Today I hit rock bottom: Seduction will not save you.

zombieflow · 2015-11-04T19:39:57+00:00

Great story, I would like to leave a quote to complement it.

“Life is like a piano; the white keys represent happiness and the black show sadness. But as you go through life's journey, remember that the black keys also create music.”

― Ehssan

almondbutter1 · 2015-11-04T20:24:22+00:00

In models, Manson specifically addresses this when he gives the example of the interesting guy who gets married and then lets everything that made him interesting fall by the wayside, thus becoming overly invested in her, causing her to lose attraction.

Tl;dr your life is not one person.

UndidIridium · 2015-11-04T16:59:28+00:00

Pickup and seduction won't save you.

Correct. It won't. It's not intended to. Look at the first qualifier of the description of this subreddit: "self-improvement." That's it. Not that that's merely it, but that it is the cornerstone of everything.

Invest heavily in yourself and build a solid you at your core, and continue striving to be the best version of yourself. Everything else, like being successful in pick-up, whatever else, are mere byproducts. Seduction is simply an additional skillset which banks heavily on your established confidence, to add to the vibrance of your life.

I personally don't go out to approach women. I go about my daily routines as normal. Whatever good people (not just pretty women) I meet along the way, are simply perks of me trying to live my life, and pursuing my interests within my current means.

The_Music · 2015-11-04T15:44:41+00:00

You should never approach any activity with the expectation that it will make you happy. It sets you up for failure and feelings of unfulfillment.

WayOfTheGentleman · 2015-11-04T16:55:04+00:00

Why does it have to be an either/or?

You can work on your seductive powers AND build a quality, solid life surrounded by good people.

astrokidd · 2015-11-05T04:02:47+00:00

I'm gonna tell you a story that is extremely relevant to this topic.

The purpose of the life of Alexander the great was to conquer the world. That's what he was living for. One day on a journey with his army, he ended up at the banks of a river. At that moment, he saw a homeless man, Diogenes, lying on the sands of the river enjoying the sunlight to the fullest. He seemed so happy, so Alexander went over to him.

Alexander: Hey, do you know how to cross this river?

Diogenes: Where are you intending to go?

Alexander: I am on the journey to conquer the whole world.

Diogenes: What are you going to do after conquering the whole world?

Alexander: Then only I will feel satisfied and happy.

Diogenes: If all you're seeking is happiness, you don't need to go through all that. Just sit down next to me, enjoy this morning sunlight and be happy like me.

Alexander had enlightenment with that conversation and realized that happiness cannot be found in external world. If you're trying to achieve something so that you can feel happy, it is NOT going to happen. Money, sex, cars, houses, positions of power, none of them are gonna make you feel happy. After all, you're doing all this to seek approval of others, and approval of others should never be the source of happiness, as we discuss in this community all the time.

You guys should read "Feeling Good" book that is strongly recommended in the sidebar. This book explains this principles in great great detail. Must read.

rickrossroll · 2015-11-05T02:13:12+00:00

External validation is bad, and it's hard to get over. Whether it's girls, your racing, lifting, or your youtube channel. It seems like you need to find your own intrinsic value. It won't happen without self-reflection and a lot of work.

Also, there's either something seriously wrong with the relationship if you go from madly in love for a few months to getting your facebook and number blocked. I feel like there's some unpleasant facts in that story you're leaving out. It doesn't really matter what they are, but that is going to take a lot of self-reflection to remedy as well.

southpole4 · 2015-11-04T22:52:49+00:00

Wow ..just wow. Thank you so much for posting this. Ever since I was a kid I thought that having a woman in your life was the greatest thing you can achieve, but over the last year I've began to realize that no girl can bring me complete happiness. They can bring a lot of happiness, no doubt, but in order to be a healthy man women can't be my primary focus in life. Your post really hit home and I'm glad I'm learning this now while I still have my best years ahead of me. Thanks

time_and_again · 2015-11-04T22:38:08+00:00

Hardest part for me after feeling these lows is rediscovering the purpose. As bad as it is to pedestalize, appease, and sacrifice, you at least have a sort of misguided goal in all of it, a romantic ideal you're striving towards. Once you lose that and the cold, pragmatic nature of it all is laid bare, it's tough to find a new paradigm to work under, something that incorporates enthusiasm and romance, but without the delusions you grew up with.

rgravano · 2015-11-04T20:47:52+00:00

Just out of curiosity since I'm a car guy myself. What type of car u driving? Into JDM at all?

zentee · 2015-11-04T21:21:12+00:00

Honestly I'm happy for you. Huge ups and downs, but you're moving on. You're growing, taking those experiences in, learning from them. Giving them your own meaning. That's what's important. Hang on buddy, rely on your friends and smile on. One step at a time.

