I'm of the opinion that men and women can be friends without one secretly lusting after the other.

I think issues arise when women put men in the friend zone whom they know are interested in them romantically, and on the other hand, men who just agree to that role knowing that's not what they want.

Men and women who understand they're strictly platonic can absolutely get along well.

However. I think there's a big reason why men and women tend not to be able to be "just friends" and it all boils down to how men and women maintain friendships.

What I've noticed is that when you're just friends with women, they tend to use you as an emotional dumping ground for everything that's going on in their lives. You become their therapist for everything from their job to the health to their family problems to their guy problems. And I say this with love: it can quickly become draining for men. In part because men don't relate to their friends in that way. We get on the game with our buddies or go out for wings or shoot hoops and that's it. We don't sit around spilling our guts about all of our problems.

Women do that and so they completely understand and relate to it. To us, it's mentally draining. If we're going to play that role, most men would rather do it for a girlfriend or wife than a platonic friend.

The other thing is, quite frankly, female friends can distract men from seeking out other "available" women. I don't want to be vulgar or anything, but men have sexual needs that tend to take precedence when it comes to dealing with women. We have something like 17x more testosterone than women, so the need for physical intimacy isn't something we can just ignore completely. It's not easy for most of us to get that kind of attention from women, so that's why we tend to hyper-focus on it.

If I'm already in a relationship and we're having sex on a regular basis, it's easier for me to be "just friends" with other women because I'm not wanting for sex.

On the flip side, I don't think women should on one hand forgo having a man who has a vested interested in her emotional well-being all so she can use her friends (male or female) as emotional sponges. I think women already in relationships are easier to be friends with as well for roughly the same reason: her emotional needs are being met (ideally) so then it becomes a question of whether or not she's a good hang.