STBX says she filed for divorce because I did not agree to a separation and I should of “offered to leave the house because I am the man”

Ark161 · 2024-12-30T01:16:54+00:00

Pffft she is playing games and wants to go to the streets. She “isn’t happy” and thinks there is more excitement in the world. Don’t buy into her bullshit because it is nothing more than just that.

stupididiot78 · 2024-12-29T08:59:41+00:00

A real man watches out for himself and his kids, not the person blowing up their family. My ex was also pissy because I didn't leave the house. Oh well. At one point, she was went on about how the only fair thing to do was sell it and neither one of us gets it. I thought the only fair thing to do was not cheat on me with a guy she worked with. Looks like neither one of us got what we wanted.

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-12-29T05:14:56+00:00

Hah I didn’t leave the house either and she’s been going crazy about it. She’s staying at her parents’ house 10 min away from me and we share the kids almost 50/50. She filed a motion asking the court to have her take the house until the divorce is finalized, the judge told her NO.

What kind of a man doesn’t leave the house for a cheating wife?

A real man.

C20H25N3O-C21H30O2 · 2024-12-29T05:13:16+00:00

Contact a lawyer and prepare yourself for false allegations in your near future. Things gonna get ugly for a while. Your STBX wants her freedom and all the comforts you've been providing for him without you being in the picture other than your wallet.

Best if luck and stay strong, brother.

Smoovie32 · 2024-12-28T22:24:14+00:00

Are you me? I got the same deal about wanting space and wanting to see if she missed me. But magically could not commit to not seeing other people and working on our issues. Same story: messaging other dudes that she had sexual pasts with. Shocker I know. Stood my ground and reminded her of her promise to leave if anything remotely approached cheating without stating I knew she was. Three weeks later she backed off the idea that I should move out and asked to be bought out of the house.

mehmench · 2024-12-28T20:57:00+00:00

I told mine that she was free to leave. I said I couldn't make her leave the house (She was cheating on me), hell I couldn't even tell her she couldn't sleep in her own bed but I wasn't going anywhere. I worked too hard for us to build this home and I wasn't going to leave it.

She moved out of the bedroom for a few weeks and then moved out of the house once she found a place.

bind91324 · 2024-12-28T19:14:17+00:00

In the absence of abuse there is no basis for a court to order you to leave your home.

Legitimate-Corgi · 2024-12-28T17:44:48+00:00

Ha. Mine “wanted space” I more or less told her if she moved out she wasn’t coming back. She agreed to stay go to counseling etc. I bend over backwards for months find out she was messaging other dude the whole damn time.
IMHO if you’re determined enough to separate/move out instead of working on it together you may as well stay out.

Reflog1791 · 2024-12-28T17:44:13+00:00

5+ years out I just shake my head at these posts.

Yes while you’re in it, it seems like her thoughts and feelings matter. With a little time and space you’ll realize nothing she thinks or says matters at all.

Only thing that matters is your final decree. Put focus on that and not what standard stbx thinks.

No_Animator_6015 · 2024-12-28T16:56:57+00:00

Hahah. Wow, I got the same line.

stunt4949 · 2024-12-28T16:13:39+00:00

DO NOT leave the house!!

coldpornproject · 2024-12-28T15:50:44+00:00

I've been married 28 years. Asked the wife for a divorce- told her half of everything is fine. We show up to our first mediation meeting she wants half of everything..... plus a million dollars. Not sure where the addition came from but spurned women these days is absolutely freaking crazy.

crzapy · 2024-12-28T15:21:41+00:00

"Offered to leave the house because you're a man." SMH.

I'm so tired of the double standards of modern feminism. My ex did the same thing.

One minute, she's a strong, independent woman. The next, I'm getting shamed because a "real man" would do (insert task here). Meanwhile, I'm doing cooking, cleaning, house repairs, laundry, yard work, and going to my 40+ hr/wk job. Apparently, a modern man does everything while she watches a 90-day fiancee and scrolls on her phone.

There's no winning nowadays because no matter what you do, you're either toxic masculinity incarnate or not a real man.

