How can women possibly be suffering that badly?

Septic-Abortion-Ward · 2025-07-10T06:31:39+00:00

I think it is very easy as men to overlook or not understand the amount of damage young women routinely do to themselves.

You could talk about unnecessary consumer debt, dangerous surgeries, dangerous lifestyles, fad dieting, overeating, alternative medicine practices, polypharmacy, the rampant addictions, substance abuse, and alcoholism that is fashionable for young women, the addiction to attention, consumerism, social media, screen time; the sabotaging relationships that pass for friendship between young women. Etc

There is a massive tendency to create your own problems for young women. I see this mostly professionally. There is very little societal pressure to make good decisions and incredible pressure to make bad decisions. And when this comes up, there is an intense, profound allergy to any discussion of accountability. Of making better choices. Much less trying to understand why that bad choices was made, is continued to be made. And if other women are involved there is an immediate rally to defend the victim. But they did it to themselves, that isn't victimhood. They are the villain in their own story, because their choices inevitably impact everyone around them.

Whereas when I see self destructive young men they are very cognizant they are fucking up and either admit they need to change or acknowledge they have no desire to change.

curveoverfield1 · 2025-07-10T08:07:24+00:00

"Also, most of the men who commit attacks against women are not lonely, shy, virgin, "incels". They're much more likely to be popular "Chads"."

Say it louder for the people in the audience because the current stereotype on what a sex offender looks like is essentially the man in the dark alley trope. The majority of sex offenders knew their victims personally and were often also their partner. I am not trying to victim blame anyone by saying this but if it consistently men who manage to get into relationships or are otherwise trusted that end up most often being sex offenders maybe its worth taking a look at why those men end being trusted in the first place. I doubt its because they are secretly the lonely isolated men who struggle to maintain friendships and romantic relationships.

Rucs3 · 2025-07-10T05:25:54+00:00

I think we must recognize that a lot of women suffer a lot.

But what happens is women who suffer just a little apropriating the suffering of the most vulnerable women as part of their own suffering and wearing it like a badge.

But a vast amount of women still suffer a lot. We live in a planet with 8+ billion people, so even if we consider only the most vulnerable women, their quantity is still several countries worth of people.

Anyway I feel like it’s always useless to discuss the intensity of how much people suffer, whatever group it is. It tends to turn into suffering olympics, and frankly, who suffers more is a lot of times not relevant to contrusctive discussion.

wx_rebel · 2025-07-10T12:53:45+00:00

IMO, the problems in the western world are mostly societal issues that are hard for either gender to fully understand (with the exception of Trans people perhaps).

If you listen to women talk about their issues, many of them are actually issues combating what other women portray as the standard or what other women might think about them. The exception is of course SA, which is a very real fear for many women especially if it has previously happened to them or to a close loved.

The same is often true of young men too. The pressure to fit in, be manly, date often etc, are often rooted in societal expectations.

The end result is that the grass is always greener on the other side. Each gender ends up feeling they have ut harder when really it's just different. We could and should easily be allies but instead media/influencers often pits the goals against each other, or that one is more important than the other.

The Eastern world expectations are different so I can't speak to those as much.

*edit for typo

Stellakinetic · 2025-07-11T06:35:47+00:00

I’ve given up. It’s a sad affair all around. Women are being basically brainwashed by propaganda to hate men and honestly I feel like it just makes women end up feeling like “the world is against them” when it’s really not. A lot of it is just a sad mindset, and because of that, men suffer too. We get turned into the villain just for existing. It’s not healthy for any party involved, but it’s what is driven into women’s heads these days seemingly for some agenda that I’m not completely clear on the purpose, besides just generally trying to turn people against each other.

webernicke · 2025-07-10T16:59:04+00:00

I get that Trump and his ilk are a big problem for women right now, but it's not as if we're anywhere near close to the Handmaid's Tale becoming real.

The thing is that they really aren't a big problem for women, in particular. Hell, many Trumpers are women. Trump and his ilk are a big problem for immigrants, gender and sexual minorities and the poor. But for women, at worst, they want to roll back abortion rights, which in and of itself is an extension of the traditionalist desire to enforce the consequences of premarital sex on people regardless of gender. They aren't trying to do away with alimony and child support either, for example.

Nobody of any consequence is trying to repeal women's suffrage or ban women from the workplace or anything.

aslfingerspell · 2025-07-11T17:29:27+00:00

Also, most of the men who commit attacks against women are not lonely, shy, virgin, "incels". They're much more likely to be popular "Chads".

