How did so many boys / men end up putting women on a pedestal?

Freethetreees · 2018-03-26T18:44:28+00:00

People usually put individuals they are attracted to on a pedestal. Since men are attracted to most women- this makes perfect sense to me.

blackedoutfast · 2018-03-26T18:54:13+00:00

really? well as soon as puberty starts, girls become the #1 preoccupation in every boy's life due to all the hormones. meanwhile, the girls (who have much more developed social skills) are exploring how to use their sexuality to attract and influence men. meanwhile, all of your male friends (who are equally obsessed with women) are tying to be white knights for these girls. meanwhile, your parents are telling you that you absolutely must be a nice, polite, chivalrous, perfect gentleman to all these girls. meanwhile, society and culture is trying to quickly undo thousands of years of misogynistic patriarchal oppression of women by constantly blasting young men with the message that women are special and powerful and absolutely must be respected no matter what.

BirdManBrrrr · 2018-03-26T18:12:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DarkLord0chinChin · 2018-03-26T18:07:34+00:00

Women are wonderful natural bias.

Have you ever tried being mean to a girl? If she's cute it's really hard to not be too nice to her.

cxj · 2018-03-26T17:57:48+00:00

Women cheat just as much as men , women are just as superficial as men , women can manipulate just like men.

If you surround yourself with men of repute you might find women do this much much more than the company you keep. Your "nice" girl down the street can end up being more manipulative, backstabbing, and nasty to men she considers beneath her than deranged criminals

It's like they didn't realize women are people.

Kids have a lot of dumb ideas about the world like overly optimistic outlook about other people. Think of it as a delayed adolescence of sorts. You get sheltered from a lot growing up in an MC/UMC environment and the higher end of the education systen. A big part of TRP is knocking men off a pedestal too. There's no bro code or anything and everyone is trying to snatch up your girl as soon as they smell blood in the water. If you can't beat em playing "fair" beat em at their own game. Cause fuck it I'm not ending up in the cuck loser box in the prisoners dilemma

analt223 · 2018-03-26T18:04:05+00:00

It really ramped up when social media culture took off in the mid 00s, mainly because women have more access to attention just by making a profile

VermiciousKnidzz · 2018-03-26T20:08:49+00:00

internalized misogyny.

we are inundated with media and advertisements that say "you arent valuable unless women accept and like you, achieve this by buying our product!"

we watch Pokemon and see Gary and learn that success = surrounded by women. every high school drama shows the jocks/ bad boys as womanizers who are desired. we hope we can find our own Mary Jane Watson or Marla Singer who'll put up with any bullshit, love us unconditionally, and automatically see how great we are.

look at incels. they literally think they're worthless because they can't land girlfriends.

honestly i think men are given fucked up messages about our value and feel desperate for female attention to make ourselves feel valuable. most men arent walking around desperate for success but the feeling of desperation for a perfect girlfriend is everywhere

ganso_bum · 2018-03-26T18:17:32+00:00

Gynocentric mainstream media/entertainment combined with a lack of a flow of information. Before the internet, if you were gonna get redpilled, it was either by someone you knew or something that happened to you. Go back a few generations, and it becomes extremely rude to even talk about such things, nevermind get redpilled at all.

Now all it takes is a basic, easy google search to find shitty things about women.

Rolando_Mierka · 2018-03-26T19:40:52+00:00

Lack of an abundance mentality. I was guilty of it myself so I know first hand.

If you think of your relationships and potential relationships with women you're attracted to as something scarce and irreplaceable, you're going to put any woman you're attracted to on a pedestal.

daveofmars · 2018-03-26T22:40:10+00:00

If Freud/Jung are to be believed, even in the slightest, then the first exposure a boy gets to girls/women is through his mother. The boy doesn't see the mother for what she actually is - a flesh and blood human being - but the idolized feminine, because her powers as an adult and as a woman imprint on a newborn as a kind of god. The idolized feminine stays with every young man, which is then projected onto every girl/woman they come across. Maturity and experience tend to kill the idolized feminine, but since we're far less mature than our fathers, who are far less mature than our grandfathers, it isn't such a surprise that men have unrealistic expectations.

