What piss you or please you the most about dating and male-female dynamics?

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-10-29T12:55:23+00:00

I don't like that women are not taught to pursue/how to pursue. It is so hard as a female to get a girlfriend, because we get stuck in a loop of waiting for the other to pursue XD

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-10-29T13:18:58+00:00

I guess I don't like that many people date multiple people at once in the early stages.

Even the fact that they do this to "not put all their eggs in one basket" seems to indicate that this approach prevents them from focusing on someone specific and falling in love. And they know that

It also follows that many women believe that men "have to compete" for them as options.

This is a highly transactional way to think, and thankfully, I've been lucky enough to avoid it so far.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2025-10-29T13:43:24+00:00

What I don't like at all is classic masc/fem dynamics among straights and those things being erotisized. I'm scandinavian and these are some incredibly collectivist cultures, not primarily egalitarian or emancipated per se. That's a common mistake. It's collectivism and it also has got some incredible negatives too it, but nvm.

Anyway, this breed of collectivism has effaced or minimized many difference in gender presentation. Sure, it matters sometimes but it's generally kicked down a few levels of priority.

But when I get abroad, I see a lot more men puffing their chests, and women doing their own thing. I even don't like being flirted with, in a way that's tailored for that kind of masculine ego.

Lol, so even when I manages to win at it somehow, I hate it. Turns me stone cold.

What I do like is very easy and direct attraction were nobody's putting on a show, or needs attention for how good a show they're putting on. When it's gentle and almost sibling-like in nature.

I'm very colored by my culture, I suppose.

Ithinktoodeep55 · 2025-10-29T13:18:28+00:00

What I love: Women are less judged today about sexual freedom, choosing NOT to settle down early and rear a family if they don't want to. I've met some incredible women in their 30's who are attractive, intelligent, successful and down right fun as hell. the confidence combined with feminine energy and playful nature is downright intoxicating. This is my type to a tee and I feel like women don't really reach this until their late twenties or thirties. Keep in mind I'm also in my thirties as well.

What I Despise: Rampant free misandry and downtalking about men/saying "there are no good men" while simultaneously rejecting tons of good men for shallow charisteritics like looks, image, swag, etc. I understand alot of it just emotionaly venting and bonding with other women - but it comes across as just....kinda of a dick move to all the guys who are actually good but are not "hawt" enough. On that topic - the over-prioritization of short term relationship qualities over long term relationship qualities like stability/common interests/common values in the dating game. Dating is now about how well you market yourself vs how good your character is. You know the saddest thing I've heard is? When women (yes, I've only heard women say this) say: "my husband is NEVER the kind of guy I'd swipe right on in a dating app, it;s only after I got to know him that I Fell in love and became attracted to them".

PassengerCultural421 · 2025-10-29T12:58:02+00:00

I hate.

Men still being expected to adhere to their traditional gender roles. While women aren't.

cb8585b · 2025-10-29T15:01:31+00:00

I both love and hate that people are becoming more and more free from expectations in life so they don’t have to do and stick with what doesn’t serve them; I feel like in relationships this should mean you should only be in one with someone you really want to be with. But the negative side to that is people have become so individualistic to the point that boundaries and non-confrontation have become almost a cop out to working through even small things. This also applies to friendships. I observe this impacting community building.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-10-29T13:17:16+00:00

OLD. “Let’s throw a profit motive for a third party and then complain that the quality of the service isn’t great”

AdHistorical3313 · 2025-10-29T14:35:24+00:00

Dating in this generation is this bullshit 'non-chalant olympics' and a competition about who cares the least about the other/who can show the least interest. It makes everything not only duller but it masks true intent and makes everything human cryptography. It's also the 'job interview' vibe of dating these days. People need to drop their guards and actually be real. Dating apps really need to be dropped at large because their effects are making both men and women miserable.

The only thing I personally 'love' about dating dynamics is when you're lucky enough to find two people not going by these^ conventions.