This is what gets to me. People talk of "incel ideology" related terrorism when some of those attacks don't even take place in the United States (Toronto van attack), and some of them are literally history (Elliot Roger was in 2014).

On the other hand, go into a courthouse on a random day to watch the arraignment/bond hearings and you'll see a parade of domestic violence between and against people already on relationships.

For every incel terrorist or mass shooter there are literally thousands or tens of thousands of men who are able to abuse their female partners precisely because they somehow have partners in the first place.

"Date rapists" wouldn't be a thing if rapists couldn't get dates. "Intimate partner violence" wouldn't exist unless violent people could get intimate partners.

Alternative_Poem445 · 2025-07-10T19:20:38+00:00

it still bothers me how many women equate feminism with egalitarianism. its like— no, fighting for womens rights is not the same thing as fighting for mens rights. there is no system or communal interest within feminism to solve any of mens problems, if they can even acknowledge they exist. the patriarchy argument as the big bad is an even more pathetic narrative. it seems the vast majority of feminists still operate under the belief that women are the primary victims of violence.

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dimod82115 · 2025-07-10T07:28:11+00:00

The woke people sometimes use that Umberto Eco quote too to refer to right wingers talking about the woke people. Of course without realising it applies to them.

Your points are mostly apply to the internet not the real world. Most normies have never heard about this sort of thing at all.

SentientReality · 2025-07-10T09:14:08+00:00

I keep making this analogy:

Feminists and Israelis have the same worldview and mindset: they are always the victims of everything no matter what, and they've learned how to weaponize and capitalize on their victimhood status so thoroughly that it's ingrained and unconscious behavior for them.

They both certainly do face a lot of fear and pain. And they do face real victimization. But their mindset keeps them locked into that position because it serves them and they wouldn't actually want it to be any other way, because losing victim status means losing a lot of privilege. And it allows them to dehumanize their "enemy" and avoid taking any hard look in the mirror.

At least feminists aren't actually slaughtering people, though, so that's one big difference. Feminism is virtuous, but feminists are not.

Intelligent-You983 · 2025-07-10T16:54:33+00:00

It isn't about who is suffering and who isn't. Everyone is. You get into that discourse and no one wins. It's the same tools used by those who piss you off. This is frankly a bad and lazy take on real issues.

Ok_Effective_6869 · 2025-07-10T09:23:29+00:00

SA is a very rare crime? Are you kidding? Most minors are assaulted by people they know. Uncles, brothers, cousins, boyfriends, etc, not some boogeyman in a van. That's why it feels rare. Because women have been conditioned to keep quiet especially if the SA is by someone close to them. It takes a lot to call out a stranger, how much more your own family or lover? This isn't to say men don't face a similar problem. But your phrasing was so weird. There's a lot of underreporting of SA among both genders, so, no. It is not a VERY RARE crime.

Women are trafficked to support the global sex work and porn industry. Even in the West, people go missing or are coerced into doing things they wouldn't want to otherwise. Or did you not listen to Andrew Tate bragging about how he does this?

This is how I think this sub misses the point sometimes. In trying to talk about male issues, we seriously downplay what women go through.

Yes, men are rped and assaulted, but not more than women. We can talk about raising awareness about our issues without bringing them down.

I'm not saying we have to white knight for them either but come on. Imagine your reproductive rights were being threatened for instance. We will never know what that's like. We will never know what it feels like to have sex, have used protection, and still have to take multiple precautions after to ensure a pregnancy doesn't happen, because abortion is criminalized in some states.

JD Vance literally said our country is being run by childless cat ladies. The vice president was basically shaming women who chose to or who could not have children. The VICE PRESIDENT!

Their issues are peculiar to them. Same for us. Let's focus on how we can be better without antagonizing them every single post. Thank you.

Maschalismos · 2025-07-22T20:21:58+00:00

Mens Greatest weakness is their facade of strength.

Womens greatest strength is their facade of weakness.

ferrocarrilusa · 2025-07-10T20:50:52+00:00

I think there still is too much pressure on women to be attractive, and using their appearance as a pretense to do favors. Not that men don't have any, and I think it needs to be universally condemned. Also I wouldn't be surprised if there's a fair amount of covert ways women in the business world are looked down upon. While there may not be an epidemic of literal violence against women in the streets, what about harassment, especially near construction sites? Even in the workplace, there remain barriers to whistleblowing sex harassment.

