What was your biggest Pickmeisha moment?

azngirl7689 · 2020-01-24T12:37:21+00:00

I made my own birthday dinner reservations because he said I was better at it. It was a website. That you put info into. Facepalm at myself.

MidnightCarp · 2020-01-24T13:55:52+00:00

When I was 18, I felt that I was losing a boy I was seeing. So I mailed a hand-written letter to him. It included a drawing of the two of us inside and a copy of a fucking Shakespeare sonnet I ripped out of a poetry book. He pied me off about 2 weeks later and I am honestly not fucking surprised. I literally haven't stopped being embarrassed about it since.

edit: feel like i should mention that this was only a few years back. Facebook existed, and I still wrote a fucking letter.

yeontanw · 2020-01-24T13:53:55+00:00

I've accepted to be controlled by an ex. He didn't like me going out with my friends(during the mf day, not even clubs), wore only long dresses and loose clothing because I didn't look elegant in other stuff, convinced me to delete all of my social media photos where I was alone and stop posting photos because we should be private, made me argue with my parents over stupid stuff such as not buying a sofa so they would visit me less (because they didn't have somewhere to sleep), or not sleep in the same bed with my mother because he didn't like that.

I went to his house on most weekends, carried a hard backpack with my courses because I was a student, I would stay at his and sometimes study but he made me play games together, we would never do something I liked. Towards the end he was intimate with me only in a very degrading way such as making me do oral or from behind.

I would accept being called names just as a 'joke', he called me fat several times during our relationship and in different ways, then others such as c..nt, I would always start a fight when he did that, and he disrespected me in public as well. I accepted him not being affectionate because he said 'he didn't show love in that way'. Bullshit. I once looked at his phone and he was having a weird conversation with his cousin(a girl) he said he was testing her to see how she reacted. He said he told my cousin he cheated on me to see how she would react and if he could trust her.

Second: I paid for my uber to get to his place. We were casual, but still. I would accept not being messaged for hours, or a day late reply on the premise he was busy, or slept too much. He initiated the first like 2-3 meetings, then I was the only one who had to tell him to meet. I invited him on 'dates' as well. He refused the first 2 times because he liked spontaneity (sure), then one time we planned to meet on the weekend and he wasn't sure at which hour he would wake up because he was staying up late. He once made me send a long-ass reply only to get no answer to it, when five days later messaged me as that convo never existed, this happened multiple times.

Trocek · 2020-01-24T13:32:04+00:00

Kept messaging my ex with random excuses. 2years after breakup

fwe23rrs · 2020-01-24T16:50:46+00:00

I used to Uber myself over to this guy's place for sex basically. We NEVER went out. The sex was terrible. I was so frustrated with the situation and couldn't understand why he didn't want more! I'd suggest places for us to go out, I baked him cookies.. nothing from his end. One time after we had sex, he invited a friend to go workout with him and made me leave. This was after I came over from across town with his favorite coffee.

This makes me cringe so much but it was 4 years ago and I'll neveeer put myself in that position again.

snows23 · 2020-01-24T15:26:28+00:00

This was a few years ago, but I still cringe to think about it. I took back a cheater 🤦‍♀️ Then I stayed after I found out he was still seeing the same girl! Lesson learned, thank God. I'll never give anyone a second chance to disrespect me again.

rosapalmera · 2020-01-24T13:32:08+00:00

All those times I let my ex weasle his way back into my life. He wanted to marry me too. I said yes (despite our relationship being a complete shambles) and then later changed my mind. Shortly after that we broke up. When he found out I moved on, he found someone else within a month. 3 months later, they were married...

Lesson learned: sometimes marriage proposals are just a way for insecure men to try and nail you down.

lafemmeviolet · 2020-01-24T14:18:37+00:00

Oh and I should add, accepted horrible selfish sex and literally embarrassed myself crying when they lost attraction and didn't feel like fucking me anymore because of my total lack of self respect and self worth to put up with their bullshit in the first place.

shade_of_ara · 2020-01-24T19:27:15+00:00

He violently raped me in retaliation for getting angry that he skipped a job interview (he quit his job less than a month after we moved into a nice new place together) to hang out with a group that included his ex, while forcing me to repeatedly say out loud that he wasn't raping me.

