How to love a polygamous man?

Freethetreees · 2018-10-14T18:39:27+00:00

You pick a man who has had a variety of life experiences, positive and negative, and had the introspection to evaluate and learn from them. People who are worth dating put effort into acknowledging the shitty aspects of their personality and work on fixing them- that's what makes them a good teammate.

whichbladeN · 2018-10-14T18:53:28+00:00

You have to find a mate who is attractive but just spergy enough not to seek out female attention outside of the relationship.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-10-14T18:22:36+00:00

Become a cuck queen and love the fact that he is poly.

ivegotsomequestions0 · 2018-10-14T20:02:49+00:00

I think i might be the only top level comment from a straight woman, as you requested.

I'm really hoping that terps are right about the wife goggles. My husband has zero interest in women over forty or so now, in his mid thirties. Will that change as we keep aging? Hope so but not sure.

I've read posts on trp itself, written by men who find themselves falling out of love with their partner as her value starts declining fast and his stays the same or even improves. (Note: most of the commenters gave them advice along the lines of "do what makes you happy," which was interesting coming from a group that has such a high opinion of male loyalty and honor.) I know high school sweetheart couples in real life where the woman got the short end of the stick as she gave all her best years to the guy -- the guy took those years and sort of woke up in his late twenties, thought he could do better, refused marriage and eventually broke up or demanded an open relationship.

But it was either roll the dice or else stay alone, so i chose to play and I'm hoping that as long as I'm a good wife, things will work in my favor.

Edit: by the way, I'm perfectly aware that over time, my husband will desire other, younger women, and i don't and can't demand that he not have those thoughts, just that he not act on them. People would think i was out of my mind if i got hysterical about his thought crimes. Terps could stand to follow suit.

darla10 · 2018-10-14T20:36:00+00:00

I’m banking on wife goggles. This better be a real thing or I’m toast 10 years from now.

average-brown-dude · 2018-10-14T18:57:24+00:00

I would love my gf even if she became a quadriplegic With stretch marks that would make a zebra jealous.

You sound jaded and a lot like the female counterpart of an incel.

Jrobalmighty · 2018-10-14T19:12:08+00:00

Touché

Nice way to restate the other side. More people should try to build a strong counter case rather than straw women.

See what I did there!

cxj · 2018-10-14T18:30:41+00:00

This obsession with "what if" is some seriously fear based lack of dynamic thinking ability. What makes people think they don't have to try in a marriage? Or that trying is pointless because it all goes down in flames 100% of the time? Or that somehow people forget they age after marriage? Some seriously jaded and chickenshit adversarial relationship stuff lately. Nobody KNOWS anything about the future, so stating absolutes is outrageous and silly. Whatever happened to doing the best you can with what you know?

Jesus fuck if my husband meets someone younger good luck to her in competing with me at 20 before he was married and had kids and a job where people depend on him to not take absurd amounts of time off to travel and fuck. Really, if she can snag him with what little time he has she deserves him.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2018-10-14T20:25:23+00:00

simple: love him the way he loves you as long as he is making you feel speshul, cherished, as long as he serves his purpose (whatever that may be). when it's over, dump him and onto the next one. males are replaceable and disposable.

true love and support is for your sisters and female bff's. males are for passing pleasure and procreation.

more importantly: love yourself.

HoxHound · 2018-10-14T18:23:51+00:00

I know this isn't serious, but a lot of men would be happy if women weren't okay with alpha sharing. It's well known in the manosphere that a woman would prefer being in Chad's soft harem over having a lesser-value man to herself.

This happens all the time, it's the 80/20 rule. A woman starts dating a guy but doesn't want to scare him off by asking for exclusivity. Chad ends up milking this to the very end.

__Some_person__ · 2018-10-14T18:33:13+00:00

Life is not just about youth. Just because you're not the youngest wife, doesn't mean you don't deserve love. Often the wife that can connect and emphasize the most with her husband gets the most attention.

Salaam Alaikum

abaxeron · 2018-10-14T20:42:26+00:00

I've read this entire post to see what the OP will replace:

Women overwhelmingly are the initiators for divorce. The reason LEAST given for divorce is abuse.

with.

Obviously, nothing.

Inb4 "Take it to automod" - No. This is definitely a mockery post. Stop being nasty little pedants for once.

dylang92 · 2018-10-15T01:54:17+00:00

What kind of men are you dating? Because based on your views and supposed life experiences, you’re dating like the top 20% of men.

