Oh, honey... 😣

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-06-12T05:25:26+00:00

Like a lot of women, she probably feels guilty for having wants and needs. I wish I could tell every woman that she's not 10 years old anymore, she doesn't have to stifle herself anymore, it's not greedy or shameful to accept things, and you don't have to feel guilty or indebted.

ivy176 · 2021-06-12T05:07:11+00:00

She's averse to receiving gifts even when she's giving many to someone. That's not healthy. She's trying to create a scenario where boyfriend is encouraged to work/provide as little as possible. She must want to feel needed or something. Probably doesn't believe she can be needed based on who she is, but only what she can provide. It's pretty creepy if you look at it that way. Shes trying to ensure he needs her. Kinda reminds me of misery. Lol

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-06-12T04:13:46+00:00

People who lavish others with gifts, but staunchly refuse gifts from others. Idk there’s just something off about that whole thing. I’ve known people like this and they are almost angry in their refusal to accept generosity. It’s off-putting to be their recipient if you’re not a user psychopath. Is it born of trauma? Low self-esteem so you feel like you have to buy friends and lovers?

Guyincognito9876 · 2021-06-12T05:01:54+00:00

And many women in the comments are saying how they do the same thing and their boyfriends “love it”! Of course they do - they get emotional support, sex, and lavished with gifts, with nothing expected in return!

eveloe · 2021-06-12T05:31:14+00:00

She doesn’t like gifts from him because he doesn’t put in effort into buying decent ones.

kreutzwortraetzel · 2021-06-12T07:12:41+00:00

This is confusing.

Does she like games or no? Why is it then a gift "for him"? Isn't she just getting a game they both can play? I smell fake "gamer girl" aka cool girl.

Why does a grown man need merch? Having the odd piece is okay. But if my man would start wearing merch on the regular, I wouldn't like it. Does he even want the merch or does she want his gratitude?

Third, having a custom made controller because of a ONE YEAR relationship is so overkill. I think she needs to assure herself of their undying love and deep connection.

There's something she doesn't admit to herself. She comes across as trying to hard, needy and in need of healing.

daisy_0720 · 2021-06-12T10:31:25+00:00

Her male friend sounds HV. Men who are well-raised and taught to respect women would absolutely feel uncomfortable with their girlfriend buying them loads of expensive gifts. They want to be the ones spoiling their partner and taking on the masculine role in the relationship.

All men would see this as a sign of low esteem - the only difference is that a HVM would respectfully end the relationship, while a LVM will just take and take. There is no way this arrangement will benefit her.

Natalie Lue on Baggage Reclaim put it best: "You see it as showing your love for them, they just see it as you not loving yourself."

spinsterchachkies · 2021-06-12T06:25:29+00:00

Girl what are you doing???

gibgerbabymummy · 2021-06-12T10:36:36+00:00

My ex used to buy me things he liked, to the point I would tense when given a gift from a male (family or not) for year after. I am a gothy grandmother type basically and he'd buy me pink shoes, satin dresses and diamond tennis bracelets and earrings..I hate diamonds. I specifically asked him for a Mrs. Beeton's cookbook once, so I'd get something that didn't make me feel inadequate, and I had a Mrs. Beeton's specialist needlework book and I couldn't frigging sew. It's alright though cause all the awful jewellery he brought me, I stored and when my dad became disabled, I sold it all and fed my parents for 6 months on it :)

vvioletwwitch · 2021-06-12T09:45:38+00:00

Sounds like she wants scrote praise for being ‘such a great gf’.🙄 “I buy absolutely anything my man-baby wants and get sweet fucking nothing in return but it’s totally just because I don’t let him.”😒

fireforestfairy · 2021-06-12T06:19:14+00:00

Ugh, it's not "wrong" to his bf as he probably enjoys being spoiled with gifts. And scrotes be like "Only women are gold diggers!".

excusemeILY · 2021-06-12T12:35:22+00:00

She’s his mom

GodILoveTheEnglish · 2021-06-12T04:07:00+00:00

Oh no, girl…

munissa · 2021-06-12T12:49:44+00:00

Oh honey is the perfect response.

frustratedmarxistfem · 2021-06-12T19:31:29+00:00

Find it weird that she's "frugal" but also throwing money away on gifts. That doesn't sound frugal, that sounds like she'd rather guy his love than give herself anything. She doesn't think she's worth it.

FlockAroundtheClock · 2021-06-13T01:11:38+00:00

Why is she talking about her boyfriend like he's her prized pet poodle?

MajesticSkyPachyderm · 2021-06-13T05:40:32+00:00

"Oh, honey..." indeed.

radsera99 · 2021-06-12T09:06:01+00:00

The least men can do is spend on us ... seeing as they provide nothing else in relationships

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2021-06-12T17:41:46+00:00

PICK HER, CHOOSE HER

afrodeasyak · 2021-06-13T09:42:47+00:00

If its one-sided you are getting played sis.

I love planning surprises and getting meaningful gifts and pampering my SO, however if I can't see that our energy levels are matched upfront, I nip that shit in the bud. Ain't NO WAY I'm doing all of that only to get neglected.

Title	Oh, honey... 😣
Author	Guyincognito9876
Upvotes	347
Comments	47
Date	June 12, 2021 4:04 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nxy3hw/oh_honey/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/oh-honey.782971 https://theredarchive.com/post/782971

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