Is being cubby/fat that much of a deal breaker?

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-08-15T16:57:13+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

Chickenbeans__ · 2024-08-15T01:25:24+00:00

Get fit for the sake of being healthy and feeling better. Do it for yourself. Most people you meet in life don’t want a fat lover. Excessive fat is unhealthy and unattractive.

None of that was said to be mean, and I’m sorry if it was harsh. I understand weight is a big hurdle for some people. Start slapping some weights and doing HIIT, and commit to a diet. In a year you’ll be a new man

CNC_Addict · 2024-08-15T01:12:44+00:00

Anything is possible, but why not make it probable? Hit the gym, big guy

reddituser1000111 · 2024-08-15T02:22:17+00:00

Are you F or M? For some people it’s a deal breaker… I lost 65 lbs. I got in the best shape of my life. It was hard bc I love food but it was a sacrifice and I didn’t want to be a fat ass with bad health. I hit the gym everyday. Yes it made a difference. I don’t want to go back

Alphagreen_97 · 2024-08-15T01:13:05+00:00

Get in shape. Either that or stop being insecure about being fat. Since both would require a good amount of work, might as well get fit. Stop crying about it and do what needs to be done.

neversleeps212 · 2024-08-15T02:24:09+00:00

Are you attracted to fat girls? Bigger girls will probably be more okay with you having some extra weight but if you expect your girl to be in shape don’t go around expecting her standards to be lower than yours. Not saying big dudes don’t ever date hot women but that’s the exception that proves the rule.

And in case for your physical and mental health I’d encourage you to get in shape. Taking charge of your body and exercising and watching what you eat while help your confidence, improve your sleep, boost your T, and improve your appearance.

KV1089 · 2024-08-15T03:38:05+00:00

Just get done it bro. Don’t wait for anyone and just do it for yourself. I promise you you’re gonna feel so much better that you took control and did it for you.

IntroductionHeavy985 · 2024-08-15T02:40:13+00:00

Eat less. Move more, its very simple

rickyspanish12345 · 2024-08-15T01:27:45+00:00

So my ex wife, a bitch but a smoking hot Latina, told me that every Latina girl fantasies about fucking a big guy with a beard. She was dead serious too.

HyperByte1990 · 2024-08-15T03:57:21+00:00

Yes it is. I've been back and forth between sexy and fat multiple times and being fit is by far more attractive to women.

djhood54 · 2024-08-15T04:30:26+00:00

I’ve had plenty of fat guys in my frat pull skinny “hot” girls all the time. And not just the easy sorority chicks at mixer events. And it always stumped me being a skinny guy how they did it? But what I saw they all had in common was that they all had mad game, and didn’t care about weight/appearance so confident too

ryrytheredguy · 2024-08-15T08:07:04+00:00

Being fat is the visual representation of not being able to control yourself and women can see it as a weakness wether consciously or unconsciously

BMagic98 · 2024-08-15T09:22:29+00:00

No and yes. If you're confident and you're fun to a woman it's not going to be an issue because the most important thing for women is that you're a secure and fun person to them.

The issue is that you being overweight is going to lower your confidence and create insecurities and women will notice that, which is what I think is the biggest problem here. You don't need to wait but you'll need to be very confident despite your weight and don't let it make you insecure, if you can do that you'll be able to get a girlfriend for sure. In any case you need to start working out and getting fit as soon as possible, this will increase your confidence and make everything easier for you in the long term

Westernleaning · 2024-08-15T05:44:36+00:00

Being chubby/fat isn't a deal breaker in and of itself but you better be exception in everything else, especially game. It just makes everything harder, and it does send a message about yourself to others, that you don't take care of yourself, so how well can you take care of someone else?

McPigg · 2024-08-15T06:08:49+00:00

If your a confident guy with game, no.

If your insecure like you, yes.

Advice is work on your confidence, build muscle as a fat guy with muscle underneath looks better, and try to meet women no matter how you weight.

LegitimateTutor8535 · 2024-08-15T06:33:32+00:00

Unless you're really overweight, I don't think it's a deal breaker. Just start going to the gym. You will meet new people. There are lots of ladies in there who don't want a guy who's jacked to the gills. So you're getting in shape and at a place where you'll meet a constant stream of new people. Hey, you might meet someone who wants to get in shape with you! The gym is a friendly environment. Jacked guys and girls are pretty nice to everyone.

srwat · 2024-08-15T06:50:55+00:00

If you ever played Baldur’s Gate 3 or DnD, look at being overweight or fat as essentially any dice roll you land with a girl has a few points ripped off the top. For some girls this is an instant elimination. For some others, you better roll higher than you would otherwise need to (errors when pulling off game will be penalized more heavily so you are allotted very few).

Tldr, be in good shape, then you can make more small errors (the girl will be more open to overlooking some) and not have them sink your entire attempt.

tajbinjohn · 2024-08-15T07:32:27+00:00

Women of all attraction levels can go for a fat guy. Work out because it helps you stay alive and stay erect

TheShahReborn · 2024-08-15T09:30:07+00:00

I think many replies here are not getting the point – even though their general insight is valuable and absolutely, OP, you should work out for your own health and well-being – this is not the point.

