Women of PPD who are against porn, what is your stance on media that are voluntary like Onlyfans or not real like hentai or hentai mangas?

CHOLO_ORACLE · 2020-08-11T13:52:39+00:00

I stopped watching porn about a year ago because of the possibility that some of the women/girls are abused. I used hentai as a replacement.

It was too much hard work to find something half decent amongst all the shit content that I just gave up.

No I just use my imagination and that works well.

ldonnawho · 2020-08-11T14:18:12+00:00

I actually wouldn't date someone that watches porn in a relationship. I think it's disrespectful and completely unnecessary, same thing for other forms of porn such as OnlyFans (I think that's even more pathetic imo).

whichbladeN · 2020-08-11T13:54:43+00:00

For my brief time browsing Gender Critical, they were convinced that no woman should have to resort to selling her body to make money.

As far as hentai. Sometimes their portrayals of women can come across as childlike. And a lot of times they seem to have the female act as if she doesn't want it. It's weird. There's also a lot of straight up rape in hentai.

They also said porn made most men sick. Made their expectations of women unrealistic.

Which is probably true for some men.

I mean think about how popular anal has become.

neualgae · 2020-08-11T13:56:12+00:00

I see a couple of problems with porn:

Abuse of actual women in porn. Obviously hentai doesn't have this problem. From stories I've read, some of the girls on OnlyFans aren't exactly treated well by their customers, but of course that's much milder than women being literally trafficked and raped.
Normalization of violence and degradation of women as a part of sex. Not as much of an issue with OnlyFans, although I'm sure they get some degrading requests from their fans. Hentai definitely takes this even further than regular porn sometimes - check out something like (NSFW and NSFL!!!) /r/guro.
Sexual desensitization for men. This is a minor concern compared to the other two but I think it's worth talking about. All forms of porn have this problem. I've also read a lot of nofap-type men say that they started viewing women more as people after they stopped watching porn. This makes me err towards thinking that men should at least limit their use of porn and not use it every single time they masturbate.
The "ick" factor. No woman wants to think about a man she's with using any sort of porn. Not saying that this is a good reason, but if you think the ick factor against high n-counts in women is a valid argument, it's only fair to take the other side into account.

So I'm not really in favor of any of them, unless there's hentai that just shows normal sex where the woman is respected as a person and the guy can moderate his use of it. But I think some are worse than others - watching a rape porn video with a questionable source where the girl is probably underage is obviously way worse than buying some vanilla nudes or looking at naked anime girls.

the_purring_jew · 2020-08-11T12:59:11+00:00

this is not the reason mens porn watching upsets women

poppy_blu · 2020-08-11T14:17:40+00:00

I've seen a lot of women complaining about men who watch porn

are they complaining about porn or complaining about men who watch too much porn?

2020-08-11T13:46:17+00:00

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wtknight · 2020-08-11T13:12:34+00:00

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katiesaysthings · 2020-08-11T14:31:19+00:00

I'm a streamer, so I have a kind of biased view of OnlyFans.

Every time I see another female streamer make an OnlyFans account, it just makes me really sad, especially when it's the low-mid tier streamers. I feel like these women are getting peer pressured into making them when sub counts run low, or to keep the competitive edge against all of the other attractive women in the market.

The majority of women who start OnlyFans aren't going to be able to sustain themselves on it. And maybe I'm old, but I don't see how it's particularly empowering to sell pictures of your vagina for the price of a cheeseburger and only wind up with a couple hundred dollars a month...if you're lucky. I would have to get paid a LOT more money to pretend to care about your dick. And unfortunately, that's what these women end up having to do. They keep getting pressured to do more and more, because what happens when they lose those subs?

I absolutely HATE being asked in my chat if I have an OnlyFans, and just as casually as you would ask somebody if they use Instagram. I hate that it's becoming a new norm for women. And it's not that I have anything against sex work, it's that I think OnlyFans in particular is going to swindle a lot of young and inexperienced women into making some incredibly huge mistakes. Porn stars know that their name will be attached to what they do. That's fine - more power to them. You can't convince me that the average Becky on the street is going to be able to handle the same.

With that said, times are changing. 18-22 year olds are insanely sex positive, and in the future there may be no real repercussions for having a history in sex work.

Mimoxs · 2020-08-11T16:32:43+00:00

I'm fine with and use hentai. It's a good alternative. I highly doubt they're trafficking voice actresses.

Onlyfans is fine too

0seagirl · 2020-08-11T14:06:50+00:00

Preface: I am former very successful, pro-sex work camgirl who left the industry voluntarily at the height of my success as a direct result of the trauma stemming from objectification and self-objectification. Those things, despite my success, were not conducive to my mental health in any way, and the industry I was a part of, I now believe, fuel the degradation and mistreatment of women and girls generally.

It is not necessarily that depictions of women in a sexual way are harmful in and of themselves, (I don't agree that they are), but OnlyFans, hentai, and IG, still make up the culture of the commodification and objectification of women, which is extremely harmful to us. It's important to note that the harms of this culture go beyond more overt harms such as trafficking and rape, etc, and can be complex and interwoven in other aspects of cultural expectations placed upon us simultaneously (i.e. the "cool girl", or "cool girlfriend" trope).

Specifically pertaining to hentai - many of the depictions of women are infantalizing, paedophillic, and depict women as squeaking, childlike nymphomaniacs which exist solely to pleasure men (concerningly often from what I've seen, with tears streaming down their cheeks). The more content like this men consume, the more it desensitizes them to the realities of women and sex.

edit: After reading some of the comments, I feel like I should touch briefly on the issue of female insecurity and jealousy. It's absolutely something I feel deserves to be taken more seriously and without denigration or shaming. Many women can feel insecure in the knowledge that their partner uses the bodies of people other than them for sexual stimulation, release, and satisfaction, and some do feel that it is cheating.