SadDoggo45 · 2018-03-27T08:21:08+00:00

I was a white knight up untill 16,17 years old. Few things here:

Older sister: My parents tried to have a kid for a long time, and then they got my sister. They pampered her to shit and I just happened
Narcisistic mother: my mother is very easily annoyed and offended (eg. I mentioned that soup she made wasn't salty enough and she got pissed and yelled that no one in the house appreciates the work she does). She wore pants in our house (dad is very passive) and always favorized sister. E.G. My sister wants to borrow my laptop and I don't want to give it to her, mom would come and say something along the lines "Wow, SadDoggo how are you treating your sister? If you treat your sister that way no woman will want you."; but if I wanted help from sister or to borrow something, I would again hear from mom "come on SadDoggo, she is a girl, don't bother her"
My dad is a wus: my dad is very passive around house. Actually I am amazed at how he found any girl. Except the basketball he likes to watch, and occasionally play, if it contains any bit of excitement - my father hasn't done it. That includes: driving faster than limit, getting drunk, getting in fights and similar things. He mostly handles the bills, takes dog for a walk and watches basketball.
Movies: every frigging movie women are swooning for the good guy. Think Something like Step Up, Titanic, Pretty Woman, etc. - women like the nice guy and leave the cheating bastard. It makes sense that if they like the movie and like the man from the movie then they would have the same preferences in the real life.
Generally conservative Christian family: i think that only time I saw my parents miss was on their 25th anniversary, I never had birds and bees talk, and sex was generally taboo. I always thought that those were dirty topics and you shouldn't outright talk to anyone about that, let alone to girls.

That comes out of top of my head. When you live in a bubble, it's easy to end up delusional.

Eventually I stumbled upon PUA and the book "Venusian Artist" by Mystery Method. It didn't make me an amazing womanizer or anything, but it showed me that my White Knight ideas were wrong.

That's why I support TRP. They may be wrong about some stuff, but they offer a perspective that for some of us doesn't come naturally.

belletaco · 2018-03-26T18:11:48+00:00

Yes, women are people and people are imperfect. A lot of core feminist values are designed to take women off the pedestal. Basically, don't expect a perfect wife, mother and homemaker because we aren't perfect and some of us aren't interested in being it, anyway.

It is unfortunate young boys grow up thinking women need to be treated with kid gloves because it is detrimental to everyone. Same thing goes for young girls who's fathers tell them they will beat up any guy who tries to take her on a date. Why teach your daughter that? I'm forever appreciative that my parents raised my brothers and I completely equal.

concacanca · 2018-03-26T18:28:32+00:00

Just had chivalry drilled into me from a young age. It takes a long time to unlearn things that are so central to your upbringing.

Also, no sisters so I didn't get to see things from that angle.

abaxeron · 2018-03-26T19:10:33+00:00

Oh, it's like looking back at the last couple hundred years of history and asking ourselves "Damn, where have we screwed up?!"

The answer being, of course, everywhere.

Was it when we created conditions in which it is almost impossible for men to work in schools? - Yes. Was it when we overburdened men with taxes to the point when women started dumping our poor asses and we lost the ability to bond with our kids and teach them our wisdoms? - Yes. Was it when ideologically infested editorials on both sides of the political spectrum started deliberately ignoring stories of women who committed atrocities? - Yes. Was it when political lobby of minarchism dissolved into nothing under pressure of left-leaning female majority of voters? - Yes.

You're trying to point out a problem while staying in a field of blossoming problems. It doesn't matter which seed sprouted first. It doesn't matter which stem is higher.

So, the shortest response I can come up with - is:

Men end up putting women on a pedestal - because up until the moment they graduate from college, they are blinded and sheltered from any evidence to the contrary.

2018-03-26T20:00:42+00:00

It’s forbidden fruit. Girls are really good at putting themselves on this pedestal. Once they realize they can put up this facade around certain guys and they worship her, it’s a no brainer.

