If you had a choice, would you rather have a boy or a girl? Why or why not and state the problems / difficulties of the gender you wouldn't choose.

LifterofThings · 2019-05-29T14:24:40+00:00

Our oldest two are boy-girl twins and our youngest is a girl. But this reminds me of the "what makes you feel masculine/feminine" question. I don't really think of them as Boy and Girl and Girl; I perceive them and experience them as themselves. Thing 1 (boy) is reserved and intellectual like his dad; Thing 2 (girl) is a hedgehog-obsessed MPDG; Thing 3 (girl) is a remorseless warlord in training.

These are the kids we've got and these are the personalities they have. But neither their dad nor I has ever been invested in doing "girl things" with the girls or "boy things" with the boy, so.

Texastentialism · 2019-05-29T14:23:59+00:00

Ideally I want at least one of each. (In fact I would love to employ the u/CreightonWAbrams method and have boy-girl twins right out of the gate.)

But if I could only have one, I'd rather have a girl. The women in my family have a really special bond and I'd like to continue that with my own daughter.

Also, the phrase "A daughter's a daughter for all of your life; a son is your son until he takes a wife" is very true in my experience. Certainly in my family. I think daughters are more likely to stay close to family, let their kids spend more time with their parents, take care of you when you're old etc. I know there are always exceptions, but I do think a daughter is a safer bet in this regard.

sublimemongrel · 2019-05-29T16:56:47+00:00

I wanted a girl because it’s my first, I have no brothers, I didn’t grow up with any boys and I just felt like shit I already don’t know wtf I’m doing at least with a girl I’ll have some frame of reference, being one myself. Husband wanted a boy. Guess what I’m having in a month: a boy!

I’m very excited but still just feel like I’ll be even more out of my element. All my friends with boys keep telling me they are awesome though!

GridReXX · 2019-05-29T16:03:51+00:00

My friend’s newborn son peed directly in my mouth when we were changing him. Since then I’ve definitely had more desire for a girl. But I’ve always wanted a girl more. I’d love whatever I get.

analt223 · 2019-05-29T15:39:55+00:00

Its kinda irresponsible to have sons now. By the time they are in middle school they are already a walking avatar of the "evils" in the world.

Its becoming much harder to properly raise a son to be attractive to women so he can have healthy relationships with the opposite sex, but not a "patriarchal bastard". This is because any man with social power and influence by definition is part of the evil patriarchy that must be abolished.

Unfortunately the largest problem is: self improvement is patriarchy, because men are only liked when good at stuff. But being good at stuff leads to male power in various subcultures.

blackedoutfast · 2019-05-29T17:09:13+00:00

Is having daughters the ultimate cuckoldry?

I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for the men that will eventually fuck her in every hole.

Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to fuck her tight pussy every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her.

As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically

grand_tiremaster · 2019-05-29T14:20:54+00:00

If God blesses me with a husband who wants children, I'd probably want both. Boys should learn how to protect women by protecting their sisters. and girls should learn and observe how men are naturally without judgement, hence the need for a brother. I'd want both genders as children, so they learn and observe natural male and female behaviors from each other.

DaphneDK42 · 2019-05-29T14:04:41+00:00

I have both. For the next I'd want more girls. I just like girls more in general and like to hang out with them. I also make really beautiful daughters.

[deleted] · 2019-05-29T20:39:33+00:00

A girl she'd have an easier life

MoodyBrizo · 2019-05-29T23:48:27+00:00

Having a son in current year is child abuse.

crackrocksteady7 · 2019-05-29T13:41:14+00:00

I'd rather have a boy so I could teach him how to be a man right instead of my dad's "do well in school make money and ignore everything else" philosophy

AutoModerator · 2019-05-29T12:51:13+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Eastuss · 2019-05-29T13:43:38+00:00

Boy: I have to raise him and make sure he's told enough masculinity to avoid him being a clueless incel.