Thanks for the read :]

SpookyKG · 2015-11-04T21:43:49+00:00

It sounds like you never approached this from a place of stability. The fact that NoFap changed your life shows that... you were always just searching for something to complete or fix you.

This seems to be a problem independent of pickup.

sebruzda · 2015-11-04T17:55:00+00:00

Wow. Incredible story. Thank you for sharing. The subject of the importance of the self seems to be avoided in alot of these pickup literature. Come to think of it, its absent in society as well. Society makes us focus on the end goal and impressing people around us. It never tells us to care about our selves. Thats too empowering.

chaoscarrot · 2015-11-04T21:45:25+00:00

Most people operate under the assumption that 'having' and 'doing' will allow one to 'be' something. E.g., if I have a girlfriend then I will do things with her and I will be happy.

Its actually the opposite. First you have to be happy, then you will do things and have things out of that happiness. But it starts with the happiness within.

Nigel_Vertigo · 2015-11-04T22:26:00+00:00

This is one of the best posts I've read here. BRB, working on shitty drift car I've neglected.

AdolfSchmitler · 2015-11-05T04:01:48+00:00

sounds like a MGTOW post tbh lol

autumnwolf27 · 2015-11-05T05:52:16+00:00

your anxiety was gone specifically because of noFap or it was the combination of those choices?

redpillcynic · 2015-11-05T14:11:43+00:00

She lost attraction because you went back to your blue pill beta ways and didn't hold frame.

sup3r_saiyan · 2015-11-05T02:13:05+00:00

Rock bottom? you're an absolute joke! Look it sucks that women keep leaving you, so there's definitely something there. AND, did you learn something from it? no, you started your last paragraph with "in fact, I'm hitting the field today" so you keep seeking cheap thrills to mask some deep insecurities you have. You my friend haven't learned a damn thing, you know what hitting rock bottom is? hitting rock bottom is being a father of 4 somewhere in eastern Europe escaping war with your little belongings trying to cross borders to get to Europe. Rock bottom is people in Mexico fearing their life will be taken away because of the cartel etc etc. You my friend have a job/car, make a decent living, you Bragg about your apartment and how you can get every woman out there. Then you turn around and complain?? Give me a break man, i dare you to do this, take all your savings, sell everything you have and go live in a village in India or Kenya for a year working in a farm. You will grow more in that year than the rest of your life and until you see how people 'other' than you really live you will never truly appreciate the life that you have irrespective of women.

AtticusWarhol · 2015-11-04T22:35:12+00:00

And this is where TRP comes in

ygaddy · 2015-11-05T10:03:47+00:00

Bizarre that nobody has mentioned that you posted your story in TRP yesterday. I would have thought there were more cross-subscribers between this sub and that one.

throwaway_holla · 2015-11-05T02:20:44+00:00

bare with me

Bear with me. "Bare" means to get naked. "Bear" means to carry a burden.

Apneal · 2015-11-05T05:39:01+00:00

Yea sure, I'm empathetic to OP, lesson to be learned, but at the same time, fuck him. 90% of the world would switch places with him if the truth was that this isn't some seddit fan fiction on par with the direction tifu has long gone. To throw around all this "rock bottom" shit... fuck you OP.

dub_side · 2015-11-04T21:32:37+00:00

What kind of car did you get and race

neocelt · 2015-11-04T21:49:45+00:00

Thanks for sharing dude. Great post

Hessofuckingitalian · 2015-11-04T23:17:16+00:00

Wow thanks mate

Ohuma · 2015-11-04T23:26:49+00:00

Dude, building yourself up is essential for PUA's. Everything else after that should follow suit.

Get over the girl, you admitted yourself that you have different goals. No reason to be bent out of shape since it was bound to fail sooner rather than later

jewfro667 · 2015-11-05T00:00:20+00:00

Yup, I am currently in this hole. I'm not exactly giving up on dating (went on a nice one last night) but I'm going to lessen them and work on myself more. I was so focused the last few months on dating that I had one lined up every week from online. It fucking sucked. I didn't even have sex like I thought I would. I'm only recently coming to terms with how unhappy I am in my own life and how I have to fix it. I fucking hate my job and it's causing me a lot of stress just looking for a new one where I can actually see myself progressing. This makes me really confused about the date I had last night. I really like that girl and I'm planning to ask her out again but I know that I can't let it take over my life/attention if it progresses beyond a few months and that I have to actually focus on myself as well again. I haven't felt this way about myself since my ex and I broke up. Fuck.

blunt_monger · 2015-11-05T01:52:22+00:00

Rock bottom is where you stop digging. Everybody on this sub, please take this post to heart. You need to be content with your life and self first in order to be truly happy.

