Women only feel anxious and unsafe because they have no survival instincts, and don’t learn until something bad happens.

rosephase · 2026-06-29T18:49:23+00:00

Women are harmed by the men they are in relationships with much much more often then by a stranger. Living a paranoid life full of fear doesn't protect you. A gun is only going to make any situation more dangerous and deadly.

You think it's stranger danger when it's husbands, fathers, intimate partners that kill and beat women the vast majority of the time.

You are living in a fantasy land. Where the harm to women can be prevented by being carful in parking lots. And by calling women idiots for not carrying around a way to kill people. Telling women to "do better" isn't the help you seem to think it is.

cb8585b · 2026-06-29T19:06:24+00:00

The biggest risk to the safety of women is continuing to expect too much from men. It’s actually the greatest tool men have. There was a post the other day of a dude whining that women ignore and avoid men. That is the best harm prevention method and I don’t know why men complain about it. And not allowing cognitive dissonance to keep you from having one foot out the door at all times for men you decide to be in a relationship with or allow in your life generally. Trust should be limited and completely conditional.

Aside from that your post is so comically pointing out the obvious it’s amusing you present it as expertise almost. I can also anecdotally list things I personally know women to have done for safety. Men would claim the actions are hysterical.

Either way someone committed to harming you will go to great lengths to do so yet I agree there is no point in living in anxiety.

love_in_october · 2026-06-29T20:04:06+00:00

Being hypervigilant all the time is exhausting and terrible for your mental health, and the measures you take often don't have much impact on whether the bad thing happens anyway. You're holding women to an impossible standard, and they get criticised heavily for any safety measures they do take anyway.

Kitty_Overlord · 2026-06-29T18:57:14+00:00

I actually agree with most of the practical advices here and I think they apply to both men and women. I just... really dislike the framing that this is a women specific thing because I feel the leap is a little bit too big.

Like genuinely, these are good advices

- Tell someone where you're going.
- Meet in public.
- Don't leave your drink unattended.
- Trust your instincts.
- If someone gets angry at reasonable safety precautions, leave.

But I'd still like to say that humans in general often underestimate risks, and that's why we have people who drive and crash at 210km/h, or trying to fight a bear...

And I'd also say that “Women shouldn’t have to-“, “Why can’t men just-“, or “I’ll just call-“ and I think these aren't mutually exclusive as in women (and men) can and should take more precautions when it comes to meeting strangers and we as a society should also reduce violence

Barneysparky · 2026-06-29T18:52:32+00:00

Within a few hours "How dare women distrust strange men".

Tess27795 · 2026-06-29T19:07:16+00:00

Funny how so many men take risky jobs, it like they are missing out on something such as danger? They do, unfortunately, loose their lives in work accidents because women avoid high risk work.

If young women can be naive, so can young men. Some have to learn the hard way and this is not particular to one gender. There are always people who never learn.

As for the delusion that women can depend on men, let's be honest in life or death situations a man will use his strength and knowledge for himself: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3421183/

Still we have advantages: https://today.duke.edu/2018/01/women-survive-crises-better-men We do better in famine because we carry more fat and young girls survive better than young boys. (and yes we love the young boys too and do not want them to die).

Most of the women I know have common sense. They do not go into situations where they can be hurt. I am certainly unlikely to go on a walk alone after dark even in my safe neighbourhood. Women tend to be risk adverse.

Now about mass murderers, because they are a problem. Perhaps gun control is the issue? Let's not argue this on the wrong subreddit, but are you so sure you are not part of the problem?

Most dating women take precautions about meeting strangers. If there are some who do not, while there are always outliers. Is it possible you have a type? Either very young or disorganized women or someone who just is low on fear?

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-06-30T01:31:41+00:00

I was raised without survival instincts like many women. I was protected and cherished. And it was presumed I would somehow remain forever a chaste little girl unbewitched by men and having a sexuality at all was shamed...all while I was also raised and taught to be as appealing and pleasant by and for men as possible which is a lot like raising a lamb for the slaughter and forgetting to mention a slaughter and also expecting the lamb to "figure out how to avoid a slaughter". So yes, when I became interested in men since mother nature forgot my gay awakening, I was quick to hide it from shame and behave unsafely because I'd been taught men were basically good inside except for the bad ones who always are super obvious like in the movies.

Thus I would say my assault was nearly inevitable. And now I do all the things you recommend. And while it has taken me from an 100 of anxiety, it has not taken it down all that much. Because now I know what the world is really like...and it's much much worse than even a lovely man like yourself knows. That anxiety is beyond justified even if you're trained, have a gun, and all the rest. Because what they don't tell you is that the predators, the really bad ones, have all those things or they look like the person you fancy and know very very well.

And that's what keeps your anxiety where it is forever, because how can you recognize that bad guys when your earliest experiences tell you that they're probably someone you have known for decades and trust implicitly and so does everyone around you. They'd say that they're a "good guy". And even after you tell them what that "good guy" did, a lot of them don't quite believe you or need the whole story repeated in detail so they can discern how it might be your fault.

So yeah, having a gun and martial arts and all that other stuff is great...but it isn't going to prevent your most likely candidates from getting you.