Most men don’t have the options you speak of; like for below, average, and even slightly above average, don’t have the ability to just break up with their SO for whatever reason, nor do they have the ability to have an affair. Those options, especially when younger, are reserved for the genuine Chads of the world. But average looking men, because they don’t have the option to cheat or leave as easily, will many times put up and settle for whatever negative trait you have.

I don’t know what kind of men you’re going for, but if I were you maybe you should lower your standards and try dating an average looking guy. That, or if you’re hell bent on being with Chads, you need to be the best option out there. You need to remain fit and feminine looking, like everything has to be on point, makeup, hair, body, outfits, everything. You have to be literally the best sex that guy has ever had, and he has to know he ever will. Bring up threesomes, experiment, be submissive. Chad pretty much gets DMs on Instagram and Twitter asking to fuck, making it super easy to cheat, so you need to be such a good option that he won’t cheat or leave.

Purple5091 · 2018-10-14T21:51:53+00:00

the answer is simple,you don't.you don't love a polygamous man..you can pretend to love him for benefits etc but never truly love him.use him and never be loyal to him...but pretend to be

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2018-10-14T23:31:08+00:00

I’ll grant that you are describing a significant portion of men out there. However, this perspective seems a bit immature. Many of the difficulties you describe for women in relationships apply to men equally.

It’s not as if men don’t age, or lose SMV over time. Despite what TRP says, most >40 men aren’t hooking up with younger girls on a regular basis.

I’m in my early thirties now, and while I still value youth, fertility and sex appeal — that is not the end-all be-all. I find myself evaluating a woman’s character and lifestyle with much more scrutiny than when I was young and dumb.

Questions I ask now. Is she pleasant? Is she a hoe? Does she have vices and addictions? Does she value family?

In other words, what does she bring to the table as a partner? Sex is only one part of that. If that’s all you bring to the table as a woman, then yes I’ll get bored with you rather quickly and find a better model.

throwaway-637 · 2018-10-15T09:39:58+00:00

You're right. I want to cry:))

All I can do is try to delude myself into thinking he loves me. But that's not gonna work. I want to date a physically deformed guy so he has lower chance of leaving me or cheating on me, and MAYBE he would be happier with me since he's just grateful to have a girlfriend, but I'm ugly too so he'd still not be attracted to me and satisfied with me.

I've seen guys in wheelchairs say they want a pretty girlfriend. It's fucking over.

BisquitBill · 2018-10-14T23:15:31+00:00

To me, men's love feels inherently dehumanizing. They love you like an object, to be prized, shown off, and protected while new and shiny, then forgotten about, resented, or replaced when it gets old and loses its veneer.

Seek therapy.

Nobodykers · 2018-10-14T17:50:23+00:00

Hey, this is an attack on the other post. We should post the other one to MGTOW and this one to gendercritical so everyone sees how moronic these genderwars are when both groups show how devoid of critical thinking they are. Humans are sheep with opinions that are heavily dependent on their race and gender. How can your opinion even have value when it's predetermined by either a dick or a hole.

HairyNormus199 · 2018-10-14T21:19:44+00:00

If you're so concerned with being replaced, why not just get with a nice guy? There are literally millions of men out there who are willing (if not desperate) to settle down with an average woman. The only complaint I can see is you not being able to lock down an alpha, which really shouldn't be a complaint given the big discrepancy in SMV.

The men you are describing so happen to be the top 10 percent of all men in terms of SMV, which is only a small portion of all men. Why not take a look at the other 90 percent?

jonadragonslay · 2018-10-14T19:10:47+00:00

This post implies that women don't love that way. Which I, as a man, do not believe. With both genders not holding out for the long haul, is love even real?

clindh · 2018-10-15T00:38:40+00:00

Of course he will cheat or "fall out of love with you" if you stop giving him the sex he needs... Just contribute as much as you can to a relationship like any decent person would do

LUClEN · 2018-10-15T03:56:08+00:00

Your typification doesn't capture my own subjective experience at all.