Also, guys don’t have the same access to the opposite sex as girls do. The sexual frustration in men is much great than women. Women have the ability to cope with sexual urges much better.

It’s a fight or flight response to women’s affection. We are afraid if we “fly away” and take her off the pedestal, then we will lose our chance to reproduce with this “perfect girl”. Instead we choose to “fight” for what we believe is a noble cause. Hence the term white knights, who have their guard up all the time in these discussions.

neomancr · 2018-03-26T18:20:24+00:00

A form of it is misunderstanding social media. Everyone always posts their most glamorous moments. Some do it way more strategically than others.

wtknight · 2018-03-26T18:20:58+00:00

When I was teenager I certainly didn't worship every woman, and there were some I didn't like much at all. However, I did think that the ones that I was interested in were absolutely angelic and faultless. I think that this is how it is with most boys and young men growing up. Most guys aren't attracted to every woman, but for the ones they are attracted to, they tend to overlook their flaws because they want that combination of fairy tale love and awesome sex so much.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-03-26T18:34:24+00:00

Many men idolize or idealize women. These men tend to assume if something is going badly, it’s because society itself failed them in some way and that the woman herself had nothing to do with it. I've found lots of left-leaning people carry this bigotry of low expectations. A woman couldn't possibly do harm carries the assumption that she isn't capable of doing harm solely for the fact that she is a woman.

Society seems to reinforce this bigotry of low expectations and contemporary feminists further perpetuate it. Article after article about female empowerment carries the assumption that women are weak in direct comparison to men.

2018-03-26T19:48:37+00:00

They live for nothing else but their biological reproductive system.

GridReXX · 2018-03-26T22:01:42+00:00

We’re pretty and dainty compared to them?

So the prettier and daintiest of us inspire in men a “protector” effect.

Aerosmith’s “Crazy” video with Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstone is the perfect example of the “halo effect” ethereally pretty women experience.

Or Rihanna looking like magic applying her new makeup liquid body glitter and every man and woman on Instagram and Twitter going 😍. Women like this can literally do nothing and live their best lives simply because they provide value by being beautiful. That is the pedestal.

That’s the most plain thing I can think of.

Men of high repute get regarded as “Kings.” Kings are revered.

Women of high repute tend to be regarded as “Goddesses.” Goddesses are worshipped.

SergantCat296 · 2018-03-26T23:09:09+00:00

TRP and most men know that women are flawed just as much as men are.

Putting sb on a pedestral and oneitis is used in another context, you can't help but feel overly attracted to her looks and femininity maybe or even because she is immoral or dishonest.

rainisthelife · 2018-03-27T00:42:10+00:00

All true.

I think the resentment that men have, that women aren’t perfect little saints that forgive and forget and are steadfast even while going through mistreatment, is just weird at this point.

The reason women took a lot of shit from men is because they had no choice. The reason she stayed home, faithful and took care of the children, while the man went out and cheated (and brought back God knows what STD) is because the social repercussions for doing otherwise were too grave. And the reason she stayed in an abusive marriage is because it was even more shameful to leave. Women weren’t blindingly loyal because they wanted to, it’s because society told her that she had to be.

I was reading some blog the other day, and the author said something to the effect of “its so sad that we can’t hold our wives down and force them to have sex with us or give us oral sex because the legal system and feminism would be against it now.” No joke. I know feminism gets a bad rap these days, but Jesus Christ am I glad that it exists.

BewareTheOldMan · 2018-03-27T01:24:00+00:00

-Blue Pill Conditioning

-Disney Conditioning

-White Knight Syndrome

-Female Imperative and Feminist Narrative

-Society's Lies...women's magazines, articles, newspapers, social media, television, movies, et.al.

Men have their issues as well, but the narrative on women runs contrary to modern reality.

2018-03-27T04:03:45+00:00

Sex drive, I think, most important factor responsible for men putting women on pedestal. That's assuming a guy is an adult of course, for little boys, it is social conditioning like "don't hit girls".

