipher anything to find a hidden meaning. If someone gives you a very unenthusiastic yes then you'd probably assume they'd rather say no, but ultimately if they consent they can't get upset if the act happens.

Of course the person can say yes, then say no and the final answer is no, and if someone says no multiple times and is coerced into saying yes, that should also be a no, but no matter the tone a yes is a yes

2022-01-14T18:13:00+00:00

I heard it’s “No or Go”.

Leaders take command.

ThePhunkyPhantom13 · 2022-01-14T18:28:41+00:00

Well it can be fun getting them not not only say yes but beg for it.

b_a_d_r0b0t · 2022-01-14T19:09:30+00:00

Women will put you in either one of the two categories within 5 minutes of meeting you. 1) You will be used to fulfil her carnal desires 2) You will be used for your resources/utilities/attention.

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2022-01-14T20:23:17+00:00

We all know that men fuck anything that moves and women will only fuck the best. So that rule only applies to women.

DakiAge · 2022-01-14T20:33:47+00:00

Are you looking for a girl to marry or a girl to fuck?

That's true for the first case but not much for the latter.

She doesn't need to be that interested in me when things are casual.

Andra8951 · 2022-01-14T19:17:28+00:00

First no means yes. Second no means yes. Third no means NO.

sunkized · 2022-01-14T20:58:19+00:00

Huh?

i_love_crazy_hobos · 2022-01-14T21:57:48+00:00

I think it depends on the situation. If you’re trying to get better with chicks for example; then i would not only restrict approaching to girls who are a “fuck yes”, because you’re losing momentum and practice

guice666 · 2022-01-14T22:13:34+00:00

Honestly, I think it varies on context.

About them / something: if you are not "fuck yes", then there's a reason. Ask yourself why.
About me: anything that's not a "No" is "I can be convinced" or a "fuck yes."
From them: it's safe to say if it's not a "fuck yes", it's a "No!" There is a reason why they're wavering. Don't push for a yes, but it is okay to ask out of curiosity, not to try a convince them.

Kye7 · 2022-01-14T22:37:40+00:00

Hello fellow Entrepreneurs in Cars watcher.

Just listen to the man. No need to ask reddit.

jackzander · 2022-01-14T22:56:01+00:00

Nah, I think this mindset is just a way for people to feel better about their lack of success.

It lets you pseudo-reject people who... didn't show a strong enough interest in you? It's a cool trick for feeling like you have more power than you do, but that's about it.

FormalFar7518 · 2022-01-14T23:24:32+00:00

Absolutely, always better when it's a fuck yes!

Decumulate · 2022-01-14T23:27:16+00:00

Depends on context. There are a lot of things that require skepticism before turning into a fuck yes. A first date is usually one of those things that coverts fuzziness into a fuck yes or fuck no.

sk8r_dude · 2022-01-15T00:22:40+00:00

Usually yes, especially with people you don’t know that well. For someone who you know and you know they are into you but maybe just timid because that’s how they are, then an enthusiastic yes is not always necessary. You can read body language too and see if someone is clearly aroused and wants to keep going without necessarily wanting to say so. An example is if your cuddling with someone who just said they don’t want to do anything sexual and then they start rubbing their butt right on your junk. It doesn’t hurt to reciprocate and then ask “should I keep going” and so forth. In that case, I think it’s pretty clear, but there’s a lot of gray area between there and no where I think you should air towards “this means no”.

mandoa_sky · 2022-01-15T00:45:39+00:00

not always.

random message asking to hang out the next day. if person respects maybe i already made plans - then i'm happy to hang out another time.

if they don't, then it's a definite no from me.

roaphaen · 2022-01-15T00:49:34+00:00

This is a really dumb saying. Like you were just born in your soul knowing what is good. Was the first time you drank vodka a 'fuck yes'? How about anything that made you anxious, but turned out fun, like a rollercoaster or loud film as a child? I have news for you, dating is a MARKET, which almost always means like buying a house, there will be little things that need work or have a normal level of dissatisfaction. But so does your next date. This stupid concept makes you always chase the next delusional fantasy because the thing up can only see on an Instagram highlight reel always appears better than the reality you know. Be enthusiastic. If you have a lot of options maybe follow this saying, but applied broadly it is a falsity for a lot of people.

sunnyimmelting · 2022-01-15T00:52:18+00:00

Been listening to Mark Manson ey?

2022-01-15T01:26:37+00:00

Depends. Sometimes relationships start off really weird and blossom beautifully...it all depends and I wish everything was so simple...

2022-01-15T02:31:05+00:00

I disagree totally. I don’t know why majority of people on here are saying they agree.

Seduction is an art, it takes time, skill and effort.

In most cases a “no” is a no, but even that is reversible, but you’re better off letting go.

However, a subtle yes, even subtle acceptance gives you room to play and it’s all a matter of your own skill and ability here.

If you think a subtle yes Is a no, that indicates that you lack the ability and skill.

dani098 · 2022-01-15T02:32:30+00:00

Often hard to interpret a “fuck Yes” through text though

jessiepc145 · 2022-01-15T02:39:17+00:00

Fuck no

RoseTinted64 · 2022-01-15T07:05:53+00:00

I think the important takeaway from this is to always be aware of genuine desire. A woman who genuinely wants to be with you/bang you will never send “mixed signals”. She won’t flake on you or play games. She will do everything in her power to BE WITH YOU.

OppaLadyKiller · 2022-01-15T07:36:45+00:00

As an Australian,

Fucking oath

Tremaparagon · 2022-01-15T07:47:24+00:00

Guy here, most cases, with most people, agree. But I do think this line of thinking might only work best for people who fit into a mainstream type of appeal. I would consider myself "unconventionally attractive". For various attributes, I'm not the type that ever turns heads or instantly gets women interested just by being there.

If I stuck strictly to "if it's not a fuck yes, it's a no" I would probably still be at 0 experience, kissless handholdless etc. Instead i've of course had a variety of great physical experiences with ladies, but usually they've expressed in one way or another something along the lines of wasn't really sure I was too keen on you initially but glad I gave it a shot this has been a blast!

tldr if you're the type that takes a bit longer to get the build attraction ball rolling, then put an asterisk to OP's statement to allow some room for that fuck yes to come out instead of giving up because it's rarely present early on.

byteseed · 2022-01-15T07:53:09+00:00

Absolutely. Life is short to spend time with people who do not appreciate you. Remember, it goes both ways. If you can’t say “yes!” to your romantic partner or friend, do not do it. It should be hard Yes from both of you.

Valuable-Factor-5468 · 2022-01-15T10:20:23+00:00

Absolutely, I'm not interested in bargaining or pleading with someone when it comes to dating, if their is hesitation from her, take the L and move on.

merf_me2 · 2022-01-15T16:08:02+00:00

I've never heard an enthusiastic fuck yes to medical testing but everyone still does it.

ExtremeNihilism · 2022-01-15T19:21:22+00:00

Absolutely.

Title	Do you agree of disagree with the phrase "If it's not a fuck yes, it's a no"?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	267
Comments	109
Date	January 14, 2022 4:27 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s3wctn/do_you_agree_of_disagree_with_the_phrase_if_its/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-you-agree-of-disagree-with-the-phrase-if-its.1269055 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269055

Comments