You try dating men of a diff culture? Maybe that will get your better insight

Also, I don't see what the problem is with falling out of love. If you change and are no longer the person they loved, why would you expect them to love you and stay committed? That sounds like a prison more than love. If you loved them at all, one would wonder why you would want to trap them in such an arrangement only for them to be unsatisfied.

idobermanlover · 2018-10-15T04:03:51+00:00

When women themselves are hypergamous in nature. They can't blame men to chose the better option.

smashbrosonic · 2018-10-15T04:43:15+00:00

I don't think you are looking for the right guy. A guy who cares wouldn't do that to you. In the end, there are guys who care more about long term than short term; the guys who care about you, and your every aspect- not just your looks. If you look just for a bit in society, you can see very old people who actually do find partners for life. These people have found something deeper. Either you need to take more care in who you choose{having more respect for yourself while attracting it from others}, become that "right girl", or maybe a bit of both. Why love someone who is polygamous? There's no use in that. Give him the boot.

Pope_Lucious · 2018-10-14T22:06:45+00:00

The problem isn’t men “falling out of love” with their wives. It’s their wives giving up on their physical fitness and becoming middle-aged hambeasts nagging for a new car every 3 years.

petrichordium · 2018-10-14T20:39:56+00:00

Be a good partner in the daily stuff and encourage him to be sensible and just keep sugarbabies instead of deluding himself into thinking he might actually have a future with some young sidepiece. (Ideally he’d be broadminded enough to let you have some fun on the side as well).

You’ll be the strong and mature partner he looks forward to spending quality time with once he’s had his fill of listening to young person problems and attitude on his stray nights.

I know your post was half satirical lens flip but there’s clearly genuine concern in it as well. This is, by the way, the only kind of marriage I’m personally open to pursuing, bc i know myself well enough to know anything else is a waste of my own time and that of someone I’d love.

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Eastuss · 2018-10-15T07:56:49+00:00

I get this is a satire of the previous post, and it is a legitimate claim because "I can love you and you can't love me" is a common hypocritical bullshit in here given from the two sides. However, men aren't polygamous, they're polysexual.

There are lot of men out there who start off very emotional about relationships, but eventually it get crushed down, finding a female partner is complex enough that in order to do it you have to be emotionless. But will a relationship with these young men work? Likely no. Unconditional love simply doesn't work in real life.

Notarealfanofpickles · 2018-10-15T12:42:22+00:00

This shit belongs on the incel subreddit.

dicklord_airplane · 2018-10-16T17:47:46+00:00

I'd say that you're attracted to players and that you need to try dating other types of people. if you're only attracted to players, then you might need serious psychological training to undo all those dysfunctional cycles of thought. it's totally irrational to believe that every member of the opposite sex is shitty just because a few of them are. open your eyes and pay attention to all the other people you never considered before. you'll probably find that there are amazing, nice people all around you, but you never noticed because they're boring and you were always focused on the excitement of dealing with hot flakey assholes.

Anyway, that's what i had to admit to myself a long time ago. I have a thing for nasty bipolar women, and it caused me a lot of trouble in the past. I've been beaten and sent to jail by exes, and i had to take some responsibility for my part in allowing it to happen. instead of thinking, "all women are terrible", i realized that i needed to make better choices about who i date and stop letting crazy women into my life. It worked like magic! as soon as I became personally accountable for who i associate with, i suddenly stopped having such bad experiences in sex and relationships.

Don't be Captain Save-a-Hoe! Don't get into a relationship with an intention to change someone or "save" a person from themselves. You will be disappointed. Instead, date people who you don't need to change. You may need to fix self esteem issues before you feel worthy of being with someone who treats you well, though.

EL_Miore · 2018-10-16T03:43:06+00:00

What the fuck.. haha. Your problem and everyone else's is that y'all have this "falling" in love notion when love is something that should be "risen" into.

Brickles09 · 2018-10-14T18:25:27+00:00

The left can’t meme, try harder.

sadomasochrist · 2018-10-14T18:04:17+00:00

How do you open yourself up to a person that you KNOW will stop loving you WHEN you eventually lose your youth?

By offering him young women so that he continues to put you on the pedestal.

hammerhaunts · 2018-10-14T18:10:20+00:00

Pot, meet kettle

nihilistic_spaghetti · 2018-10-14T18:24:58+00:00

at least make sure he is attractive so at least sex would be good

Title	How to love a polygamous man?
Author	Freethetreees
Upvotes	27
Comments	200
Date	October 14, 2018 5:45 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9o4phx/how_to_love_a_polygamous_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-to-love-a-polygamous-man.259461 https://theredarchive.com/post/259461

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