2018-03-27T05:07:54+00:00

if you really want to know, read Jung, he was on to something on that end.

Or take up wikipedia, search anima or animus. Learning about archetypes can also enlighten the situation a bit - maybe not absolute truths, but imo pretty good ideas.

mgtow_1 · 2018-03-27T06:32:07+00:00

For me it was religion. I was told my entire life that women were holier, closer to god, and more righteous.

Eartherry · 2018-03-27T06:44:32+00:00

Men's sex drive is so strong, about 10 times stronger than the average women's sex drive. Women often can't wrap their heads around the fact that men need sex because we're content to go without. Our lack of sex drive is interpreted by men as a number of things; a way to manipulate, disinterest is sex altogether, a precious resource being hoarded for nefarious purposes, etc.

We can explain our built-in lack of need until we're blue in the face. Their drive is too strong to be reconciled with. If thoughts of our humanity interfere with satisfying that drive they're almost compelled to ignore them.

Entropy-7 · 2018-03-27T08:13:31+00:00

Most guys are taught from a young age to "be a gentleman" and in many cases that means treating women better than you would treat other guys in the same situation.

BiggerDthanYou · 2018-03-27T11:21:40+00:00

According to psychological research this is primarily true for men with an anxious attachment style.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201304/what-makes-man-great-romantic-partner

Anxiously attached people are afraid that they will be left uncared for, and therefore are more likely to be the needy ones in an adult relationship. People who have an avoidant attachment style express their insecurity by distancing themselves from others and never getting emotionally close to their partners.

In the first place, they found, as they predicted, that the anxiously attached men would be the ambivalent sexists, expressing endorsement of benevolent sexism (i.e. women should be placed on a pedestal). The avoidant men expressed their sexism in overtly hostile ways (i.e. women are manipulative and malevolent).

The situation is more complicated for anxiously attached men. Their beliefs that they can’t live without intimate partners, who are central to their identity, lead them to become the heavy duty romantics in the relationship world. Unfortunately, however, they express their feelings by- you guessed it- putting their women up on that pedestal of benevolent sexism.

To sum it up, Hart and his fellow researchers have shown us that men who feel that they must compensate for being psychologically vulnerable are the ones most likely to adopt “isms” of various types, including sexism.

The same is also true for women.

An anxious attachment style correlates with ambivalent sexism.

despisedlove2 · 2018-03-27T14:37:41+00:00

Human societies are traditionally gynocentric and consider men disposable. Compromise between male and female imperatives led to traditional marriage. Modern feminist legal systems take that gynocentrism to an industrial scale and have ended the compromise.

2018-03-27T18:19:15+00:00

Way too many. I mean, I like people, but the heck, stop being so benevolently sexist!

S1imdragxn · 2018-03-27T23:11:29+00:00

I think women were actually more chaste overall back in the gap

More so than now

I base this on the fact that women are enthusiastic followers of social order in general, if it’s what the herd is doing they wanna do it too, they prob competed at it to an extent who could remain pure for longer

If sex is brought low to animal levels like in modernity that’s what women will happily do

darksoldierk · 2018-03-28T01:46:30+00:00

Just think about our society for a minute, we have mothers day, international woman's day and valentines day. All three of these (again, just using them as examples) are gynocentric. I remember in school, for all three of those, we were forced to make cards to our female peers for Valantine, and to present it to them in arts class. We would write essays about what love means to us in english, and I particularly remember this one teacher in grade 8 that failed most of the boys for their essays, and singling out one boy who wrote that to him, love is about being committed to a best friend. She explained to the whole class that marriage isn't about friendship, it's about duty and that for men, it's their job to treat women like queens. And no, this wasn't in the 60's or 70's, this was in 2003, and it wasn't taught by a woman in her 60's or 70's, I would estimate her age at late 20's at the time.

For mother's day, we would do cards/gifts/write essays as well. Yet, often ,father's day would go with a simple "remember to wish you dad a "happy father's day"" at the end of the school day.

