Q4ALL- What do you think is your biggest red flag to prospective partners?

goatismycopilot · 2019-10-06T23:32:41+00:00

Hmmmmmmmm. Where to start. Well I have a dog. PPD men seem to not like animals.

Willow-girl · 2019-10-07T00:09:18+00:00

Four divorces? My man's a brave SOB!

[deleted] · 2019-10-06T23:57:07+00:00

I need a man to support me and I have OCD.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2019-10-07T00:09:24+00:00

I need a lot of attention from a woman, and am a bit much on attention maintenance. I need a woman who's a bit talkative and touchy feely, and we're probably fine.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-10-07T01:15:43+00:00

I have bipolar, ADHD, and Crohn's disease.

buartha · 2019-10-07T04:20:45+00:00

PTSD and depression, but it doesn't really matter because I already have a husband so I can have as many red flags as I like now 🚩

AnarchoNAP · 2019-10-06T23:32:43+00:00

Student loan debt- severely impacts financial future. Weight- suggests lack of self control. Education level despite wanting a family (that I now have)- displays lack of planning.

NalkaNalka · 2019-10-06T23:46:52+00:00

I'm unsuitable for domesticity.

reluctantly_red · 2019-10-07T00:23:17+00:00

Has been an adult for years but has never lived on her own supporting herself. A woman who has always had a guy subsidizing her life is a woman to be avoided.

day7a1 · 2019-10-07T00:36:36+00:00

I don't know what it is, but apparently I put off a "player" vibe. First time I heard it, I thought it was a joke, but they were serious and I've heard it several times since. Not sure what it is, or was. I kinda have some suspicions, but who knows. When I was younger I kinda went with it I guess, but probably pushed away a lot of women that I would have liked to get to know more (or that's why they were with me in the first place).

I'm a bit concerned as I'm a bit too old to be pulling that shit off now.

jax006 · 2019-10-07T01:36:02+00:00

25 without any past LTRs

Thankfully they've usually got the feels by the time that comes up in conversation so it hasnt been a big issue

churnthrowaway123456 · 2019-10-06T23:32:13+00:00

Never had a relationship more than a couple months.

poppy_blu · 2019-10-06T23:32:26+00:00

I have a strong personality and I like my independence. That turns some men off. I don’t hide it because I realized at pretty young age that doing so screens out weak controlling dudes. So it’s worked out for me.

Now if I’d been born a generation later I’d be fucked because no offense the millennial generation is severely lacking in strong men with conviction.

BrokenHaloUseToShine · 2019-10-07T00:14:03+00:00

When I like someone I tell them. No games. Some think it is fake but it is not. Others like to chase and that is not me either.

CaptDeadlift · 2019-10-07T03:50:48+00:00

My really tight schedule.

I currently lead my own company , work out frequently and study uni full time.

Leaving me with 1-2 days free each week.

Currently my SO puts up with it well.

My frugal tendencies even though I can afford most stuff (not high end cars like mclarens but someday I will be there and still not buy as I am a JDM lover)

CatchPhraze · 2019-10-07T04:51:47+00:00

I'm a fucking horrible flake. Want me at six? Sure I'll be there after thus one thing I mentioned last minute and then the several other things I neglected to mention.

I hate it but I get sidetracked so easily and I have such a hard time being honest with my time frame

Maybelowsmv · 2019-10-07T05:14:58+00:00

My need for communication and my anxiety over stuff

webernicke · 2019-10-07T07:23:17+00:00

I'm kind of a weakling scatterbrained fuckup. Screws with the whole "stoic, has everything under control" vibe that women seem to go for.

People can list off their positive qualities all day like long, but what about you might turn someone off?

Noooo, disagree. We just recently had a very long thread on "what's wrong with you" and it was lit up in there. Maybe you're a high-confidence person but IME most people kind of struggle to list positives.