-mixedsignals · 2026-06-29T19:02:16+00:00

low effort bait

anyway, there's more men being murdered by other men than women being murdered by men, or at least that's what men here repeat when we talk about this topic

so I guess men have even less survival instincts

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-29T22:15:21+00:00

Since men are victimized and suffer accidents way more than women, and women are blamed much more for not being anxious and neurotic, nah

GridReXX · 2026-06-29T19:02:50+00:00

When women take appropriate safety measures and operate with a reasonable amount of vigilance men start complaining about “male loneliness epidemic” or “being discriminated against” or “too many plant/cat ladies” or “women being too picky” or “ommgggggg why would you cheekily choose a bear over us!!!! 🤬😤” or “so neurotic” or “not all men are like that” or…

Ad infinitum.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-07-02T06:30:32+00:00

Yo, it’s not that women don’t have self preservation instincts, it’s that we are routinely shamed (by men) for having them.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Siukslinis_acc · 2026-06-30T01:41:07+00:00

Personally, i feel anxious and unsafe because i was constantly fearmongered since i was a child (while my brother wasn't).

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2026-06-29T19:01:41+00:00

In the U.S., men are murdered at 4-5 times the rate of women. It’s much the same in most western countries.

Also, in most western countries men are victims of violent crime more so than women, though the difference there isn’t as much.

Over 90% of workplace fatalities and serious injuries are men.

Men die earlier than women overall.

Contrary to what another answer said, women initiate more domestic violence than men. Men are more at risk of being attacked by a partner, (see source). (though if it escalates, women do tend to have worse outcomes.)

So, the focus on women’s safety isn’t because they face more risk, statistically they don’t. Women assess risk differently than men and society clearly cares about women’s safety more than men’s. For example we see the UN and many countries focusing on women’s safety despite the fact more men are being harmed in the areas in question.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/386189016_Bidirectional_and_Unidirectional_Intimate_Partner_Violence_A_Comprehensive_Review

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-06-29T21:05:32+00:00

I don’t disagree with any of the safety measures you’re suggesting. However, I completely disagree that women have any worse “survival instincts” than men, on average.

Men here will often point out that men are more frequently the victims of violent crime — and this is statistically true. But men are physically bigger and stronger than women, so why would this be? Well, because they are more likely to overestimate their safety by virtue of being male, and to willingly put themselves in dangerous situations/not think the situation is dangerous for them. Often, the tougher he thinks he is, the more danger he puts himself in.

Now, do some women make really unsafe choices like those you described? Absolutely. But those aren’t the same women who are “constantly scared for their safety.” Those women are the ones who refuse to go to the grocery after dark alone, let alone be going over to a stranger’s home or walking with earbuds in at night.

Oh and one last thing. Most violent crimes committed against women are by someone she knows and trusts. So to assume that taking precautions against “stranger danger” should take away women’s fear or functionally keep us safe is a bit misguided in itself.

DankuTwo · 2026-06-30T16:30:46+00:00

Virtually no one needs to carry a weapon around….particularly not a gun. If you find yourself in a position to need something like that you have made a very long series of terrible decisions to get you there.

Better to avoid those bad decisions instead.

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RakeChapman13 · 2026-06-30T00:10:31+00:00

You seem to characterize women as more risk adverse than they actually are.

BusinessZestyclose86 · 2026-06-30T00:49:36+00:00

Well at least it’s not just me then

wouldbepandananny · 2026-07-02T12:03:49+00:00

Feeling anxious IS A SURVIVAL INSTINCT.

Listening to that anxiety IS A SURVIVAL INSTINCT.

Are you trying to say there are insufficient opportunities for women to learn appropriate self-defense? That just about all organized activities that target survival skills (from boy scouts to martial arts) are geared toward boys and men, and that girls and women are made to feel very unwelcome in such spaces (often intentionally)? Because that's true.

Are you also saying that because of the size and strength differential between most men and women, women need specialized self-defense training to out-manuever an average man with no training? Because that's also true.

Are you saying that, due to the scarcity of such opportunities for women to learn proper self-defense and therefore the likely inconvenience involved, women lack sufficient motivation to attend until a man victimized them? That also seems reasonable.

Your "common-sense strategies" are insufficient. The man who raped me was a good friend; someone I'd known through student government and had spirited debates with about religion and ethics- making me believe he cared about such things. We'd been friends for years.

You say not to trust strangers- but what have you said to the men on this sub who sound off about women they've just met acting mistrustful of them? And really, isn't that what you are doing in your comment? You seem to be personally bothered by women feeling fearful of men, and also bothered by women who are victimized. Not bothered on their behalf, but bothered that they put themselves in that situation. You suggest we never leave our homes unless we are in groups or it is broad daylight.

You are talking out both sides of your mouth- "learn self-defense, carry a gun- because you being afraid annoys me" AND "be afraid of men, avoid all situations where men exist, because they WILL hurt you, and it will be YOUR fault for not being more careful."

I'm sorry that the lack of safety women experience in the world annoys you. Imagine being me, and anytime you are out and public and see a man, trying to assess your easiest get-away routes; reviewing what shoes he's wearing compared to mine, and my assessment of whether or not I could outrun him. That must suck, for you, I guess. 🙄

Bernouttheday · 2026-06-29T18:52:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2026-06-29T18:44:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Women only feel anxious and unsafe because they have no survival instincts, and don’t learn until something bad happens.
Author	Spicy_take
Upvotes	17
Comments	146
Date	June 29, 2026 6:43 PM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1uj12jf/women_only_feel_anxious_and_unsafe_because_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-only-feel-anxious-and-unsafe-because-they.1583914 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583914

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