Think about music. I particularly remember a song called "everybody knows" by Leanord Cohan where in one verse he says "everybody got this broken feeling, like their father or their dog just died". I'm sorry, but comparing the loss of a father to the loss of a dog just shows how little fatherhood is valued in by the writer. In many famous songs, you can find writers who discuss how wise and wonderful their mothers are, yet I'd be surprised if you can name me 5 songs that show how wonderful fathers are.

How long have we been bombarded with breast cancer funding commercials reminding us of how wonderful women are, yet has anyone seen a prostate cancer commercial showing how wonderful men are?

As boys, our parents teach us to protect our sisters, our teachers teach us to look out for our fellow female classmates (mostly taught in the gender segregated "sex ed" class).

In my part of the world, our government decided to spend our tax dollars to make advertisements about how it's men's jobs to protect women. Hell, even in business, schools are now teaching people that being risk averse and emotionally intelligent is BETTER than anything else. These are female traits, and the truth is that, being risk averse specifically isn't better especially when it comes to business ownership or investing. Yet, we are told these things.

Look at our media, our movies, our games. Most movies with female protagonists have male antagonists. In most movies, it isn't women who are doing the killing of good people, or the torture, it's men.

Now lets look at how men are portrayed in our society. Incompetent and worthless fathers and husbands. Potential rapists and pedophiles. People's whose very nature is violent and "toxic". As opposed to advertisements showing how wonderful men are, we see advertisements of men drugging and raping women. When was the last time you saw an anti-sexual harrassment banner with the woman being the aggressor? So, men are antagonized in our society.

All of these work together, they brainwash us into thinking that women are good and men are bad. That men are disposable, and women are invaluable. For lack of a better term, that "women and children ARE first". Boys have a hard time rationalizing this mentality. Every person and every thing that they know (media, teachers etc) are telling them that women are wonderful, but they just can't understand why women are portrayed in this way so they default to "well, it MUST be because women are naturally BETTER.". "Better than what" they ask themselves, and the obvious and only answer is "men". So, "wonderful" turned to "better".

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prodigy2throw · 2018-03-26T19:41:41+00:00

Poor/ absent father figures to teach men that these hoes ain’t shit.

2018-03-26T22:18:33+00:00

Because when sex doesn't come easily to a boy he attemps to understand why this is. The most readily available explanation is, well there are actually 2 :

Love - to have a relationship with women will be based upon a fairly tail/hollywood story where a special bond is formed with one special woman
Other men dont' respkt wimmen. wimmens want to be respkt. and add on to this other feminist brainwashing

newName543456 · 2018-03-26T22:30:34+00:00

Mainstream media indoctrination + lack of appropriate role models to set them straight.

Willow-girl · 2018-03-27T03:37:16+00:00

We're just so awesome! lol

vandaalen · 2018-03-27T11:20:48+00:00

How did so many end up regarding diamonds as something precious?

762Rifleman · 2018-03-28T04:04:48+00:00

It's so we can see up her skirt.

PM-ME-YOUR-STOMACH · 2018-03-31T01:30:08+00:00

All this “blue pill” stuff you see growing up. Buying girls flowers. Chivalry in general. I can say my mom is huge on traditional gender roles. She told me if a woman wants to take care of me and I let her, then I’m not a real man. Maybe it’s just how things used to be and men could buy flowers for women they liked and it would be seen as a nice gesture.

Nowadays it’s way different, you ever seen that twitter post where the dudes standing there with gifts and stuff and the girl he’s giving them to is laughing? Like people were around them and they thought it was a joke and just laughed in the guys face. I’m guessing that’s why so many kids parents told them that stuff because maybe it was different back then 🤷🏽‍♂️.

circlingldn · 2018-04-18T14:52:05+00:00

lack of contact outside of school and work

Title	How did so many boys / men end up putting women on a pedestal?
Author	NoComment70
Upvotes	39
Comments	152
Date	March 26, 2018 5:49 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/87b3xk/how_did_so_many_boys_men_end_up_putting_women_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-did-so-many-boys-men-end-up-putting-women-on-a.263101 https://theredarchive.com/post/263101

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