Girls on Tinder do not want to meet in person

Alex_O7 · 2019-01-26T16:13:28+00:00

When I manage to keep a logical conversation

Man your error is here. Less logical conversation and more emotional conversation. Make some jokes and make her laugh. Try to show her your emotional side and let the girl show her own.

Than ask her out as soon as a little bit of emotional connection is in the air between you and your match. If she use some real exuses (like if she is really busy) try again some day after that. If she use just ordinary excuses than ghost her and move on.

CamoWoobie10 · 2019-01-26T19:47:00+00:00

Majority of women just use tinder for entertainment, validation and the rare hook up with guys WAY out of their league. Know what you're up against and dont get your Hope's up

snailcases · 2019-01-26T15:20:29+00:00

Use photos to your advantage. Smile. Take pics with your pets. With kids. Other women. Just so she knows you're safe. Most women are afraid if getting murdered.

BryanJz · 2019-01-26T12:55:04+00:00

You have to build up some comfort and emotional intrigue first, though difficult on Tinder. You should wanna keep texting to a minimum but this means you have to maximize them;

- Comment on her profile/bio/background in a clever way, don't get stuck in ''logical'' conversation. Make it ambiguous and fun
- Within a few strong messages and good emotional responses, ''how about we upgrade our tinder status?'' ...wait.. '' here is my number/give me your number''
- Wait a bit, Text her/open up with a recall to a previous conversation. Keep texting short.
- Ask her availability./Call her (calling has increased my rate for Tinder pulls by a ton)
- 10-20 minutes of conversation (this builds a connection, removes a lot of nerves and solidifies you versus other Tinder profiles. You're a person now)
- Set up the date, <1 week,
- Text her the day before to confirm/with something witty
- Date (with a higher chance of success)

Also what usually works is to incorporate the date idea into the conversation by means of flirtation, then after the seed is planted ask her out. You have to give the girl time to wonder, build her excitement up, get her emotionally invested somewhat/somehow, for example (just an example);

''Oh, so what you're saying is you're the study-hard, Netflix type? and here I was thinking about inviting you out for some cocktails'' (Her: Haha, noo I totally have another side too) - you're not needy or pushy, cause it's not direct.

''Greece vacation? So lots of cocktails and sun, good to know'' (Her: .. I love cocktails!) then you continue texting > so ''how about we pretend its vacation and go have a cocktail this week'' / ''how about we make that cocktail idea a reality?'' - number/call/date-plan

TheWaffleMan96 · 2019-01-26T15:31:42+00:00

Recent strategy I been using.

I get a match with a girl. If I super like it works surprisingly less effective, but still does nonetheless.

Opener.

"What are the three words which best describe you."

She immediately gets invested to qualify herself, even if the conversation will not lead anywhere further.

So you get "I am A,B and C" or a variation of thereof. If it is something close to her heart, you immediately get a combination of 4 emotional things you can get her to talk about and they all get her on the hook. Nothing logical about them. If the conversation is moving smoothly keep 70:30 emotion:logic.

I also realised, though this might be area specific that it is important to profile girls. Girls in my area are usually relationship seeking, fun online chat seeking, or fuck knows. Very few actually are into getting laid that very night.

So exchange instagram. And a better will be to say that you are not on tinder match, how bout we exchange instagrams. If she is hooked enough, just sent her your instagram and wait till she follows.

On insta you become a real person, and you can like her photos comment and continue in the DM's. Now from there just set up the date, as I had only one flake who gave me an insta and her number and flaked.

WaitingForTheFire · 2019-01-26T16:18:47+00:00

You actually got girls to match with you????? I thought that was just a myth or a legend that this happens.

Funkimonkey · 2019-01-26T14:33:52+00:00

Stop having logical conversations.

mercurysquad · 2019-01-26T14:55:14+00:00

I've found that "get to know you better" is usually not true, and is an excuse. Girls know very early whether they want to meet you or not. Again I might be wrong but most of my Tinder dates (when I was on it, it's useless of late), were setup within a few hours. Often a 30 min chat. A few jokes, some display of social value, a bit of confidence and you're golden. Apparently most guys on Tinder are sex-thirsty douches with no social skill (?)

