It really boils down to character- most men fail. Stop praising basic stuff

I see a lot of women praising men for being ‘high value’ if they’re well read/ educated or dress well etc.

You can’t just declare a guy is automatically a HVM because he ticks x y z box on your list.

The fact is, it doesn’t matter if this guy is a top chef, cleans without asking, dresses slick, reads copious amounts of books, is romantic, 6’4 and works out....if this is motherfucker is dead inside and has a weak shady character.

Anyone can act like a gentleman, read some books, scrub up well, go to the gym, learn to cook or be a coward behind closed doors and a hero in public....that’s not impressive.

What’s impressive is someone with a strong character they worked on themselves for themselves. It takes EFFORT to show up and be honest with yourself and understand what makes women truly happy and want to commit longterm. These bluffing cowards could never. Their mask is always going to drop off at some point. They’re always going to get tired of pretending. They rely on shortcuts, manipulation and deception- it’s never going to last.

Many racists and sexists are well read/ present well and at first may seem otherworldly, cultured, romantic or educated....but as you get to know them their mask starts to slip and out comes their ugly ignorant views, nasty tempers and typical clown shit. They just know to hide the worst of themselves from public view and scrutiny.

Remember manipulators, especially skilled ones, are very good at seeming like a catch and presenting as gentlemen, Mr Right, Joe Smooth, knight in shining armour etc. It’s all part of their scripted ploy to deceive you. And they’ve rehearsed it many times before, though these chameleons will shape shift depending on the female target in front of them.

They will go to extra effort to fool a high value women who has a lot of options, as it massively strokes their ego. It’s like unlocking the difficult level of a video game to them. Don’t underestimate how a far an LVM will go to get access to women out of his league, parade them around to stroke his ego and disguise himself as someone’s he’s not. It’s part of the thrill to them. They know their character is too weak to put in the hard work it takes to really be considered high value, so they mimic and mirror you instead. They ride of the back of other people who worked hard to improve themselves at the core.

You like poetry? So does he now lol. You like romance? He’ll give you romance...and later an STI from cheating and possibly a black eye too.

Most manipulators know they can’t keep prey hooked long if they don’t play up to their fantasies and present well at first. So they will appease said target for a while by spoiling her and putting her on a pedestal.....but once you question their shady behaviour you will quickly get moved to the devaluation and finally the, discard stage. They will switch targets and find new supply once you see through them, because once a man knows you see him as weak, he has lost that game and can no longer impress you. It’s no fun to him anymore.

None of those traits or achievements are going to save you from the misery of cheating, gaslighting and abuse if his character is weak at the core.

If you ask me the top things you should be focusing on in a man are his:

Character

Temperament

Values

Many manipulative men I have met present well and look good on paper. Somewhere a Pickmeisha is thinking someone’s abusive ex / worst nightmare is her new Prince Charming because he dresses well and is well read. Little do they know he’s about to waste their time, emotionally abuse and humiliate them too. Abusive men are always switching targets.

In fact the worst manipulators I’ve met were at least college educated and had a degree. Many dressed well. Worked out. Cooked and cleaned. Well read . Had manly hobbies. Pulled out the chair. Acted chivalrous/ generous. Seemed like a ‘catch’.

This is what made them believe they were above the normal social rules and being called out / left alone. Because Pickmeisha’s will praise them for not dressing like a slob and bothering to read some books. They ticked a few superficial boxes on most women’s lists and believed they were HVM on that basis alone.

Didn’t stop them becoming abusive, angry, cheating or dropping their mask. These men started cracking and their temper / communication issues and ignorant views / immaturity started spiralling out of control as did their real intentions.

If you’re going to tie yourself to someone for a long time or have kids with them, you need to know they have a strong reliable character that can provide without being told, a stable temperament that can self-regulate strong emotions and communicate easily and in good faith, and you need to know they have similar values that align to yours....especially if they’re going to be passed onto children.

I see this with Pickmeisha’s too. They’ve levelled up their looks and education and careers.....yet they’re still weak at the core. They’re still insecure and let men walk all over them. They still have too much to prove to lousy men and too competitive with other women.

You are not auditioning to be his wife.

He is auditioning to be taken seriously as a potential candidate.

Who cares if he’s attractive, tall and well read if he takes actual joy in humiliating you and is cheating on you every Wednesday and Thursday? Is he really going to make you happy longterm? Is that going to realistically last?

