Are you guys ready to date again after 5+years of divorce?

reapersritehand · 2026-04-17T07:03:56+00:00

Yes and no

Bogusky · 2026-04-16T23:48:00+00:00

5+ years?! Wow.

I'm 7+ months separated, still in the process of finalizing the divorce and I'm not wasting time. I asked for the divorce and I'm openly mingling.

Started with a 3-month FWB who was fantastic in bed but had the emotional availability of a rock, and was my lesson that I need more than just a fuck. It also ended really bad as she seemingly went crazy overnight. Weird experience, but probably a valuable one.

Now going on app dates semi-regularly. I don't view it as a waste tbh. I view it as a way of staying sharp.

Sorry_Set_5127 · 2026-04-16T23:12:33+00:00

Just hire escorts it’s cheaper and better than dating. All woman are nuts brother

SireSweet · 2026-04-16T21:16:31+00:00

Never dating for marriage. Always dating for a fuck.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-04-16T17:51:49+00:00

I was ready to date 4 years after my divorce. Married for 22 years. I stopped missing my ex 3 years after the divorce.

The dating pool is fine. I do not do apps so can't comment on those. I prefer to approach the old fashioned way so I know there is mutual physical attraction before the first date. If there isn't fireworks in person I'm not wasting my valuable time.

Found my next life partner and we are moving in together next month after a year of dating. Life is good.

amblix · 2026-04-16T17:00:04+00:00

After 13 years I was ready to date writhin a year

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-04-16T16:42:40+00:00

I was ready the same week.

No-Spinach-169 · 2026-04-16T16:39:36+00:00

Never dated after divorce, but banged a lot of whores. That’s also a great way of moving on, if you’re not morally opposed to the idea.

Kind-Number-419 · 2026-04-16T16:25:52+00:00

Divorced for 2 years. Ripped the bandaid off last week and went on a date for first time with somone I met on Hinge. I got rejected. It sucked. Not a confidence booster. I was hoping getting the first date under my belt would get give me momentum to keep trying. It actually made me want to retreat more into my isolation. My self esteem and self confidence was wrecked on my divorce.

mdh5326 · 2026-04-16T16:03:05+00:00

It usually took me around the one and a half to two year mark before I would start dating again, based on previous break ups and a previous divorce. I consider myself lucky.

Somewhere in Reddit land is a guy who is still missing his ex more than 20 years later after they broke up. I think they dated for like a month or two.

longblademotor · 2026-04-16T14:45:18+00:00

I started 2 weeks after my wife left me. I’ve fucked 6 girls in as many weeks. 3 in one week last week. There’s hope out there, I’m 5’6” and ugly and live in a non urban area.

Ok_Builder_3285 · 2026-04-16T14:42:52+00:00

I've been divorced for 5+ years after being with my ex for 20 years.

I have been trying to date the entire time, but I have yet to find any takers. No women have any interest in me. It's miserable, depressing, and isolating. I haven't touched a woman in 6.5 years and I know I never will again.

I think dating, or even the occasional hook-up, would have helped me immensely, but it's just not possible.

jalopkoala · 2026-04-16T13:50:08+00:00

You’re gonna get wildly different responses here. Because some of us are ugly. Some of us are bad at sex. Some of us are shy. Some of us are misogynists. Some of us are poor. Some of us live in urban areas where we set our radius to 1 mile and have more options that we could imagine. Some of us live in suburbs where you are driving 20 miles for a date. Some of us are old. Some of us are healed. And some of us are still broken.

Get out there with honest intentions, done be afraid to be open and caring, don’t be afraid to fuck up. Find the women out there that are givers and that make you want to give. And have fun!

I’m in Manhattan and there are tons of fun, giving, kinky, people out there. Parents and non-parents that are willing to date a divorced 40+ dad with a really particular schedule and is pretty insistent on marriage and more kids not being a thing. I would date more people than I currently date if I could, but I don’t have time for it.

Dating has been really really fun for me personally. And it may be fun for you. You got this!

Tvelt17 · 2026-04-16T13:43:56+00:00

Yeah I started dating like 6 months after separation. It helped the healing process more than anything. Started slowly at first, but met the girl of my dreams after awhile. We're engaged now.

One-Specialist-4983 · 2026-04-16T13:35:19+00:00

Damn, 5 years and still not dating? Tell me you were at least getting occasionally getting laid.

That is a crazy long time

Melynthos1492 · 2026-04-16T12:51:27+00:00

Dating will help you forget, otherwise you will just be wallowing in the sorrow and won’t escape the pain

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2026-04-16T12:11:35+00:00

You should be ready after 2 years. Any longer than that and you need some friends to tell you to get your act together. Or you need therapy.