One of my female friends told me about a guy who opened with "So xyz, are you up for coffee tonight?" According to her, that confidence was enough to differentiate him, and she did go out that evening. Of course he could have just been 10/10 good looking.

What I'm trying to say is, don't waste too much time on someone who doesn't sound enthusiastic from the get go. You're not going to win her over after days/weeks of chatting. The only times that worked for me was when the girls were in different cities and I didn't have any trip planned till later.

ajswdf · 2019-01-26T17:21:09+00:00

This isn't uncommon at all. That's a big reason why you should ask them out quickly, to weed out the ones who don't want to meet in person.

Usually I just say something like "Let's get drinks sometime. I'll be free Saturday at 8, does that work for you?"

That makes it easy for her, it's a simple yes or no question.

HugeVibes · 2019-01-26T20:23:00+00:00

Lol what? Most girls on tinder want only one thing and it's fucking disgusting.

Jokes aside, there are a ton of girls who are using it as their personal meme platform. Like hypothetically these girls are down, but either they are scared to be used just for sex (with good reason), or too insecure about something. IME best way to gauge if she wants anything more is let her take the lead. You'll know soon enough.

Also a good way is if you go to the same clubs or bars to just ask if she'll be there too. She might not be, but if she likes you enough she'll ask the same question back at another time.

UniqueUserName2017 · 2019-01-26T20:50:46+00:00

What works for me is letting them know that i dont like to chit chat online, and mention that im not good at it. You can offer something like meeting up at a public place like eating sushi or some cool spot in town, youd rather get to know each other in person than Chat online. This works for me Also, ask if you can call, calling brings you out of the herd and shows your confidence. it breaks the ice and makes them more comfortable with you.

Oxychin · 2019-01-27T05:37:51+00:00

Dude, girls will make it obvious if they wanna meet. Learn to lead the way. If they don’t follow you, then you’re just wasting your time. Which seems to be common with dating apps. Girls really do use it for validation purposes. Swallow that. It’s reality. Trust me, if they really wanna meet with you they will make it easy, not hard.

aj_thenoob · 2019-01-26T13:56:23+00:00

After a few messages back and forth "Hey why don't you shoot me a text. My number's _____. Why don't we get drinks/dinner on _______? (Specific day of the week)". I don't use tinder but always did this on dating sites and I also do it in person. I use a different technique if I sense that the girl is shy however.

taeryne · 2019-01-26T19:09:42+00:00

I would say women are apprehensive because the majority of male tinder users (in my experience) are looking for "PUSSY TONIGHT!" Also, I've personally been sexually assaulted/injured by 3 ppl I've met from Tinder... Not saying I was raped (like some snowflakes would) as I definitely consented to sex, but I did not consent to being bloody, bruised, throat raped unconscious or to having ripped orifices. A good portion of them were nerds or fat guys & never mentioned meeting up, just wanting to jerk to a woman's voice or the thought of a vagina. It's overall a nervous experience for women to meet a strange man. That being said, the whole "I want to get to know you better" is either retarded logic (you never really know anybody) or an excuse to narrow down the options. I think a more accurate reason for waiting is to gauge the likely craziness/instability of the other person.

testandreview · 2019-01-26T17:49:44+00:00

You already miss the 1st step: Changing to Facebook/Messenger asap. Thats extremely important, trust me.

BasedSage · 2019-01-26T19:55:07+00:00

Tinder sets up the phone call. Phone call sets up the date.

2019-01-26T20:46:48+00:00

You aren’t doing anything wrong, online women are bizarre!! They are online but are sooooo unfriendly, cold, not personable, etc... they talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk...

MACNC45 · 2019-01-26T23:10:09+00:00

I only use Tinder for the compliments and the reminder that I am desirable and wanted. 👍🏽

Plumbdog_millionair · 2019-01-26T11:29:29+00:00

Number one advice from my experience Is get their number or a form of social media! Once you have that there’s more trust from her, plus if it’s social media see can see you’re not a catfish!