WebNew9978 · 2025-10-29T16:19:47+00:00

I hate how I don’t even get a chance to have a romantic and sex life due to my genetics (things beyond my control). I hate how every single guy around me gets to have a chance to have a romantic and sex life because a woman is attracted to them. I hate how the self improvement advice is valueless and useless slop. I especially hate how people (especially women) except me to be ok with never having a chance or how I’m supposed to not be angry about it when everyone else around got theirs. I hate how people undersell the importance of sex to men like me while they couldn’t even imagine going through life without ever experiencing it.

What I love about it? No clue, I’ve never even been on a first date.

Demasii · 2025-10-29T13:49:05+00:00

Love: Surprise flowers!

Hate: Some men have a tendency of checking out of relationships that they no longer want to be in hoping that the women will break up with them. It preserves their image of being "good".

SpecialWasabi · 2025-10-29T12:52:56+00:00

I love how nurturing and kind women can be

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-10-29T16:36:14+00:00

As far as trends in dating that are going on now:

Pleasing: Women breaking free from gender roles has made women more interesting in my opinion. Women are as hilarious as at any point in history, they're confident, they're assertive, and they're not afraid to partake in "male" interests anymore. Gone are the days of women being encouraged to be boring "demure" people-pleasers with no personality, who cling to the same 3 boring interests or pretend to be ditzy, in what Boomers tell them will "attract men."
Piss off: I strongly dislike the idea that men must "compete" for a woman's attention and think this is a toxic mindset for forming connection. It's one thing to meet two people and naturally like one better than the other; it's entirely another to play one person off the other to see how treats you better. Also "who treats you better" should never be measured in money or gifts, yet there are still entirely too many people who look at dating that way. Simping has not been strongly discouraged enough, and part of that is men who are simps and women who will accept gifts from simps even if they don't want anything from him, as well as women who realize some dudes suck but accept gifts and simping as an "I'm sorry" to prolong a relationship that should have ended at the realization he sucks. I also hate that loser trailer park/ghetto stereotypes seem to be culturally accepted in the popular discourse, which colors any kind of discussion around dating/relationships/sex by forcing people to talk about the mating habits of the biggest most-undateable losers from the hood/trailer park, none of which are relevant to the broader culture, but which makes discussing middle class and UMC dynamics nigh impossible because there's always some ragebait "example" from the hood/trailer park that just "needs" to be brought up at every twist and turn.

SexCrispies · 2025-10-29T12:23:13+00:00

I love about current dating and male-female dynamics:

(1) that i can do whatever the fuck i can dream of and live any life i enjoy and have any relationship type that suits me. For me, that is not being married, no kids, age gap open relationship, having casual/group sex with women half my age, having just sexual relationships, sex+friendship, sex+romance, friendship+romance, or everything together, side by side. One girlfriend or multiple. Everything is possible, ultimate freedom.

(2) any gender role goes within it's niche. Again, this is about the ultimate freedom to be whatever i want to be, to have a lifestyle and a gender expression that suits me. There are women who are exactly into what i am and the modern mating market makes it easier than ever before for us to find each other.

What i despise about dating and male-female dynamics nowadays:

(3) People are too afraid to get hurt and too passive. Rather looking for the next chance to be blown away without having to risk anything themselves, than to open themselves up to be rejected or disappointed or hurt. It's affected by the same issues as the rest of the attention economy. People are passivley consuming what is presented to them, without cognitively deciding on what they want and with an expectation to keep scrolling and keep getting dopamine hits fed to them without havign to lift a finger.

(4) Regarding male-female dynamics: identity politics took a toll on that. Stereotypes dominate the labels and the gender war has increased the division between the sexes. People view the other sex based on content that enrages them, that they are fed on their social media stream.

growframe · 2025-10-29T12:49:08+00:00

I don't like that people are extremely willing to complain about problems of their own creation.

I like that dating is a meritocratic market.

PoeticMoose619 · 2025-10-29T14:04:34+00:00

What I like about dating nowadays: people are, to some extent, free to choose to pursue whatever types of relationships they want. Short-term non-monogamy, short-term monogamy, long-term non-monogamy, or long-term monogamy are all available to pursue.

I also like that both men and women, generally speaking, are able to choose to date those who they generally like and are attracted to. This is especially true for women, who may have had to sacrifice compatibility for stability, which is a choice bad for them (and men, when you think about it).

