I just asked this question towards women the other day. It seems many of them kind of struggled with the question, so I wonder if posing this question towards men will bear more fruit.

Here's my non-exhaustive list of red flags women tend to miss, based on common complaints I hear from women:

  1. Brings up touchy/hot-button topics too early in the courtship (you should not be talking about religion, politics, personal finances, or family drama on the first couple of dates)

  2. He mumbles/he's inarticulate/you can barely hear him when he speaks (might be a nice enough guy but this will start to grate on your nerves when you actually want to have a conversation with him)

  3. Too possessive too soon (You wanna know why so many of you wind up dating narcissists? Here's one reason. This guy out the gate starts trying to run the show and women fall for it because he seems to be assertive and knows what he wants; he's "a real man". In reality, until he gets to know you, most men are not going to assume to know what you like/dislike, want/don't want, or your preferences so he will naturally defer to you until he gets to know you. Women sometimes view this as unmanly but it's quite the opposite.)

  4. Pick me guys (oh yes men can be pick-mes too. This guy craves the validation of women and needs to be liked. If he's too "pro-woman", a "male feminist" and puts men down like the average woman is this beautiful, ethereal creature and men need to "step their game up", but he's not him, he's "one of the good guys", just make they spelled your name right on the back of that jersey he's gonna get you, because you my dear are going to be on his roster.)

  5. Hippy-dippy liberal/no hint of conservatism in him (this might be a controversial one but hear me out. As a woman you can be as progressive as you want since progressive politics tend to be pitched to women and tend to largely benefit women. Men who are too much on that bandwagon are usually doing some serious consumer-facing. He's either lying to get you into bed, he's rebelling/trying to avoid becoming his father, or he's an unserious adult. As a woman who's comfortable in her femininity, you have to be cool with a certain amount of conservatism. It speaks to his sense of honor and integrity, morality and values.)

  6. Over 25 and still smokes pot (I'll probably get flack for this one but dudes who have a daily relationship with pot over twenty-five can give unserious adult/arrested development. Plus, you might wind up playing mistress to his addiction meaning his mood and thus your time spent with him will be dictated on whether he's smoked or not, if he has some on him or knows where to find it wherever he is. No judgment on anybody who partakes but I'm just saying...)

I'd like the men to add to the list.