And I stayed instead of kicking him out of the luxury apartment that I was already paying for solo.

It still makes me sick to my stomach to think about a decade later.

LikeIGotNeonGutz · 2020-01-24T15:12:22+00:00

I took a “nap” from 11pm to 3am in my going out clothes so I could meet up with a rapper after this club appearance. Made a whole story up on how I was already out. Then I got to the venue and waited another hour for him. Came to find out I had to wait outside where he was because he was with his gf at the time. Still went home with him. Still have chills and pings of self regret to this day and it was 5 years ago😒😭

PsychologicalSkill0 · 2020-01-24T15:25:02+00:00

I chased a guy for a couple of months but that was it. I‘ve never done anything major embarrassing but I still feel humiliated because of it. Never let a guy use me for sex or money, I would probably lose it if that happened but I‘ve always been too picky and prideful for that to happen to me

Fitncurly · 2020-01-24T16:26:57+00:00

Oh god, I’d say when I was in college and “competed” with the girlfriend of the guy my boyfriend was roommates with as to who could cook and clean the most/best for their man. I noped out of that though when she started doin the cleaning, cooking and laundry for ALL the roommates in their apartment—that was 3 other guys. Even then I knew that was bullshit and did nothing but provide a free maid and cook to random guys. I gladly “lost” 😆, but in the end my dude treated me magnitudes better than hers. He used to be pretty abusive and controlling to her, and didn’t like her being friendly with me because I was free-spirited and strong-willed. So yea 🤦🏻‍♀️

pinkyberries · 2020-01-24T20:37:36+00:00

The comments on here make me so upset, women go through hell with breakups, divorces and low effort men and get told to "get over it" yet still expected to be mentally healthy to date while men get a free pass at refusing commitment because their kindergarten girlfriend kissed another dude when he was 5 y/o.

lafemmeviolet · 2020-01-24T14:14:24+00:00

I proposed to myself. Twice. Because they were too lazy to ever plan anything or pull the trigger. Bought my own ring. Twice.

Planned every vacation and 99% of date nights.

I feel nauseated.

mephitmpH · 2020-01-24T13:00:09+00:00

I sent someone 1k to help him take a trip from Illinois to California after he’d dumped and ghosted me twice. Then dated him for nearly a year!

NeonPinkMoon · 2020-01-24T13:24:28+00:00

I spent two years with someone who lived an hour away. He came to see me three times, those were three times that I drove to him, picked him up and brought him back.

Buggy1218 · 2020-01-24T13:17:21+00:00

Not exactly one moment, but my entire last relationship. I spent almost six years as the forever girlfriend to a weed and porn addicted, overweight gamer because he kept moving the marriage goalpost.

Ironically getting married would’ve been my biggest regret had it ever happened. Thank my lucky stars I saw the light 😂

ScrybRanger · 2020-01-24T15:30:06+00:00

My then-boyfriend always made plans with me and then made excuses to not show up. One day I got tired of it, and we had plans to see each other at around 11am but he didn't answer his phone at all, so I went all the way to his house (an hour away) and stood outside for 3 hours ringing the doorbell, calling, and messaging him. At like 3pm he messaged me saying he had just woken up and asked why I was calling so much, so I told him we had plans and I was outside his house waiting for me. He told me he was too tired to go anywhere so I told him to just let me in and we'll hang out at his house, but he said no so I just went to the park near his house and sat there for another hour just in case he changed his mind lmao

riseaboveagain · 2020-01-24T15:43:38+00:00

I bought my well-off exBF a very expensive gift for his birthday, exactly what he wanted.

My birthday came. He bought me nothing, but described the nice item he had “wanted” to buy me, but didn’t.

He had the audacity to tell me, “It’s the thought that counts, right?”

I stayed with him for another year 🤦‍♀️

rosapalmera · 2020-01-24T16:51:05+00:00

[deleted]

thatsmyname12 · 2020-01-24T17:57:41+00:00

When I was in my 20's I took my boyfriend out for my birthday and paid for everything, petrol for his car so he could pick me up and gave him a gift...