Girl: I don't have much to do it's my wife's problem, I just have to be me and try not influence her too much with male solipsism over how women should behave. I should educate her on how men are and what to expect though.

Both have their perks and their issue.

diffdedbed · 2019-05-29T13:48:05+00:00

I have both. If I were to have another kid I'd want a boy because boys are easier, but thats how its been with my kids.

I have friends where the boy is the problem child.

I think this is one of those questions where personal experiences bias you too much.

SqueaksScreech · 2019-05-29T13:48:09+00:00

I want a boy first. It'll be easier for a while and I can just enjoy my time just chilling with my son before I have a girl. I know I'm gonna have a hard time if she's on the girly side. I'm not mentally ready for a girl.

lefactorybebe · 2019-05-29T14:05:02+00:00

I'm not sure, I don't even know if I want kids at all. But I think I might rather have a daughter. The only sibling I have is a sister, so I've never seen a boy being raised, so I have a better idea of what to do with a girl, you know?

Orange_Paisley · 2019-05-29T15:02:00+00:00

I was a divorced single mom and I am glad mine was a girl, simply because I think it was easier since I knew how to be a girl. I don’t know from boys. I don’t even like sports.

brodudedoggman · 2019-05-29T15:38:26+00:00

A boy of course. Need someone to inherit the throne.

CainPrice · 2019-05-29T15:50:50+00:00

Girl.

If I had a boy, there's no way I could compete with school and society. If I tried to make my son work hard and do what was best for him, 1950s style, while he was getting conflicting messages from school and society that he's a special snowflake and shouldn't have to endure stress or difficulty, he'd break, rebel against me, and become some kind of drugged-up cross-dressing therapy junky. Depending on what the laws are by that time, I might be in jail for emotional abuse for attempting to force my poor frail son to conform to outdated masculine gender norms. He'd have a year or two feeling good about himself for rebelling, but would eventually get very sad and lonely because even though he's a unique special snowflake, nobody would want to be friends, date, or have sex with a non-masculine weirdo. He'd double-up on therapy and anti-depressants, get fat, and eventually commit suicide. Everyone would blame me even though he fucked his own life up.

If I had a girl, I'd get her into sports and martial arts and push her to excel at school and build the perfect resume, she'd be eager to please and would enjoy the praise and attention from society for doing well at stuff, and everybody would praise me for raising such a strong woman.

BirdManBrrrr · 2019-05-29T18:28:21+00:00

I'm having a boy soon. I would love and adore a girl and with my luck the next one will be.

I'm a little relieved since I'm thinking it will be easier to try to keep him alive and not do retarded boy things as he grows up vs. have to manage the multiple layers of what it looks like girls go through these days: the "mean girls" clique stuff, social media, attention/validation whoring, sexualizing themselves earlier and earlier, self esteem issues related to all of the above...I get that both boys and girls go through all that to some degree but it strikes me girls get it the worst.

Me if I have a girl.

I could be totally wrong on all of it, but I'll figure it out.

DXBrigade · 2019-05-29T18:36:42+00:00

I don't have a preference maybe one of each (?). I never understood why other people do.

arcticshqip · 2019-05-29T18:40:27+00:00

I have both and I love them equally, but I know that girls will suffer so much more in their lives. I just hope they will be strong enough to not get married.

Willow-girl · 2019-05-29T18:41:54+00:00

Childfree but if I were forced to bear a child I'd pick a boy if he could be a carbon copy of my man. OTOH, I'm not sure if I could deal with two smartasses around here, so it's probably best that ain't gonna happen!

sadomasochrist · 2019-05-29T20:07:30+00:00

Both genders have their own issues. But the female issue is more complex and serious.

The male issue is mostly related to ensuring they don't become anti social criminals. This I think is less difficult if you're even remotely proficiency as a parent.

The female issue is to somehow get them to choose a mate that balances arousal and pro social values in a marriage material man while getting her to understand she can't have her cake and eat it too.

