The reasons divorce sucks for men are social, not financial

januaryphilosopher · 2024-04-07T21:02:12+00:00

Divorced men face less stigma and are more likely to remarry. They are less likely to have to care for their children.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2024-04-07T21:05:20+00:00

It's the social aspect. After a certain age, older, single men are viewed as creeps or even potential predators and ped0s

Source: It was revealed to me in a dream

Also, there is the dating aspect when you already have kids. Stepdads are viewed more positively than stepmoms in our society for whatever reason. There are also fewer expectations towards stepdads than towards stepmoms. If a stepdad is not an abuser or a ped0 it's typically viewed as a win. He doesn't even have to do anything. For stepmoms there are more complicated rules, especially if the baby mama is still in the picture. Stepmoms are expected to play mommy and love the kids as her own but also never overstep

90% of that stuff is also applied to stepdads lmao.

I have a feeling this is a big reason why many divorced men become deadbeats

Source: i made it the fuck up

ThrowRA_forfreedom · 2024-04-07T21:24:51+00:00

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2014/12/04/tying-the-knot-again-chances-are-theres-a-bigger-age-gap-than-the-first-time-around/

Bummer that people are getting the impression that men are totally trashed after divorce. Though I definitely get it feeling that way, there's absolutely hope! Statistically -- in the US -- men are more likely to remarry, and remarry faster than women, often to a younger partner!

The article above is specific to the age gap study, but it links to the other data throughout.

Traditional_Crew6617 · 2024-04-07T20:54:59+00:00

Where did you get this nonsense from? Are you a divorced man?

RelativeYak7 · 2024-04-07T20:50:45+00:00

I personally find divorced dads hot and sexy, I'm with one and love it because I have no responsibility over the kids. Can be the fun aunt which suits my personality.

63daddy · 2024-04-07T21:18:16+00:00

I know a lot of divorced men who have no interest in remarrying. There seem to be two relevant factors: 1. Potential loss of wealth, so yes, men absolutely care about losing their wealth via divorce, especially when they’ve experienced it first hand. 2. They don’t want kids/more kids, so they don’t see a real benefit to marriage. They can enjoy dating, without the risk marriage entails. (Which is my overall outlook as well).

I think another related factor is that it’s much easier to walk away if a relationship goes bad if it’s not a marriage.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2024-04-08T00:17:08+00:00

WTF? This is one of the most ridiculous takes I’ve ever heard.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-04-07T20:55:53+00:00

Most men can recover from the financial devastation of divorce.

This is like saying the worst part of getting your leg broken was not because your leg got broken but the embarassment of faceplanting on the ground after all your leg will heal eventually.

rootsnyder · 2024-04-07T21:13:37+00:00

aannndd.... the dumbest ppd take of the day goess toooo....

pence_secundus · 2024-04-08T00:00:19+00:00

Most men do not recover from the financial burden of divorce.

You both lose everything and are saddled with massive debt.

Even getting divorced in your mid 20's will put you back significantly.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-04-08T10:10:37+00:00

Well it sucks both socially and financially. First-hand experience.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-04-08T00:04:17+00:00

Divorced men are not “excluded from polite society,” wtf. More women are willing to be step moms than vice versa, especially because men don’t usually have primary custody. There’s more stigma toward single moms, but divorced people in general don’t face that much stigma anymore. Of course nobody wants to be divorced, but it’s quite common and accepted these days and you’re making it sound like a far bigger stigma than it really is.

Thaeland · 2024-04-07T20:57:06+00:00

I completely disagree about it being social and not financial. To me the financial hardship would be the worst part pf all especially with children involved. Some men pay 30%-50% of their income for child support and only get to see their children twice a month. Many have to work multiple jobs just to stay afloat. Some men have even had to pay alimony from divorce until their death.... I call BS...

https://mensdivorce.com/suicide-rates-high-divorced-men/

FromAuntToNiece · 2024-04-07T22:58:24+00:00

What you didn't mention was the harm towards career prospects arising from divorce. That unites both financial and social.

The harm towards future earnings potential is more social than meets the eye.

cromulent_weasel · 2024-04-08T01:43:28+00:00

It's the social aspect.

I agree with this. When my marriage came to an end I realised that I didn't have a single friend, because over the years my attention had been gradually turning inwards with the demands of kids etc. All of the people we saw regularly were HER friends.

So, one of my big goals moving forwards is to throw myself into hobbies and grow my social networks.

Also, there is the dating aspect when you already have kids.

As a single dad, I considered my potential dating pool to be single mums. They are most likely to understand that any relationship we have has to 'fit around' our kids, who of course come first.

There are also fewer expectations towards stepdads than towards stepmoms.

I'm... not so sure about this? I have been having a picnic with my kids at a park before and had kids/their mum glom onto me as I'm doing something like showing them how to shoot a basketball. I have frequently heard how much hids need men in their lives and I think that single mums are very aware of that.

Stepmoms are expected to play mommy and love the kids as her own but also never overstep. How many women are going to sign up for that?

Isn't that the stereotype? That men quickly get remarried precisely so that there's someone to mother their kids?

tiddermacss · 2024-04-08T13:57:29+00:00

nah its totally financial

Kentaro009 · 2024-04-07T21:58:27+00:00

A bad divorce can financially set you back 10-20 years on your financial goals.

For many people, particularly those struggling financially, this may mean the difference between retiring or working until you die.

It is simply not reasonable to expect a man to make that choice.

Sad-Climate-1074 · 2024-04-07T21:02:41+00:00

When I got divorced I had no idea how hard it would be on me. My nervous system was trapped in high alert. In fact it still is almost a year later. I became agoraphobic. I was prescribed benzos and I had to get inpatient treatment for depression. And I initiated it. 0/10 do not recommend.

Exciting-Parfait-776 · 2024-04-07T21:31:45+00:00

I’d disagree. Men are the ones required to pay child support and possibly alimony.

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Orangematcha · 2024-04-07T23:32:09+00:00

Your post will be answered in the future with experience and age. Your perception of men as creeps is stereotypical. It can happen but they’re outliers. Most average men are normal and will continue to be so after a divorce. It’s similar to a break up, just with paperwork.

With experience of dating, and marriage/ divorce, just comes a more experienced person person. Jaded people can come out of divorces and “divorce dad” is a stereotype but that is an outlier.

paputsza · 2024-04-08T03:22:15+00:00

yeah, but only if your wife worked.

Safinated · 2024-04-07T21:52:36+00:00

That’s not what men say. Why don’t you believe men?

obviousredflag · 2024-04-08T11:44:09+00:00

I have a feeling this is a big reason why many divorced men become deadbeats.

First you would need to provide some evidence that there even is an issue of recovering socially from it. You just speculated. All the data i have seen point to men remarrying quickly and with younger women, while women stay single.

qunamax · 2024-04-08T12:52:40+00:00

The reason why it sucks for men is because men create an environment, women just fit in, then they just decide one day and go to another environment. Men are then left with an empty environment, with replacement female citizen nowhere on the horizon.

Title	The reasons divorce sucks for men are social, not financial
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	0
Comments	112
Date	April 7, 2024 8:37 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1byep1x/the_reasons_divorce_sucks_for_men_are_social_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-reasons-divorce-sucks-for-men-are-social-not.1514362 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514362

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