What I don't like is that most people tend to downplay the role of sexual desirability and compatibility in relationships. Most people talk about education, finances, living situations, religion, among other things, but nothing about "does this person turn me on?" and even how to do so. Men are a bit more open in this regard, I believe, but women don't often say what gets their "juices flowing," as it were.

Another point of contention is social media is rife with grifters and ragebaiters who make bad, misogyny and misandry-laden takes. There are plenty of red pill "gurus" who mislead men into misery-filled rabbit holes and level up ladies bringing sex work advice into regular romantic relationships (and they all have courses and coaching to sell). They poison the discourse around normal, healthy romantic/sexual relationships.

No_Personality5381 · 2025-10-29T14:42:54+00:00

I love masculinity and femininity, which collide like two worlds, and I don't like that people are never satisfied with their love life

StopTheIncels · 2025-10-29T15:34:50+00:00

Women can't take rejection, even in the slightest and don't directly approach (even in social-circle warm approach).

Dating and sex are fun and exciting especially with chemistry.

Jetpine9 · 2025-10-29T16:49:46+00:00

Love: It's fun if you can find someone who is even remotely compatible with you.

Hate: How difficult that is to find.

Bouldershoulders12 · 2025-10-29T17:49:04+00:00

I like that men are waking up to the nature of women and we can “compare notes”. Whether it be good or bad traits we see. However, with gaining this knowledge, there comes a level of responsibility now and not rage or hate.

You can either understand women or love them. But you shouldn’t hate women for what they are naturally. I think some guys get too caught in that red pill rage rather than adjusting or deciding what they want to do

Character-Limit-774 · 2025-10-29T20:12:35+00:00

I like that I am able to live my life the way I want more or less. Yes, dating has become much harder for men with women's standards getting higher each year, but I I'm happy with my position.

SecondEldenLord · 2025-10-29T12:11:32+00:00

I hate everything in dating: how shallow women are, how they use men for their money and how they always complain they cannot find a good man when they friendzone or reject or ghost actual good men just cause of looks. I also hate they think single men are single cause they are evil and how they always associate qualities to hot tall men that they don't even have./ The amount of women I had seen calling the dumbest hot men smart is baffling.

What I love? Nothin, dating is a mess for most men, only the top 20% of men can enjoy dating and most women can enjoy dating too if they do not expect any commitment from the top 20% of men

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-10-29T15:06:09+00:00

The rape and assault part

Don’t like that very much

I’m also not fond of the “putting up with shit behavior” phenomenon that appears to be common

TheRedPillRipper · 2025-10-29T12:30:03+00:00

please you the most

The factor I enjoy most about dating currently is the Competition. It gives women choice, and forces men to get better. That’s a win-win.

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Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-10-29T16:32:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Lemon_gecko · 2025-10-29T12:21:53+00:00

I don't like male arrogance and entitlement. Their fragile ego. How they waste my time. How they always blame anyone for stuff that they do. I don't like that i'm hated just because i'm a woman. I'm hated even more if i'm sexually active woman.

anonymousppd123123 · 2025-10-29T12:29:03+00:00

I am forced into pleasantries pretending that women are my equals and their illogical random number generator hamster wheel minds put together coherent thoughts worth taking seriously

I am permanently in the room with overgrown teenagers who will throw a tantrum if I dont pretend theyre very smart adults and all their ideas are the best thing ever

Managing their overinflated on no basis egos and minimizing the damage caused by their hubris is a constant balancing act and nonstop mental and emotional labor solving for a nonlinear black box problem

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2025-10-29T16:37:39+00:00

Hate: misogyny, the expectation I will fulfill a man's sexual desires when most men are selfish/sexually incompetent, cheating

Love: when men cook

Title	What piss you or please you the most about dating and male-female dynamics?
Author	Artistic_Speech_1965
Upvotes	8
Comments	96
Date	October 29, 2025 10:46 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1oj17ba/what_piss_you_or_please_you_the_most_about_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-piss-you-or-please-you-the-most-about-dating.1565350 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565350

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