2019-01-27T00:35:09+00:00

Try Bumble. I've never had any success on Tinder but have gotten 4 dates in the last last month with Bumble alone. Most women on Tinder are just using it for a self esteem boost.

atomtom65 · 2019-01-27T01:52:46+00:00

That's just your perception. For men Tinder is a numbers game. You might have to ask 10 girls before you get one that says yes. Maybe be more direct with how you're asking. Invite to a an not just a general let's hangout.

ImAnIronmanBtw · 2019-01-26T16:16:05+00:00

Most of them, yeah, but you should be able to easily tell.

2019-01-26T17:38:42+00:00

It’s takes a little bit of time usually. It’s just about them being comfortable and I let them know there is no expectations either. You’ll get flakes on, ghosted, etc but don’t give up. There are some amazing people on there. Good luck.

Thatsenpaicrazy · 2019-01-26T18:15:45+00:00

Yeah, it's really taking a blow to my self-esteem. So many matches and hardly any of them talk and NONE of them have tried meeting. WTF is the point. Makes me want to punch someone

2019-01-26T23:36:56+00:00

This is fake. No guy on tinder gets matches /s

feesih0ps · 2019-01-27T00:13:58+00:00

Why bother with logical conversation? Just make dumb jokes and be smart and different but not weird.

Yodiax · 2019-01-27T02:11:37+00:00

It’s not the girls, it’s you.

Chamizo4 · 2019-01-27T05:01:58+00:00

Those answers....

They hurt.....even when they are not directed at me.

They clearly don't wanna meet YOU.

myhoeacademia · 2019-01-27T08:38:35+00:00

You’re not the only guy who hasn’t had much luck on dating apps like Tinder. To really pinpoint your issue, can you give more context?

LingeringGnome · 2019-01-27T10:10:10+00:00

Improve your gym game, grow a short beard. Get a tan. show off your muscles. have pics of you in the OUTDOORS, not jerking off with bros in bars or near a couch in your apartment. Anything indoors or couch-y is generally lame as fuck unless you have a women on your arm who looks happy and turned on (you can see that in the eyes).

Tinder is perfectly fine when you do that.

ChipotleM · 2019-01-27T00:50:08+00:00

How are you asking to meet up in person? Not sure what you’ve asked so far but my suggestion would be something public and casual. For example getting coffee at a local Starbucks or grabbing some lunch. That way there is very little commitment, it’s an hour at max, and there are people around so it’ll be harder for you to kidnap her and wear her skin.

JodumScrodum · 2019-01-26T17:59:01+00:00

I don't know how everyone else's experience is once you get the number and set up a date, but I've been getting a lot of flakes on the dates we set up. Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I feel that's just the nature of the app.

totalwpierdol · 2019-01-26T18:53:47+00:00

Well it's a common problem with Tinder

2019-01-26T21:53:33+00:00

Its generally a red flag if a few messages in she out right gives you her phone number.

allgrownzup · 2019-01-26T23:38:35+00:00

Assuming you’re 21?

2019-01-26T23:43:08+00:00

Tbh they’re probably in it for attention. I know a lot of girls just go on there to get attention from dudes and don’t plan on going any further than in-app for conversations.

gumnutgirl · 2019-02-06T10:22:39+00:00

Girl on tinder here - I will either mention possibly hanging out sometime myself in the conversation if I want to, or hint to it/set up the conversation so the guy could easily ask to catch up. Otherwise, no I probably don’t want to meet in person.

goobersmooch · 2019-01-26T18:16:20+00:00

You are low on the list. They are meeting, but just not you.

Title	Girls on Tinder do not want to meet in person
Author	UnluckyBuilding
Upvotes	245
Comments	109
Date	January 26, 2019 11:26 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ak04fu/girls_on_tinder_do_not_want_to_meet_in_person/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girls-on-tinder-do-not-want-to-meet-in-person.1461194 https://theredarchive.com/post/1461194

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