Hennythepainaway · 2019-10-07T10:15:34+00:00

I think we should bring disco back

QueenCousland86 · 2019-10-07T16:07:35+00:00

I'm probably a lower case n narcissist. I do have empathy, I like to help others, I can be VERY giving and generous in relationships. But I'm the star of the show. Guys who are the star of the show in their own lives like this about me, cause I'm not going to be bored and hopeless without them, we have things to talk about, I'm fun. But I'm also very impulsive, independent and stubborn to a fault, and until I feel comfortable with someone, I can seem very... self obsessed? Works wonders for making people interested in me in terms of social networking, I'm very creative and "out there", always busy (I offer 24/7 tarot and natal chart consultation as well as general advice, my phone is ALWAYS fucking buzzing and it's difficult for me to pull myself away). Due to what I do for a living, I have to maintain a degree of transparency about my own problems. There's not a lot of room for "mystery".

tldr: On the inside I can be very calm and down to earth, but on the outside I look like an impulsive egomaniac. If I were a guy, I'd be confused and slightly intrigued by myself.

wtknight · 2019-10-06T23:41:00+00:00

I can't really talk in person to women whom I don't already know. It's a pretty big red flag.

gunbusterxl · 2019-10-07T01:23:02+00:00

I'm pretty judgmental, and judge everyone I encounter. I've learned to not say most of it out loud, but I'm sure prospective partners can read it in my body language.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2019-10-07T02:54:02+00:00

Addict

phlegmdawg · 2019-10-07T07:21:58+00:00

My Childfree lifestyle. People who aren’t like-minded have some crazy assumptions about those that don’t want kids.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-10-07T16:58:40+00:00

I always advertise myself as a red flag so that only the most committed and dedicated stick (plus i can always have a good reason if it doesnt work out well)

SpinachIsYummy · 2019-10-06T23:54:44+00:00

A history of non self defense related violence

finch2200 · 2019-10-07T00:45:28+00:00

I live a very sedentary life style which I’ve heard is a turn off for women.

Texastentialism · 2019-10-07T01:07:04+00:00

I'm not a very warm or bubbly person, especially around people I don't know well, so I can come off as a bitch initially.

I'm also quite clingy.

Also I guess the fact that I was always very serious about marriage and kids and finding a husband would be a red flag for a certain kind of dude.

Tomatoccino · 2019-10-07T01:34:18+00:00

I’m a single mother with eight children.

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[deleted] · 2019-10-06T23:39:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

QueenCousland86 · 2019-10-06T23:43:10+00:00

I'm very emotionally stormy. I would've assumed that women who are emotionally volatile as well would be like "we the same no prob",

but what I've actually found almost without exception is that the less attractive a woman is, the more tolerant she will be of it, regardless of her own emotional volatility.

wasabisumo · 2019-10-07T01:15:31+00:00

A man that is not ambitious with his life or has unrealistic goals like becoming a male model or a entrepreneur or something like that.

Ofourkind · 2019-10-07T03:53:12+00:00

Probably my regular long periods of isolation from humanity

CMOAN_MAYNE · 2019-10-07T04:11:57+00:00

Probably drink too much

erman88 · 2019-10-07T04:23:44+00:00

Too many of those generic posing, sexy Instagram photos, if your hobbies are taking photos of yourself you're probably boring as fuck.

Grek27 · 2019-10-07T05:08:08+00:00

I don't know, considering mainstream women have a laundry list of negative traits they champion it's hard to tell.

I guess in my case I would rather ride my motorcycle, read or play videogames then go to a bar or talk.

I also don't drink, consume drugs or go to clubs. And I really don't give a shit about modern culture.

Seroriman · 2019-10-07T07:18:41+00:00

Career is still somewhat shaky and not established despite my age, lots of start-stop stuff in my CV.

_Relaxed · 2019-10-07T08:14:38+00:00

My personality in general isnt people focused. I focus more on doing things. Sometimes I think I forget to give women personal attention and instead direct all my attention to whatever we are doing or planning to do.