You asked if it is a dealbreaker to be overweight when pursuing a relationship / seducing another person because you feel insecure about yourself.

The dealbreaker is not your weight.

The dealbraker is you not being confident and feeling good with yourself. And that kills any natural game you have.

Think of it that way: you want another person (I guess a woman) to trust you that much and have that much confidence in you that she feels comfortable being intimate with you. Not just that: you want that her magnetically drawn to you, so intensely that she cannot resist and is heads over heels into you. You want her to CRAVE you like you’re a delicious snack and she’s been forced on a sugar-free diet for the last three months. You want to be able to spark this in her. And while a lot of it happens during the interactions the key foundation of all of that is that you like yourself and have a positive opinion about yourself.

When you’re insecure about yourself – and I don’t mean the part of us that reflects and criticises us so that we can grow and develop and become better humans – but when you’re fundamentally insecure about yourself, it is like you turn off the machine that fuels your inner magnet. This is not even something bad. Usually during a crisis when our personality transforms and our current ego dies, this happens on purpose, so that we can re-align ourselves to our deeper values and not to get confused or compromised because we have too many interactions with other people at the same time. So even this is a healthy and natural process. But of course, at a certain point of inner work, it’s good to start the motor again and participate the game.

Before I go down that rabbit hole, I will just focus on what is important for you: Do a life wheel exercise and figure out in which life domain you don’t feel comfortable with yourself right now, and decide which single life domain you want to focus on improving for the next three months. Then just write out how your life looks in three months in regards to this life domain and why it makes you happy and feel good about yourself. After that you just do the following two things: Journal every day (the goal is to write ONE sentence every day, that’s enough to mark it off) + and use the atomic habits approach to building up the habits necessary to improve your life domain (e.g. instead of starting with working out 30 minutes of the gym every day, I would set the goal to drive to the gym every day wait there five minutes and then return - again, that’s enough to mark it off of your list - and usually once you’re at the gym, you’ll actually go inside and walk out a bit. But by using the atomic habits approach, you make sure that you first build up confidence in yourself, by setting habit, goals that are easy to achieve and thus catalysing the identify you want to create). If you like, I can elaborate more on that, but you can also go ahead and check out Atomic Habits from James Clear. It is vital that you understand the idea of identity based habit formation because as soon as you understand that, you will know how to transform yourself very easily.

Dangerous_Dog6950 · 2024-08-15T13:52:20+00:00

I've done studies... Having a vehicle is more important to women than your weight...

Isthatreally-you · 2024-08-15T13:57:17+00:00

Stay healthy for the sake of staying healthy.

Impossible-Debate832 · 2024-08-15T15:20:38+00:00

Yes.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-08-15T02:17:56+00:00

Think $10k per month per extra 10lb to break even

Pedro_Moona · 2024-08-15T05:17:27+00:00

Easiest way to answer this is being chubby/fat a dealbreaker for you when your deciding who your interested in?

DeadWaken · 2024-08-15T05:57:19+00:00

As a fellow fat guy… not really tbh. Granted I do workout a lot so my physique is a little more muscular so maybe that plays into it but honestly I’ve never really had much trouble. Just put some effort into your appearance and be approachable.

No-Preference8767 · 2024-08-15T06:02:30+00:00

That's a tough one. You do have to play the game a lil bit in order to get your foot in the door but once you're in a relationship you can let the weight go. Being fat is a deal breaker but being a lil chubby usually isn't. If youre on the shorter side tho you need to get fit

jamesfalken · 2024-08-15T06:51:22+00:00

Lose the fucking weight. Period.

lemon_jump · 2024-08-15T09:12:50+00:00

I am in the process. I was ok with female. But got to get fit for myself...for my future for my family....and trust me...world is easier when you are fit.

KillahHills10304 · 2024-08-15T09:28:51+00:00

I see fat in a partner as a lack of care about their health and a lack of discipline over their eating habits that likely bleeds into everything else in their life

Imaginary-Score7574 · 2024-08-15T09:34:00+00:00

To me, yes. But remember people ALWAYS date others who are in their league, So even if a girl thinks like me but she's also chubby she doesn't see any way for herself except dating a guy like herself (that's the right thing to do actually)

Vegetable-Mall-2329 · 2024-08-15T10:34:15+00:00

Yes, the vast majority of people are not attracted to overweight people. By being overweight, you are isolating yourself from a whole bunch of potential options. Yes, there are exceptions, and some people prefer larger people, but they are more difficult to find.

epimpstyle · 2024-08-15T11:14:53+00:00

Find a nutritionist (dietitian) and they will tell you what to eat and all kinds of things to lose weight fast. Stick to their program for two months and you will see huge results. While you lose weight socialize with people because this is how you beat approach anxiety.

ThroatFinal5732 · 2024-08-15T11:26:49+00:00

In my experience, women care a lot less about looks than men.

I’ve seen guys with the looks of Henry Cavill get rejected, although the girl was initially interested, due to their dull personality.

