Hi, happy 4th guys. Just a preface, I’m not saying porn is bad OK? Just that sometimes it’s taken to be reality when it’s not. Not going to yuck someone’s yum ya know?

In porn, take for example those bangbus videos- we see hook ups occur as this fabulous sexy thing. Girl gets in the van and is soooooo hype to suck a dick and oh wow she don’t need no foreplay. I think we’ve all seen a variation of this video from many sources.

Anyway, I feel like because of porn, we’ve forgotten that ONS and hookups can be awkward AF. You don’t know what they like, can’t get too kinky since you haven’t discussed kinks, and of course the condom, which isn’t terribly sensitive. In an LTR, you can ditch the condom since you’re monogamous and do all manner of kinky shit since you don’t have to worry about being called a slut.

Maybe it’s me, but I can’t even start to get past vanilla unless I have bond with the person and did to my semi religious upbringing I have occasional vaginismus issues. A lot of women I know are like this too. Anyway when I hear men talk about it I wonder if they even have had an ONS or hookup, or if they’re going for women who are more into it because most of my circle isn’t like that. Also it’s the internet, so there’s some doubt there when it’s r/ihavesex style stuff.

Anyway. Let me know what you think.