ZephyrBluu · 2015-11-05T02:23:26+00:00

It actually took me a couple of reads for this to truly sink in. Women are ONLY a bonus, not our lives. I can live my life without women and still lead a great life :)

_mindyourbusiness · 2015-11-05T02:24:03+00:00

Thanks for sharing and I hope things work out for you brother.

My advice to anyone interested is to take what you want from the game. The game will get you laid but it won't make you happy in the long run so don't make it your life. In my case- I was really into it for 3 years after a break up and during those years I learned some very valuable lessons.

These days I'm focused on building my business and making a better life for myself but those skills can never be forgotten. I still DHV and Neg the occasional cute girl at the party/bar/on social media but my effort is drastically less than what it once was. Focus on yourself and they'll be knocking.

Chase your dreams... Not women. My dreams are why I can't have anything serious... They want more but respect that women aren't a priority.

My dreams are why I can't hang out much... So when she they finally get me alone they make the best use of my time.

My dreams are why I stop communicating for weeks at a time... They respect that and it only takes a phone call to get them back in my bedroom.

I guess my biggest advice is to focus on building open and honest genuine friendships.

throwaway_holla · 2015-11-05T02:26:28+00:00

I'm hitting the field today. But I'm most certainly focusing wholeheartedly on my true purpose now.

Which is what?

lifesbrink · 2015-11-05T03:40:14+00:00

This story definitely had a positive effect on me. Thank you for sharing it! I feel more inspired than I have in years.

scienceistruth1 · 2015-11-05T05:44:57+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. Truly beautiful! This is helping me a lot today.

youngintel · 2015-11-05T06:08:11+00:00

Wow man, I've never found anything in seduction or pick up that really hit home for me like what you said. I mean Ive heard work on inner game, inner joy, and all that so many times but this right here really spoke to me. I can completely relate because Ive gone through it myself. I used to be lonesome and quiet until I focused on my joys of art and music which gave me meaning and confidence which led to friends which led to true natural game with girls then had my on n off girlfriend of 5 years. Such expectations of finding my value and happiness in a girl grew so big that by the time I truely let her go I had met the worse of my anger (always had anger issues), depression (never had it), and anxiety to the point of hyperventilating and feeling as though i would pass out (again never had it.) But now I dont have any of that because I'm again focusing on art, music, making new friends and acquaintancea, moving along in the beginning of my working career to start something for myself, school, culture (spent my whole summer in italy to learn italian and about my family history, and basically just living life. God man, I wish I could just shake your hand because I'm so proud of you for going through this and seeing the meaning and value in it all but most importantly, sharing it with others so atleast some can keep it in mind so they can see it for themselves.

Women and seduction is great but what the fuck is any of that worth if your not living your life to what you believe is its fullest? I have a friend who litterally became a ladys man after going through puberty, he doesnt even quite have any skills just the fact of being really handsome and knowing when a girl thinks hes hot and working on that. But otherwise this guy hasnt done much with his life and almost seems like it wont change and when he doesnt have a girl by his side or cant get a girl he wants he gets super depressed as tho theyre the definition of his being. Its sad and women and seduction can be just as bad as drugs or any addiction, its just some type of good feeling numbing and covering up what may seem as tho you are truly satisfied with yourself and life. We have to make sure were happy with ourselves and our lives before we can become happy with our intimate and sexual relationships. Kudos again for sharing this.

Wooyaka · 2015-11-05T06:38:05+00:00

"And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

― J.K. Rowling

tamilgangster · 2015-11-05T09:00:21+00:00

this is mgtow shit doesnt belong here

trabso · 2015-11-05T11:43:56+00:00

Seems like your problems came from LTRs rather than the flings. When you're a man in your prime, kicking ass in the real world, women are for fun, not commited romance that "gives meaning" to your life. Save that for when you want kids.

meditate_on_my_nuts · 2015-11-05T13:35:16+00:00

This is certain enlightening. Thank you for this and I wish you the best.

smoooooothie · 2015-11-05T13:59:25+00:00

This was truly beautiful. Thank you.