Careless-Beginning73 · 2024-12-28T14:59:07+00:00

Start working on parenting agreement and financial separation. if you have join savings, investments and expenses. This will help level the conversation on who gets to stay in the house.

regertsrus · 2024-12-28T14:48:52+00:00

Same story except I found out mine is a pathological liar and cheat. She wanted to try and work things out but shit hit the hey and I left to roach motels promptly. It was a very difficult time and I almost didn't make it. Alot of luck and truth helped me. Finding love and trust again healed me. I think your stbx is a nut for saying "you're the man you leave" but I also believe a man needs to leave when he concludes it's over. I came to that conclusion and I departed voluntarily. A year later she filed for exclusive use and I didn't fight it. This year she moved in yet another new boyfriend into a house still deeded to me. He is a shit show and so is she. The kids hate him and are losing respect for her. I am living it up. Granted not in the nicest conditions for now but finding trust and love again really boosted my soul. You should consider leaving and starting a new. If you make it, you will be a legend in your own right. The kids will grow up to know it too. Took a few years for my young kids to grow up and realize what I sacrificed and the fact that she just sat on her ass changing nothing at all.

Unusual_University14 · 2024-12-28T14:37:28+00:00

My ex played the same card (though I ended up filing first). I said there is no way I leave without a signed and enforceable custody agreement which she refused. It was because she believed that my access to the children should be dictated by her.

At least she filed for divorce instead of the surprise OP.

Almost everywhere unless there is a surprise OP the order for "sole possession" also includes a visitation schedule.

CommercialConcern828 · 2024-12-28T14:13:15+00:00

A separation basically means, let me have another man rearrange my guts as I monkey branch to him.

If it doesn’t work out, I’ll come back to you.

She left you a long time ago, she is just trying to make it comfortable for her by emotionally manipulating you.

Don’t fall for it.

sicrm · 2024-12-28T13:53:53+00:00

she wants you to leave to bring her ~~boyfriend~~ friend over

CrazySanta7 · 2024-12-28T11:54:30+00:00

Stick to your guns. She wants separation to f%% other dudes while having you as a back up. Women don't need a separation to see if 'they miss you or to 'find themselves'. It's divorce practice.

probebeta · 2024-12-28T11:53:12+00:00

Offered to leave the house, which you most likely paid for, because you're the man? What kind of messed up world is that? I had mine play various tricks but she soon realized that I've been getting legal help. I think it's fine if you grey rock her and just discuss through lawyers. These conversations will not get better, unfortunately.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-12-28T11:51:59+00:00

This is a sign you’re doing things right. Watch out for fake DV charges and shit.

Suspicious_Dot6179 · 2024-12-28T11:40:50+00:00

Na she's playing silly games. Imagine YOU loved ur wife apparently but wanted to see if u would miss her so u then divorced her cos she didn't leave the house LOL sounds like she's an idiot and also not mentally stable. Give her the divorce, celebrate it, it will make her lose her shit since she expects u to beg and plead.

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2024-12-28T11:21:58+00:00

My wife did that shit too. I almost fell for it. She ended up leaving. Make her own her decisions.

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-12-28T10:11:12+00:00

⚠️DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE⚠️ unless a judge orders it or divorce is nearly 99% completed, here is why:

Once you're out, she becomes the primary caregiver& you the "we dad." or "walking purse"
Her 👹lawyer might tell her to drag this divorce out for years for Free housing and financial support
BUT If you stay, she'll want to speed up the divorce
Worst case: You pay for a house while she brings in the new BF (real example: Sarah Jane parkinson bring home his BF with his 3 kids)
Don't fall for her suggestion, claiming it's better for everyone/kids. She will only benefit it. Remember, kids often recall the parent who left
🚨 If she to forces you out, demand financial compensation or virtual rent since you're still paying for the property & need to pay another rent. This makes her think twice about exploiting the situation.

Remember: Your goal is to be an equal parent, not a 🏰Disneyland Daddy in your kid's life. Stand your ground

Only exception: If she's violent or has mental issues, and you're at risk of bogus domestic violence accusations & & TRO strike( i.e. a judge telling you to get out).. If so, Read t Silver Bullet Divorce Method/Protective order on left menu & related book proposed in Recommended resources

redraven1160 · 2024-12-28T09:43:46+00:00

She was trying to get you out of the house to use that as leverage. Check in your state. But if ok, start recording your interactions with her. You do not want her filing a false police report to try and get you out of the house that way. See a lawyer ASAP.

kidkangaroo · 2024-12-28T08:47:10+00:00

Good call to stay put. She's doing you a favor. Never forget that.

Title	STBX says she filed for divorce because I did not agree to a separation and I should of “offered to leave the house because I am the man”
Author	LionAR1999
Upvotes	60
Comments	38
Date	December 28, 2024 8:41 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ho1nmx/stbx_says_she_filed_for_divorce_because_i_did_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/stbx-says-she-filed-for-divorce-because-i-did-not.1539731 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539731

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