Q4Men: What would you do if you asked out a woman and she said to you: "I think we should be friends first" ?

CainPrice · 2018-10-31T04:01:20+00:00

D) Accept the rejection and recognize her offer of friendship as a courteous effort to try to let me down easy rather than a sincere desire for friendship. Tell her no worries, that sounds fine. Go home. Text somebody who's actually into me and have sex with her instead. Don't call or text this girl again, and be absolutely not surprised at all when she never calls or texts me either because we both knew she wasn't serious about being friends and was just being polite.

RexOverAll · 2018-10-31T05:16:23+00:00

D) Forget she ever existed, never let a woman tell you twice she doesn't need you.

SmurfESmurferson · 2018-10-31T10:21:02+00:00

Probably ask her if she has any hot friends

prodigy2throw · 2018-10-31T04:28:06+00:00

I’m out. No time for that shit

jax006 · 2018-10-31T04:06:19+00:00

Basically C, providing shes cool and I'm not solely interested in dat azz.

Probably start treating her different as far as things like attention, how quick I am to invite her to stuff I do, ect.

Would probably not go any farther than a casual relationship if she were to change her mind.

ItsOverBoyosLDAR · 2018-10-31T06:56:01+00:00

A) Accept the rejection, tell her you don't want to be friends and move on.

Not willing to become one of her beta cuck orbiters.

[deleted] · 2018-10-31T04:17:12+00:00

Probably A. Or I might "be friendly" with her but keep her at an arms length like more of an acquaintance in case she changes her mind or I feel like I can use her as an in to another girl, like one of her friends. Like I would talk to her in whatever setting I normally see her in, but I'm not gunna be texting her and meeting up with her outside of that place. It kind of depends on how into me it seems she is. Like if shes flirty with me I might actually be "friends" with her for the validation, I wouldnt see her as a friend, but as a potential partner in the "get to know you" kind of quasi-friend pre-girlfriend state. I wouldnt give it longer than a month before it's back to the acquiantence zone for her if she doesnt want to date though. I hate wasting time on women as platonic friends.

Mattcwu · 2018-10-31T04:18:13+00:00

D) Slice off all my fingers and toes with a car door.

darksoldierk · 2018-10-31T04:23:36+00:00

I'd probably accept the friendship and continue looking for something else, and, to be honest, if she changes her mind, I probably would say no. If you don't want me when I ask, you're not worth my time.

boredthenyoureboring · 2018-10-31T07:07:58+00:00

i probably wouldn't say i dont want to be friends, but i wouldnt want to be

i've been let down easy enough times that i assume anything that isn't OVERT sexual interest is a full on rejection

Whodunnit88 · 2018-10-31T04:10:25+00:00

A few years ago I would have chosen C. But now I realise that's just torturing yourself. So now I choose A all the time.

miiiing · 2018-10-31T07:38:12+00:00

Some of these responses are cooked as fuck. wtf???

Anyways I'm a dude and I've said similar shit numerous times. It's not necessarily rejection - it's more of I'd genuinely like to be their friend or I'd rather get to know them more before dating/fucking.

Everyone's different and it depends on the individuals involved. Anyways from your responses it sounds like you just wanted to tap that ass and didn't really want friendship so your decisions already made GL.

abaxeron · 2018-10-31T09:53:00+00:00

A) Accept the rejection, tell her you don't want to be friends and move on.

The saying "There is no escape from the Friend Zone" exists for a reason. I've spent too much time on too many orbits to be thankful for the offer of another one.

Maybe I'll ask her out on Goodbye Dinner and tell her to delete my phone number before my eyes.

st-johnson · 2018-10-31T06:55:25+00:00

Move on bro she don't want u

[deleted] · 2018-10-31T07:38:35+00:00

I'd say 'ok' and then probably forget about her.

[deleted] · 2018-10-31T08:03:01+00:00

I tell her B but I'm nexting

Eastuss · 2018-10-31T08:28:00+00:00

C. There's no reason for me to reject her friendship, however that friendship likely won't be what she expects of it since I won't be her orbiter and won't provide her with attention. I also doubt the "first" ever exists though, if she doesn't see you now as a romantic and sexual partner she never will.

cxj · 2018-10-31T08:32:09+00:00

I’d just say “sure” then not call, text or otherwise contact her

wtknight · 2018-10-31T12:16:54+00:00

I’d try friends, but I’d be pursuing other women at the same time. I would definitely not get one-itis for some woman who wanted to try being friends first, and I definitely wouldn’t make her a priority over a woman who I had a better chance to gain something romantically with.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-10-31T08:55:24+00:00

Sure. I'll be friends with anyone. They probably won't see a lot of me, though, I'm super introverted, have a million hobbies and already have a LTR, so my free time is narrow.

Arobin08 · 2018-10-31T05:55:31+00:00

C. She did say "friends first' implying something more would come later. Being her friend doesnt cost me anything and if I stick around I might get to date her when she's ready.