Tough sell to a teenager.

If she becomes westernized there's a 25% chance ridding the CC will work out for them and 75% their marriage will fail or be suboptimal. First partner stable marriage outcomes are pretty high.

I haven't entirely worked this out yet because it's a complex psychological phenomenon that underpins generational change.

Basically, what makes children rebel? To what degree and how can you get your children to unilaterally trust you and have high enough FTO orient themselves in that way?

Both are enjoyable in their own ways. Personally enjoy girls more because it lets me act like a fag for a bit.

[deleted] · 2019-05-29T20:08:54+00:00

I seem to love my daughter more than my son. She is needy, silly, emotional and somewhat cunning/crafty. My son is straightforward and independent. He just goes and does whatever he wants whenever he wants and enjoys when people tell him no, so he can do it harder. I like him, he's my bud, and I for sure want to teach him how to be a strong, suave, resourceful male. But it isn't that spiritual connection like I feel for my daughter. I'm open that it might change in time though.

Incidentally, my wife feels almost exactly the same but flipped, she gets annoyed by our daughter's manipulative shenanigans but loves our son's rampaging brutish ways. She's like: he's so naughty~~~ <3 <3 :D Strange how shit works.

grand_tiremaster · 2019-05-29T22:23:26+00:00

I have always imagined myself with a baby boy. I do not think about a little girl too much. I imagine my future child playing with his dad, learning how to fish, being taken on camping trips, hunting trips, watching his dad fix the car and eagerly wanting to learn, etc etc. The only downside I can think of right now is that my future son will eat food like a monster.. I hear from parents of teenage boys, that their son(s) eat SOOO much. I hope I will be able to afford feeding a hungry teenager LOL.

When it comes to having a girl, I have imagined raising a little princess who will want to have tea parties and barbie dolls galore. A girly girl pretty much. (I was raised this way and I have no complaints. I had so many barbies lol) The downside to girls I imagine, is that when they reach puberty they will become verrry moody. I know pubescent boys can be moody lil shits too. I think the answer to that is to not be a pushover parent and instill some discipline in the household. Yes ma'am, yes sir, please and thank you, and no talking back. And a girl will also eat a alot... I know when I was a teen, I was skinny as a stick but always eating food.

kandyapplez · 2019-05-29T22:37:50+00:00

i want a boy only lmao. raising a girl sounds terrifyingly boring to me and im afraid i wouldn't attach emotionally to a daughter at all :( its crazy im like up my moms ass too so i don't know why i feel that way lol

escapethesolarsystem · 2019-05-29T23:01:03+00:00

I'd prefer two kids, one of each gender. Both have advantages and disadvantages, but I like variety, so I'd prefer to get a shot at raising both.

matrixpush · 2019-05-29T23:45:46+00:00

Women with at least one daughter generally seem happier, if this matters in any way. Outside of "gender disappointment" forums it's rarely discussed, although it's very obvious.

https://www.webmd.com/depression/postpartum-depression/news/20080215/postpartum-depression-linked-to-boys#1

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/11/181106114101.htm

DebatePony · 2019-05-30T02:04:26+00:00

This question was asked of me a lot when I first found out I was pregnant. I'll tell you what I told them: I'm hoping for a puppy.

My husband secretly wanted a girl.

LeJacquelope · 2019-05-30T02:41:44+00:00

I'm glad my three biological children are daughters. They will have it quite easy compared to men, given the same level of effort put into life. And this is already starting to manifest for my eldest, teenage daughter. Having a daughter all but ensures my genetic line will continue, plus my daughters have all been less wild than boys, there's less competitive pressure, they will never be judged by their ability to be a provider or a meat shield... and they'll live longer, too.

reluctantly_red · 2019-05-30T04:16:34+00:00

I'm surrounded by girls. I have three daughters and three granddaughters but only one son. Another boy to even things out would be nice.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-05-30T04:31:43+00:00

Neither but a girl would be worse

[deleted] · 2019-05-30T04:35:10+00:00

I want a girl first but then a boy. People always say brothers are protective over their sisters- but older sisters can get fucking terrifying if you mess with their little brother. My friend is the oldest and she's the only girl out of three boys and I think it's cute how after the second oldest (he's like 15) went through his first heartbreak and she was comforting him and stuff.