I'm 47 now and joined this sub a couple of weeks ago. I've been a pickmeisha all my life and being part of this community has been a godsend. I've fallen for love bombing, negging and everything in between. No more! Thank you FDS!

natalie2k8 · 2020-01-24T15:08:46+00:00

My ex told me he was broken after his ex and didn't know if he could love me. He told me he was too much man for one woman and needed to be in an open relationship and he needed to "go first" because women had an unfair advantage in dating.

I was crazy about this man. Begged him to fuck me. Hung out with him and the women he was trying to fuck. Married him, supported him while he was jobless. Consigned on two cars and a house.

ModernDayDame19 · 2020-01-24T22:29:03+00:00

[deleted]

SarcasmSlide · 2020-01-24T21:20:10+00:00

I helped him raise the child he created when he cheated on me with a 17 year-old. I was undergoing treatment for endometriosis at the time and was unable to have children of my own. He eventually left me for one of my friends.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! 🤡 🤡 🤡

lusi24 · 2020-01-24T16:33:00+00:00

Had blonde hair for years and decided to go back to my natural hair colour (brown) but my bf at the time kept persuading me to stay blonde "because it suits me well" (but it's pretty obvious he just wants it because of his own preference).

After a couple of months of me mentioning it and him talking me out of it I start getting annoyed with him and I go to the hairdresser and dye my hair. After the hairdresser I show up to the coffee shop where he is sitting with our friends and he literally gets mad at me???? Like he can't even look at me, he's not talking to me and I see his eyes swelling up.

After that for two days we had endless talks about how its my hair and I can do whatever the fuck I want. This man was crying at multiple times during these talks and I consoled him (???). Finally he managed to get over it when he asked me if there is a possibility for me to go blonde again in the future and I said yeah maybe in a couple of years.

Tell me whyyyyyyyyyyyy did I stay with that guy for four years after lmao i wanna go back in time and slap some sense into my younger self

Sunday_V · 2020-01-24T19:02:51+00:00

Ugh, I’ve got years of shameful stories! One of my earliest was the first guy I slept with, who used to rank all my friends, and tell me what order and how he’d fuck us all. He also told me that the Kaiser Chief’s song ‘Everyday I love you less and less’ reminded him of me. Very emotionally manipulative. I stayed with him for over a year. 🤦‍♀️

turquoiseblues · 2020-01-24T21:25:16+00:00

He pressured and manipulated me into getting up out of bed to go meet him in the middle of the night, pretending it was for “coffee” or some such nonsense. He agreed that we’d stay up all night talking. I believed him. I was naive and vulnerable, so I didn’t know better.

We ended up having sex in the back of his work truck. (I was tired and nervous and not making good decisions.) As soon as he orgasmed (I didn’t), he put on his clothes. I’d never seen someone put on clothes that fast. Then he said he had to take me home.

“What about staying up all night?” I asked. His eyes bugged out wide with fear and then he proceeded to give me a condescending lecture about actions and consequences.

He dumped me out on the street at 2-something AM and then ghosted for two weeks, while I dealt with a painful sex-induced UTI. About five or six weeks after that, he gave me another condescending lecture about how I couldn’t possibly have expected him to care about me.

I blocked him after that, and I never made that mistake again. When someone asks me out past 9 PM now, I immediately block. When someone inappropriately sexualizes a conversation, I block. Lectures, condescension, negging, inconsistent communications, gaslighting: block. Never again. Fuck that guy, and fuck the rest of them. (Not literally.)

If anyone wants to avoid him, DM me for his Reddit name, his real name, and his photo.

pinkyberries · 2020-01-24T20:15:46+00:00

I wrote a long 2 pages colorful letter to a man almost a decade older than me when i was underage (we worked together) and the letter included a confession that i like him and see our lives together and he said we can't be together (he led me on for months) because of our age but we can still f*ck.

