Warning: this post can be triggering if you've experienced sexual assault.

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As you can see from my post history, I am not advocating for dating during this time. I have not been dating. I deleted my social media and OLD apps months ago. What transpired last weekend was completely unexpected, but I must share as a cautionary tale.

I've been in quarantine alone, and I occasionally see a neighbor next door. We are both very responsible, and we tell each other who we've had contact with.

We have the same dog walker. He seemed to be trustworthy. He's also been in quarantine alone. We all decided to have wine together one night last week. Then, separately, he asked me to have wine with just him last weekend. I was a bit hesitant because I'm not looking to date. I did not want it to be a date. My neighbor suggested otherwise. I was a bit uncomfortable to think it would be a date.

In hindsight, I should have said no to just the two of us hanging out. He came over to my place, we had some wine. We danced a little bit. Then, he kissed me. I was confused, but I didn't push him away. I also was very worried because I did not expect him to make a move so quickly. He seemed to be very shy, proper and polite. Yet there he was being completely aggressive while he grabbed my face and pushed me down my bed.

I was lost. I didn't know what to do. Here was someone who I thought I knew, but this aggressive side of him came out within seconds. I was scared he'd get violent with me. As I'm trying to make sense of what was happening, he got on top of me and penetrated me, unprotected.

The rest of the night was hazy as I tried to grapple with what happened. I didn't fight back like I thought I would if this situation ever occurred.

I guess in my mind, I thought my fighting back would be towards strangers. Not someone I thought I knew. Statistically, women get assaulted by men they know. It's rarely by a random stranger.

I am talking to a therapist to process what happened. I will be okay.

I wanted to share this story with you because of what he said. After it was all over, I told him it was aggressive, and I did not consent. He said "it must be the pandemic, I'm not myself, I'm sorry".

Ladies, I am sharing this story not to get sympathy. This happened to me, and I'm dealing with it. I am sharing this story to warn you of what men are becoming due to the lockdown of this pandemic.

Take my story along with this article: https://mashable.com/article/dating-app-meet-harassment-coronavirus-social-distance/

Do not date right now. Do not use your OLD. Keep yourself safe. Men are returning to their sexual primal state. They do not care about your well-being. They do not see you as a person. They see you as pussies. They do not care about consent. Do not let any man into your home even if you know them during this pandemic.

Once this pandemic is over, wait a bit. This primal state they're in will last a while. Do not put yourself in danger. Unfortunately, my story will not be an exception. I know there will be more stories like mine to surface over time.

Be careful. Stay in. Close off your sanctuary.