I’ve seen guys that look like Shrek, have girlfriends I envy, due to either money or insanely good charisma.

That being said, if I’m honest, saying it’s possible to get a nice girl while being fat, and that being fat is something that could be compensated with some women, is very different from saying being fat is a trait most women would find attractive.

Wazzzock · 2024-08-15T12:04:38+00:00

from 2022-23 I slammed the gym, 3-4 times a week for the whole year probably one week off in total

started off with lots of puppy fat and changed to an actual masculine physique Its worked wonders for my self confidence and idgaf attitude

Going to the gym isn't just about the physique you get at the end of the journey it also shows you have other attributes like work ethic, commitment and a positive future vision of yourself, all attractive qualities

Pyroftw3 · 2024-08-15T12:15:40+00:00

for some women its a deal breaker, some girls prefer it. But generally being fit makes your dating pool wider and makes you more attractive to wider range of women

All_Day_ADHD · 2024-08-15T12:37:48+00:00

There are people out there that love chubby/fat people, it's the only people they're attracted to. One man's solid 3 is another man's perfect 10

Ampboy97 · 2024-08-15T16:03:36+00:00

For a lot yes. Also depends on what group of people you are trying to attract as some are more fatphobic than others.

ftdrain · 2024-08-15T16:09:18+00:00

Yes, I am somewhat antissocial and getting to look like a greek god made it so I went from banging nobody to as many as my libido can take when I was single. Take the black pill, looks are almost everything.

PutridPrice9831 · 2024-08-15T16:11:53+00:00

Yes. Get your ass in the gym and watch what you eat.

You can still pull while chubby if you have extreme game/charisma but given you’re asking this here, I’m going to assume you don’t.

Keep approaching women in the mean time while you get fit but game becomes significantly easier when the girl is attracted to you and meeting you halfway.

NomDePseudo · 2024-08-15T16:15:53+00:00

“I don’t wanna wait for someone who likes me just when I’m in shape…”

Are you comfortable dating someone as fat as you are, or substantially fatter (300lbs+)? Could you honestly say that you’d find them physically/sexually attractive? If the answer to either of these is “No,” quit whining, cut the portions, eat more protein, and hit the gym.

I don’t even need to ask to know that you’re under 40. The single worse quality of Millennials and Gen Z is this delusional belief that physical fitness and attractiveness shouldn’t be a factor when it comes to seduction, sex, and love. If you’re in this sub, please step out of that bubble and live in the world as it is, not the imaginary reality where you don’t have to make any effort for the things you want.

Spiritual_Word_7288 · 2024-08-15T16:15:54+00:00

So we are a group of players and dating coaches determined to help people just like you on improving their game, gaining confidence around women, becoming more assertive, and achieving success with women.
Few tips:

1- dont hate us for this- for some girls it is a deal breaker yes. there is absolutely no reason for you to be fat, every person who says he is fat because of health issues is lying to himself.
You can always run, you can always eat healthy, you can always lose weight.

And lets be honest my friend, you are not a women, for men its easy to look good. Train ofte, eat well, sleep well, dress well, thats it. aint no magic behind it.

Sorry if it sounds a bit harsh or aggressive, you came here for answer, i will tell you the harsh truth for your sake.
Do you best to be at your best version always, physically and mentally.

Feel free to follow our instagram page where we post daily about this stuff.

RealUltrarealist · 2024-08-15T04:01:46+00:00

That is a sad attitude. Grow a spine. Work out until you're tough

devonthed00d · 2024-08-15T05:44:32+00:00

Everyone saying go to the gym.. I mean yeah that’ll get it done.

Or just buy smaller plates 👍🏼👍🏼

Nigelthornfruit · 2024-08-15T05:46:44+00:00

Yep if obese with bmi over 33 . did you try ozempic or mounjaro if you are obese?

Overweight up to about 30 bmi is workable but any more and you need to focus on your health

nikolastefan · 2024-08-15T13:35:53+00:00

Lowkey. The success rate after loosing enough weight is insane

Django-Ouroboros · 2024-08-15T13:41:01+00:00

Are you a male of a female?

If female, you can easily find someone no matter your weight (unless extremely obese). Otherwise you will most likely need to cut some wzight unleds you compensate with many other assets

AnonAngel777 · 2024-08-15T15:30:31+00:00

Depends on the quality of women you want. You can pull a dime being fat or chubby but it is seriously unlikely no matter how good your personality is. Attraction is human nature and most people are not attracted to unhealthy people. Being fat signals you have bad offspring and genes to women. Just eat right and exercise, it’s really not hard.

Carefree2022 · 2024-08-15T15:34:25+00:00

It signals to the outside world that you have a lack of self control which is inherently unsexy to women.

Title	Is being cubby/fat that much of a deal breaker?
Author	Alpha_L30
Upvotes	27
Comments	91
Date	August 15, 2024 1:04 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1esi6v0/is_being_cubbyfat_that_much_of_a_deal_breaker/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-being-cubbyfat-that-much-of-a-deal-breaker.1527310 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527310

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