Now about the misandrists you find on reddit. Many of them are likely trolls or bots. If you ask more women in real life the bear question or if they believe men crossing the street to avoid women should be required under penalty of law, chances are they will say both of those are absurd. Even women who have lived experiences of being followed or threatened. If women were really as terrified, androphobic, and sex-averse as r/TwoXChromosomes suggests, nunneries would be overcrowded.

Frankly, as an American I actually wonder if most British women in real life reacted to the grisly murder of Sarah Everard (though I'd at least hope they'd be outraged at the evil cop) in the way that social media algorithms pushed. I wonder what happened behind the scenes at TFL/National Rail when they decided to implement their "zero tolerance" program that went so far as to crack down on eye contact. Probably they were pandering to the vocal keyboard warriors.

Pristine_Trash306 · 2025-07-14T22:16:33+00:00

This is (according to many historians) the best time in human history to be born as a woman.

I believe that both genders have their struggles despite that. It annoys me when incels and femcels claim that the opposite gender is privileged and don’t struggle in life. Each gender deals with different issues.

To compare and contrast these specific issues is inefficient. Instead, people should individualize each person and not see them through the lens of their gender even though I know that’s not entirely possible due to normalized gender roles.

TLDR; When someone says “women struggle more” or “men struggle more”, take it with a grain of salt. People like to push narratives. The truth is that every person struggles in their own way no matter their background.

mothftman · 2025-08-01T04:10:28+00:00

This is the most misogynistic thing I've read in a while and the comments in response are worse.

It's so fucking backwards to dismiss most sexual abuse as rare, only to demand people care about your even rarer sexual problems.

Is does this extend to class too? If people feel more sympathy to a homeless child than the Elon Musk is that homeless child an oppression.

Women are not more emotional or less deserving of sympathy and this comment is the perfect example, because you all are more comfortable doubting victimhood inorder to put yourselves at the top of the victim pile.

Tiny-Warning-4188 · 2026-01-12T15:31:03+00:00

Honestly you REEK of misogyny! This is why we can’t trust left wing men either! SA is absolutely an extremely common crime whether you like it or not, EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I know has experienced SA at least once, most more than once and SH is so common no woman could count how many times it happens! Myself and most women I know first experienced sexual attention from adult men at age 12, and I’m pretty sure there’s studies to back it up. It’s probably hard for you as you clearly don’t have much empathy for women to understand how scary and vulnerable you feel experiencing those things at 12!!! And if you truely understood just how traumatic rape is you would not be trying to minimise it. I learnt in my degree that rape victims have higher rates of PTSD than war veterans and honestly I think it’s disgusting that it took me that long into my education to be taught that, it should be taught in school, but of course the system would never consider that.

You’re clearly from the US so I don’t know the exact statistics for there but I’m from the UK and 20% of all reported crimes are violence against women and girls, and that’s only what’s reported! There was also a study done in universities in the UK which anonymously surveyed men and asked them to tick yes to certain sexual behaviours and if they had displayed those behaviours in the last 12 months, roughly 1 in 6 admitted to behaviours that fall under the category of sexual assault, coercion and rape. Yes, I know, I know, you don’t want to hear it! Your whole post just seems to be written from a place of ego and unwillingness to accept just how much damage your gender causes. The fact that you are so clearly uneducated on this topic yet feel such a need to make these blanket claims that the experiences of women are ‘not that bad’ when there are mountains of evidence to show how much misogyny permeates into every aspect of life. And the fact that you bring up the handmaidens tail and claim ‘well at least it’s not like that’, it’s like REALLY, that’s your threshold of what should happen before women’s complaints are valid??? I would suggest decentering yourself and your ego and have some sympathy. If women actually had ‘systemic power’ to generate sympathy don’t you think we would’ve solved the issue by now?? But no, instead the numbers have been increasingly getting worse since 2020!

tesseracts · 2025-07-11T19:16:16+00:00

I have a bad habit of spending a lot of time on social media. I look at spaced from all parts of the political spectrum. In right leaning spaces women are definitely not getting sympathy and are frequently targets of hate. Look at those spaces yourself if you don’t believe me.

Pepperspray24 · 2025-07-10T22:32:42+00:00

I feel like you’re looking to vent and not ask real questions. If you really wanted an answer you’d ask women and not what a bunch of men think it is. A lot of the rhetoric in the comment section of this is very sexist against women and not actually going to give you a proper answer.

I’m not saying this to be disrespectful, I’m trying to be matter of fact about it. I’m a therapist and have a background in social work. I advocate for men and women’s issues. I’m willing to answer this question if you’d like.

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