Who cares if he’s well travelled if he has a nasty temper and is still racist?

Who cares if he’s smart if he uses that intelligence to become a better gaslighter / manipulator rather than a better man?

Who cares he dresses / cooks well if he has a dull, empty, shady character or completely shuts down like a child during an argument?

Focus on what is most important.

Don’t get sucked in by the smoke and mirrors, because once that clears (and it always will) you will be left with a weak cowardly manipulative person who doesn’t have any good intentions and is going to affect your mental health and the health of any potential kids. It’s not a joke, what you will end up with is someone who makes you very miserable week in, week out and gets off on that fact because it’s about power, ego and control to them....not satisfying you, truly connecting or making you happy for the longhaul.

As I mentioned above, a man can easily tick off a few boxes and put some effort into seeming like a HVM for 3-6 months...but shortcuts, deception and keeping up with Jones’s only takes you so far when dating someone HV. And high value women don’t take well to being deceived, once the mask falls off they can’t ever truly respect who he is underneath. It isn’t adding up. They don’t align. They’re incompatible and know he’s only going to bring more bullshit to the table.

What is really impressive is someone who has worked on the core of their character for THEMSELVES. They are driven by a moral conscience/ higher purpose to do better. Someone who continues to be caring, reliable, thoughtful, generous, fun and trustworthy, well past the puppy love stage. Someone who understands the social importance of treating women well and making sure kids are looked after/ grow up in a healthy environment.

It’s time we stopped rewarding these phoney cowardly deceptive weak abusive men with access to the real thing for too long just because they’re more attractive, dress well or are better educated than your ex.

You might seem proud to have a fake HVM on your arm because he’s attractive, tall, romantic, well dressed and lies to you well, but you won’t when you start feeling local staff stare at you too long because he’s cheating all over the town. You won’t when he becomes stubborn / abusive and starts gaslighting/ stonewalling when you won’t take his disrespect. You’ll realise he’s no prize and more like a burden/ sinking ship. You’re better off alone than tied to a man like that for decades- the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.

What will be left when his lovebombing runs dry, his lies run out and his looks start to fade? When he gets bored and drained from keeping the act up? The core of him is rotten. But the core of him is really what you get left with longterm.

I know it can be easy to find excuses for shitty men that tick several of your boxes and seemed promising, but remember the longer you stayed attached to an abusive man and invest in his lies- the longer and worse it will hurt and you’re just putting off the inevitable whilst massively pumping his ego up. He’s still abusive sis. Leave him in the dirt.

Who cares? A weak person dressed in deception is still a weak lazy coward at the core. He is not a prize. He is not impressive. He is intellectually, mentally and emotionally dishonest with himself. He isn’t trustworthy. He doesn’t respect you. He is a common sleazy cowardly ratbag and easy to replace. He is hassle, drama, heartache, humiliation, constant arguments, repressed anger, anxiety/ depression and ultimately a waste of your precious time. You will have no time to look after yourself once an LVM has stolen your focus and dragged you down. They are all consuming parasites.

What truly makes a high value woman want to commit and makes her happy / proud longterm....is a man who is special / stands out and knows how to keep showing up as a good man without being told. Someone that doesn’t follow the crowd. Is loyal and can take the lead without trying to conquer/ control her. Is secure enough he doesn’t have to play insecure mind games. Has their own drive to do better and actually wants to please their partner / help them grow and build an amazing fulfilling life together. Someone that would rather genuinely invest into becoming better for the longhaul rather than getting cheap short term thrills out of kicking random women down. Someone that’s strong at the core and understands his role as a man is to protect us, not abuse us.

Let’s be real, these liars don’t make us go googoo gaga once the mask drops off. It’s all downhill from there. Cowards are a terrible investment and really not worth the hassle making excuses for. It’s so exhausting, tedious and immature- like you’re seeing the same empty immature loser at the end everytime. You don’t love them, you love the lie. And they lied to her access to you- it was in their interests to do that. But that’s who they really are underneath the lies. That’s what you’re getting. They’re choosing to act that way as a grown adult. Don’t dismiss it.

Disrupt the idea that you have to put up with abuse to keep a man around. You really don’t regardless of how many boxes he previously ticked, and the more women realise that, the less comfortable low value men will feel abusing us.