rosapalmera · 2020-01-25T01:41:01+00:00

Deleted

annaj892 · 2020-01-24T19:18:48+00:00

I had extremely low self esteem in college, I was basically bullied and insecure about being a virgin at 21. So I decided to meet someone online to "get it over with." The guy faked his personality for 3 months until we met, pretended to be normal to finally have sex with me and did a complete 180 after. Total narcissist with severe issues. Was super into BDSM and basically used me as a sex doll. The sex in hindsight was truly awful and he got annoyed I didn't know certain positions. I was confused when he wanted nothing do to with me on an emotional level since I thought sleeping with him would make him want some kind of relationship, idek. He basically said to only contact him unless I sent nudes. This was 5 years ago. I'm in a healthy relationship now with a great guy and it still kinda messes me up inside. I've only been with him, my current SO and 1 other guy, so I still think about it because there just isn't a lot of experience on my end. I feel a lot of guilt for being so stupid at the time.

bennettb11 · 2020-01-24T22:04:23+00:00

I was in a relationship this guy for like 6 months, Valentine’s Day rolls around no valentine day text, gift, date or anything. He pretended like the day was just an ordinary day. I had gone out my way to buy valentines gifts and prepare a dinner after class. Waited all night for his “surprise”. Nothing. Then when I told him I wanted to break up later that evening he proceeds to tell me that I’m shallow to break up with him bc of him ruining our Snapchat streak. When I tell him it’s bc he didn’t even acknowledge Valentine’s Day or anything he goes on to say, “oh I forgot”. I continued to stay with him for another 3 months. Absolutely pathetic 😂

iamjustventing · 2020-01-25T01:28:25+00:00

I changed religions for a guy, stopped doing clubs and activities he found "sinful", went to church 3 times a week to impress him, and changed my major so he would think I was intelligent enough for him. Then one day I had his roommate let me into his dorm room and slipped a note into his computer that basically told him that I really liked him and thought we should date. I even had a check yes/no (I thought it would make it more light-hearted). Mind you, I did all of this note stuff literally HOURS after he told me he was into another girl.

I was in college by the way. Did all of this shit to impress him. Never even dated the dude. Still cringe to this day S=

Aggressive-March · 2020-01-24T23:41:41+00:00

Flying out to see a guy I was in love with after he love bombed me (and even then there were red flags). Begging him and blaming myself after he yelled at me and slapped my hand. And then staying an extra few weeks because he begged even though by that point he was all red flags. So disappointed in myself. Never again!!

mdmayy_bb · 2020-01-25T16:09:50+00:00

Left behind a very well paying and prestigious full time job offer in NYC, where I was already living, to move with (aka follow 🙄) my ex to bumfuck nowhere in California. I gave up everything. I broke up with him one month ago exactly, am currently still living in bumfuck nowhere with his mom, and am moving back to live with family before going back to NYC to start over.

I fucked myself over so badly because I thought he was such a HVM and I doubted my ability to find anyone as seemingly HV as him. But he's not, at all. I was making excuses to myself about his shitty behavior for the entirety of our 3 + year relationship. And then I realized that I'm a freaking catch. I actually don't regret making such a huge mistake because I have learned a fuck ton about myself, how amazing I am, and how much pursuing my career is my top priority. Onwards and upwards!

poulette12 · 2020-01-27T01:04:37+00:00

When I was in college I fell in love with this guy within the 4 months we dated freshman year, even though the sex was never satisfying to me. He got mad and frustrated that I didn’t want more sex or wouldn’t be all enthusiastic about it. He said he wanted to open up the relationship and “outsource the sex” (his exact words) over winter break and I wasn’t having that. I basically broke up with him... then spent the next 1.5-2 fucking years chasing him and crying over him while he was dating this other girl from the friend group I never liked... until I finally went to therapy to fix my issues with myself and left the state, transferred to another university (not because of him but because I grew restless at the school, although seeing him everywhere after I got over him became annoying as well.) I still cringe so much over thinking about how worthless and stupid I made myself look over a stupid boy!! Ugh, how I wish I could take that back!! I feel like I was a stalker who needed a restraining order.

Title	What was your biggest Pickmeisha moment?
Author	rosapalmera
Upvotes	146
Comments	102
Date	January 24, 2020 11:39 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/et99rb/what_was_your_biggest_pickmeisha_moment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-was-your-biggest-pickmeisha-moment.684131 https://theredarchive.com/post/684131

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