I'm out and about, expanding my sphere of influence, and the ladies I've been meeting... tattoos everywhere, filler, botox, injections, face lifts, augmentations, overweight, etc. What's happened to America? Where can you meet unmodified ladies these days?

RudeEmployment993 · 2025-07-05T10:52:07+00:00

I just turned 40, as well. Not as tall as you at 5'11" but still have a nice 6-pack from going to the gym all the time, still have a full head of hair, crystal clear skin, a good job, etc.

I don't really know what to make of the dating scene, either. I don't have any tattoos or piercings. I don't do drugs. So there go two things I don't have in common with many people. A huge problem is that women that were normally considered to be on the lower end of the totem pole 20 years ago have now been so propped up by their friends and society that they think they are on the same level as female celebrities.

Add this to the fact that pretty much every woman with a pulse has a dozen social media accounts and every last one of them is full of DM's from desperate men. This inflates their self-worth even though those men will sleep with anything in a skirt. And how am I supposed to stay engaged in conversation when people are always looking down at their phones?

Elizabeth_Wolak · 2025-07-04T06:56:55+00:00

not just that! they are all whores

Business_Guava3329 · 2025-07-03T16:28:43+00:00

I'm in NorCal and it isn't much better here.

Sure, they can't afford Botox or other expensive cosmetic surgery, but I agree on the tattoos and lard everywhere. Yet these "ladies" expect basically a man like you (but would probably still turn their nose up if they knew you had kids).

While California probably has the worst quality women, this is a global issue. The only exceptions might be some of the ladies from Mexico or South America (thin, feminine, more traditional/better values, healthy, usually only get mad for legit reasons). A lot of guys go gaga over the South/East Asian types, but IME, they're even worse than the entitled hypocritical white chicks. Indian/Desi ladies are solid hit or miss, but still better than white American chicks.

Difference is, I'm fine with a single mom of 2 maximum. Also, I require NO baby daddy drama. He basically has to not exist, or support from far away. No regular contact with the baby mama at all.

needbetterdays1 · 2025-07-02T16:34:51+00:00

I too am in SoCal and know exactly what you’re talking about. After a while, these girls kind of blend together in memory because they all seem the same. I will say though, they are out there.

druid_enacla · 2025-07-02T16:31:17+00:00

Yeah, the landscape has been heavily influenced thanks to the rise of social media. And living in Southern California I'm guessing you see the most of it, lol. 1st thing: haters gonna hate so let them do their job. Just ignore them. To get a nice laugh and also a little dose of reality (with some salt) search YouTube for 'Bo Burnham Lower Your Expectations.' I'm not saying you need to lower your standards, just manage your expectations. 😉

OK, main point time! I cannot recommend this book enough. It has helped me IMMENSELY since my wife left in 2017. It's called 'How To Be A 3% Man' by Corey Wayne. It's a book I feel every man should read when they turn 18. As I was reading it I thought to myself, 'Wow. If I had read this a year earlier, I might have been able to save my marriage.' Then, after I finished it the first time, I realized I should not have married her in the first place, lol. The book is about staying true to your masculine core and focusing on your mission in life (whatever it may be). Then it goes on about how to define the kind of woman you want, how to date her, how to effectively communicate with her, and how to have a healthy relationship with her. Most of what he teaches was so counter to my beliefs about woman. For instance: don't chase after woman. THEY want to be the chasers! And frankly, that sounds a hell of a lot more fun (and easier, lol). You can get the book for free at understandingrelationships.com or just search Google for the book title + "pdf". I really enjoyed listening to the actual author read it aloud and also have a physical copy (I've had several copies as I tend to end up giving it away to somebody who really needs it). Be sure to check out his thousands of videos on YouTube, too. PLEASE don't dismiss this. The information contained within is invaluable and still blows my mind each time I read it. Good luck!

Tabbouleh_pita777 · 2025-07-02T16:01:17+00:00

Single dad doesn’t want single moms…Story at 11…

Idontthinksotimmy · 2025-07-02T14:50:05+00:00

You sounds like a proper treasure… that should be buried somewhere deep, dark, and far away.

Grow up.