Mi5ery · 2015-11-05T14:38:53+00:00

I chose to let go for the first time. Like purely let go. I can't describe it any other way that just freedom.

thepillow86 · 2015-11-05T14:51:14+00:00

This is mega inspiring

txroller · 2015-11-05T14:54:48+00:00

you must have watched Groundhog day; if you haven't do it

Jpd1234me · 2015-11-05T15:20:43+00:00

I'm new to Reddit and your story is absolutely amazing! Things will work out for you, there's no doubt about it!! One thing that helps me thru hard times is something my dad tells me, "this too shall pass". And it does! Always!

chillfancy · 2015-11-06T01:15:14+00:00

I feel for you, and have personally been through several DEEP troughs in my life, so I get it. However, I want to point out that seduction and what you've learned in PU isn't the problem. The problem is that you lost momentum in your life and this girl felt it. She wasn't the one because she didn't see the potential in you, and worse you might have lost sight of it too.

True strength isn't being invulnerable, it's being strong enough to know that you can come back. Rock bottom isn't being lost, it's prison or death. I love the book, "The Art of Power" which deals with social power and happiness. You have to enjoy the moment, and understand that as long as you are walking, you will find your path.

As far as relationships go, I had a rough breakup under very similar circumstances a few years ago. I was very turned off by the whole dating scene and reluctant to trust anyone again. I was lost in my career, in my relationships, and in life. Eventually I started going out again and applying PU concepts to ALL of my interactions: reading people, eye contact, keno, manipulating a group conversations, ect.. I met a beautiful girl with her girlfriends one night using a PU technique, but took another girl home on my bike that night (what do you ride?). Nothing happened with that girl, but slowly I stated a relationship with that beautiful girl that turned into now over a 2 year friendship and awesome relationship!

My girlfriend loves to be flirty and talk to people like I do, and the skills I learned in PU are still exciting to use. I use the concepts in work and in my social life. I have a very high-stress and political job, so making people like me and want to do favors for me is invaluable.

Seelkard · 2015-11-17T04:22:14+00:00

You should work on your inner and outer game hand by hand.

Xman11815 · 2015-11-05T01:35:55+00:00

You think this is rock bottom? Lol, my friend, just wait. You have no idea what rock bottom is.

GLOOTS_OF_PEACE · 2015-11-05T05:46:24+00:00

Focus on yourself, you, your goals, your hobbies, and what you love.

LOL that's one of the main things that 'seduction' and this whole thing is about, did you miss that one son? To be good with women long term, you gotta be happy with WHO you are because who you are is what women are attracted to. It's fundamental to your self esteem. I hope you guys aren't going out there approaching women to try fulfil themselves lol.

MistaFrees · 2015-11-05T03:23:20+00:00

"The little reptilian part of your brain was trained over millennia to stick a funny appendage in a warm hole so the human race could survive."

best quote I read all day

adventuresociety · 2015-11-05T14:52:11+00:00

Actually I agree, people search for someone to feel 'full' or complete, but it's just an illusion. Only when one internally feels full and ok, external things start to happen, when you are sad and depressed it's really hard to be interesting to women. Go listen to disco funk.

Wootangy · 2015-11-18T15:30:38+00:00

Great Post!!! This just put so much into perspective for me as I feel like I have had the same scenario happen to me give or take. All you can do is smile reflect and move on. Thanks for sharing. Truly helpful and motivational.

GJLuke · 2015-11-04T22:37:32+00:00

Awesome post! Thanks for sharing us your incredible journey so far!

Lots of the writing reminded me of this amazing video, that I think you'll really connect with: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49bMfbYg4ZM

TryTheRedOne · 2015-11-05T13:32:44+00:00

Is this a joke? Is this what people think hitting rock bottom is?

shuritsen · 2015-11-05T05:46:05+00:00

You're beginning to see beyond the light. Here's the next step:

r/TheRedPill

See you on the other side.

Lets_Share_This_Name · 2015-11-05T18:01:38+00:00

Tl; dr pleeez

Title	Today I hit rock bottom: Seduction will not save you.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	710
Comments	117
Date	November 4, 2015 3:26 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3ri2h9/today_i_hit_rock_bottom_seduction_will_not_save/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/today-i-hit-rock-bottom-seduction-will-not-save.1397054 https://theredarchive.com/post/1397054

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