HossMcDank · 2019-05-30T06:55:22+00:00

Girl probably, since I'm not a "masculine" guy and thus would probably not make my son the coolest guy around.

HostileErectile · 2019-05-30T09:24:11+00:00

A boy without a doubt... I would grow mad protecticing my daughter.

prostate-apostate · 2019-05-30T16:25:28+00:00

Sons , but im sure i will never have kids .

throwinout · 2019-05-30T17:59:20+00:00

I want only boys, but I want less male children than female children to be born. Too many guys is a problem. Let other men get their daughters slut it up, that's not for me.

My family typically has more sons than daughters, so hopefully it works out.

circlingldn · 2019-05-31T20:26:35+00:00

Either All boys 1 year apart from each other so they can protect each other in school...or all girls so they will all get laid and married

[deleted] · 2019-06-03T00:29:58+00:00

I'd rather have a boy, cause I wanna raise the man that was never raised.

lionhart280 · 2019-06-04T18:09:03+00:00

Oh man, great question.

Assuming I can use any method to pick, I would flip a coin.

The existential dread that I forced my childs sex on them as they grow up would always fuck with me, and Id constantly question if I made the right choice. Itd be a sinister voice in the back if my head, constantly quietly whispering 'but if you had chosen the other one, would this have happened...?'

Coin flip would allow me to push it back to the fates and clear my conciousness.

Assuming I am completely forced to pick, my gut says boy because I just have the perfect boys name picked out already, and dont have a girls picked yet.

Muse_asvhedu · 2019-06-05T00:55:14+00:00

A girl, then a boy... mostly because fucking potty training. I nanny girls. I got potty training girls down pat, okay, I can do that. I can’t handle peen spraying piss everywhere.

planejane · 2019-05-29T13:39:06+00:00

Boys. Judging by my brother's and my experience, as well as some views here, men still have more freedom to fuck up and recover and find themselves, and be respected for it, while in women it's a flaw or evidence of flighty character. They generally have more freedom to direct the course of their lives (not saying women can't; I certainly have, but it's harder).

Besides, I'm a tomboy. I wouldn't know what to do with fields of pink or tulle, if I had a very feminine girl.

CamoWoobie1000000 · 2019-05-29T13:49:40+00:00

I'm kind of torn. Having a daughter is a near guarentee of her being able to have children and continue my genetic line, but yeah, as the saying goes, having a daughter is the ultimate and final cuck.

Having a son, theres always a risk he might not make it, especially since I only see Male sexlessness and treatment of men getting even worse in the future. I would raise a son to be redpilled. No offense to my dad, but he did a terrible job of preparing me for the world. I cant really blame him because things were much different when he was growing up. I would raise a son to be ready and prepared.

FlyingResearcher · 2019-05-29T15:22:33+00:00

I'd want a girl. Better chance she'll get married, have kids, retain custody of kids.

Plus life wouldn't be as hard for her so she'd go further in life than she would if she was a boy.

You just have to teach her responsibility and things like that which a lot of women never learn (often never need to learn) in our culture.

Title	If you had a choice, would you rather have a boy or a girl? Why or why not and state the problems / difficulties of the gender you wouldn't choose.
Author	throwawayemotions34
Upvotes	5
Comments	154
Date	May 29, 2019 12:51 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/buea61/if_you_had_a_choice_would_you_rather_have_a_boy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-had-a-choice-would-you-rather-have-a-boy-or.255550 https://theredarchive.com/post/255550

Comments