Don’t you want to be intimate with someone?

gaelorian · 2026-04-16T11:58:44+00:00

She wanted the divorce first. It started to make sense. So, I started dating during separation.

This sounds like you aren’t over your ex more than anything.

Time helps but self reflection and loving yourself matters more.

Slowloris81 · 2026-04-16T11:58:37+00:00

I dated after a couple years after I felt healed and ready. I did not miss my ex and thank the day we separated. It was about allowing myself to be healed first.

PghSubie · 2026-04-16T11:51:46+00:00

If it's been 5 years and you're still missing your ex, then you definitely need to be dating again

Bagman220 · 2026-04-16T11:48:27+00:00

I jumped in right away, why waste time? Wasn’t looking for something serious, but just been having a lot of fun.

IcyMycologist4837 · 2026-04-16T11:46:42+00:00

I explored meeting and dates 6 months out. But had no intention or interest in a serious long term relationship. That was a good process for me. I moved on from my ex anyway the minute we filed for divorce but the dates helped realize what I want or don’t want in a relationship. Like others here I never want marriage again, and right now not even a live in girlfriend. A monogamous relationship is good.

serkovavantgarden · 2026-04-16T11:04:36+00:00

I was dating within 6 months

Put yourself out there and lean into discomfort

That’s how you ‘work on yourself’

Moping about, reading self help and seeking advice is just stalling the process

bvnelson · 2026-04-16T10:40:55+00:00

First year post divorce I made some attempts at dating but I was still not used to being single, I was still with very low self-esteem after the divorce and it didn't go well.

Second year I had spent a lot more time working on myself, building up my confidence and self-esteem, getting hobbies and making friends. This gave me a lot more success in dating but as soon as relationships got serious and I felt pressure, I'd feel trapped and end things.

In the last couple of years I started looking more for situationships / FWBs with independent minded people who weren't looking to move in with me etc. This has been much more comfortable for me and satisfied urges for sex and company but given me the space to be myself and not lose my individuality. I will probably eventually try a monogamous relationship again but not sure yet if I ever want to live with someone else again - I've learned to appreciate my space.

Re: dating pool, at 40 I've had a LOT more options and success than I did at 20. You need some hobbies and basic social skills, and to be comfortable in your own skin - I had none of these things when i got divorced, but have learned all of these skills by working on myself.

So to answer your question, yes, time does make a difference as long as you put in the work and look forwards. You can think about what mistakes you made in your marriage from the perspective of self improvement, but don't waste a minute trying to get it back or long for the past, that chapter is over and happiness is in front of you, not behind you.

soontobesolo · 2026-04-16T10:39:22+00:00

I never missed her. That's why I broke it off.

I took about six months to get my head straight and settle down. Then I went a little hog wild on the apps for a year, so much fun and so many wonderful ladies.

Now I've got a steady gal, together two years.

It gets better. Get your head straight and get out there.

Snowbirdy · 2026-04-16T10:31:12+00:00

I absolutely do not miss my ex wife. I just unloaded on her because after 20 years of $upport, she tried to squeeze more money out of me with guilt about the kids. I told her the well has run dry. Next June is the LAST child support payment and college is already set aside. I also pointed out that if we went by the state formula I could go get an order to reduce her payments by 65%.

Dating pool has expanded. I used to date my age and older up into my mid 40s. Now at 52 I am dating (usually) ~32 to 45. Last GF was 42. Once in a while a 20-something slips the net but they’re not really my speed.

Not racing to get into a new relationship having just ended one in February. There were issues but also a lot of good things about it and some of my friends thought I was dating out of my league. Well, interestingly the guys thought I was out of my league and the girls thought my ex, and not I, was dating up. My ex thought we were equal (her assessment that she volunteered unprompted).

Owww_My_Ovaries · 2026-04-16T10:12:23+00:00

5+ years? I know everyone is different but that does seem like a long window. Obviously kids or your career may be the priority, which is great.

My advice is to take it slow and worry more about communication. My biggest mistake with my ex is we had awful communication, which was hard for me since she was a habitual cheater and its hard to be open with someone who did that.

Title	Are you guys ready to date again after 5+years of divorce?
Author	Left-Ad-7646
Upvotes	27
Comments	64
Date	April 16, 2026 10:05 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1smz5vk/are_you_guys_ready_to_date_again_after_5years_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/are-you-guys-ready-to-date-again-after-5years-of.1578086 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578086

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