1. My Statement

If you are a man, then either be the alpha in the relationship—or choose no relationship at all over being a “betabux.” Being in the dominant position gives you leverage and control. Without that, you often end up constantly proving your worth just to maintain your place.

  1. Real-Life Example / Implementation

A recent example from my personal life:

My cousin (around 5'10", average-looking) showed up with a woman who was a few levels below him in looks. What stood out wasn’t just that—it was the dynamic.

She was clearly chasing, and he was just responding. The power balance was obvious.

He doesn’t want anything serious with her—she’s more of a placeholder. But it’s also obvious (and confirmed by him) that she wants something long-term.

When I asked why he’s in the relationship, his reasons were simple:

  1. The sex is good

  2. She’s very submissive

  3. He has full control over the dynamic

That “control” shows up as

Getting what he wants with minimal effort

Behavior shifting instantly (even with something like silent treatment)

No arguments over chores or roles

No ideological conflicts

Constant validation—she treats him like a prize

  1. Conclusion

For most men, this position is powerful.

Dating equal or above often means losing leverage. In “equal” relationships, it can feel like the woman is settling, and the man has to constantly prove himself to stay relevant.

A woman who is a 6 can often get a 7. So if she’s with a 6, she likely still has options—and that gives her leverage. That imbalance can lead to easier exits for her, loss of attraction over time, the man becoming replaceable.

Take a scenario where the man loses his job for months—even if he contributes at home, once she’s the sole earner, the dynamic shifts. That can lead to fights, blame, loss of attraction, and eventually an exit framed in a way where she’s not the “bad person.”

Marrying up is even risky it’s like walking on thin ice.

  1. Final Thought

Egalitarian relationships aren’t impossible but they only really work when both people can walk away easily and don’t struggle to find options.

For most men, that’s not reality.

Women generally have more options, which gives them more inherent power. So unless a man can leave just as easily, true balance is hard to achieve.

Otherwise, it’s not equal.