J_Milton_Jr · 2019-10-07T08:24:10+00:00

Anger management problems ... but it gets better and better... self-control is the key

[deleted] · 2019-10-07T08:36:08+00:00

I'm ENTJ in mbti if that means anything to anyone, so I'm not psychologically very feminine. I'm not super emotional, am independent, and work too much on projects (currently full-time and studying part-time). I'm not clingy at all, don't get jealous, and am overall dominant. A lot of men say that they like this but I think a lot men actually just feel emasculated or eventually get competitive.

Compared to most women, I'm wildly curious in an ADHD way, with a wide range of hobbies and interests that also conflict with each other in a way that can be a turn-off. I love techno and drugs, am also into health and fitness, but also have a successful career and work hard, and so many of the facets of my life can be unattractive to people who seem to be "specialists" in one area of their life; the health/spiritual nuts don't want a woman who parties or does drugs, the party people don't want a career woman, and the career people are total squares. 3/4 of my LTR's were me breaking up with the guy because there was a huge part of my personality that I wasn't able to express and our lifestyles just not matching.

tgertcher · 2019-10-07T09:02:16+00:00

Never having had a gf and my inferiority complex. I'm pretty good with my family, I can be a pretty loving guy but on the rare occasion I do trick some girl into liking me I get worried about her leaving, not actually liking me, or cheating, although I've trained myself not to outwardly display any of that. I'm also quite shy and afraid of showing interest. I can ask a girl out fine, but subtle signs of interest are hard.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-10-07T10:13:52+00:00

I have a million. I get bored and wanderlusty, I used to be a sex worker, I'm trans, I don't do monogamy, I'm allergic to being responsible for other people's emotional wellbeing ect.

brokegradstudent_93 · 2019-10-07T12:54:52+00:00

I come from an alcoholic/addict family and have anxiety and depression because of it. I will say I got out and am living a great life. I don’t have bad issues with substances but I do take long breaks if I ever feel like I’m getting reliant on them. My alcoholic mom was emotionally abusive and I have a hard time truly trusting and when I’m in panic mode it’s pretty easy to pick up on

azngirl7689 · 2019-10-07T13:12:51+00:00

I won’t live together before marriage. I know people care about that but I’m not doing that again.

baginbox · 2019-10-07T13:14:55+00:00

Long list of ex-boyfriends and high n count, gets emotionally attached -> becomes clingy, like to party a bit too hard sometimes, I speak my mind a bit too freely at times, etc.

Throwaw4y343 · 2019-10-07T18:23:21+00:00

Well I've got mild aspergers. I've been told by the guys I've dated that they don't care and we've gotten along great, but I get why someone wouldn't want to be with someone who has a mental abnormality that slows them down in social situations.

cxj · 2019-10-07T19:18:07+00:00

Talk to myself sometimes, have no filter, am generally eccentric and disagreeable. I think these are what women generally notice and weed me out for

hshsvdhsiabs · 2019-10-08T02:54:47+00:00

I have social anxiety so I guess all the fun that comes with that. Taking a while to know me, It will be painfully slow for me to open up to your friends and family, I stay in a lot. Im good with dealing with it by myself and not taking my insecurities out on others though but I know it’s got to get annoying.

goneaway2thewind · 2019-10-08T15:44:36+00:00

I think my biggest red flag is that I've never been in a LTR so that can be interpreted as I'm incapable of having one

TrueReligionGenes · 2019-10-07T15:40:18+00:00

My maxilla, mandible, and gonial angle

Title	Q4ALL- What do you think is your biggest red flag to prospective partners?
Author	QueenCousland86
Upvotes	12
Comments	161
Date	October 6, 2019 11:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/deb7rd/q4all_what_do_you_think_is_your_biggest_red_flag/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-what-do-you-think-is-your-biggest-red-flag.289115 https://theredarchive.com/post/289115

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