AutoModerator · 2018-10-31T03:52:07+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Hystericalprince · 2018-10-31T03:52:52+00:00

I'd be friends with her and just date other girls until she's ready, all good.

hammerhaunts · 2018-10-31T03:59:00+00:00

-OpportunityCost · 2018-10-31T04:35:18+00:00

C) I'd give it a week and if there is no chance of sex then cut it off and stop wasting time.

HossMcDank · 2018-10-31T05:32:14+00:00

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2018-10-31T05:53:48+00:00

cadencebeats · 2018-10-31T07:32:52+00:00

I guess C. Put her on the bench and focus on developing your starters. Your odds of success are slim, so I wouldn't put much effort in, but if something happens, cool.

[deleted] · 2018-10-31T07:55:06+00:00

Mr_White119811 · 2018-10-31T12:56:49+00:00

B) With the additional line of "I dont like putting people I know in boxes like that, all I can promise is we won't do anything unless we both feel safe and comfortable".

Then I will get on with my life. Not sure what her idea of "Friends" is, when I have been told this before, its just a polite rejection rather than actually "Lets be friends".

But at least I will know where I stand, so I can move on. Of course I will still be civil if I see her about and engage in small talk. But I will not be fussed about her, if anything is to happen in the future she would have to make the hints/moves.

As for Option A, thats just being a dick. as for option C, thats friend-zone stuff.

[deleted] · 2018-10-31T12:58:20+00:00

B). I could use more friends.

dylang92 · 2018-10-31T13:28:03+00:00

A.) If I’m interested in something else than what you are, then how can any sort of relationship work between us. If two people aren’t on the same page, then there can’t be any kind of relationship, whether it’s romantic, sexual, platonic, whatever.

dicklord_airplane · 2018-10-31T13:36:08+00:00

She has a low libido. No thanks. I like girls who are hot for me, not tepid chicks who require months to get comfortavle. I might remain friends with her if she's a good friend and interesting person, though.

HostileErectile · 2018-10-31T14:46:40+00:00

Accept it, but decline the friendship, maybe even laugh at the notion and how stupid and silly it is.

passepar2t · 2018-10-31T17:00:47+00:00

[deleted] · 2018-10-31T18:40:01+00:00

D) Ask her to be your Friend with Benefits.

If she says no, then:

E) Ask her to be your wingman.

[deleted] · 2018-10-31T20:35:20+00:00

A.

I was looking for romance, not friendship.

daveofmars · 2018-10-31T22:41:04+00:00

I guess A? I'd tell her it's either one or the other; you can't have both.

AFuzzyMuffin · 2018-11-01T02:39:45+00:00

I pick B but based on my history with women, plus my horrible initial impression I give girls at first I keep C in the back of my mind at least till the statistical date expires.

GirlsHateMtgplayers · 2018-11-01T22:55:58+00:00

Why would you ever explicitly tell her you don't want to be friends with her?

If you just say sure and then move on as if she doesn't exist you avoid a potentially awkward situation (her being offended, you looking like an asshole) while not changing the end result in the slightest.

Even if you agree to a friendship, she is never going to hit you up. The friendship is entirely dependent on what you want to do with it.
If you don't want a friendship just say sure and then never hit her up again.

TriadFamilyTimes · 2018-11-01T23:28:58+00:00

D) "Friends first like you don't want dating pressure right now and need to take anything slow or friends first like you're not really interested but open to seeing if I'm more appealing later?"

DarktlTempo · 2018-11-17T02:16:47+00:00

I know I gotta move on but damn I'm just trying to find a place to cover my wounds man

whitetrashcarl · 2018-10-31T16:08:06+00:00

D) take her out for drinks “as friends” and feel out what she really meant by that

petrichordium · 2018-10-31T04:20:09+00:00

Ask her why she’s deluding herself and other people.

Explain i have a ton of female friends but we didn’t start that way.

Fuck other people.

Ask her how she met people she’s had good genuine relationships with, and if it was at all similar to this.

Fuck other people.

Ask her whether she pursues faster sexual connections with others and how that vibe works.

Fuck other people.

Ask her whether she’s an actual person or some weird hypothetical construct on reddit.

Fuck other people.

beachredwhine · 2018-10-31T04:56:59+00:00

Cool let's be friends I love friends. Maybe she'll chat with me.

Maybe she'll be honest and drag it out.

Maybe she'll be my friend.

BiggerDthanYou · 2018-10-31T08:18:33+00:00

Real life doesn't work like a math test so I'd say: it depends.

There's simply no one-size-fits-all solution, because different scenarios can be solved with different solutions.

It could be A, B or C, but without further information it's impossible to say which one I would choose.

Title	Q4Men: What would you do if you asked out a woman and she said to you: "I think we should be friends first" ?
Author	Whodunnit88
Upvotes	11
Comments	119
Date	October 31, 2018 3:52 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9svce4/q4men_what_would_you_do_if_you_asked_out_a_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-what-would-you-do-if-you-asked-out-a-woman.259243 https://theredarchive.com/post/259243

Comments