ExpiredPleaseUpdate · 2025-07-02T09:31:05+00:00

Based on what I saw during my multiple business trips, if I had to look for a lady in USA, I'd kill myself. To begin with, at least 3/4 are overweight, which is a stark and somewhat scary contrast.

Have you considered looking in other countries? If you are successful, you might have a good chance to convince her to move to you.

keencone · 2025-07-02T07:57:42+00:00

Dude, you answered your own question at the end - SoCal’s prime habitat for women with all those things you said you don’t want.
There’s actually a ton of amazing women there, but the majority are already shacked up or completely career focused, it’s not the same place it was growing up in the 80s and 90s.

scotbicknel · 2025-07-02T04:42:05+00:00

Church?

Mulambo_Lambo · 2025-07-02T02:53:37+00:00

The closest country I know where you can find young natural fit women without too much social media influence is probably Cuba. For obvious reasons they struggle to get food, internet and electricity daily. Be ready to find some seriously desperate ladies asking for basic items. There are plenty of middle aged college educated as well. However they all have ink all over their arms now, I find it repulsive but it is what it is.

Playbackfromwayback · 2025-07-02T02:21:59+00:00

This has to be satire.

icebluefrost · 2025-07-02T01:37:49+00:00

Bro. You’re a single dad. The ship has kinda sailed on whether you get to complain about single moms in your dating pool.

ciscokid12345 · 2025-07-02T01:03:50+00:00

Dating in your 40s is a lot like shopping at a thrift store. You’re not going to find anything that hasn’t been worn before so the trick is to find the best item without any visible stains, holes, or off putting smells.

The good stuff is already taken. The available stuff always has a reason why it’s on the rack.

My advice to you is simple. Don’t worry about women. Craft a life for yourself that is true to who you are as an individual. When you have succeeded in achieving that, a woman will probably appear that fits nicely in that life.

Right now you have a messy life that mostly revolves around your kids, your ex, your business, and the life you wanted with her. These are all deal breakers to the high value women.

Get some new friends, get some new hobbies, and take care of your kids. The years will fly by if you’re having a good time.

jaglio69 · 2025-07-02T00:55:22+00:00

Europe

lostcanuck007 · 2025-07-01T23:13:24+00:00

Try Midwestern america. Usually you find the women you are looking for there. But you won't be happy long.

Fluid_Actuator_7131 · 2025-07-01T22:53:54+00:00

I dunno where do bourgeois natural granola women congregate these days? Taos maybe?

Chasdava · 2025-07-01T22:48:41+00:00

My ex was like that minus the tattoos so I’m “desensitized”. I don’t mind a little work, but the women with which I’m becoming acquainted are WAY better.

BaldieGoose · 2025-07-01T22:10:09+00:00

Probably gonna have to get over the tattoo thing in this day and age. Some tasteful tats can be hot, though of course entire body coverage or face/neck are a deal breaker.

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2025-07-01T21:52:42+00:00

Also in SoCal. Pretty sure all the good ones are taken.

f-ranke · 2025-07-01T21:18:21+00:00

I was fucked up by my wife and lost all my money and now I don’t even wanna go dating although I’m in Europe. I think it takes time. What a good friend told me: “if you search too much you won’t find anything. If you don’t search you will find a good thing.”

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-07-01T21:14:52+00:00

I can give you the contact of my ex wife, fit natural beauty, no tattoos, educated, feminine. Still fucked me over big time. She's in Europe through, but I'll pay for the trip just to not see her again.

About meeting new women, Eu still has it good but good luck with tattoos. Don't think I know any modern women without at least a few. Last fling was tattooed like a sailor.

Heavy-Bench-5378 · 2025-07-01T21:14:39+00:00

Yeah this is definitely a problem for me too, I'm 36. California makes it worse, but this is relatively widespread nowadays

jimmycrackcode · 2025-07-01T21:06:16+00:00

Best of luck to you. 🫡

Are you looking for a serious LTR monogamous relationship? If not, you are being way too picky. If you are, keep your standards.

slow-motion-pearls · 2025-07-01T21:03:16+00:00

with the level of entitlement they have, the ones you’d consider a 6 or 7 think they’re a 10 by comparison. (to the overweight women which now seem to sadly outnumber them)

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