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wtknight · 2020-08-11T13:21:56+00:00

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spacechicken1990 · 2020-08-11T14:23:51+00:00

Only problem I have with men watching porn is is he has sexual dysfunctions because of it.

I love porn and watch it regularly, but I make sure to pay for it & consume "ethical" porn.

SaBahRub · 2020-08-11T14:38:20+00:00

It removes the largest ethical objection to porn, yes.

Probably won’t make sex better, however, but I’ll take it

tara_taboo · 2020-08-11T17:54:13+00:00

I’d rather have my partner watch real porn than hentai. The girls in hentai can often times look too childlike which is wrong is so many ways.

I would be very upset to find out my partner is watching abusive porn but would be very okay with him watching mainstream porn.

pandora_box- · 2020-08-11T19:08:50+00:00

Problem is it results in unrealistic expectations for me from him. Im happily married but back when I was dating I wouldn’t even date a man who followed lots of Instagram models. Admittedly, I’m attractive and religious so it was easier for me to be picky about that than the average woman.

Fudstersecured · 2020-08-11T22:11:29+00:00

The shivering truth is that if porn is more interesting than sex in relationship, you have bigger problems as a couple. Another scary truth is that most people will still be attracted to other people even when in a relationship.

Reisiluu · 2020-08-11T22:12:47+00:00

The big deal is that he gets strategic headaches and tiredness and I don't get dick. If the sex is good and abundant then idc about porn.

87AudreyHorne · 2020-08-12T06:17:19+00:00

I'm not thinking about human trafficking, I find it disrespectful to me

fileeditinstert · 2020-08-17T12:56:30+00:00

Chiming in from a female ex-porn addict. Prior to hub sites, I got into hentai comics and found still image galleries of said comics. The extremity of it was highly stimulating and I pretty well had female death grip. I preferred it to sex with my boyfriends for sure, porn cucked them big time.

It took years to quit. Then I fell hard for a guy who admitted to being super into porn. He had been a late bloomer sexually so was dependent on porn til late in college and then internet porn kicked what was already high gear perversion into extreme gear. So he had over a decade of a habit going. Fully aware this is a common experience but for some reason his honesty made me feel connected and safe. It was like kicking any drug then falling for another drug addict who doesn’t judge you for going into the depths of depravity with you. It’s a bond, however, you both like the drug better than each other and this is just due to habit and the immediate intense satisfaction the drug can provide by yourself.

We had hot, mutually objectifying but ultimately empty sex. I was doing all kinds of things to redirect my lust toward him, like throwing my vibrators away and sharing sexy videos with him so I could entice him into sex and build up that energy. He wasn’t doing the same. It fizzled out. No one can compete with porn, and I have a porn body and a young face, and a willingness to do anything with enthusiasm.

So where I’m at now is when we were done I quit almost completely. Maybe once a month when I’m premenstrual I’ll indulge in some normal porn. It’s enough and it works faster when you aren’t desensitized.

I can’t see myself in a relationship with a man who uses it casually like a snack whenever’s he hungry if my appetite is being neglected because I’d do the same for him. It’s entirely selfish but I can’t go through that again.

Hentai doesn’t do it for me anymore and it seems like it’s the heroin version of porn if vanilla porn is like weed. You have to be bored with the stimulation to crave the supernormal of cartoons to get off.

wtknight · 2020-08-11T13:48:41+00:00

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tritoneharmonies · 2020-08-11T14:34:42+00:00

Onlyfans is a massive shill for the porn industry and the content creators groom younger individuals into the business by portraying it like a unproblematic, quick way to earn cash. It's used to normalize the notion of women being worth something as people only as long as they're able to sell and market their naked body parts - it's just this "cruelty free option" for the porn industry, since this time the pornographers don't have to be there to humiliate their actors/actresses, because now they do it voluntarily to themselves. It's still sex trade, prostitution, just online. It also promotes toxic parasocial relationships, which harms men emotionally and financially.
Hentai is as harmful as regular porn is to the consumer, there's not much difference there. Plus, hentai generally seems to be a source for extremely bizarre fetish material, which also distances the viewer from reality and isolates them in the long run.
Neither hentai or onlyfans (and the like) have that many redeeming qualities compared to the traditional sex trade. They're just parts of the same soullessness and darkness.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-08-11T15:07:13+00:00

"Oh no they're going to hurt that poor woman" seems like virtue signalling BS to me, I never cared about that people are so extreme with that human traffick shit, who really cares about that IRL

If you let your man jerk his meat and pay for ho's on OnlyFans willingly you are a CuckQueen and would fair better making a couples OnlyFans yourself and bringing in some $$$

The real argument is he T levels go down & he becomes disgusting with an inability to cum, Hentai is for turbo losers

flamingoinghome · 2020-08-11T15:25:11+00:00

I have less issue with them, although hentai is often kind of gross and ridiculous (and/or rapey, which is its own problem). I also don't 100% trust how voluntary any porn work is unless I know the performer personally (I do have acquaintances who do sex work, and I know they're not trafficked or coerced).

Title	Women of PPD who are against porn, what is your stance on media that are voluntary like Onlyfans or not real like hentai or hentai mangas?
Author	fileeditinstert
Upvotes	14
Comments	191
Date	August 11, 2020 12:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/i7qoqo/women_of_ppd_who_are_against_porn_what_is_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-of-ppd-who-are-against-porn-what-is-your.58553 https://theredarchive.com/post/58553

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